(Edit: Beep... Beep... Crash...)

Knowing a Rock and a Hard Place.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Golden Sun games, or anything I quote at the start of a chapter.

"Yesterday I got so old
I felt like I could die.
Yesterday I got so old
It made me want to cry."
The Cure, 'Inbetween Days'

Chapter 1: Mineral Water

For exactly the six thousandth, three hundred and second time, Alex thought back to the last few words he'd been left with. So if the world swallowed him, he might die? Who'd have thought? True, he had considered himself immortal and invincible for a few seconds, with good reason, but from the next few moments of fear and panic up until now, circumstances had only made this memory increasingly unbearably bitter. Why warn him, anyway, of the trap it had prepared when it was too late to keep that fact from being etched into every empty second for half a century now, and presumably the rest of his existence? That… rock… It was pure cruelty.

Even now, Alex was still surprised whenever his hatred for Vale's guardian surpassed all previous intensity. It had happened thousands of times, though it was the only thing that made him despair too deeply to finish counting exactly. He sometimes tried to stop himself counting every similar thought so morbidly, or noting how every second built up into hours, days and years, but he inevitably picked it up again each time. After all, these were hardly the most depressing distractions available. If he were still a basic human, Alex was sure his emotions alone would be enough to kill him, but the only limitless power he seemed to have received was how to consciously bear limitless torture.

Reaching his life's goal had been pure bliss. Few people ever obtained mediocre goals like fame and fortune, while fewer still really accomplished anything, perhaps by founding a town, winning a war or naming a continent. As one of the last descendants of the ancient Mercury Clan, Alex knew all about how the world had lost its magnificence. His first clue had been his first view of Mercury Lighthouse, the graceful tower, blue as the sea and sky behind it, making the thatched huts of Imil look strangely pathetic in comparison. He'd known Mercury Lighthouse since… Since a time he no longer remembered. Probably the day he was born.

Alex did remember his first time inside. He'd been five, following his grandmother through the glowing doorway for his first lesson in Psynergy, with that girl Mia, six then, following too. They'd both enjoyed their chance to practice forming little mists and droplets in those otherworldly halls. Mia had been glad to leave by the end, though, getting homesick after barely half an hour. Alex had only wanted to see more. As soon as he'd learned Ply, Alex would set off whenever he could get away from the busy village unnoticed, enduring the (then) long and tiring fifteen minute walk to the lighthouse. Each time, he would make the doorway glow, climb as high as he could, then wander through the corridors, always stopping in a room with a balcony and sitting there for hours, watching the sea far below shimmer between the little carved pillars.

For years, Alex ignored the dusty piles of books and scrolls that lay in the rooms farthest from his grandmother's well known route. She didn't know of those relics. She'd never looked. Everyone was always so wary of the tower, seeing it as theirs to guard but not to linger in, explore or feel at home in. Alex didn't get it, but he knew that they wouldn't understand him either. No wonder they all started to think him a bit distant.

Eventually, curiousity led Alex to prise open one of the old texts, the most colourful one, in case it contained anything as enchanting as the tower around it. If he hadn't picked up a book with pictures, he probably wouldn't have got around to looking at all those other books quite so swiftly. It would have taken him at least a couple more weeks. The mysterious designs and vibrant landscapes soon led him to put more effort into learning to read at home, so he could understand the text beside the illustrations. He still hadn't bothered to read many of the difficult books, but by the time he was ten, Alex knew enough to start seeing busy, modern Imil as a bleak remnant of the past. He grew up knowing that there was a time when Alchemy placed the very elements of reality in men's hands, realizing that everyone around him was content to while away their short lives in a land of scattered villages and xenophobic tribes. When his grandmother died, he let Mia take care of most of the duties of Imil's healer, mainly because the only concrete task in that set of traditions was to guard the Lighthouse. Keep it forgotten and secret. Like so much others did, that didn't seem right. Alex dealt with other people with vague politeness, not trusting anyone with his thoughts, and they seemed to assume there wasn't much to him, a quiet boy who Mia sometimes talked with.

Alex had begun to hear what was possible at age thirteen from the Mars Clan, when the Proxans first passed through Imil. A heavily bruised pair of warriors came to replace food and medical supplies destroyed in a storm, buying enough food for a far larger party and enough herbs to treat the whole town. Alex had followed them back to their camp in the woods to the south. It had been so bizarre. From the top of a tree, Alex had watched the strange pair approach a boy, two men and a woman, all of whom were sleeping in thick, comfy sleeping bags near a warm fire, with tightly knotted rope binding each sleeper's wrists together. The warriors woke each one up in turn, changing their bandages and making them answer a set of (by the sound of it very boring) questions about their health and drink a freshly prepared medicinal potion, but all with an attitude of disdain and detachment. Once their captive patients had all drifted off again, the warriors just sat by the fire in silence, looking so incredibly grief-stricken Alex knew he couldn't possibly leave until he'd discovered what was going on. Climbing down as silently as he'd approached, Alex replenished his half filled water bottle with Douse, picked a hatfull of nuts from the heart of the bushes, and strode into the camp claiming Mia had sent him with a gift for 'the bruised couple from out of town'.

The two Proxans had instantly been suspicious, of course, drawing their swords and demanding to know who he was, why he followed them, who sent him, what he intended, what he knew… Alex had been rather shaken at the time, not used to so much attention and certainly not used to having (clearly frequently used) weapons pointed at him. Fortunately, Alex found he actually had less to hide from those with no fondness for Imil than from everyone else, as the Clan itself was no secret and his opinions on it hardly mattered to these strangers. Once they knew who he was the warriors had started to consider him potentially useful, thinking a scared little Adept should be a more sympathetic audience than the people of Vale had proved to be, probably even wondering if they could secure help from this village instead.

Saturos and Menardi told him bitterly of their home, Prox, where everyone had strange powers like him and Mia, but originating from the fiery side of Alchemy; of their lighthouse, built for Mars rather than Mercury, and the fate their leader Puelle claimed was drawing near; of how six had trekked South through the snowy mountain passes, heading for Vale to claim the Mars star that had been taken from it's rightful home long ago, it's potent Alchemy needed now to protect it's corner of the planet; of how, immediately upon entering Vale, it had been clear no-one in the village had the slightest idea what Mt. Aleph really was, and how the mayor had made it clear that whatever Prox's situation, prying wasn't welcome; of how the two warriors had led their party's secret midnight expedition, and been the only ones to escape a trap, an eruption of chaos, lightning, monsters, poisonous vapours, spiked pits, shifting stairways, fire and brimstone… All because they hadn't moved a statue. How Menardi had seen her husband die. How Saturos had seen his wife die. Because of a statue.

It had struck Alex that Mia would be serving the same purpose as this trap if there was ever a chance to actually light Mercury Lighthouse; she would try to keep it from being disturbed. Would she ever resort to murderous violence, or was that a mountain thing? He knew the answer now, didn't he? Both.

He heard how the sleeping figures had been seen drowning in the river. Mt. Aleph had even attacked the village outside, triggering a storm and an avalanche. It had felt strange, according to Menardi. They'd seen the boy first, Felix, floating unconscious so close to the shore there had seemed little risk in wading out to save him. Then the others had appeared, struggling against the deepest, swiftest currents, and Felix had briefly woken up, just for long enough to beg them to go save his parents. However dangerous it was, the Proxans wouldn't quit against this mountain, and had very nearly drowned themselves as a rain of sharp rocks started to follow the earlier boulders. It was like a trap, Menardi had insisted, one where the villagers were the bait. Like there was something there, that would go to any lengths to finish them.

