Instead I'm here with Father duckpin, Bishop Buy Kurious, Cardinal Zoot, Pope Stephen, Brother Stranger, Preacher Deej, Sister Stuart, Mother Faust, and Dojo Graeme.

What is today's sermon?

:confused:

Today's sermon is from The Book of Monk. Yay, those whomsoever clingeth to thy scales - be it lydian or myxolodian or whatsoever - rise and be healed. The Man Monk who walketh as a mortal did proveth decades ago that ye shall be free to hit any note in any chord progression in any key; so cast into outer darkness the scales and gnash thy teeth no longer: Thou art free to play any note in any song[provideth certain passing tones precede the heretofore offending note][this offer void where prohibited]. :lol:

Brother Frederick, ye have sinned. Ye must place a large donation in the shiny silver collection plate or ye shall fail to enter the kingdom of heaven. Choose ye wisely from coins of ye large denomination or ye crisp notes. We regret we do not take ye American Express.

Pontif Exo will be speaking about the perils of hallucinogens in sex clubs. But it's still Saturday here...

My personally run church is an ecumenical one: We welcome all demoninations. Our particular favorite is the $100 bill. ^_^

I'm wailing like a banshee... ^_^

I'm not surprised that the Cardinal has his hand out already. -_-

That'll be a pretty empty sermon then, wont it. ;)

The restoration of ye church roof does not come cheaply. May it please the congregation to give up all their worldly goods.

worldly goods? for a church? for a cult, sure; but, not for a church. What kind of cult is it anyway? and will I not have to think cuz it hurtz by brane. Be advised, many of my worldly goods consist of maxed-out credit cards but that's OK with me if it's OK with the cult. Selah.

Yes hymns from Bringing in the Sheaves to Adeste Fidelis will benefit from Fred II's mighty baritone singing new and heartfelt notes not handed down from our forefathers and -mothers....the priest may even note a sharp intake of funds and personal asides for more sermon and less hymning....but FredII will not be detered and instead of the bishops mitre will wear the bopper beret.

It will be a long wait...

In the meantime, I'm sure the good Lord will provide for all ur needs.

Anymore, yes. Aaahh for the (thank god it's over) 90's, when the Fall generally sucked, and I...

Yet in inscrutable ways, I've gotten weirder....

(the last clean dirty shirt???)

The Ten Commandments

1. Thou shalt wear hotpants
2. Thou shalt learn dance routines
3. Any suggestions?

Do any of the other ministers possess miraculous healing skills, because Brother Graeme is really unwell today.

Here's some Pink Lady apples for you, cos an apple a day keeps the Dktr away...

Haha, top one :lol:

Not surprisingly, this is a brand of apples I feel strangely drawn to whilst in Tescos. Sadly, being diabetic, I have to avoid Candies.

Sister Stuart? :unsure:

How did you know?

Ye good 'ol Lordy decided to smite me mightily and send plague and pestilence to mine self.

I know of no sin that is yet to be unpunished.

Much sleepiness, coughing, aches and fever decended upon my body.

Accompanied by the twin imps of melancholy and nostalgia.

Four days and nights have been spent in the wilderness of unholy poorliness.

Much ingestion of the holy sacraments cannabis and tea were reverentially observed.

very sorry to learn of your discomfiture; best wishes for a speedy cessation of symptoms. Sounds like you're treating it properly. Beware of nostalgia, a pestlience in its own right.

As a practising Pastafarian, I have been paying alcoholic homage to the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER, who NO-ONE can prove DOESN'T exist.

We are alighned to the C of E, in that neither con-GREGS (geddit, Fred?) have to go to church!! :)

Ramen to that!!

Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

Yeah, there's too much doodling and not enough noodling.

My contribution to the sermon would be to warn against the perils of bashing said bishop....
You'll go blind, young man,,, etc, etc....

Continued...

3. Thou shalt worship Star Wars on the grounds that it is great material for euphemisms - "You're a little short for a Stormtrooper", "I don't care what you smell, get down there", and my favourite, "You came in that thing...you're braver than I thought" - and for NO OTHER REASON.

I'd always be afraid to have to sit next to Nick Cave. He looks as if he smells.

And he might give you away with a comment on it like.

He would!! They're very egalitarian those Aussies. They just don't care. They all think they're the boy next door for gosh sakes!!
Not my fault I don't surf to get rid of my fruity odours. I'm a Charlie, me.

Just adjusting the dog collar. Tasty black/white combo.

My sins are beyond absolution.

All are welcome today except the Bushell of Horse shit.