The forum was a good place to go
but then it did go

Oh No!!!

so we all

took a sabbatical
with time out from the forum fanatical

I was shocked to find
That in my time online
My family had grown
From two kids to Nine!

On the first day I suffered
As I coughed and spluttered
On the second day I tried
to log on nearly 57 times.

It was a terrible mess
life with no forum address.

My dreams were visitations
of Ursula Andress

and a Swedish air hostess

It was then I knew that my mind had gone
and I turned to Conway and asked "how long?"

Vvillager was hit by a tsunami
All Ct could say was PM me

Divvey tried to brew his own
while bradx spent some time at home

Came in so glibfully unaware
ribbons of typewriters in my karzey
Name dropping is eluding me here
Except Bradx, RedDanDoc, Big Mac and Fred 2 BSc

Dancing with my keyboard
All around this well swept room
Got droptackled in MacCafe
By Ron MacDonald's intrusive broom

Screamed "I love the Mighty Fall"
So leave me the fuck alone
The clown said stop complaining then
"Log off and piss off home!!"

In my defense I entreat
your writer didn't eat the alleged food
and noted everyone around me
looked like extras off Cronenberg's "Brood"

I slunk away like real slick
(still out of context with the going site rhyme)
but i have a dead clown on a broomstick
to show i had a real McTime!!

slinky slinky
everyone loves the slinky
so smooth and kinky
that sexy little slinky

It walked down stairs
Of its own slinky volition.
Dad said " a piece of rubbish"
" It's destruction is my mission".

Then he did step
On my slinky friend
Oh how he did enjoy
To watch that slinky bend

Now I'm with my slinky
His life it did not end
He just sits there all day
My slinky is on the mend

and slinky
was winky, what should I think
eeh?

And then appeared tinky winky
But his face was that of Hanley's
He picked his nose with his pinky
And ran over to celebrate with the others

A member made reference to another's
mother
whille other onlookers all ran fer
cover
and some moaned about renditions of
Over!
Over!

But then all fell silent in the speckled night
Starry, nippled, hottness full of awed delight
When a gnarled face peered out the twilight gloom
It was MES, speeding, looking for a cheap shit room

stumbled upon a travel inn, newly complete
booked the cheapest room they had and grabbed a bit to eat
made his way up to his room, eyes sunk deep into his face
threw open the door and vomited all over the place

the beer
the fear
but where was the cheer?

The Fall,has Cool,,A Crazy Beat,
So Sweet,Your Feet,,Tapping all night,
The Tight,Delight,,Never the Same,
Refrain,Exclaimed,,Spoken in Code,
The Mode,Explodes,,Guitar set Free,
The Speed,The Need,,Do Tell of Its,
Musical Good Points,,TOo Many to LiSt,
Myriad Vibrant,,PoP ANarChIsT,,
is Baghdad,StaY CoG,,CoG AnaLI sT,,
Guest informant----

the cheer?
not here

I hear.

How queer
In an Allan Bennett Northern English quaint way.

A voice in this room,its not the radio,
must be the wind whistleing on the patio,
Check the fridge for a bottle of beer,
full of empties,and a strange looking bug,
The cheer,not here,coz he was all aloney,
Then out of the hotels closet,stepped colonel boggs Maroley,!!!!
.
Ive been a fan for many a year,

many a year??
many a year????


Up the cheers mister.


but where is the cheer

I'm only here for the beer


when you want good beer make the V sign
'cos V's the sign you want a pint of Vaux

so Mr Boggs Maloney,il say to you adioo,
unless you have about your person,
a drink to close the verse on.
otherwise ill have to ask you to depart,
and ill get off down the offy,an fill me shopping cart,
not waiting for an answer,he ambles down the hall,
the front man of the mighty mighty Fall,
.
wait about a bit,Ive get me silver flask,

..from my opvask,

for a pint I'd ask
from the number one cask.
To help me in my task, writing poems in the forum, I do bask.

Not quite as Rask,
not parading in a mask,
but carrying a hask for supplies to my NASK
..............
I hear the sound of the side-winder,

...that's gone with the wind

A call goes up for the child-minder

with voodoo doll, thrice pinned...

Welcome thee, alpha Romeo
amid rock songs of jest
To my new home in L.A., oh
I thought it'd sure be the best

After hearing your song sir
backed by your Yank girl at the time
I thought I should hanker
To city angels before swine

But the voodoo doll awakened
and took me in its sleep
I am now a lone spectre
Whose yarbles are now in deep

But how could I know then
When John Peel disapproved
That your Nations Grace script pen
Would leave me invisible and nude