Finally alone... utterly abondoned and forsaken.

Okay, so it wasn't as bad as this. After all, he had left Demaitre of his own accord. Left his protege, his Maddox... left Amara. Anger drove him to it. He went home. He went to Russia... then to France, to the shores where he had been driven to madness. And he had made peace with himself, with it. At least, a piece of it. Something still nagged at him, still guilted him and weighed him down.

It was a rare feeling for him, this guilt, this utter abadonment. However, he had come to terms with the fact that he had brought it upon himself.

He downed a shot of tequilla. Nasty stuff. He never liked liquior. He had always had more of a taste for fine wines and champagne. Perhaps it suited him, given his status.

His eyes moved from the bar out onto the dance floor. There had been a poetry reading here only the evening before and now it had been magically transformed into a club- with lights and music and sweating bodies all crushed together on the dance floor, swaying their bodies to the music from the rock band on the stage. He didn't know their name, but the young ones seemed to like them. He couldn't say he minded himself. Music was a thing of beauty, in all different genres.

They were beautiful, the humans on the dance floor. Glistening bodies, the smell of sweat- it made his heart beat speed up, his nostrils flair with the smell of their blood. He wished he could have them all. But alas, that would be cruel and needless. He would chose just one tonight and he already had his eyes on her. Now all he had to do was wait until the time was right to make his move.

Another shot of tequilla and he moved towards the dance floor, towards her. Her partner had left her and Vontae placed his hands upon her waist, amazed at how open humans were in situations such as these- how trusting and naive. In the real world, outside of these walls, an action such as this would have sent the girl reeling in either anger or fright. But here the world was different and she wrapped her arms around his neck, with no persuasion from him. Her pretty green eyes locked on his and her perfect, little mouth opened to shape a familiar word.

"Hi."

He grinned, that charming grin of his and pulled her closed, his body grinding against hers to the beat of the music that was flowing through him and capturing him as it often did.

She didn't know how she'd been forced to come here, didn't know why she agreed.

A few of her friends from her ASL class had decided to go out for a friends birthday, but well, Maddox had never really been the kind for clubs. She'd come along only to feel 'apart of the group' but sitting at the booth with a glass of water when the others were on their third drinks and out dancing about...

It just wasn't her thing. Never had been. She'd always liked quiet parties for celebration. Or just intimate little things with only friends. Not where the whole group gets together and parties with everyone in sight. Seemed a bit too... Impersonal.

She was supposed to be taking one of her Greek lessons with Sergei tonight, but she'd let him know about the party. as she made her way to the club instead. But right now, she'd rather be with Sergei.

Spending time with him was so wonderful... She'd loose track of time, only when Sergei began to feel the tugs of sleep and she realized that it was nearly dawn. But with him, she learned so much.

It was almost like this was waisted time. But then again... When she wanted, Sergei promised he would turn her. So time meant nothing to her anymore.

Somewhat comforted by that thought, she watched the others on the dance floor as if keeping an eye on her friends.

A familiar presence distracted him from his prey... a familiar scent of blood. Golden eyes scanned the room. It didn't take him long to figure out who it was that had distracted him.

"Maddie..." he whispered.

"What?" the girl he held look confused and he shook his head, giving her a warm smile.

"I'll be back, love."

She only nodded and grinned at him, not really caring whether he came back or not. She was a young, pretty thing and he was sure she'd gain the attention of another man without much trouble.

Vontae pushed his way out of the crowd, the scents around him confusing him. He only wanted one.

Then he spotted her. Sitting alone. He made sure she didn't see him as he slithered up behind her, unsure if he should approach her. Since when did he hesitate when he wanted something? Ah... there it was. Guilt, a pull at his stomach. She wouldn't understand why he had left. She wouldn't forgive him. He turned around, unable to look at her for a second. She had trusted him and normally, a humans trust meant nothing. But hers... well she had believed him and he had made it clear he would be there for her if only she called. She had never called... but perhaps it was anger, or perhaps she hadn't believed that he would return. Whatever it was, he was sure she didn't want to see him.

But he couldn't help himself. It had been so long since he had been so entranced with a human. It was still her, even after he had left.

He slid into the booth with her, across from her.

"Maddox," he whispered, lifting his head up so he could see her eyes.

Maddie jumped slightly and tensed as someone slid into the booth with her. It wasn't anyone she was with.

But as she heard his voice. As he looked up and those familiar golden eyes met hers... Her heart lept with some unexplained emotion. Longing, desire, aching...

No... It couldn't be. Vontae....? Why... How...

"Vontae..." She whispered to his mind. But that was all she could think. She... She didn't understand. He shouldn't be back. He couldn't be back here in the city. He was gone. She'd spent months looking for him, spent so many nights wandering the city, praying that she'd find him again.

A tear unexpectedly trickled down her face.

She didn't know why, or how, it had come so suddenly and brushed it away.

"You... You can't be back... Not after this long."

Pushing herself away from the booth she began to leave. If he was here... She couldn't stay. She wanted to stay, wanted to be with him but... But he... He would leave again. That was all he would do, or so she told herself. Sergei knew that all he had done was hurt her. And she saw why he said that now.

Tears were beginning to fall earnestly now, streaking her face as she brushed them away soon after the appeared. Her heart was hurting... A tight, aching sensation in her chest made her sit at an empty table. It hurt so much to see him. So many... Many feelings that were tearing her apart.

Why... Why had he come back?