Alex knew now what that had been. That rock had got them in the end, and now it had practically got him too. He wondered sometimes if almost everyone who had wanted to free Alchemy had suffered under the rock's watchful eye. Karst and Agatio, Felix and Jenna, their parents, Kraden, Piers, Sheba, Mia, Garet, Kyle, Ivan, Hama, all the soldiers and citizens of Prox… Such a lot of people, but anything that could defeat him could kill them. Someone must have lit the final beacon, and Isaac had apparently survived to be given a share of a dream only Alex had done a thing to earn. Maybe he should have asked that awful rocky executioner for the news before he addressed the weather.

The two Proxans knew they had to secure more power to beat Mt. Aleph, and keeping these villagers as hostages had seemed a good start. For that, they had to keep them alive. Half crushed and half drowned, the hostages had needed more treatment than their few remaining supplies had allowed. A detour further South had been necessary, to take what they needed from Vault, then from Biblin as they progressed. By the time they'd reached Imil, they'd taken enough money to buy what they needed, which seemed like a good idea considering they'd have to stick around a few days until the hostages could walk better before they started moving through the mountains further North. Right then, waking up half the day, still too tired to even be very annoyed at being kidnapped, was all they could manage.

Besides, stopping should give them some time to talk. The three adults seemed to prefer trying to sleep all the time, probably not wanting to take it all in yet, but the boy Felix had started to talk to them surprisingly openly about Vale whenever he was awake enough. Menardi suspected he was trying to make the Proxans feel for Vale as much as Prox's story had affected the four villagers. Whatever reason, they'd already heard about Kraden, a Sage who they could have approached for help, considering he was studying Alchemy and had also come from somewhere out of town. The warriors wanted to find out everything they could before they crossed the mountains, just in case the journey killed anyone.

"So what's your position now, kid?" Saturos had asked bitterly. "Let me guess. You're sympathetic, but you just don't like us."

Actually, Alex had been impressed. He'd never seen so much confidence, despair or ruthlessness in anyone in Imil. He'd never known there was a star to light his lighthouse, to return Alchemy, to make his secret history a reality. He had to read all those books, know everything. He couldn't lose these people, couldn't lose his part in something big. Alex told Saturos and Menardi he'd do research for them here in Imil, then join them before they returned.

"I suppose you could help. We'll probably be back first, burning that mountain to the ground. Otherwise, journey to Prox in a few years, if you find anything useful. You can tag along." Menardi had offered, tears starting to roll down her face as she tried to laugh at him dismissively.

"You're still going to have to prove yourself before we trust you with directions." Saturos added. "Won't have you sending off some sort of rescue party for the hostages. They'd only get slaughtered in Prox, if they ever made it that far."

Theirs was a strange way of caring, Alex thought. Such a hostile way of worrying about more people from Vale getting hurt. Alex had been able to convince people he was far more caring, if it suited him. All the Proxans had wanted him to do was steal food for them from town throughout the week they stayed. Very easy. He was the healer's assistant, the Mercury Clan, above suspicion.

Two years of studying told Alex all he needed to know. He had spent more time in town, helping Mia with her healing, trying to develop his Psynergy and secure a good reputation. He'd wanted to practice keeping his thoughts to himself without making others curious, practice getting people to trust him, trying to prepare for life among strangers. His time alone in Mercury Lighthouse was still much more valuable to him. Sometimes he practiced his other Psynergy there, the jets of water he'd started to use against wild animals in the forest, a way of fighting that he'd need in the mountains. Sometimes, on the most unreal of days… Well. Alex would never forget how warping had come to him… Mostly though, piles of old volumes would sit by him on the balconies as he worked through them, making notes and memorizing everything. A few, the least ancient, talked of wars and plans to seal away the power that inspired them. The stone of sages would be as far beyond human hands as the stars above, as Alchemy would be drawn into the four glass 'stars' that had previously only been infused with white light atop the four celebratory elemental Lighthouses. If Alex could find a way to light all of them, not just Mars, it would all be released again, meeting in the centre where the stars had been stored as a golden ball of light condensing into pure reality and potency… On that mountain, Alex could effectively become god.

He'd burned all the books the night he left. Others would be passing through the lighthouse soon, so he left no trace, just an empty tower. Reaching Prox wasn't the hard part; that was convincing Puelle they needed all the Lighthouses lit to save the town. It was probably true anyway. Venus was lacking if the land was falling away. Alex hadn't needed to worry about respect and privacy. Prox was loud, lively and honest, a fiery town acting up against the cold landscape, not like slow, calm snowy Imil. The Proxans didn't know what to make of Alex, so polite and helpful. He could twist anyone's words against them if they weren't doing what he wanted.

One year of preparation. He'd watched Saturos and Menardi train against each other, and with the other soldiers and warriors. When they weren't training, he'd helped Karst and Agatio research pathways to and through the other lighthouses. He'd seen Felix trying to practice his Venus psynergy on his own, trying to get the soldiers to teach him how to use a sword, trying to read all of the books Karst would let him borrow.

When everyone had thought the next expedition would only be to Vale and back, it had apparently been assumed Felix would stay in Prox with the other hostages, so that pressure could be put on Vale to find and give away the Mars star. With the change of plans, it was clear being given them all was probably too much to hope for, and Felix had asked to come with Saturos, Menardi and Alex, a small group to try and do it all with stealth and speed. Felix had argued that if they were going all around the world, another sort of Adept might be useful, and he wouldn't run away, he really wanted to help this desperate town. That fact was obvious to everyone but the two Proxans he was trying to convince. Felix's parents and Kyle were a part of the community by then, missing their family back home but unable to hold anything against anyone except those two, who had insisted they weren't to be taken home until Prox was saved. Felix hadn't fitted in so well, as the youths of Prox were considerably more suspicious of the world they were getting so isolated from, so Felix was quite desperate to start making a difference somewhere. Saturos and Menardi had agreed that he could come along and help out, but he had to follow their orders or his parents wouldn't be following him out of Prox. Felix agreed, as long as he got some say in how they treated Vale; keeping everyone except Kraden from getting involved in any way, and if anyone got hurt again, helping without kidnapping. What a handshake that had been.

Alex had taught himself a little swordwork, out of sight of the others. It wasn't much, but he'd never planned on using it, and he'd never had to. He had just needed a sword at his belt on the quest. Even Felix carried one. Alex was the youngest of all of them, at the start, but he'd never worked for anyone else. Just with, and then in the end, without. Throwing all those warriors at Mars Lighthouse had almost worked, but Alex didn't know what more he could have done…

At the peak of Mt. Aleph, Alex had expected an exhilarating future. Throwing his hands in the air, calling for thunder, wind and rain, for catastrophic storms, he could already imagine the elements roaring and shaking, rejoicing with him the power running through the skies and through his veins. He'd wanted to laugh and shout and tell the world he was here at last. He could have battled an army, ran across the oceans, flown to the sun, danced on the moon, and then started to really explore the limits of his power, determined only by his eternal imagination. He could have had forever to do whatever he wanted, could have reinvented the world however he chose, and he had been about to remove the obsolete, poisonous little village below him… When the world fell apart in his hands, and the universe shoved him to his knees.

It's the bad parts that stick with you, right? Alex knew, however long he lasted down here, the mountain's collapse would always be his most vivid memory. As he was lying there, paralyzed, with the ground starting to sway and shiver sickeningly, Alex had felt that first chilling, creeping fear. The tremors only got worse, and as he started to slide and fall stiffly down the peak, feeling the pain with newly sharpened senses, it had been the first time he had ever experienced total terror. He had no idea why he kept running through it all again, but every few years his thoughts just returned to that sharpness, so similar to the blunt emotions he was swamped with now. It was all just despair at the core, wasn't it? He had always assumed his new powers would be accessible in an instant. His old psynergy was washed away, though, lost in the vastness of a new set of abilities and unknown restrictions. On that slope, still thinking like a Mercury Adept, he'd tried to break through the power that paralyzed him, tried to erode it, swamp it, smash it into fragments, but nothing raised the slightest flicker of power from within. All the while he was being thrown helplessly into trees, boulders, dirt and rocks, as the shuddering mountain collapsed into the earth.

