Somthing went wrong and this turned out to be the worst and last christmas for me ever...

I may have told you that I use this time for reflection... I did alot of that today...

My girlfriend left me about 5 days ago... All my friends removed me from their phones and number lists, because of somthing I did to one of them... I've been real depressed latly, so I've been taking Anti-depressants like M&Ms... My cousin moved out on her own...

And to top it all off, my docter told me I have a Rare bone cancer that is hard to treat and it's possiable I might die... The kicker is I can't afford to treat it, and I know no one who has the money to help me...

My docter told me with out treament, and because it spead so much thoughout my body, I have aproxamently 3 months to live...

I guess I won't be on much after you read this... I feel I've really wasted my life, and their is nothing I can do to make it seem better since I can't afford it... I will spend the rest of my life staying out of people's way when I am in my wheelchair...

Oh my gosh... I hardly know what to tell you. I am so sorry...

I can't beleive it... That's so sad... I feel sorry for you. I hope you recover, and however unlikely you make it seem, I will be praying for you. I wish you well.

Oh my Lord. That's very depressing. I hope you will be alright, but try to make the best of those three months man... I really hope things will be better than that. But, if you die I really hope it won't be that painful. Gee, I feel so bad for you. Well, I hope that you make a good time if you really are going to be leaving us.

:( Man, i dont know what to say :( Can i suggest getting a bank loan? or mabe getting more then just one person to help pay for it? I'm soory man. :(

I could ask my parents but I have not talked to them since I left their house when I was 19... That's two whole years that we have not talked because I said some stuff that I didn't mean to say... I told them I didn't care to see them anymore and they said the same...

I fear that If I call them and ask for help it would feel weird or they may hang up on me...

This many sound strange, but if you call it could save your life. And you relationship with your parents.

damn man... i'm speechless... not even some smart@$$ remark to imbue some type of anti- negative feeling into this....

Oh my gosh... this just reminds me of how unfair this world can be. A lot of friends of my parents have died this month and last month. Now this... I have to say that Dvader is one of the most important members here. I just wish there was something I could do to save you. When someone dies I just feel like there was something more I could do. :( :mellow: :unsure: :ph43r:

All we can do is pray. I just feel so bad for you. That is really... oh, my....

What if we opened up something in which we send money to try and help him? I would send everything I have, but I am not able to for reasons too complicated to explain. How much would it cost, anyways?

I'm tearing up as I type this...this is bad. I do wish we could send him the money, but I don't really have any to spare. Dude, this is heavy man. I know this isn't a joke, but I wish Mr. Deeds would come in right now.

...I hate cancer. My grandmother died from it. I can't even start to believe what your feeling. Dang, this totaly brought my night to a halt. I got on to see if I could download something, and get this. I'm glad you told us though. I think it would be very odd if you just turned up missing, and we never know what happened... Oh man, Im starting to cry, and that doesn't happen very often.

My prayers are with you, and hey, don't "try to stay out of people's way in your wheelchair", do something! Try something you never did before, live life to the best, and keep your head held high. A handicap, or cancer, shouldn't ever damage your pride. Don't let this get to you, make something out of it.

*"Live like you were dying" starts playing*

Sorry, but that popped into my head when I said above paragraph. God bless you, Dvader.

I really feel bad for you... I don't want to sound like a wise guy either. If you die, I guess we won't really know either... :( I wish you well

Okay, seriously, I know the situation with your parents is awkward, Dvader0086, nor do I know how much money your parents have, or even if it would be enough, but you seriously can't live without at least talking to them. What kind of parents would not want to help their children, no matter what or how old they are!? They might give you the money to help you , but even if not, you should at least call or see them to inform them of the current situation. This really tears me up.

I think you can get money or something from Make a Wish. Man, I just want you to know that you were a BIG part of this forum and it won't be the same without you. I'm sorry that I could not teach you japanese, as I don't know it all myself. I suggest, you take a trip there, since you wanted to go so bad. Live your life to the fullest and may God help you through your trials. just know that you will be blessed and will be in the highest level of heaven.

Holy sh**......I can't believe this.... :(

I'm so sorry.

You admit that you said some things you didn't mean to say to your parents. Perhaps they said some things that they didn't mean to say as well. Your parents are only human, after all. Humans often get blinded by their pride, especially during arguments. I think you should try to call them. Apologize for what you did so you don't have to live the rest of your life with this guilt on your shoulders.

Don't give up. You might not have enough money, but I'm sure there are ways you can get this treatment. Search for organizations or something that help people in your situation.

I hope things get better for you.

You know, I read Dvader's second post right now. I am also finishing up the movie "Home Alone", and in there a similar situation happened. The old man didn't want to call his son for fear that he might hang up. Kevin told him even if he did, it would be better than not knowing if he was still angry at him or not. Call them, the dust might have settled by this time, and nothing can stop the world for a parent more than the death of their child.