Vontae watched her, an unfamiliar pain in his chest. It made it hard to breath, hard to speak, not that he needed breath. He was hurting. Because he had hurt her. Because he had watched that tear trickle down her cheek and didn't move a muscle. He wasn't sure how to respond.

He had never made a human cry...

He didn't like the feeling.

He watched as she got up and reached out to grab her wrist but could not manage to do so. He let his hand drop, watched her walk away from him. Amara had been the only one he had felt this strongly about, cared about in such a way. And though he hated it, he couldn't help the guilt. Amara had never walked away from him in anything but anger and once she had cried in his arms, but that had been just after he had changed her and she had been alone and frightned. This was a different kind of pain. One he hated to have caused Maddie. Maybe he should have just left her alone. But now that he hadn't, he couldn't just leave her like this.

He followed her to the table after a moment and sat down, placing his cool hand over her warm one. To touch her... he let out a soft sigh.

"I'm sorry," he told her softly, "I had to go. I had to figure some things out. You wouldn't have understand. I couldn't tell you. I was afraid you'd keep me here. Or want to go and that was something quite impossible. Where I have gone, you never would have survived. I'm sorry."

Then he stopped suddenly and watched her before saying, slowly, "But you never called for me. Called out to me. I thought you had forgotten me. But that was foolish. I should have done something, contacted you somehow. I did not."

He reached out, touched her soft cheek, "I never meant to hurt you."

And then he pulled away from her entirely, leaning back against the seat. His eyes holding true remorse.

How long had he been back in town? How long had he been here and not told her?

But maybe it would have been better if she'd never seen him again...

"You... you had to go?" Her voice was pained, as if she were struggling for breath. "Then why didn't you tell me? You just... Just disappeared. I didn't know what happened. I... I thought you were mad at me because I got scared when you were going to turn me. Vontae... Vontae, how could you leave me like that?" She said, looking up at him with a tear streaked face.

She pulled her hand away as he said that she never called out to him.

"Never? I cried for you every night! I searched this whole city for you... or someone who'd known where you went to... If you'd be back. You left me all alone Vontae. I loved you so much... I would have waited... I would have done anything you'd asked me to. But you never asked me to wait. You never even told me you were leaving!"

A strangled sob escaped as she nearly left again, but Vontae's fingers brushed her cheek softly. She ached for him just as she had before but... "You did Vontae... You hurt me more than anyone else ever could... Because I loved you..."

But did she still love him? Reason and sense would have said no, simply for what he had done. But love didn't make sense now.... Did it?

She had called out to him? And he had not heard? Distance made no difference. How could he not have heard?

He thought back, back to after he left. Had he blocked everything out? To protect her and himself? He couldn't remember thinking of anyone while he was gone. Not anyone after the point in which he had been turned. The journey was one for the past. Perhaps he had chosen not to hear her, without knowning he had done so.

He felt his heart sink as he heard her words, felt her pain. It was worse because she was inside his head...and his heart? No. He cared about her, that much was certain, but love... had he ever truly loved her the way she had? Could he love her... was he capable? It was the same argument back in forth. And now, especially now, did he want to?

He still wanted her. Vontae would always long for her. He longed to be the one to take her, to change her. He'd do it now if he had not known it was against her will. He would not have her turn against him as Amara had. This he had decided.

But sitting there with her he sensed something different about her...maybe someone?

"I did not hear you," he told her, averting his eyes. Never had it been so hard to look at someone. What had he become?

...He had fallen in love with this mortal. With her beauty, her mind... the smell of her. It wasn't hard to do, but it was his tragedy. She would never love him again the way she had before and she could never love him as he loved her. No mortal could ever love the way a vampire did. Was she worth fighting for? Could he gain her trust once more? Or did he want to go on living as he had before. Enjoying the blood lust and the money but never getting too close.

She would turn on him as he had her. That much was certain. Did he want to risk his heart or what was left of it?

"I was afraid you wouldn't understand. I don't think I ever planned on coming back. I wanted to sleep, to never return, but I could not. Instead I hunted for answers and when I found them, I came back. But there are always questions burning. I shouldn't have come back."

He looked confused, bewildered, unsure of his own thoughts and feelings. Her innocence made it so. It wasn't easy to hurt someone who could not be hurt. But Maddox... she was so...fragile and he ahd abused that when he promised her he would not.

"I love you," he murmured almost inaudibly. And then he got up and turned his back once more. There was nothing left to say or to do. He didn't want to hurt her anymore.

[sorry so confusing. I haven't quite sorted my thoughts out. but I guess it's how he's feeling now.]

((Heh heh, that's okay. It's just a little hard to read being so small >.<))


"It didn't matter... If you had promised Vontae... If you had told me you would come back for me..." She whispered. But... He hadn't planned on coming back? He didn't know if he ever would?

"Then you should have said Goodbye! You shouldn't have just left me Vontae!" She nearly yelled, but not out of anger. out of frustration and pain. "You disappear... You tell me nothing and don't ever contact me... And then you just come waltzing back... And you don't even come to me... You come to some club... To fine some other woman." Had she needed her true voice, she wouldn't have been able to talk for the tears, for the lump in her throat and the pain in her chest.

"I was finally getting over the pain Vontae... I was finally learning to deal with the mere memories you left me..." She began to sob again, longing, as she always did, for his arms around her, holding her tight and promising her that everything would be okay.

He loved her? If... If he loved her... Why... Why did he do all this to her? Why did he hurt her so much? Love wasn't supposed to be like that was it? Wanting to tear your heart out so you wouldn't feel? Wishing that you had never met the person just so you could stop crying yourself to sleep. She had told Sergei that she wanted to remember... That she wanted to keep her memories...