By the fourth cliff face, his many broken bones and the torn gashes all over him triggered his first useful ability automatically. A soft warmth started to heal him slowly and protect him slightly, though it did nothing for pain or paralysis. Feeling for where this energy was coming from, Alex was quickly able to boost it, before mentally exploring the rest of this Alchemy. A new sort of horror soon dawned on Alex. While some of his power would be shared proportionally with that boy Isaac, like his extended lifespan, most of the power the guardian had drained from the golden sun to keep from him in case he had escaped consisted of anything the senile sadist considered too destructive. This did still leave him most of the abilities he'd expected, considering how much more it takes to create than destroy, but he couldn't fight with this power, couldn't set things alight or bring them crashing down. He couldn't summon weather more chaotic than a sunny day or a light drizzle, couldn't tear two things apart, couldn't eradicate anything, couldn't wield a force large enough to crack an egg unless he did it by hand. When he'd attacked the guardian, he could only have been gently wobbling it… The only way he could have moved and escaped from that mountain was to constantly put enough energy into moving to cancel out the effects of the guardian's curse, without ever getting rid of it! With only a finite amount of power available, which could prove to be less than that rock's, Alex had hoped he wouldn't have to match too great an effort.

Before he'd even begun to attempt escape, though, scraping down one last crevice brought Alex within sight of the gaping fissure Mt. Aleph was rapidly sinking into. In his last few seconds above the surface, Alex dropped everything else without a thought to power the shield protecting him, an act that only just saved him from being ground to dust. Caught up in the cataclysmic shifting of rock deep inside the planet, he was carried down for miles, desperately hoping not to be crushed but believing himself doomed every second of the way. He didn't even notice the broken bones he hadn't got around to healing any more. Being swallowed by the earth was beyond terrifying. Alex knew this was how the ancient guardian of Alchemy hoped to kill him.

Eventually, he came to rest between a slab of submerged sandstone cliff and a vast expanse of granite, both of which were dented where they'd scraped past him. For the next few days or weeks, he didn't remember thinking a single thought. He finally found himself staring blankly ahead in total darkness, having by some miracle maintained his shield even while in shock, but he was in an awful condition physically. After diverting even the little healing power that had been automatic, his body felt like it belonged to some impossible corpse. It certainly hadn't helped that, though starving would never kill him now, it could have every other effect. Despite the pain, Alex was too scared to weaken his shield any more than he had to in case it failed him, and so with the patience of a brave coward, he dragged out his healing for seven years. During all that time, he'd been able to distract himself from all other thoughts.

Once all his wounds were reduced to bruises, though, Alex wasn't in enough agony to avoid thinking of the world above. Alchemy would have been unleashed on the world for seven years then, fifty by now, and he still didn't know what had come of it. Could everyone wield Alchemy, or just the Adepts, descendants of the ancient and powerful people who knew it last? Were the great civilizations of old being rebuilt? Did any of them even deserve it at all? While Alex had always had the patience to avoid unnecessary conflict, he had no respect for the average villager. The people of Vale were a perfect example; so closed minded they didn't understand the power they withheld from the world, mankind's ability to grant every human wish; stubborn enough to refuse the Mars Clan any aid when another village was threatened by destruction; low enough to send out two ignorant children to fight against Prox's last chance, sending them into a death match against those who should have been their allies. Isaac and Garet had killed Saturos and Menardi then taken up their cause! If that didn't illustrate perfectly the sort of self defeating stupidity and short sightedness that governed most people's behaviour, nothing did.

Still, Alex had allied himself with those he didn't care to know any longer than was necessary. As he had once told Felix, Saturos and Menardi were aggressive idiots, and unlike himself, they needed their family and friends threatened before they felt pressed to act. Despite how much knowledge had been left to those of Mars Lighthouse, Alex had been the only one to want to return Alchemy to put back what should never have been taken away; the others saw it as the only cure for one problem or another. He'd hoped to see the world changed for the better, most specifically to give himself the chance to live an outstanding life, after working so hard for that chance.

Alex knew there were enough smart and powerful people around to appreciate Alchemy now it had fallen into their laps, even if he couldn't really guess what they had done with the planet by now. It truly stung Alex that he should be the one shaping the world up there, but now that he'd finally become the most powerful man in the whole of Weyard, he was trapped, amounting to as little as the mud beneath men's feet. For years, aside from wishing he was in their place, this bitterness made it hard to care how the populations of the world had prospered or suffered in his absence. Inevitably though, just as he despised the poor state of so much he remembered, Alex could only hope people had achieved something decent by now with the power he'd left them. There were even a few people he had known who had potential.

The events leading to the lighting of the final lighthouse had certainly not included much of a role for his old aquaintance Mia, but it was in her nature to get swept along whenever change was too rapid. She would settle into slow moving times and work with them to the best of her ability, no doubt becoming one of the most valuable members of any community. Alex had once thought that as another member of the Mercury Clan, she might share his interest in their Clan's lost golden age, but despite how much she tried to achieve in any given situation she had shown no interest in superior historical situations. He'd always kept his distance even from her since then, and she'd respected that without really understanding. Now her ability, should she have survived, would be much increased, she might well be one to try and fully use it, ending up in an influential position even if she didn't naturally seek out status.

Felix too might have accomplished a lot by now. Alex had never talked much with the boy from Vale while they were both traveling with Saturos and Menardi. It was clear he had hated what he was doing to the people of his hometown, a pointless sort of sentimentality that may not have affected his determination, but certainly led to conflicting feelings, making him seem far less reliable and effective than the Proxans. Felix had got them through Venus Lighthouse, but until then had served as little more than a babysitter for the other hostages. Felix's time in Prox had shaped him more effectively than Alex had at first suspected, as he'd proved by taking control of his group after Saturos and Menardi's death and actually making good progress, even recruiting that boat's owner rather than just managing to take the boat like Alex had planned. By the time Alex had fetched more Proxans, they hadn't really been needed, but anything that sped things up was to some extent worthwhile. After all, Felix's big disadvantage had been his tendancy to dawdle, to get distracted. If he had really found enough strength to lead his group successfully to the end, that boy must have somehow made a name for himself by now.

After the first two decades underground, with so much time spent considering such issues, Alex began to realize he missed these people. In all the years he had been surrounded by others he had vastly preferred his own company. Now, for some reason, he wished other people were around merely so he could see their faces again. If just twenty years encased in solid rock could do that to him, Alex feared for his sanity now after fifty. Suppose he lived out his full, probably thousands of centuries long lifespan down here? What sort of wreck would he be by the end? Once he had realized where thoughts of other people might take him, Alex had tried to avoid them, often going for months thinking only of himself.

Focusing on his present situation seemed the most constructive thing to do anyway, even if that was similarly frustrating. When he first finished his healing, Alex had started to explore his Alchemic abilities further, seeing how his shield seemed to be working fine with a little energy spared. He'd found he had been altered more deeply than he'd realized by the golden sun; when he thought about it, he could recall everything he had actively thought or seen in the past perfectly, he could feel the state of every organ in his body and consciously adjust automatic functions (on a whim, he once stopped his heart for a week and moved the blood around his body himself), he could sense the exact density of the rock for half a mile around him, and he could concentrate on about ten different thoughts at once. The really useful ability in his situation would have been a way of getting out, but as he couldn't do a thing to remove the rock above him these powers seemed pretty much useless. He had even considered just letting himself die, but he couldn't really bear to give up, so he had turned ever more to his thoughts instead. After the rather disturbing twenty year landmark, he renewed his search for any possible escape with fresh desperation.

If there had been a crumbled fragment of a seed case down here with him, Alex was fairly sure he could have figured out how to gradually rebuild the seed and give the plant the strength to grow, forcing apart his prison. There was nothing. He felt for water, hoping to divert its flow to someday erode through to him, a river in which he could form ice and expand pebbles into boulders to speed things up, but he was too far down to find anything. He tried making a patch of rock immediately above him grow, thinking it might cause a fissure, but he ended up almost crushing himself. He was the only one who could force anything past his shield into his skin. Over these past thirty years, he had despaired of anything good ever happening again.

