I've lived in my house for 12 years now and experienced 4 different neighbours. None of them fit into the category of a normal neighbour (i.e. English family with two kids). (We only have neighbours to our left, the entrance to the cul de sac is to our right)

Current Neighbours

An extended family of very pleasant people of Asian origin currently occupy the house next door. But not all of the time and not the same people. It seems to be "an extra house" for various people in the family to cook in, watch TV in, have a party in etc. A middle Aged woman seems to be there most but not always and we speak to her on a regular basis. Alternatively there is an older couple that visit by car, a very old guy who walks to it from somewhere, and some young blokes that watch the cricket on a massive TV and drink beer, and a younger woman with children sometimes turns up.

Previous Neighbours

Strange family with three kids and countless cars and motor bikes. Always mucking about with some form of transport on the drive or in the garage. Wife looked more like a man than the husband. Would alternate between talking to you and blanking you.

Previous Neighbours

Lovely courteous Japanese family but who couldn't speak a word of English

Previous Neighbours

Elderly Mother and grown up Daughter living together. Seemed Ok at first but then proceeded to lecture us about the health risks of mobile phones whenever we saw her. Had an obese grand-daughter that visited occasionally that my daughter spent some time with but she was odd (hard to describe why - not to do with her weight - just strange mannerisms)


Anyway.

tell me your neighbours are just as weird.

The house next door to me is supposed to be empty but I suspect there are elves in there.

Renting or squatting I'm not sure.

Next to them...middle aged couple no kids. Bloke is nervous as hell, she's lovely and friendly. Neither seem to work as always about. Local drug dealer spotted popping in and out.

Am twitching the "nets" as we speak and will report back later on any developments.

my downstairs neighbour is a chronic alcoholic who I regularly find collapsed on the floor outside his front door, key in hand, or occasionally urinating in the stair well. He is sublettng his flat. I know this because he often bangs on his own front door and bellows 'open the door! its me your landlord'. I live in a housing association block, and so he clearly isn't the owner of the property. He's not very pleasant, and I have sometimes thought of dobbing him into the HA for subletting.

Still, thats Belgravia for you.

Benefit fraud. ;)

There used to be people next to us who were like that. Constantly shifting permutations of family members, relatives, friends, visitors etc. It was like a social club: a nightmare to live next to, because of course hardly any of them actually lived in that house, so they didn't give a toss about whether the neighbours were suffering.

Once or twice the postman delivered their mail to us by mistake. There were over a dozen letters addressed to different names. Definite benefit fraud going on.

We should have shopped them, I realise now, and I wish we had.

hmmm...

to my right a mad old woman whose daughter looks like she's on drugs and whose back garden is full of shit.

To my left a nice retired couple who are friendly but I secretly suspect them of devil worship, like in Rosemary's Baby.

Downstairs is an odd one, never plays any music ever. I fed his cat for a while and he's got about six cd's in total. He's about 30 with a girlfriend, plays golf and football I think, and computer games. But the music thing bugs me. How can anyone not like any music at all, I have met people before whose interest was minimal but they did still blast something out now and again. It's odd isn't it?

He also does not tie up his bin bags when he puts them in the dustbin. Mad I tell you.

I don't think so!

These people all have cars less than 3 years old. Honda's, Merc's. BMW's etc. We're talking serious money.

I honestly think they are rich enough to buy the 4 bed house next door as a spare house, though we don't ask or anything.

Wot I mean , Abnormal.

Quiet, retired ladies on either side. Think I'm lucky compared to some fellow msg boarders.....

You aught to mind your own business. ;)

When he slams his fucking door all the time and pisses in the stairwell it is my fucking business.


Don't take it personal, like.

I'm not.

Noohh!

Can't you get just a bit offended?

Only if you grass me up. :lol:

Funnily enough i did get grassed up once years and years ago by a scorned exgirlfriend.


I was doing a bit of building work nothing grand 2 or 3 days a week , i did it for the benefit of experience more than money.

I got this letter requesting my presence at the social. And i totaly bluffed the silly cow who interviewed me. :lol:

I said i was sat in a pub one afternoon and this guy came in all flustered he said his mate had buggered off and left him in the lurch. as a favour i offered to help him out for the remainder of the day.

When the benefit lady asked whether i recieved payment i said no but the guy took me out that night to the pub and bought all my drinks by way of thanks.

There was nothing she could do ! Where does it say that you cant help out your brethrens in a b4 form ?

In the flat above the one where my wife and I used to live the man and his (much older) ladyfriend would always have shouted conversations with each other from different rooms. I wrote out quite a long list of quotes from their conversations which I may use in my (soon to be published) memoirs. Here's a couple of them.
"You can tell that's your cat because it's fucking stupid and it pisses everywhere" :(
"Them downstairs, what you think of them downstairs? I think they're not cunts probably" :( :(

I've just watched Neighbours and everyone in that's very dysfunctional (but outstandingly attractive in many cases).