But now... Now she wasn't so sure. Sergei... He... He could probably erase them... But she couldn't ask him to do that could she?

"Vontae..." She whispered pleadingly. "No... Don't.... Don't go... Please. You can't just leave me like this again."

Vontae turned around and looked at her, his eyes creasing as he shook his head.

"I didn't come back for some other woman, Maddie."

'I came for prey.' he whispered into her mind, slightly and abruptly disgusted with himself.

When she asked him not to go, he could not leave. She had a power over him that no mortal had ever had and as much as he wanted to stop feeling, he could not.

He slid into the booth next to her, unable to answer the questions she had asked. In his mind, it had been justified- but now he wasn't so sure. He was silent for a moment, his thoughts a mess. He had to try to explain.

"I didn't want you to stop me. I thought it would be easier for you if I just left. I thought you would be angry enough to forget about me. I never thought I'd see you here..." but no matter what he said he couldn't justify to her, couldn't make her understand. She was so innocent... she wouldn't think like him.

He pulled her into his arms, kissed the top of her head, "I'm sorry angel."

Prey... He had come to feed... So? Why didn't he find her? Why didn't he come to her again?

"You could have come to me Vontae... You could have come back to me..." She said softly.

Stop him? Stop him from going? She wouldn't have done that. She would have understood that he needed to go. Maybe not why he needed to, but at least that he did. "I... I wouldn't have stopped you Vontae. I wouldn't have held you back. I could never do that. You should have told me... Just told me you needed to go, and promised you would be back." She fell silent though as he pulled her close, as he kissed at the top of her head.

Her eyes closed as she let out a shuddering sigh, her fingers curling into his shirt slightly.

"I was angry at first... But then... When I started thinking about what I'd done... I... I thought it was all my fault. That you thought I couldn't stand you and in some way had rejected you. I thought you were angry with me... I thought you hated me or something." She hadn't even told Sergei of that fear, the real reason why his disappearance had been eating away at her.

"I'm sorry Vontae... I'm sorry if I made you think I was afraid of you, or rejected you... I... I just wasn't ready to be turned. And I still don't think I am." She murmured as she took in his familiar scent once more.

"I know you would not have stopped me," he told the top of her head, "But I don't think I would have been able to leave you had I come to say goodbye. And I didn't want to make any promises I wouldn't keep. I thought I would leave and start over after I found the answers I needed- if I managed to do that. If not I was going to go home. Go to the place where my empty grave is and...sleep...I know it doesn't change anything. I should have at least said goodbye. And for that, I'm sorry."

He shook his head at the next words Maddox said.

"I could never hate you. I hate few people. It's an emotion wasted. I didn't leave you because you had wronged me in anyway. I suppose I felt as though I had wronged you by pushing you so hard. I know you aren't ready and you weren't then either. Perhaps by leaving I was hoping you'd have time to think, to decide what it was you wanted. If it was me you wanted. But I've only pushed you away. I can't say sorry enough, my love.... and I can smell the scent of another- close to you- another like me. Have I come too late?"

He closed his eyes, leaning his head against hers. What was he asking her? After leaving her the way he did it was a question he had no right to ask. Yet he had felt compelled to and now his heart beat fast as he waited for her answer.

[I need to wake up!]

Maddie began to smile, ever so slightly, as he apologized and acknowledged his wrongs. He knew that he had hurt her... He knew that she had suffered when he left so soon, and he had apologized for it.

But... But it hadn't been here that he wanted to leave. It was something else, something else she probably wouldn't understand, but it wasn't because of her.

But... Maddox bit her lip as he asked about Sergei. Well perhaps not by name, but he knew that there was someone.

"He... He is my teacher Vontae. I love him dearly, but not as I loved you." She told him softly. "I... I couldn't love him that way because of you... I mean.. I don't know if I do." Recently she had been feeling strange urges, desires for him... But she didn't know if they were true, or if she was simply longing for Vontae again.

"Sergei has been teaching me so much Vontae. About language, about his people and about vampires. He saved me from the pain that I felt. He is like a father... A teacher, a mentor to me... But I... I don't know if he loves me in that way." And she would never ask. Not now.

But... But what would he say when she told him that Vontae had returned? What would he do? She knew that he only ever looked out for her well being, her happiness. But what would he think, when she had told him never to mention his name to her again, told her that he had done something unforgivable.

Was Sergei right?

Vontae listened, saying nothing as she told him all this. A new vampire, a new sire. He frowned inwardly, though he would not let her see it on his face. He didn't know what to say. Didn't know if he should try to sway her from continuing with Sergei. But she was learning, growing. He could probably teach her more than Vontae could. Sure he knew a lot, but his teaching skills... well he hadn't had much practice that was for sure.

"I love you in that way," his voice shook slightly with the words.

[sorry so short. I have to go take hannah to the pool. I'll try to finish this later. Or if you want, you can try and work with it.]

((As long as it's more than a paragraph, I'm good :) ))


A new vampire? Yes... After having Vontae, someone who could understand her finally... She couldn't go back to being all alone now could she? She had to find someone who could understand her, someone who could guide her and help her... But a new sire? She had thought of it. She wouldn't lie if he asked. But what had he left her with? Nothing... She didn't know if he would ever be back, if he would ever show his face to her again.

She wanted to be a vampire, with or without Vontae there. He had shown her a world, a world that she wanted to belong to one day.