Six years ago, growing incredibly frustrated, Alex had briefly tried to divert a little more power away from his protection to see if he could feel a little further. A fraction of a second of slightly higher heat and pressure had nearly killed him, before he put the power back. Having a little more healing to do was always painful, but still a welcome distraction. It had been a relief and a disappointment when he had finished a year or so back. Since then, he had been thinking through all the elemental powers that had been accessible through Psynergy, reasoning that as the elements were the building blocks of Alchemy, this might remind him of some aspect of his powers he hadn't tried.

He was onto Jupiter now, going through the Psynergy he'd seen from those two children, Sheba and Ivan. The wind controlling abilities wouldn't do much good down here, and he wasn't going to risk trying to somehow fly through rock, so that mainly left telepathy. Though he could block them, Alex had no idea how those kids actually read minds and didn't have anyone here to try it on, while the only instances when he had heard telepathic communication had been in the lighthouses (from unidentifiable elemental guardians), and in his meeting with the guardian boulder of Vale… Hatred once again flared up in Alex at what that rock had put him through. He seemed doomed to die down here, like it had hoped. Alex knew he was crying again, another thing that never used to happen, as he pictured that rock slowly and painfully imploding for the seven thousand five hundred and fifteenth time.

Bringing himself back to the subject of telepathy, only as dispirited as usual, Alex wondered how he might try to broadcast a message. Did he even want to contact anyone, to plea for help? Was it worth being stuck here forever if he never tried? Was anything worth anything when every one of his hundreds of last hopes had failed? Alex decided to try asking for help, and if that failed too, he wouldn't make himself live with another humiliating memory. His existence was pathetic enough already. If this didn't work, then at long last, he would let himself die. Giving it his best guess, Alex mentally yelled,

#Hey! People! Can anyone hear me? Do you know who I am? Just… Someone please help me…#

He'd really done it. He was finally leaving, one way or another. With a million regrets, he was just about to finish with it all, when he got a horrible shock. An answer.

#Hello? Is that… Is that Alex? How in the world did you?… This is Isaac. What's going on?#

He'd actually got an answer. A real person replying. And somehow, Isaac sounded as young as he had in the old days, when they had all talked together and everyone could see what everyone else looked like. When there had been a sea and a sky. Overwhelmed by violently mixed emotions, Alex ended up sending Isaac the mental equivalent of an exclamation mark.

#I'm pretty sure that's you, Alex. Where are you? If you're alive, what have you been doing all these years?#

Alex thought he sensed a hint of fear and anxiety in Isaac's mental voice. What did Isaac have to worry about? What exactly did everyone up there think had happened to him?

#Rock. Nothing, forever. That's all. Rock, and only rock!# Alex spat out the words as if he was violently swearing.

#Right… Hold on, I'll get the others. We might be able to help you, Alex, but you've got an incredible amount of explaining to do.# Isaac broke the connection and gazed around his bedroom in Lemuria Palace, totally bewildered. This was the last thing he'd expected at three in the morning, fifty years after Alex's miraculous death.

Well, Rozzlynn, I'm...quite impressed. I've read about half of it. I'll have to read the rest later. But how long and when did you write this?

How long did I write this?... How long ago? I started just before Christmas, and I'm nowhere near the end. How long did I write/make it? It's very long so far. Very long. I'm finding the current chapter incredibly difficult to write, though, so I'm not sure how long it will eventually be, or when I'll manage to complete it. I think that's all you might have been asking. Sorry if I still haven't answered properly. And thanks for taking a look!

Wow, this is very good. It makes me miss playing golden sun...I hope they will make a third game some day :cry:

Yeah, a third game would be incredible. More of Kraden's philosophising... :heart:

You, ah, both think it's good? Wow... ah, thanks! Not sure if it's all very good... But that's later. Here's a little more of the start, but just a little, so SuicuneSol can catch up.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Golden Sun games, or anything I quote at the start of a chapter.

"The pendulum of the mind oscillates
between sense and nonsense,
not right and wrong."
Carl Jung

Chapter 2: Forever Friends and Family.

Isaac mentally cast around for one of the five djinni that shared his rooms at Lemuria Palace. They didn't sleep much, and they usually had more luck than him trying to wake the others up without getting something heavy thrown at them.

#Granite? Would you mind fetching everyone? Thanks. Tell them it's an emergency. Possibly a catastrophe.# Isaac sat back, relieved. There wasn't much he could do on his own.

#Granite!# Snarled Alex, startling Isaac again. Alex had clung to the link between their minds and had heard every word. #How can you mention granite now, when it's still here like it's always been? When it's a dead end staring me in the face? You said you'd help me leave without it claiming everything, but it isn't gone and never will be. If it weren't for you at least I'd be clear of it by now!# Alex snapped viciously at Isaac.

#Okay, okay, I'll go, you can leave on your own!# Isaac sent back quickly, worrying about where Alex was going and what he was planning on doing there. Would he be a threat to the world again? Why hadn't he made a move for so long, if he was alive after all?

#No! No! You can't go!# Alex yelled, terrified again. #Please, just get me out of the world and back into the real world. I… I'll do anything…# Once more Alex was disgusted with himself, at how little his pride meant now, but he couldn't be left alone again. Any future was better.

#Fine! Calm down, and tell me where you are.# Isaac tried to get things sorted out, wishing the others would hurry up. Alex wasn't making much sense, but at least it didn't sound like he had a new plan to conquer the world mapped out.

#I told you already. In the world. In the earth. And if this is the heart of Weyard, it is a remarkably heartless place.#

#You're underground?# Isaac started to translate. #Cave, tunnel or basement? Are you near any particular town or city?#

#Just in the ground, perhaps under more of it than I'm over, but I really can't tell. I suppose it's nearer Vale than anywhere else.# Alex hoped his patience would stretch just a little further. It always used to be so easy.

#Vale? You can't mean that, can you? Unless… Were you not there on Mt Aleph when it destroyed Vale? Did the Wise One lie to us all?# Isaac was stunned. It was a bit much, history being rewritten in the middle of the night.

#Don't call it wise!# Alex shouted venomously. #Nothing it did was wise! You call this the result of a wise decision? I never thought you were so cruel! Or did that rock change you too? I stood on the slopes of Mt Aleph as the golden sun formed, and I remain on the slopes of Mt Aleph. Was half a century really not long enough for you to figure it out? Or does everyone know about me? Are you all leaving me here, wishing me a slow and painful death?# Alex despaired again, hurting so much more after letting himself hope. It wasn't just that rock, the whole world hated him. Well, what had he expected from a rotten planet? Why should it matter what other people thought? What every other person in existance thought… He really should have killed himself before he slipped enough to ask for help.

#You were buried alive? All this time?# Isaac's tone was awed and horrified. He had always helped people, ever since he was seventeen, and despite everything Alex had done long ago Isaac started to pity him now. He knew the others would feel the same eventually. It looked like they'd be bringing back one of the worst men in history after all. Perhaps they were too nice…

Right then, the first of Isaac's friends teleported in from one of the rows of symbols installed along the opposite wall. Felix even looked alert at this hour, and had come fully equipped and armed. After taking in the large, empty room with a puzzled frown, he asked Isaac;

"Where's this emergency?"

#Hello? Isaac?#

"It's Alex." Isaac answered quietly, ignoring Alex's voice for now. Felix had to be brought up to speed first.

"Which Alex?" Asked Felix. "Is that kid in Nariwbe in trouble, or has Alex of Yallam found something important?"

"It's the Alex. The one we knew." Isaac corrected him urgently. At this, though, Felix just started laughing.