Home alone eh? I don't think I ever watched it...

As for calling my parents, I did call the last number I had... I left a message on their voice mail...

I am too, very torn up about it...

Oh Dvader.... :(

When it rains, it pours. Someone told me this glass is full metaphor when things like this happen. Sometimes your glass is too full, sometimes you just have to put it down for a while and pick it back up when you can. When a lot of stuff is coming down on me, I just try and deal with one thing at a time, day to day. I don't know. I kind of think it helps to be optimistic in life.. but at the same time there's always the realization that anything can change at any second. Visualize, dream, hope, and have intentions...but don't deny your sad times, and don't over-inflate the good ones. Live with the constant knowledge that life is fleeting and brief, and feel every feeling to it's fullest.

A family friend of ours was diagnosed with ovarian cancer a month after she lost everything in Hurricane Katrina. She was given 3 months to live. Her reaction was to continue living as much as she could, take her medicine and go through the treatments. She ignored the negative crap and focused on what was in her control, like working and friends and such. Although, she has now relapsed, she had been living cancer free up until this summer. She too could not pay for the cancer treatment, but was given full treatment (even a live-in nurse) for free through I believe Hospitals of America. I know there are a lot of other programs out there that give free treatment too... you should definitely look into them.

Also, I would definitely get in touch with your parents. A lot can change in two years. They're your parents, and I bet they love you more than you'll ever know. Someone's got to be able to get you a loan or something....

You can't make your own luck but you can work as hard as you can at the things you love and give yourself the best chance for them to succeed. I hope you find your way out of the darkness and I wish you a fruitful recovery, emotional, physical, or whatever you need.

Strong words of wisdom... Heed them well.

keep in mind that doctors arn't always correct. My uncle had a massive heart attack, and blew out his whole back side of his heart. a whole in his heart there was. They gave him 1 to 3 months to live. He died of another heart attack 20 years afterwards. Doctors are not always right. Also my mother said they must treat you. Its illegal for them not to. (It may not go for were your at though :( ) But the point is that doctors tell you a guess, and people get so consumed by it that they think they will 100% die in that month. I sugest coming to PA and getting the treatment done ;) .

Ok, I was doing some research, and I found this number. 1-800-4-CANCER (1-800-422-6237); TTY at 1-800-332-8615.

Perhaps you can call that number and ask questions about free treatment and the sort.

I second what everybody else has said. There are many organizations that are out there to help people in your situation. Have you heard back from your parents yet?

I'm speechless.

I dunno what to say.

Sorry, man...you're a great member, and I'd hate to lose you.

Yes Richie, I heard back from my parents... They are paying for me to come home this christmas... I have to fly to Michigan... Then they said they would help me with my treatment...

I may post on here more often now that I am getting treatment, that is if I don't feel too weak and have to stay in bed...

Thank you all for your concern... Have a Merry Christmas!

*Sighs in relief* That very good news. :)

Yay! I cannot express my joy without posting 6,438 :D smileys, but I think that would overload the post. :D :D :D :D

I'm glad things are working out! Do you feel better now?

<3 DVADER! HOORAAY!!!!

Yep I can honestly say I do... Thanks for the Ideas guys...

Don' mention it.

But thank god that you called them. I really think that was the best.
Hope your treatment (well, that might be a ways off) goes well, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2 more days...

Very glad to hear that you heard from them. I hope your treatment goes well, and that you recover soon!

Merry Christmas!

Thank goodness. Here's to Dvader! :approve: (If I remembered how to say that in Japanese, I would have added that in too.)

Thank goodness. I hope you can recover.

That's good you're getting the treatment. You are still pretty young, so I hope you recover.

Ok, I got a laptop for christmas so I can go on the internet and keep in touch with my friends...

I wish you all A Happy New Year!

I start therapy tomarrow...

Wow, a laptop! Hope you get wifi somewhere around there.
well, your starting your treatment? well, not the treatment but preparing for it...
good news, verry good news.

I tried sam 'n max: Hit the Road yesterday. Man, loose language, but hey, all in good fun. I also saw a few clips from the tv show. I think I know why you like it.

Well, back on track, have you talked to your cuz? She kinda, well, left ya know? And Mr. Deeds was a pretty good person seemed like....

Sorry, this is off topic, but I have a problem with Wi-Fi laptops. I see that they can be used in a perfectly innocent way, but anytime I see like, McDonalds advertising it's Wi-Fi. I can only think of creepy sweaty otaku's going into the bathroom stalls and using the Wi-Fi and look at hentai or something. Ugh.

(BTW sweaty otaku is a term Allen and I use to describe the perverted, hentai obsessed subsection of Otaku's. They are one reason why I took of the word Otaku from my title.)

:mellow: Well, thats one way of lookin at it, but I would never take my laptop into a public restroom.