"Do you thought Vontae...." She asked, her voice wary. "Do you still love me? Even thought you were gone for so long?" She had to know... She had to know if he still loved her, still wanted to be with her forever, or at least until they went their separate ways, centuries from now.

"Yes," He told her, his voice firmer now, "I do love you."

Normally it would be easier for him to say to her that he wouldn't have said it if he hadn't meant it. Yet that would be a line she might not believe, considering he had left her as he did after promising to be there for her, to help her. He had been selfish in his leaving and he knew it. He only hoped she could see it.

Better yet, he wanted her to feel it. To feel the extent of his love for her.

He pulled her closer to him, encasing her in his strong arms, feeling her warmth. God, how warm she was, how he wanted to never let her go. It would be easy to sit and hold her forever, until everyone about them was dead and long gone and only the two of them were left- their hearts beating with the same rythym for all eternity.

But now he was getting distracted. Vontae closed his eyes, opened his mind and his heart as best he could. His defenses were hard to break after so many years and to open his mind to someone else left him vunerable and weak. He was always wary of doing such. Doing such made it easier for that person to break the barrier over and over again, to gain control. But he trusted Maddox. And being human, breaking that barrier would be more difficult for her then it had been for Amara.

'Relax,' he told himself, knowing she would hear it as clear as if she had thought it herself.

A warmth suddenly flooded through him, and he wrapped her mind in it- not knowing how she would interpret it but knowing that she would know what it was he was trying to show her- that she would know how vunerable he was to her in this moment. He was opening himself up to her in a way that he rarely ever got the chance to do and he couldn't help but think about how good it felt to do such a thing, as scary as it was.

'Can you feel it?' he whispered into her mind.

So long.. It was only when she thought of her words that she realized how stupid they sounded. Vampires measured their existence in years, decades, even centuries. What really was a month to a vampire? Or even eight of them?

As he opened his mind to her, she nestled close against him, murmuring with warmth and contentment, like a child wrapped up in warm blankets being held close. Could she feel it? Yes. She could feel that he did love her, that he wanted to be with her and hold her like this.

He knew how much it pained her when he left, he knew that he had hurt her deeply and he was sorry for it.

But still... Would he do it again? He might have realized the error he made, but would he fix it?

"Yes... I can feel it Vontae... I can feel it." She murmured, nuzzling his chest softly.

"Maddox?" A voice called out, snapping her out of her little daze. "Maddox, we were wondering where you ran off to! We were thinking someone kidnapped you or something!" One of the girls said with a grin.

Maddie shook her head, smiling slightly. 'I-' she began to sign, not really knowing what to say. 'This is my boyfriend. The one who went away? Well he's back now.'

But that didn't really get the reaction from her friends that she was hoping to get. Two of the others looked at each other, and the one who had spoke was frowning slightly. "Oh... Well in that case, we'll be back at the table if you need us." She said before signing quickly. 'Just don't let him hurt you again.' before heading back.

As if Maddie didn't know that already.

A voice rang out, making Vontae pull away from Maddox. A girl he didn't know, but the two of them were obviously friends, was speaking with Maddie.

"Should you go?" he asked her as he friends walked away, "I didn't even think that you might have an agenda when I saw you here. Maybe we can meet again in a few nights? Somewhere more private so we can talk?"

He didn't want to leave her but the other girls didn't seem to like the fact that he was there with her. And he was sure she wanted to spend time with her friends. The two of them had plenty of time to figure things out. Besides, he was hungry. His seeing her had disrupted his plans for the night as well. Not that he minded so much, though he was starting to get a little light-headed with lack of blood.

"I don't want to keep you from your friends..."

"No!" She said suddenly, nearly grasping at his shirt. "I... I mean don't go Vontae. Please. I miss you so much... And... And they know I don't like these places. I want to be with you. I don't want you to go, not now Vontae." Her voice was pleading, almost begging him to stay.

But she remembered what he was here for and pressed herself slightly closer to him. He needed to feed? He had come here for that reason? "Take me... If... If you need blood, you only have to tell me. You don't need another woman, do you? I fit you... My body knows you and only you Vontae."

If he said he loved her... Would he refuse? Would he say it was too soon, or would he accept her offer of blood. Of flesh. Because she was offering everything, anything to him. He only had to tell her what he wanted, tell her what he needed and she would not refuse him.

She wanted so much to believe him when he said that he loved her still, but she wouldn't deny that it was hard. If he accepted her offer, how he treated her would tell her the truth. She would be able to tell in his touch.

"It's okay Vontae... Really..."

Vontae looked at her, his face overcome with unreadable emotion. He didn't know how he should feel. Part of him was suddenly angry at her stopping him. He might love her but he couldn't help his roots. A woman needed to learn her place.

But that feeling quickly passed and he felt ashamed of it. It wasn't as if she had done anything wrong. His face softened.

'It would not be enough my love. I do not wish to feed from you like you are nothing other than another victim. Your blood, even willfully given, should be taken only in love not in hunger. Tell you what. Wait here, spend time with your friends. I'll be back in an hour and we can get out of here if you so choose.'

He loved her and that was what stopped him. Part of him could not justify taking her blood at all, but there were moments when he knew he would not be able to resist. Even the thought of the taste of her blood made his mouth water suddenly as he remembered the last time. He let out a strangled gasp at the sudden onslaught of that memory. How he had missed her and how he wanted her. But he couldn't, not now anyway.

"I promise I'll be right back, Maddie."

He kissed her lips, sighing with the pleasure of it.

"I've missed you, so much. There's no way I'm letting you go willingly again."