"Good joke, but you probably shouldn't wake the others up for this. I don't think Jenna and Garet have been getting much sleep these last few days with the work they're doing in Prox, and Mia certainly won't be amused."

#What are you doing?#

"It's not a joke!" Isaac protested, throwing a small fireball at Felix. "Get serious! He was caught up in Mt Aleph's collapse like we thought, but he didn't die, and he didn't escape either. He's just been trapped in rock, losing his mind by the sound of it, and now he's asking for help. Listen in."

Felix frowned, catching the fireball. These were too many unbelievable statements too close together for a joke, and if Isaac was using the slightest bit of his golden sun power to show he was serious it was proof enough for him. Felix nodded.

#Alex? It's me again, and I've got Felix with me now. If you're trapped underground, what do you expect us to do to help? You received most of the golden sun's power, even if the W- the rock put a little in me. We've all learned Alchemy, but you're the one with almost limitless power, so if you survived, what's trapping you?#

#It's quality, not quantity!# Alex sent back, confused. #If what your 'W-rock' gave you is what I didn't get, you might actually be useful, remember? Rock needs destruction. You'd actually be more competent than Felix here, but things change, don't they? Or why would you own the heart of my dreams in the first place, and a heartless heart trap one who, much to your surprise I'm sure, does have that heart you all doubted! The heart of stone can't be mine or it would be only thing that wouldn't be a barrier to me, and that would truly have been a different past!#

#You're right, Isaac.# Felix joined in, much amused. #He is losing his mind.# Alex didn't know what to say to that.

wooow '_' .......


..... '_'

It's really great! You should really become a writer!

Hm...that second post sounded a bit different. The tone was different. And there were these (#) everywhere.

Well, I can't wait to read more, even though I haven't finished the first post. '-_-

Yes, it is very good. I would like to see more! Keep it coming!

Wow... Thanks, everyone!

I'm aiming to make the tone of every chapter distinct. It was easiest with the first two, considering the characters involved. People are calling it a pro-Alex fic after the fifth chapter, but once I get the sixth one out I doubt they'll still think so. (I'm hoping to get a bit of feedback on chapter six here first.)

The (#) marks mean they're talking telepathically. (Which is the only way they can talk when Isaac is in Lemuria and Alex is several miles below the remains of Mt. Aleph.) That's towards the end of the first post. You should probably finish that before you go any further, for Alex's state of mind if nothing else. '-_-

Well, here's more!

Chapter 2, Part 2

Before the conversation could get any further, Sheba teleported in.

"I'm here, everyone!" Sheba greeted her friends with a yawn as she appeared. "Piers is busy, I've just seen the ship's going to hit a sudden storm in half an hour and except for Briggs' kids this class won't be strong enough yet to be much help. Oh, only Felix is here already? That's the earliest I've ever been!" Sheba finished with a smile.

"Glad you're here." Felix smiled back. "I'm sure we'll manage without Piers. If there's a decision to be made, we'll just give you an extra vote."

"There's a decision to make, a big one." Isaac sighed. "You'd both better mind read me or this is going to take far too long."

As she read what was happening, Sheba's eyes got wider and wider. Felix thought through Isaac's opinions carefully.

"You're probably right about what we should do, too." Decided Felix. "This is too much punishment when Alex never got the time to actually do anything awful. We either finish him or rescue him, and it sounds like we might be able to manage him if we choose rescue. We must make sure we're safe before we do anything."

Sheba nodded wordlessly, still catching up. She was the first to figure something out.

"Didn't Alex say the golden sun gave him everything Isaac didn't get?" Sheba started. "Isaac, aside from your old Psynergy, you basically just had the power to blow stuff up really well until you learned more Alchemy with the rest of us, right? So Alex doesn't have any really damaging powers like yours. That's why he can't get out. He might even be harmless!"

"I'll try and find out. He can't be completely powerless, can he?" Isaac replied. #Alex? What's kept you alive if you can't affect the rock? What sort of abilities do you have?#

#You're still there? Wanting to know? I have discovery, protection, building, rebuilding, and I should have movement but for the cruelty of rock and the strenth it owes me. You know communication, too, or did you think you were imagining me? Or am I just imagining you?# Alex was suddenly scared he might have been decieving himself with the voices in his head. It made sense. He was very alone down here. Fifty years had to be far worse than twenty, and that had turned him strange enough.

#I think I am imagining you.# Alex continued sadly. #That only leaves one thing now, right?#

#No! Don't kill yourself!# Sheba jumped in fiercely. Isaac and Felix stared at her.
"Come on, you actually heard him earlier, don't tell me you didn't know what he kept talking about!" She whispered to the clueless pair. #Alex, we'll help you somehow, I promise.# She finished.

#You're Sheba.# Alex realized. #One of the girls I told Saturos and Menardi to kidnap. You always hated me. There's no way you're saying this.#

#If you'd never have thought I'd help you, then you can't be imagining me.# Sheba reasoned. #Now hold on, we all need to talk about this. We'll let you know when we've got a plan. Don't do a thing until then, Alex. We're going to change something, and you will wait and see that change or you will ruin everything good that might happen to you now. Just wait.#

#Just wait.# Alex echoed, relatively calmly. #I... sure. Wait.#

"You're still a Jupiter Adept at heart, aren't you? Always good with the mental stuff." Felix commented, impressed.

"Well, we know everything we need to know, we've just got to see what everyone else thinks without anyone messing up Alex any more." Sheba shrugged. "Ivan could have done it better, he's the one who studied mind games. I'm with the wind and rain now!"

Ivan appeared at that moment as if summoned, looking very tired.

"Sorry I took a while, I was trying not to wake up Keisha and the kids. Oh, and Hama told me that we should go with our instincts, and keep control with what motivated us in the first place. Sometimes, I still just don't get my sister. So, what's going on?"

"Lots. You'd better mind read me too - or Sheba, actually, she's got a better understanding of this." Isaac instucted. They were long past needing to ask if they could be trusted to read each other's minds.

Once Ivan had caught up, he looked a lot more awake and alarmed.

"Wow. This is tricky. How can we promise Alex help though, Sheba, when we haven't all decided what we're going to do about him? That wasn't in your explanation."

"I didn't put it in a very obvious thought, did I? Felix said it though; we save him, or put him out of his misery. Both are help." Everyone in the room felt a pang of sadness at that. There was something about hearing someone like Sheba talking about killing people…

"Why were you being so compassionate though?" Felix asked her. "Alex was right, he was the one who thought of kidnapping you, even if I thought it was those Proxans for ages. Just like he told us to kidnap Jenna and Kraden in Mt Aleph." Felix laughed bitterly. "He was efficient, I suppose, and kind when it suited him, but he would be ruthlessly cruel just as easily. I don't think he cared the slightest bit about anyone he ever knew."

"Who are you talking about?" Mia asked curiously. Felix turned around, as Mia closed the door behind her.

"Alex." Isaac told her apologetically. Felix had been right, she wouldn't find this very funny.

Mia stiffened a little at that name, but then met Isaac's eyes and replied, trying to keep her voice level;

"The boy I grew up with didn't care about anyone in his life, did he? Everyone knows that. Why are we talking about this now? Granite told me there was something important happening. I didn't run down the whole East Wing of the palace in my slippers for nothing, did I?"

"Alex is the issue here." Sheba told her. "Read my mind for everything so far. And Felix, I know what he did, but that was a long time ago. I was needed in Jupiter Lighthouse, and in travelling with you all… You know how much it meant to me, getting to meet pretty much everyone on the planet. It's still the biggest thing to put my mind at rest, even without ever finding out where I came from. Lalivero is where I spent my childhood, and now the whole world is my home." Sheba rubbed her wedding ring happily. "The quest was how I met Piers, and I'd never change the way that worked out. Alex was deeply involved in the quest, and not just as an enemy, even if he wasn't the nicest person in the world. You know all this really. Besides, what we do with him now should only be based on who he has become. Right now…"

"…He's in pain." Mia finished her friend's sentence, stunned by the conversations she'd just heard. "More than that. I've never known him be so emotional. So unsure. I know, I never really knew him, I just thought I did, but something's very different now. Very wrong."

