(I put it here because this is where I though it went, if it doesn't, please don't rip my head off)

The Vampire Form


Name: Digone Romance

Gender: male

Age: 1596

Apparent Age: Mid 50’s

Place of Birth: South East of England during the Sub-Roman ages

Species: Vampire.

Coven: Independent

Appearance: He is of mid-height and medium build, has black hair with grey patches. He is slightly tanned for a vampire, and stands out in a large crowd of them. Wears all black clothes with a blood-red cape when he is ‘hunting’ and a blue one when he is ‘travelling’. His red capes have various symbols on it to show which coven he is going to attack.

History: During the end of the Roman ages in Brittan, and just before the Saxons came, various slaves were taken back to Rome to become either servants or gladiators. Digone was one of the slaves that were put on the sides for ‘special occasions’. Once all the slaves had been given away, that is when Digone was made for his purpose. Back in Rome once the Sun had gone down and the streets were empty, the vampires came out to play. The leaders of each clan would meet up about once a year, and share a meal together, and unlucky for Digone, he was going to be that meal. He was tortured and bled dry by the leaders that met on such occasion, all sharing his blood around as they all spoke of times now goes. Once day was about to rise, that was when they left Digone laying on the table, shivering, on the verge of death, before the last Vampire to leave took pity on him, and turned him.

As Digone went through the change, his body reacted in various ways as he had been absorbed by all the clans, and gained various traits from all of them. He is able to retract his fangs, like the Enashe, but when they appear, he has double fangs like the Tarepha. Like the Ishak, fire does not affect him as much as it would any other vampire, but he also doesn’t have a reflection, which is rather annoying when you’re around humans. He has to drink live blood daily, but he can walk in distilled sunlight. He also has very slight Telekinesis abilities, such as mind reading and command, but only to humans and young vampires. He doesn’t seem to sleep, however when he dose it is in a coma-like state, he’d probably stay awake for about a week on end before sleeping for a three-day stretch, where he would drink enough to last the period before he drops off to sleep.

When he had enough strength to get out of his cell (mostly by feeding off rats and other, weaker slaves such as him) he ran out into the sunlight and was scorched, giving him his tanned skin. Ever since that day, he has sworn to revile to the world the vampires, and has killed his own kind time and time again in an effort to free the mortal world from this invisible cage. He has been wanted by all the clans and is to be killed on sight unless capture is possible. He lives like the Enashe but hunts like the Tarepha, as sometimes the craving is just too much.

After he had finished with Rome, Digone went back to England and made work on his master plan to blow the Vampire world wide open to the mortal world, unlucky for him, the Amman hasn’t been far behind to clean up the mess. To this day Digone has been a wanted man, not only by the vampires, but the humans as well, as when he kills he leaves the scene wide open to the public, and has a very large bounty on his head.. with the world against him, he still works to make his dream possible.

(Add on to history)

Once he returned to England, it was about this time when the Saxon's came and took over the land. Travelling with them, they began to fund it rather strange that men started to go missing once he had entered the group. They found it rather disturbing that he didn’t age, and had freakish strength, as well as not coming out without being heavily covered in cloaks during the day, and disappearing during the night, wearing different colours, and always soaked in blood when he had returned. He soon left the Saxon horde, and buying land to build a ‘base’ of sorts, where he used the dungeons to sleep in away from the light and attacks from the vampires that were after him.

During the iron ages of the British isles, Digone continued his hunt, and had a large influence over the judging of criminals, and even contributing a large part to Witch hunting during the later ages, knowing the targets they were after and thankfully unknowing to the mortal public his secret identity as one of the scum they hunted.

Naturally people became suspicion of him, as he never grew old, and unknown to anyone else, was now over 1000 years old. He came up with a plan to hide his identity. He had various lovers in his time, which he would use as both wife and a ‘donor’, someone who would give their blood willingly without being turned, but like all mortals, they died off quickly, and pretended to be a relative of himself. One which usually worked is that of a younger brother or son, and would continue this pattern until the Victorian ages, when while trying to gain a new donor, he was betrayed and was attempted to be killed by the very people he protected. He quickly fled to the new land, where new colonies were being created, and where he could easily hide.

Living in silence and peace during the next few centuries, Digone watched as the mortals continued to grow and develop, right until they began fighting each other in civil wars, and even then he stood aside and fed off the injured for food. As the time passed, the vampires began to invade Digone’s newly found home, and his work continued, continuing with his hunting and other work to rid the world of the vermin that had created him.

He has since moved around the north of America and is reaching into Canada, before word got to him that a vast majority of vampires were gaining power in Demaitre, and naturally, where ever the prey go, the predator is surly to follow.

A lot of your basic history sounds correct but there's not nearly enough here to cover 1500 years...add some more explanation and explain what happened after he left Rome. Let's start with that.

thanks, fixed

It looks well done. My only issue is a few minor grammar mistakes....mostly words that were misspelled but are still words so a spell check wouldn't pick them up. Give it a once over for the grammar, but unless any of our notorious historians tell me otherwise, this looks great.

So just do some quick editing and then get back to me. Great job!

right, my computer can't find any, but like you said, its probally because it's words it won't change anyway. if you could just sort of point out various parts where I've gone majorly wrong, it would be a large help, as I can't really see where I've made my mistakes.

[/QUOTE]

Under Appearance I believe. Umm...couldn't find thta one in the dictionary at all...so I'd assume you meant 'coven'...If not, let me know....

Second paragraph of history...the word you want is 'does'...

Third paragraph...I believe 'scorched' is waht you want...

Third Paragraph...simply wasn't sure if that's what you wanted...though I wasn't sure whether it was an error or not.

Last paragraph...the word is prey.

Hopefully that's helpful to you.

thanks, that was a great help, its probally because the english and americans sometimes spell words diffrently.

I made the changes, so hopefully it should be alright now.

(just so you know I mean cell as in prison cell, but I changed it to cage to make it clearer)

thanks again.

Excellent!

Approved!

I'm sorry to do this, but I am revoking Tsuka's approval of this character.

Right. Uh. I'm sorry, but that's just really silly. He'd probably get circle beat by the Tarepha for running around in a cape. Also, the covens don't have "symbols" that could be worn on an article of clothing. Lastly, in factoring this into your proposed history, don't you think that wearing that kind of clothing would make him a nice walking target for the vampires who are after him (which, by your implications, would be all of them)?

Sorry, but, no. The covens or clans did not exist until the early 1500s, as per "The History of Vital Vampires", found here.

Again, no. Only an ancient vampire would be able to run out into the sun and only get scorched and a tan. A fledgling, which is what your character would be at that point in time, would be immediately disintegrated.

Try again. If a rogue vampire were running around killing other vampires, the Amman, or the Amman-type vampires existing at that time, would step in and kill him. He'd be dead after his first kill, no questions asked, and no chance of escape.

Lastely,

I suppose it might be somewhat unclear that this includes vampiric slayers, but I'm going to be clear now and state so.

You have a massive amount of rewriting to do. You are banned from posting until these errors are fixed. You may notify me via PM or e-mail at vital_fluids@hotmail.com when you are finished.

P.S. We're Canadian here, or at least the mods are. Our spelling for words is the same as the English.

P.P.S. Either way, no one spells "probably" "probally", and most have the common sense to capitalize languages, the beginnings of sentences, etc.

P.P.P.S. It’s “Britain”.