He brought her in his arms once more before sliding out of the booth.

"Plus I'm sure your friends are dying to tell you how much seeing me is a mistake. And you don't want to pass up a chance to bad mouth me," he teased her playfully. And then he added in a whisper.

"I love you Maddie."

And he was gone.

She began to shake her head as he spoke to her mind. She didn't want him to go. She didn't want to lose him again, didn't want him to leave her side. He had come back to her finally, it was too soon, far too soon for him to leave now.

But there had been an anger in his face as she had clung to him. She had seen it as she looked up at him. She didn't know why he had been angry, but she clung to him none the less. It was too soon. Too soon for him to leave her.

But he pulled away, kissing her softly, and a moment later he was gone, leaving her with only a promise of his return.

But... She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to be in this loud overwhelming place. How could he leave her here? How could he just tell her to wait when she had already waited for so long.

She didn't know how long she was sitting there, alone with a look of deep loss in her face.

"He hasn't changed then has he?" One of the other girls spoke. "Maddox... We thought you were over him. I mean it's been si-" But one of the other young women elbowed the one speaking, making her shut up. "Maddox... Come on. He's a jerk. He left you without a word last time, what makes you think he can change. And why do you think he left."

'I don't know' She signed lethargically. 'But... I guess I wasn't over him. And I don't know if I would ever be.' Her hand signs were slow, interrupted as if by thoughts.

"Are you okay? Do you want to go home, I could give you a ride if you want." The one from before offered.

'No. I'll be okay. He's gone now. Maybe... Maybe he won't come back. If he doesn't then I'll know the truth.' Maddox signed slowly.

But she would wait. Wait until dawn if she had to. She loved him so much... And she realized why Sergei worried for the pain he caused her. Because it was still fresh. It was raw and bleeding even after this long. And his reappearance... it had torn everything open again...

Vontae needed to feed. As he had been sitting there with Maddie he could feel the hunger growling at him, begging him, and his blood had begun to boil. It wouldn't have been long before he had lost his patience with her. It was good that he left when he did. He was still vampire and a vampire's truest nature boiled down to the desire, the need, for live blood.

He had spotted that girl again and had half a mind to take her but something held him back. The girl's innocence, maybe. Since when did he have a conscience about who he took?

Instead he had walked about a mile away from the club and had cornered a man about to kill himself in his home. He had taken him gently and left him still breathing before going on to find his next victim. Perhaps the man would go on to realize how much he truly treasured life. He had no will to kill that night. A female he fed from this time, leaving her breathing as well- but without that kill he wasn't satiated completely. He felt slightly empty, as if something were missing. To feel that heartbeat slow until near death was his greatest pleasure and he had not the heart to do it that night. Something had changed in him. And he feared it. He hoped this feeling would wear off by the following night. For now he would be able to deal with the slight hunger that nagged at him. Tomorrow night he would become that true hunter once more.

With cheeks flushed red with new blood, he made his way back to the club- arriving exactly one hour later. He spotted Maddox immediately and couldn't help the grin that overtook his face as his entire body warmed at the sight of her. Even this was a new feeling for him. He had never cared about someone so completely. Not even Amara. He felt if anyone were to take her away from him now, he would fall to pieces. Die of heartbreak. It was a strange and foreign emotion, one he automatically tried to push down and bury. He had never been one to be afflicted by pride. It was obvious, love was his only weakness. His only vunerability.

"Did you miss me?" he whispered in her ear as he came up behind her and kissed her cheek.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

Weak... Vulnerable... Didn't he realize that around him she was the same way?

Maddie's mind was in a torment really, thinking about everything that everyone had said to her. Vontae's words to her... Sergei's warning and worry... her friends beratment of this 'two timing heartless monster', for they were convinced that there was another woman.

Was there? He... he hadn't mentioned any other women really. She didn't know about any at all.

Would he take advantage of her like that? Would he betray her so deeply that he would lie to her?

He... He would have his reasons after all... But why would he try to lie to her if there was someone he loved more? Would he be with them instead?

"Just forget about him Maddie. That tutor of yours, Sergei? Well, he's right. He's done nothing but hurt you, nothing but made you cry weeks on end. I mean... We might not have seen the tears, but we could tell Maddox." Sarah said, only intending to help her friend.

But... Like she had told Sergei, how could she forget about him? He was the first love of her heart and more. He wasn't so easily tossed aside. And... And in a way, he did care for her. She knew that in the way he touched her, and how her body ached to feel him touch her again.

But she was afraid... Afraid that if she trusted him again, opened herself up to him once more that he would only tear her heart out, leaving her broken and miserable...

Maddox gasped suddenly, but softly, as she heard a voice at her ear.

Pressing back against him she closed her eyes. "Anywhere... Just get me away from here Vontae." She whispered softly. She didn't care where they went, what they did. She just didn't want to leave his side, didn't want to be without him.

She had in fact already written her friend a note saying that she was going home to clear her head and she would see them tomorrow in class. She had been ready to go.

Vontae took her by the hand and lead her out of the club. He couldn't stop thinking about her warm skin against his, the way she looked at him, and how he never wanted to leave her side- yet how he knew that in the end he might have to. But he would never again hurt her the way he had. He knew that much.

"Let's go to my home."

When they got outside he called over a taxi and helped her in. Best to take her the human way. Tonight had been enough of a shock.

He didn't speak much, but held her hand, unconsciously rubbing his thumb against the back of it. When the arrived, her climbed out and then went around to open her door, holding his hand out to help her out. And then he wrapped her arm around his, in a gentlemanly fashion and led her to his apartment. He was sure she would remember it from before. He had rent paid up for the next year, so all the while he was gone no one had stepped foot in it.