"Of course it's wrong." Ivan agreed comfortingly. "As to whether we can manage him if we do attempt a rescue; he would apparently have enough Alchemy to escape us and protect himself, and find others to help him seek out power again, but only if he wanted to and if he could pull himself together. The latter sounds pretty unlikely to me, so it's probably worth risking the former, if only to find out what really happenned fifty years ago. Contigo has always valued knowledge of the past and the future."

They were interrupted by the entrance of the last two friends in their group. Garet greeted everyone as he and Jenna stepped off the teleportation pads.

"Hi, guys! Sorry we're so late. Jenna couldn't tear herself away from Neikul. I had to watch the class while they said goodbye. Those kids sleep very deeply considering there's just five inches of snow separating them from the fiery passionate flames those two summon when they just kiss…"

"Shut up!" Jenna whacked Garet in the back of the head with a fireball. "Neikul's been my boyfriend for seventeen years now! When are you going to stop teasing?"

"Never." Garet answered immediately, totally straight faced, making Jenna laugh despite herself.

"Oh, never mind. So, what's the problem?" Jenna asked the group.

"Aside from Garet? Long story. Mind read someone and let's hear what you both think." Ivan replied with a smile.

Everyone waited while the new arrivals absorbed the information. Garet recovered from the shock first, and seeing Jenna still lost in thought tried to send a fireball back at her, but she noticed and ducked. Isaac caught the fireball, and dissolved it with a grimace. Everything he did came back, to reward him or haunt him. He remembered Saturos, the older brother Neikul had never known. Saturos and Menardi. It had been so hard to explain why he had killed him, the first time he had visited Prox. When exactly had he started to think of that fight on Venus Lighthouse as murder? Probably when it sank in that he hadn't been saving the world. Isaac hated spending time up North, didn't know how Jenna could stand living there or why Garet liked visiting. Prox just reminded him of the worst things he had ever done. He'd never been able to stop wondering; were those deaths, followed so frustratingly by what they'd all done to Karst and Agatio at Mars Lighthouse… Were they why all he could do with the power he'd received from the golden sun was wreck things? Why had Alex, the only one who really should have died, been given the powers he had just described?

"Before we all decide," Isaac finally contributed, "Remember what Alex claimed to have; powers of rebuilding, protection, communication, everything we've been working towards since the rebirth of Alchemy. The world is bigger and better organised than it used to be, a lot harder for anyone to mess with, but there's always room for more help. I'd be surprised if Alex gave us that help, but he's already surprised us more times than I care to remember." Isaac hadn't found that very easy to say, but he knew it was the truth.

"I think I agree." Jenna frowned, thinking hard. "Plus, Alex made sure we didn't kill Karst and Agatio on Jupiter Lighthouse, when it would have put our parents in danger, so I agree with Sheba too. Who knows, if Alex had been around at Mars, maybe he'd have saved Karst and Agatio again, and Neikul and I would have a couple more friends today. If Alex could just do something about his personality… What did Hama mean, though? Everyone's first instinct was shock and dismay at him even being alive, right? And what motivated us almost never stopped us being at odds with him in the past. Was Hama warning us not to help Alex like she knew we'd want to?"

"I remember when we first finished our quest. The day we saw what had become of Vale, when I thought my family had been killed." Garet spoke slowly and seriously. "The only reason I'd left in the first place - aside from 'Isaac said so' - was to save them. Do the right thing, save Vale, save my friends. I don't think we've logically justified it at all, but we still want to save Alex. It's our gut instinct now."

"Hama was reassuring us, telling us to go for it without getting too worried, in her own special way. I get it now." Ivan grinned in relief. "So, is it unanimous?"

Isaac had known it would be.

So evil!!! why can't you post it all at the same time! It's like drugs! :/




:D

Evil? Drugs? Don't tempt me... I'm just trying to keep it from being too hard to read. You don't want anyone else to get lost like poor SuicuneSol, do you?

Still, here's just a little more while you're waiting. I don't want you to start thinking me too evil, so just consider it an extra. Don't go getting into any bad habits, now...

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Golden Sun games, or anything I quote at the start of a chapter.

"They say such nice things about people at their funerals
that it makes me sad to realize
I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
Gary Keillor

Chapter 3: Overwhelmed by an Empty Room.

After leaving to collect all their best weapons, armour and accessories, any awake and helpful Djinn, and in Mia's case, a pair of shoes, the rescue party re-assembled in Isaac's room. Sheba had teleported to Champa to find someone to take over from Piers for such an important event, and he was still taking it in as Isaac addressed the group.

"Firstly, we need to find him, so how about just teleporting to Vault and setting up a temporary teleport path between here and the Aleph Memorial when we get there?" Isaac suggested.

"I'll take care of that, then." Ivan agreed, crossing the room and starting to trace with lines of golden light an inch above the floor the design displayed on each of the many brass teleport pads nearby.

"At the memorial, we search together, and if- when we find him, focus on Sheba for his free teleportation. We try and sort out any immediate problems while we're out there, come back to the palace with a plan, then tell King Hydros and everyone else in the morning, assuming there's something to tell them." Isaac finished. "Sound good?" Everyone nodded in assent.

"I'm done. Let's go." Ivan called the others over to the Vault path, the ninth pad to the right of his completed pattern. Hoping for the best, eight figures disappeared into the night.

As soon as they arrived in the center of Vault, they each started shaping a hovering platform from movement Alchemy. Time was an issue, so they didn't bother adding the usual transparent colour to make them visible; everyone could see them with a similar sort of vision to the Reveal psynergy used by the Adepts of old. Stepping on and letting them go in a sudden blur of movement, the single file train of Alchemists flew too fast to be visible anyway.

In the shadow of the Aleph Memorial, the party drew to a halt, letting their transport dissolve. They all spared the familiar gray pillar the briefest of sad glances, before holding hands to form a circle facing inwards. Ivan spread the second symbol of his pathway on the grass behind him, then closed his eyes with the others. Eight minds explored the currents in the air above their heads. When everyone was there, the group expanded it's focus and started it's search.

After half an hour following the faults in the rock, when the vast deepening spiral they had searched reached so far down it was getting hard to believe anyone was there, they finally came across a figure that might be alive. At least, they couldn't sense it well enough to know it wasn't dead. Sheba held in her mind two images, the body and the grass between them all, while the others completed the teleportation. It wasn't easy to transport anything like this, without a path mapped out, but these eight friends had been working together for a very long time. They were done in an instant.

The man who appeared before them was undoubtedly Alex. They'd placed him on his feet, and for a second, they just stared in disbelief at a perfect replica of eight memories. The thickly bound boots, the deep purple armour, tunic, gloves and cloak, none of them bore the slightest rip or stain. His skin showed no trace of the smallest cut or bruise. Even his hair, still that vivid pastel blue, was the same length as when they'd seen it last. It was as if nothing had changed for fifty years. The moment soon ended, though, when Alex toppled over backwards without twitching a muscle.

Felix stepped forwards with a slightly less startled expression than the others, watching Alex lie there like a statue.

"Do you think we were too late?" He asked, puzzled.

Before a reply could be attempted, Alex started to answer them all himself. He collapsed properly, his limbs lying limp along the ground as his head fell sharply by another half inch. After several unsure attempts, he lifted one arm in front of his face, watching his fingers twitch with a frown that soon turned into a long, gleeful laugh. Still not taking his eyes off his hand for a moment, he tried to get up, overbalancing the first time to fall forwards instead. Once he managed to fully stand up, he found himself facing Felix, and stood staring at him through the gaps in the fingers of the arm he was still holding up. Alex was resting easily on perfectly fit muscles with an unreadable expression on his face, but as he stared at Felix his other arm curled up across his chest, clutching a handful of tunic nervously, and his legs started to shake. Alex turned around, slowly, trembling, gazing through his fingers at each of his rescuers in turn. Finally looking up at the moon and lowering his hand, Alex started speaking to those who surrounded him, as tears started to fall across his face.