I hope you're serious about the memoirs. Put me down for a copy. That second quote alone will be worth the purchase price.

:lol: I bet that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about you.

Now I live in a terrace, back to back as it were, so I am aware of the people behind me.

I used to have a fag in the kitchen and over the course of a few months saw them split up. It got very nasty at the end. It was pretty clear they had nothing in common, but still it was sad. I expect they are better of now, but you know what I mean.

The couple on the other side seem very much in love though, which is nice. Lots of hugging and kissing.

I'm not spying on these people btw :lol: , the houses are just very close together.

My Ballon: the neighbourhood watch. :lol:

You see a couple though and you wonder what's going on behind the curtains. Like the vibe from Blue Velvet, hidden secrets and so on. On the whole though people don't seem happy, or at the very least have settled for being comfortably numb.

Like my old neighbours, again in a terrace, you could hear them argue quite often, but never any laughter, or any signs of fun. I really didn't see why they were together, they couldn't be happy.

It's lovely when you get an old couple though who are obviously still in love.

:lol: This is the funniest thread!

I myself have lovely neighbours, they mind their own business! :nahnah:

It's 15:16: No sign of the neighbour to my left, but then she's a quiet sort; don't see her much. Hold on....the couple on the other side are having something delivered. Can't see what it is. Looks expensive though!

I might go out to get a closer look. Will let you know what I find.

P.S. Her son's having difficulties with his wife of 5 years. I'll see what I can find out on that front while I'm at it and report back....

They're having a plush new bath fitted. All's well on the son front which is good, though I couldn't help noticing how they've let the rhododendrans go a bit.

Normal neighbours, yes; but I wonder if they'd say the same about me??? :unsure:

Agreed. There is a lethargy in this country...poor food, appalling TV etc etc. Right, that said, I'm off for my afternoon nap. :D

Now you know how I could see you on the Bearded Mona Lisa thread neighbour. :)

I like to stand in the window naked in the afternoons

A naked balloon would be just air wouldn't it? :confused:

My new avatar is a neighbourly wave. :)

"And like that he was gone. Underground. Nobody has ever seen him since. He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night. "Rat on your pop, and My Balloon will get you."

Shame your neighbours disagree.

All is quiet round my way. Upstairs used to argue...seem to have stopped. Girls next door used to sing along to poxy music...also stopped. I rarely if ever see these people...wouldn't recognise them in the street. Nothing much happens 'round here. Silence most of the time.

Mrs Bradx isn't knocking them off is she? :unsure:

Yeah, it's like Rear Window in reverse. bradx lies on the sofa, plastered. They scrutinise the neighbours through binoculars, windows etc. then Mrsx pops out ...

heh heh you boys been reading my diary???

Actually you're both wrong. They have a cat. They lower the cat in a basket. The cat enters through a neighbour's window. The cat is packed solid with industrial-strength explosives...

The neighbours are all fairly decent. I live on a terrace with 13 houses. I'm on good terms with everybody but for a couple of houses. One of these is being done up either by the people who will live in it, or the people who have bought it to sell it on at a profit. They seem friendly, but the constant hammering, drilling and chiselling is getting up my nose a bit. They are two doors up the street.

Two doors down the street lives a fairly harmless pillock, but a pillock none the less. He has a REALLY LOUD VOICE AND EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T REALISE IT HE SHOUTS EVEN WHEN HE IS CONVERSING NORMALLY. He also sings along to Ibiza style 'anthems' at the top of his voice (to disagree with My Balloon, having no interest in music at all can be quite a good thing) and he hangs England flags out of his bedroom window whenever The Sun tells him to.

My recently moved in next door neighbour is a decent sort of egg, but usually has his telly on too loud and it can drive me to distraction.

Yep, I'm definitely the weirdest neighbour on our street. :)

Our cat sadly died 2 weeks back :( V upsetting. He was more than a cat if you know what I mean. He was pretty old but it was a shock when he went. It was v sudden. One minute he was fine - and then he just got pretty ill and had to be put down. Grim it was.
Perhaps the neighbours are being quiet in respect?

Neighbourly shenanigans? Nah, probably is living in the wrong house...wrong street...wrong

Oh no... :(

Maurice R.I.P.

My commiserations to you and Mrsx.

Sorry to hear that :(

Will you get another one?

Umm...no. Our flat is not great for a cat. It was ok for Maurice as he was 16 and he didn't like going out anymore. He was a superb sleeper. He just stayed in and kept us company. I still can't believe he's gone.

Cheers GM and Zoot :)