They were greated by a warm burst of air as they walked through. The fire was going. Something he had managed by thinking about it as they were walking up. Candles lit the entire room. They were the only light his eyes could handle well enough. None at all was best, but she was human and she needed sight.

He led her to one of the couches and put a blanket over her lap should she want it. It was a chilly night.

"Sit here, love. Would you like anything to drink? I've got cocoa or tea, water, soda... rum..." he added the last part with a playful wink, "What would you like?"

His apartment? Of course she remembered it. The elegance, the finery that was there. She followed him up, praying this wasn't all a dream, that he was back and here for her. If it was a dream, may she sleep for all eternity, never waking up so long as the dream continued.

As Vontae began to fuss over her she took his hands in each of hers.

"Vontae... stop." She said softly, smiling up at him. Using his weight as a balance, she pulled herself up to him and slid her arms around his waist, pulling herself close to him. "I don't need anything, or want anything, but you. You have no idea how happy I am to see you again... Or how much I've missed you. I thought I had scared you away forever, that you hated me for some reason. I wanted to die when I thought I had hurt you Vontae."

Standing on her tip-toes she kissed him softly, pressing her warm body against his cooler one. Her kiss, as soft as it was, was also eager, waiting. She hadn't wanted him to leave her at the bar, but she didn't have a choice. She missed him so much that now that he was back, she felt as if she could live again for the first time since he had left.

As if Sergei, as if everything he had done for her was just an attempt to fill the hole he had left. And.... And wasn't that really what it was? No... Sergei meant something to her just as Vontae did. he had been there for her in her darkest hour. He was more than a friend, and though not a lover, she did love him.

But Vontae... He had chosen her. He had wanted her for his lover and she fit him. Her heart, her body, they were for him alone.

"I've missed you so much... I don't even know how to tell you, in any language." She thought to him with a smile on her face as she pulled away from the kiss for a breath, caressing his cheek with her fingertips.

[I'm sorry I'm with Claude and super distracted. I'll post for you tomorrow. Sorry it's been so long.]

Vontae was silent, absorbing her words unsure of how to respond. He didn't think words could explain to her exactly how he was feeling at the moment. He was overwhelmed. He felt almost...numb with happiness.

Her perfect lips pressed against his and he closed his eyes, a warmth he had not known in quite some time flooding through him. He could not believe he had been without it for so long.

She reminded him of...

The thought was too painful, he almost lurched away from her. It was a person he had not thought about seriously since he had been turned. Why had she come to mind? His heart ached with the thought of it.

But instead of pulling back he drew her closer, hoping she hadn't noticed his hestitation.

"I feel the same way."

((Sorry so short! And sorry it took me so long! My computer crapped out on me.))

She kissed him softly, eagerly, enjoying his arms around her, his scent surrounding her.

But he broke the kiss suddenly and she looked up at him confused. But a moment later he pulled her close again. It was brief and almost unnoticed even by her. But she had learned long ago that body language meant so much. She had felt him tense, felt his body want to pull away.

"Vontae... Are you okay? Do..." She didn't want to ask... Afraid of what the answer may be. "Vontae... Are you really happy to see me? Am I really what you want?" It had been a question that she actually wondered about for a little now, Afraid that when he saw her, he only came back to her out of obligation or out of pity. "Please... Tell me if you truly don't love me anymore... Or if you never did. I'm not accusing you." She said quickly, not wanting him to misunderstand.

"I just want to know what I have here... What I'm holding and what I want is real. I want this to be real... But if it's not, I don't want a fantasy." She whispered into his mind, looking up at him pleadingly.

Vontae looked down at her, a soft smile playing upon his young features. He shook his head.

"Don't be silly. I was just... remembering something. Don't ever doubt my love for you."

He paused, trying to collect his thoughts before he went on.

"I suppose I might do well to tell you. I am sorry I seem distant at times. It's rare I have someone else to share my thoughts with. But don't think I am trying to hide anything from you. My past had been a secret for a long time because there are many elements to it. At times I don't even know what's true anymore. There is always so much more to say than I can put into words. But this is a story that I could never forget and I want to tell you if you don't mind listening."

It was rare he got to remember his mortal days and rarer still he got to speak to an audience about him. He did enjoy, at times, talking about his past whether painful or not. Even as a child he had enjoyed telling stories. He had loved to entertain and telling stories had been his only talent. He would often make them up and tell them to his childhood friends. He took great delight in their rapt attention of him and the words that flowed through him. It was not so much as to gain attention as it was to please them. Perhaps that was why when he was human he had been thought weak. He had been an avid people pleaser and often let his emotions get the best of him.

"Perhaps it might give you some insight as to why I am the way I am sometimes. I don't want the things I hold in my memory to hurt you because I can't share them with you. It's not because of you I pull away."

Maddox smiled at his reassurance and settled herself back into his arms quite happily. After all, if he were lying, he wouldn't really offer to explain everything.

"That sounds good to me. I would love to hear your story Vontae... I want to hear about your life... And I want to know why you left... You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything... As long as your back, and you won't just leave me like that again, I don't care."

She looked up at him then, a hopeful look on her face.

"Promise? Promise that you won't leave me without first telling me at least? And that if you do leave, you'll come back?" Of course she wanted him to stay with her, but if he ever did leave, or need to... If he just told her she would wait. She would understand that he did have his reasons even if she didn't know them and would accept that he knew better. He was far older after all, and where as in most cases she wouldn't trust people in that way, she trusted him.