"Idiots. A world above what I was in the end. So backwards too, freedom and power without possessing or seeking any of the elegance… You'd think that would give me more when I lost mine, but then I was too far along the end of the scale, less than mud to the breathing humans. Though that should have granted me infinity, so maybe that logic doesn't work, just like the try in the sky didn't. So you can't have got your power from lack of grace and hope if it was everything I never feared enough to dread… So was it sentiment? Must be. Nothing else about you all at all. Pity, mere thought of which brought the greatest low, brings the touch of air back. Thought I knew it perfectly, but sensation is another world now. Remembered the sun wrong, didn't I? Just look at it. Light. It's grown brighter." Still gazing at the night sky, Alex tried to wipe away the tears that kept falling from his wide-open eyes.

"That… That's the moon, Alex. Not the sun." Jenna stepped forwards, speaking gently. She didn't know what else to say.

I see you haven't posted in a while. Is that because you got no feedback?
If so, then I'm sorry XP

Great chapter ^_^ Please post more! I wanna know what happens! :}

o_O


Curses. Now I have to come back here and keep reading this.

Where is Rozzlyn? Surely she didn't just "disappear" all at once. Most members gradually go away before they're completely gone.

Ah, no, I didn't disappear, I - I just got really busy, and I haven't had time to sit down and finish reading The Fifth Age and write my review of the end yet, and I'd feel too guilty doing anything else first, but - but I'm gonna try and do that tonight, now, so - *starts to feel dizzy*

Good. I thought you were a goner! XP
Don't leave without saying bye!
I fact.. Don't leave at all! :}

Oh good! I was afraid we lost a good member for a while...Welcome back, Rozzlyn!

Of course I wouldn't leave! The net has been an integral part of my existance for years and will be until the day I die, and now I've found a place where I can contribute and - and people want me to be here, this site is... possibly the most important place on the net to me. (I say possibly, as where would we be without Google?) I don't always know when I'll be busy, though, and I certainly couldn't have predicted it would take me so long to continue - my life is rather chaotic - so don't say 'welcome back', I never left! Or being 'here' may prove to be difficult, at times. Unless - do I need to be here more frequently to count as... something?

Well, I've written as much of my review of Fifth Age as I can manage tonight - it's now 1.00 AM. (It'd be nice if you could see what you think about the points I raised about Marlin's story - you were already reading it, so, you know, we could talk about it there, couldn't we?) Anyway, I'm too tired to write more review now, so I may as well post more of KRHP before I go to bed, as you... don't really need to wait any longer. (Why is there no embarrased smiley? I'd wear it out...)

Oh, and is there any way of centering text?

Chapter 3: Overwhelmed by an Empty Room.

"That… That's the moon, Alex. Not the sun." Jenna stepped forwards, speaking gently. She didn't know what else to say.

"I know!" Yelled Alex, trying to cover up his mistake, whirling round to face her then tripping up as he backed away from her. Curling up around his knees, he kept yelling, staring at the ground. "I know the moon when I see it! Do you think I could mistake fire for rock? Right for wrong? I sought one and found the other! I just… I just need water, and I'll have a place here where I get it all right, I'll show you! Water, to put behind me the fire you denied me, to preserve the what I can of what I still am, and I'll do without what I lost, just keep me from the rock!"

#Felix might have had a point. We could be way too late.# Piers sent privately to Sheba.

"We promised we'd help you, Alex. We will." Sheba answered both men. Piers gazed at her. Nothing would ever daunt her. He'd first seen that in Garoh, when she was still a child, lecturing a sage and a werewolf on the wind's power to move mountains. Since then she had only grown bolder. She would do this. He never should have doubted it.

Alex lifted his head at Sheba's words and glanced around cautiously. The memorial pillar by which the group had assembled finally caught his attention. He tilted his head to read the list carved into one tall, flattened side, and the whole group turned to read with him.

The Aleph memorial had been one of their first projects after the return of Alchemy. It hadn't seemed right to rebuild Vale, a place that had guarded an age which had been killing the planet, had housed the stars that inspired a quest with many casualties, and had been proudly xenophobic when civilization was now trying to unite and grow. Instead, they had used this historic site to record forever the lives that had been lost just before the world had been put right. It read:

'May all those who visit this memorial honour the memories of
Mark, Paul and Stephen of Vale,
Who protected their people in a tragic storm,
Karnin, Tredenna, Gardi and Mirus of Prox,
Who fell in search of protection for their people,
Timothy of Vault,
An innocent young soul lost in chaotic times,'

Down through the list, recreating the journey of the elemental stars from the damage it had caused, until it reached the difficult names. It had taken a while to decide what to do about those who had put other people on the list, or tried to, but almost all of them were mourned by someone, somewhere, so the end was reserved for the names of the aggressive and the cruel:

'Saturos and Menardi of Prox,
Who achieved more for the good of the world than many before them,
Karst and Agatio of Prox,
Who with grief stricken hearts, gave their all for the planet,
Alex, disowned,
Who died.'

Mia had only agreed that Alex's name be added to the list of souls to be honoured on the condition that he wasn't linked to her peaceful home town, and no-one could think of any fitting praise greater than his inclusion.

"Didn't know I was dead." Alex whispered bleakly. "Knew I was hated."

"Let's get out of here." Isaac sighed. "It's a cold enough night as it is."
The group gathered on the glowing symbol Ivan had prepared, ready to leave. No one really wanted to touch Alex, but after a few seconds, he got up and followed silently on his own.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sitting on the floor in the farthest corner from the door of his new room in the palace, Alex had a lot to think about. They'd left him here, saying he needed some time to himself, and promising to check on him before the morning. He could sense two of them sitting outside, standing guard, so he knew he wasn't really alone again. He wouldn't have put up with that.

Sight and touch were very important senses. He'd missed them more than he'd realized. The feeling of cloth, carpet, hair, skin, leather, wood, it was all as he'd remembered it, but now he was sitting here he couldn't get enough of it. The dark room was full of detail he was busy drinking in, memorizing. Then, there was what he'd just seen.

For some reason, he'd imagined the old Adepts either the way they'd looked as teenagers, or looking in their sixties, like Kraden or Obaba. Alchemy was obviously going to slow their aging though, Lemurian psynergy had done that for Babi even when the world had been starved of the elements, and these people seemed to live in Lemuria! Piers only looked two or three years older, while most of the others seemed to have stopped indefinitely in their mid twenties. Clearly Piers' origin still set him apart, but probably not as drastically as it had in the past. Isaac barely looked a year older, and Alex knew who he had to thank… But he wasn't going to start thinking about that, not here, not now, or who knew how long it would last?

Though Alex had disliked many people in his life, he'd never had a problem ignoring this when choosing his alliances. It had been so simple to dismiss his feelings to forward a plan, or even to play a situation for amusement. The grudge he now held against Isaac for taking what was his, blundering around, being irritatingly predictable and nice, for not doing a thing to look for him until he'd already suffered so much… This grudge was one he couldn't shake, even though he needed Isaac on his side until he figured out what to do next. Even stranger than this, even harder to figure out, was how as he'd seen all their faces he had been flooded with gratitude. He'd ached to reach out and touch them, human company after spending most of his life alone. This feeling was so strong towards Isaac, who had heard him, answered him and gone out to save him… How could he both like and hate someone? Either would have been bad enough, but both? Alex wished he could just not care again. He'd seen what they thought of him, it was all written on their faces. How long until he could deal with them properly, without his emotions getting in the way? Dismay at how out of place in this world he had seemed to them all didn't help. He had to assume there was something he could bargain with to find it.

