Vaj sticks.

:)

fuck stump

:)

i'm sorry. i'm bored at work.

:zzzz:

i thought a bit of gratuitous swearing would liven things up a bit.

arsecakes

:)

I like "Buggery Bollocks" and "Fuckity Fuck" myself.

inspired by my workday so far:

godverdoemme se kloten aap - godammit that bollock-monkey
apekop - monkey's head
kloot - bollock
zakkenwassers - people who wash bags
klotezeikers - bollock-pissers
pishol - piss hole

Fanny features
Shit cunt.
Fuckwit
Long streak of piss
Fuck face
Bollock chops
Cunt ugly munt face

are just some of the names I've been called...

bollock chops

cock hole

fucking ballsacks

"You fucking fuck."
And then, if they still take no notice; "You stupid fucking fuck."
And then, if they still don't take any notice - the old classic; "Oh, just fuck off and die, you stupid fucking fuck."

You just can't beat "cunting fuckpig" in my experience.

I have found that if you are fed up of being pestered by phone at work by internal calls screaming YOUREAHELMETANDYOUSMELLOFPISS at the next person who rings, stops you being bothered quite so often.

Also barking like a dog works too, but no swearing involved in that of course.

FUCKPIG! Well done, Capps.
Surely, the greatest invention of the english language?

If people call me "nasty names" in the street, which sometimes happens around closing time in Brighton, I've found the best retort is to shout out; "I've fucked your dad!"
Quite flummoxes the little rascals...

Fuckshitwanker

Darn it

"Your Mum!" - i still don't know why this was considered insulting at school...

Sperm guzzling donkey fucker.

I heard an actor (John Sessions) break down after forgetting his lines for the umpteenth time..."Oh, you auschwitzing cunter!" That was better than the line he was struggling to deliver.

Wrong thread, Zoot.
These are meant to be insults.

That was actually used once, in Sounds magazine. Not surprisingly, it led to a lawsuit.

Who was the sperm-guzzling donkey-fuckerphobe who sued?

I feel a boycott coming on. Look what happened to Jason Donovan.

You,
,
,
,
you,
,
,
Capo.

I've told you before, I can only respond to insults which are written in intelligible English.

People are so over-sensitive these days...

goat felcher

"Failed hairdresser". That was used in Kerrang! magazine. That also led to a lawsuit -- and a huge payout and an apology.

The problem for Sounds!, I imagine, was in proving the act of sperm "guzzling". Surely this requires quantities of semen that can only be accrued through some kind of cum-syndicate and highly developed systems of spunk storage - an operation like this which didn't leave some sort of "sperm trail" is inconceivable and I think a jury would agree.

So, you think fucking donkeys is okay?
How modern!
x

Fuck 'em or

Fuck it.

:)

cunting fucknuts

:)

Far
Cough
Yak
Hunt.

I have a t-shirt with this on.

"A case which rests on the testimony of an ass, is no case at all!" As the famous legal adage goes.

cocknuggets

I've got an old Billy Connolly VHS from when he was funny. You know, long black t-shirt, black leggings and those weird slingback shoes... And one he comes out with on there always springs to mind in tense situations:

"Jesus sufferin' fuck"

But said in a broad glasgow council estate accent. I've never heard it anywhere other than that video but it cracks me up.

It's the way he tells 'em.

"tongue my shitter"

the one where he's explaining the beauty of the word fuck and how it serves its purpose so well.

the fact that 'go away' just doesnt have the same impact as "FUCK OFF".

Can you fucking get it together instead of just showing off!

Off topic, but I also like the bit about when he was at school he thought that "Woe betide" was the name of a boy:

"Woby Tide, the boy who plays football instead of doing his homework"

"Fucking good auld Woby that's whit ah say. I'd like ta meet this Woby, he sounds like mah kinda guy"

That's a great show actually, considering. Live in.... Live in.... Well, it's Live in somewhere anyway.