Vontae kissed her head, her cheeks, her lips and then said, "I promise."

He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Vontae was slow to begin his story, unsure of what he wanted yet to reveal to her. He was afraid if he told her too much she would shy away from him, or worse yet, hate him.

So he started at the beginning, "I was born in Russia in 1773. My father left for war shortly after I was born and didn't return. He died in 1776, the details of that are not important at the moment. What is important is that my mother ignored me after that, so devastated with grief she was. I can't blame her. My father had been everything to her. I had an older sister who was just 15 at the time. She had been married two years earlier. I moved in with her. Already she was pregnant with her second child who was born just before my fourth birthday. Her first she had lost to a miscarriage and now she had me to stress about as well. Despite my love for my sister, I left when I turned 16. She was pregnant with her first girl at the time and I was enough trouble as it was.

"I had no talents as a child. I couldn't even speak English or lift more than twenty pounds. I had always been a weak boy, more interested in books and stories than anything else. However, I wanted to get away so I snuck onto a ship unsure of where it was going. Hawaii I had hoped. It didn't take long for the Captain to find me, however, and I was sure he would leave me at the next port. Or have my head. Yet he did not. He made me part of the crew and I grew much stronger, physically at the very least. He became like a father to me and I felt finally like part of a family being part of that crew.

"I was a handsome boy, though shy and quiet. Still more interested in books. I fell in love with a girl off the coast of France. She was soft and warm, and she had these bright blue eyes. I had never been with a woman before her. She caught my attention the moment I saw her. Dark curls set in a hairdo right for a young lady of the day and clothes of not a rich woman, but not a poor woman. She was of good stature. She took to me immediately. Perhaps it was my foreign blood or the way we liked the same things. I don't know but I knew she could have done better. She had suitors from many places.

"But she was a troubled child and I loved her dearly for it. Part of her wanted to conform to her parents wishes and the other part of her wanted to run off with me, a free spirt. But she was not a free spirit. She was raised in the ways of a lady and she would always be that. She became pregnant a few months lafter we met, about the time I was due to leave with my crew. Not being married to me, she couldn't bare to live with the shame of it. Nor would she abort the baby. I didn't want her to. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Her parents wouldn't have it and disowned her. They wanted to cover it up like it had never happened but neither of us could do that. The baby was born nine months later. And during those nine months my dear wife, the love of my life, was unhappy and devastated though she loved me very much and hid it very well- I thought we were happy and that we would be forever despite the circumstances of the birth. The baby was a healthy little girl that looked more like her mother than me. But she had my olive skin.

"I couldn't believe the miracle of it. I had never seen anything so beautiful. But her mother didn't feel the same way. She was happy with the child, loved her more than I did, but her shame was great and she drowned herself in the ocean only a few months later.

"I was crushed, but I had my baby Laura and she kept me going. My crew came back shortly there after and I rejoined them, daughter and all, for one last journey back home."

Vontae stopped, a portion of his story complete. And then said in a soft voice, his sorrow evident...

"You remind me of her, my Maria."

Maddie listened to him, nestled against him as they lie on the couch now.

So... He'd been married before, and he even had a daughter. But then his wife had killed herself. Why had she done something so foolish? She had a man who loved her and a healthy child... Maddie understood the pain of being so far and cut off from your family. She had felt like that when she had lost her voice, unable to tell them anything.

But what did it matter if a few people didn't understand her as opposed to new ones who loved you unconditionally.

But Maddie couldn't help but frown as he said that she reminded him of her. "I... I don't think that we are that much alike... Certainly not physically, as my hair's blond and my eyes mostly green... And I would have never left the man I love, or my child." She said simply, not sure else what to really say...

Sergei had told her some of his story, but not all of it, and for the most part she had listen to his as well, without too much commenting.

Vontae shook his head and let out a deep sigh, one that came from deep within.

"You don't remind me of her physically. But she had a spirit much like yours when I met her. She would have faced anything with a strong spirit. I'm not quite sure what triggered the change.

"But she made me happy when we were together. I loved her smell and her feel, that porcelain touch. Before you only she had ever made me feel the way you make me feel."

He wasn't sure that she would understand, or if he was making sense at all. The connection he had made was hard to explain. It could have been anything, her smell, her taste, her touch- but he thought it was nothing more than the way she loved him. It was a simple as that. Though he knew Maddie cared for him more than Maria ever had- for like she had said, she would never leave the man she loved or her child.

Maria had had a troubled spirit, always fighting against herself and her own wishes and wants.

"But that was a long time ago. It's only a fading memory, one I often wonder is truly real now. But I know it has to be. It's the pain that has etched it into my soul. It was bittersweet. Perfect and yet horrifying in the end. Yet I learned a lot from her and from the experience. I suppose life is often like that."

Maybe that was so... Perhaps they had the same sort of spirit when he first met... But she knew well what it was like to be cut off from the world... From all you loved.

But she had gotten it back. By some wonderful accident, she had gotten things back. And that was why she had held on. "I never loose hope... And perhaps that is the difference between us. I could have given up after the accident. But I hoped still..."

Turning over to face him, she kissed him deeply, the aching of months in her body from missing him. She had buried her pain with Sergei's help and teachings, but she could never truly forget his loss. Not until now. Now that he was back.

He wasn't done with his story of course, for he had mentioned nothing of his sire. But it could wait... They had all the time in the world now... The had all the time in the world to be together.

