1. I still can't solve Friday's quick crossword in the Guardian. [Buttercup relative 4,2, 1, 4)
2. Popular singer Will Young has bought a house next to the New Europe Hotel.
3. I think the man behind me in the internet cafe is a paedo. I shouted out "pervert" and it seemed to shut him up.
4. I prefer pineapple juice.
Good night.

1. Love in a mist.

In his vodka.

Pineapple juice is very nice.

Why would Will Young buy a place in Brighton? :huh:

:o Straight?!?

Appalling.

You drink bent pineapple juice?!? :o

:lol:

This is what i'm running on...smooth and mellow, as they boast and brag on the bottle. :unsure:

That Pineapple juice looks more like the colour of piss

I've just discovered fresh Pineapple (it's taken me long enough; I live near The Tradescant trust, named after John Tradescant, who introduced pineapples to England; the nearest pub is called The Pineapple, and Lambeth bridge has pineapples on it).
Pineapples, the juciest of fruits.

On Hercules Road? I used to drink in there. Not a bad boozer, apart from the off-duty coppers from Kennington nick.

1. Someone has lost a cat. It has a "distinguishing grey paw", apparently.
2. "Josh is sexy" - I can not verify this, but someone has written it on a wall.
3. The people who run this internet cafe can not spell "responsible".
4. They also clearly think this place is a den of thieves, judging from the message stuck to this computer.

Steal the message!

He has a distinguishing grey paw, but I wouldn't call him sexy.

That's the title of an old Marianne Faithfull album. :P



I've never liked the cover. It's always been a black and white cover photo, when the shirt she's wearing is clearly a multi-colored silk shirt intended to be bright and colorful. And would it've killed someone to have it pressed after they took it out of the package? You can't miss all the ugly the creases and wrinkles where it was folded. Also, it's is too big for her, and it hides her figure. Why did they cut her off at the legs? She's wearing the shirt like a mini-dress just so you could see her legs, and they cut them off. Bad, bad, bad.

:mellow: you prefer pineapple juice... to what?

Marianne Faithfull's legs. :P

1. I fancy the man sitting next to me.

2. Don't think he's interested.

The new position of my desk at the office makes it harder to spend the day on the FOF.

In Japan, there's a movie about a girl with a machine gun in her anus and it's causing quite a stir on the FOF.

Pictures of the girl with a machine gun in her anus cause uncomfortable discussions with co-workers who walk by your desk.

Apologies for that. If it is any help, the Machine Girl was explicitly made for the American market, and came out there many months before it was released in Japan - it'll be available at any big store near you with an Asian DVD section. Perhaps you could counter your colleagues concern with the fact that machine guns in anuses are nothing new in Japan, and go back at least to Astro Boy in 1963.

Yes. I was in there on Saturday night.

1. Mullberry Wines is now - technically - called Mullberry.
2. The blonde woman in Mulberry - not Mullberry Wines, no sirree - now calls me "love".
3. So does the woman in the internet cafe, that's bonding for you.
4. The paedo is not here today.

Yes he is, that's why he's had his computer taken away by the authotities and now has to rely on seedy internet cafe's to get his kicks. :devil2: :whistle:

Against my better judgment, I recently began to find one of the women in Mulberry (Wines) quite attractive. I imagined a brief courtship followed by marriage and possibly two or three bonny children.

Until one day last week she wore a top with a low-cut back, and when she turned round I got a load of the hideous tattoo that covers her entire neck and shoulders.

Our wedding plans are henceforth in abeyance.

This internet cafe is not - technically - seedy. Zoot has been here.

Which one? The buxom wench who left "to spend time with my children"? I loved her.

No, I remember her. She was hilarious.

The one I mean is... well, if you could temporarily imagine being heterosexual, she is the one whom you would find a bit sexy-ish.

I'm trying...
Nope. No good.
They're all either blonde and rough or... dyed blonde and old, no?
I love them all though.
Except for that old supercilious patronising witch.

what's the tattoo of?

I don't intend to get close enough to find out.

It is of Jade Goody in heaven praying with the angels above.

Sort of El Greco like?

They were talking about Jade Goody the last time I was in there.

One of them had a newspaper open and was reading aloud from it, while the others listened attentively.

You don't make jokes about Jade Goody in Mulberry (Wines).

That sort of thing, yeah.

hasty. it provides a perfect intro: "what an interesting-looking tattoo... what is it?... i bet you get a lot of attention at the beach... what? you haven't been in ages?... well, the weather's looking up, how about we go down there after you finish?... well as it happens i have a few bikinis at my place"

May god bless her racist soul. And the lately bereaved violent thug, Jack, also. :cry2:

Nor in my office, as I found out to my shame. She's a heroine and an example to us all, apparently.

"And, yes Dawn, it would be a brilliant idea to build a statue in memory of her". Erm...I was joking actually.

if you want to get that promotion then i think it may be time for a discreet and tasteful jade goody tattoo

Talking of tattoos.....wasn't A Worried Man thinking of getting one once?

Come on, AWM. Spill......

I have a nice tattoo. It is by Jean Cocteau. On my left arm.