"I held on to hope, even when others told me that it was no good... Even when Sergei said that you had forgotten about me... I hoped in my deepest heart that you hadn't. I tried to forget... But it was always there, some little glimmer... And now you've come back to me..." She whispered in his mind, her hands caressing his face gently at first, then running down his chest. "I don't care why you are back... Or even why you left, even though I am curious. the reason won't change my mind. All that matters is you're back... Here... With me..."

He listened to her, smiling. He was glad she didn't pressure her into saying much else. That small story had taken heart out of him and he wanted to be able to tell her so much... but in his own time.

And when she kissed him, he closed his eyes, melting into her. He too, ached for her. It had been so long since...

She pulled away, her hands carressing his face, her voice soothing in his mind. He could hear her voice in his head, as it was, but there were times when he ached to hear what she sounded like when she could speak. He could get fragments of it as she spoke to him, but it was how she remembered her voice to be and not how it was. But her touch and her kiss were enough to suffice, for now.

"That is what attracted me to you at first. Your spirit. You have so much hope, and most importantly, I have yet to find anger in you for what has happened to you. You take it all as it comes and you learn to find a way to live with what happens. That's a good quality in anyone, human or not. It's rare you see that."

He loved her for her innocence. She had seen so much, yet she retained that hope and that pureness.

He held her face in his hand, stroking her cheek before bringing his lips to meet hers once more. The kiss this time more urgent, filled with desire and longing for all the days that he had missed her.

As they kissed Maddox let her body go, she couldn't hold herself back. She didn't want to.

Vontae's urgency was matched by hers, her body pressing hard against his. She needed him... She had missed him for so long, had been aching for him for so long.

Her hands slipped up his shirt, running along his skin. It was cool, soothing... His scent made her shiver, made her whimper softly. Innocence... Did she really have innocence any longer? Was sh really that same sweet girl she used to be?

How could she be angry at anyone for what she had done herself? There was no one to to blame but herself...

"I've missed you so much..." She whimpered achingly.

"I've missed you too."

He loved the feel of her hands, hot against his cold skin. His own hands reached for the warmth of her body, sliding up her shirt to rest on her hips, just enough to touch that warm skin as he continued to kiss her.

Where her hands touched left, hot, trailing prints. Not physically on the outside, but he could feel it burn within him and it made him want her more. The love her felt for her mingled with the strong desire to touch her and be with her. He lusted after her. She was the last woman he had been with, an unusual thing for him to wait so long and he couldn't help that natural male response. He wanted her.

[bleh this guy next to me keeps talking to me and it's distracting me. Sorry for the crappy post.]

His hands brushed against her skin for the first time her body jerked and she gasped. She couldn't help it. She hadn't felt any touch like that in so long, it startled her, but she relaxed.

She wanted this... Wanted him... Wanted to be with him, here with him now.

"Don't stop Vontae... I've missed you so much, wanted to see you... feel you with me again." She whispered as she kissed him passionately. It was more than lust... More than love... It was something where the two would meet.

Her hands wandered further up, pulling his shirt with them. The kiss was separated for a moment as he pulled his shirt off. But she couldn't keep away for more than a few seconds afterwards, kissing him once more.

Her hands burned against his skin. It was a comfortable feeling, one that he enjoyed too much.

He raised his arms above his head as she pulled his shirt off and replaced them on her body as soon as it was gone. And her lips were once more against his and he was letting his hands wander, touching the sensitive parts of her body- her exposed neck, the inside of her thigh. She smelled so good, he didn't want to ever let her go. Her scent was intoxicating. The want of body and her blood, excrutiating. For a moment he had to pull away, had to relax his beating heart so that he didn't lose control.

Vontae's face was close to hers; his sweet cool breath on her face stirring the strands of her hair just slightly. He wanted to look at her, to memorize every perfect line of her face. But he couldn't keep his hands off of her for long. Her very presence made him feel electrified and only moments later he had entangled his body with hers once more with a fevered need.

As he pulled away to calm himself she looked at him with a drunken delighted smile, her hands caressed his face lovingly as she caught her breath.

But Maddie's need for air was forgotten in a moment as he kissed her again.

She'd longed for contact like this... She had missed more than Vontae himself, she had also missed how he made her feel, what he made her feel.

Returning the kiss eagerly she pressed herself against him as he pulled her closer. The couch made for limited movement, but Maddox slowly turned to straddle him, leaning forward on his bare chest.

Her hands ran over his muscles, her fingers curling softly into his skin every so often. Her fingers moved up to his shoulders and she pulled away with a smile. "Vontae... Can... Can you bite me now... Make me remember what it's like to be with someone so strong... And demanding..." Even the voice in her mind needed breath.

He was absorbed in her smell and her touch, content not to go any farther, content to kiss her and hold her when she shocked him out of it with her question. He stared at her for a moment. She had felt that need to? He had never before been with a mortal female as he was with her. They didn't usually survive the first night. Did she also crave the ecstasy of it? He knew what she felt, at least partly, when he sank his fangs into her skin and drank her blood but he never thought it was a feeling she sought after.

"I don't want to hurt you," he murmured softly. Each time he drank from her, it got easier to stop, but it was never perfect and there was always the chance he could go too far. And he hadn't seen her in so long.

But he didn't say no. Instead, he folded her in his arms and held her close to his chest so that she could gain her breath. And slowly, carefully, he began to kiss her neck feeling that familiar vein pulse beneath his lips, the beat of her heart a bit faster than normal. A low growl escaped his lips unwillingly.

"You smell so good."