Right now it was all just too strange, to be thinking and feeling and sensing new things again. Nothing ever used to change however many years he waited; now they changed every second. Alex was scared to keep his eyes open, and while he was annoyed at how ridiculous this was, it was still only the joy of seeing again that meant he couldn't even try to close them.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Mia walked up to Alex's room with a glass of water, greeting Isaac and Felix who sat just outside the door, keeping watch. Felix never had any trouble staying awake, while Isaac felt responsible for Alex now.

"I see you got the water he asked for." Felix noted. "If he was really asking for water."

"He used to be a Mercury Adept, like me. I figure he'll appreciate it even if he's not thirsty." Mia said quietly. "Have there been any problems?"

"No, nothing." Isaac stretched, stifling a yawn. "He's been totally silent, and I haven't sensed him use any Alchemy either. We're just letting him rest."

"Right. I'll go see how he's doing, then." Mia entered the dark room, closing the door behind her.

"Alex?" Mia saw him, huddled in the far corner, and approached him with a frown. "There are plenty of chairs, and a bed if you're tired. You can move, you know."

Alex lifted his head at her voice, but aside from that stayed as absolutely still as before. Mia shivered. She'd forgotten about how he still wasn't blinking again.

"I know." Alex replied, with a totally calm voice. "Movement takes far less energy to maintain than the shield did. The curse wasn't such a trap after all. It just used it at the worst possible time."

"I have a drink for you, if you want it." Mia changed the subject, not feeling like trying to interpret anything right now. She placed the glass on the floor in front of him, as he didn't lift his hand.

Alex just stared at the water at first, a captivated smile creeping across his face. When he raised his hand, it wasn't to pick it up; he raised it in a slow, upwards spiral, getting wider and faster as it got higher. The water followed his example, trailing up and out of the glass in lazy arcs through the air, forming the shape of a whirlpool.

Mia smiled. It was just the sort of thing Alex used to do as a child, when his grandmother gave them both lessons. Mess around, experiment. She'd never figured out exactly where he started to go bad. Had he even then planned to conquer the world? Her smile vanished without a trace.

Alex reached out with his other hand, brushing it across the surface of the liquid structure, fragmenting it into a spiral of shimmering, hovering droplets. He lowered his hands, then finally leaned forwards, gently blowing on the water. As Mia blinked, it hardened into ice. Alex lifted the uppermost fragment between his fingers, up to eye level. He closed his palms over it, and held them there, suddenly frowning.

"Too cold." Alex muttered, disturbed.

"If it's cold, then drop it!" Mia snapped. He was acting so pathetic now. She wished they'd never found him.

"If something's there, and you're there, there's no getting away." Alex was confused by her words. Then he remembered how things used to be. It was so obvious. Put it down on a table, drop it on the floor, just walk off… Millions of times. There had been space. Like here.

"It's too late now, anyway." He amended, opening his palms. The ice was gone. He'd absorbed it all.

Mia froze at his words. Was he saying that now he was here, she was stuck with him? She hadn't thought he'd read her mind. Surely she'd have felt it?

"You're not guaranteed a place here for good." Mia warned. "The King still has to hear about you, and if you're too much trouble, we won't be recommending he keep you around. If he thinks you're still a criminal mastermind at heart, there's no way he'll risk keeping you in prison. You'd be executed."

"Ah, but that didn't work, did it?" Alex countered, standing up. He still felt he shouldn't look too small when people were making threats. "It told me when it set me up, how special a case it was that could kill me." There wasn't much emotion in his voice when he said this, standing flat against the wall. He wasn't trapped with that thought right now.

"Something caused the earthquake that destroyed Vale and Mt. Aleph just to try and kill you?" Mia gasped incredulously.

"Perhaps. It could have just made use of circumstance. What does it matter?" Alex asked.

"The people of Vale only escaped because the Wise One- don't you dare flinch, that's its name- the Wise One warned them! Whatever was after you could have killed them all, just because of you! Of course it matters!"

"Well, there you go. It saved them, and brought a mountain down on me. If you hate me so much, it doesn't matter, does it?" Alex was still speaking calmly, but he was putting a lot of effort into not letting more tears form in his eyes. That mountain...

"No. The Wise One confronted you, stopped you doing any harm, then left when the earthquake interrupted, thinking you might escape and wanting to finish things with you another time. That's what it told us. That's the memory it showed us! The Wise One saved the world by allowing the return of Alchemy once Isaac proved we could govern it unselfishly, and by keeping you from messing that up!" Mia knew this to be the absolute truth and she leaned forward, forcing the message through with a steely voice and narrowed eyes.

Alex leaned back against the wall, slowly shaking his head. He couldn't accept any of this.

"Deceitful rock… You rule the world?" He whispered, wide eyed. This was far more than he'd expected when he'd guessed at what she might have been up to.

"We govern Alchemy, that's all." Mia knew she had to explain this clearly. Alex had to know there was no room for a Master of Alchemy. "Being connected to a specific element all our lives made our Alchemy particularly strong in areas that draw on that element, so each of us mainly deals with that sort of Alchemy. We work closely with the leaders of every town, city, village and settlement in training people in Alchemy, especially youths and other teachers, utilizing Alchemy to bring forward civilization, and sometimes still settling disputes between towns. We're trusted and influential, but a big part of the training we've set up is to help children appreciate the beauty of Alchemy in a peaceful society… To stop them turning into psychos who want to take over the world." Mia finished bitterly. She'd managed to avoid following with the even crueler phrase, 'turning into the next Alex', which she and her friends had often used when discussing such matters.

"Always have to think of me like that! No idea what I could have done! What I might have done!" Alex tried to shout, but her overwhelming words were making him very afraid. Where was his confidence in himself and his plans? Not that he'd had much of an idea what he'd have done with the world, as long as he made everything possible for himself. Why was he afraid? Surely he'd never believe her, never hate himself? "True power's majesty and… You haven't righted every wrong, have you?" He finished in an accusatory tone that somehow wasn't quite rhetorical.

Mia stepped back, disgusted.

"You know, when we were growing up in Imil, you may have been distant and impossible to guess at, but you were of the Mercury clan, like me. You helped me with the duties I accepted, when we were the last two, and I considered you a friend… Almost like a brother." Mia's voice wavered a little, but she kept on. "When you disappeared, you left me alone. When you came back, I wished you'd stayed lost. Now you're back again, I really wish you'd died!"

Mia stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Isaac and Felix got up, concerned, as Mia leaned against the wall breathing heavily.

"Are you all right? We heard you two arguing about something." Isaac asked worriedly.

"About everything. And I'm fine, thanks. I really don't know why I didn't just go back to bed. I have plans with Larran this evening, I don't want to fall asleep on him!" Mia straightened up, trying to smile for her friends.

"Which one is he again? The sophisticated Lemurian scholar? Oh wait, that covers all your boyfriends for decades…" Felix teased.

"Oh, shut up." Mia laughed. "Larran's an architect, anyway."

"Going anywhere nice?" Isaac asked.

"Of course, it's our one month anniversary. We're going to hover a yard from the edge of Gaia Falls and have a picnic. I'm bringing a bottle of the champagne Iodem gave us all at the Lighthouse Festival last year." Mia replied, really smiling now.

"Sounds very romantic." Felix offered sincerely.

"Thanks. I'll see you later." Mia headed back to her room, around the corner and out of sight.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Alex sank back down to the floor, watching the door slam shut. So Mia wished he was dead, did she? Well, he could do worse to her, if she thought him so awful, he could - What had he just figured out, though, about being able to drop things once they'd started? He wasn't stuck with his thoughts anymore, having to watch them all go round and round however long he tried to put them off, until he'd been through every miserable detail a thousand or more times. Alex pushed the worst of his conversation with Mia to the back of his mind, and thought back over the rest. She'd seen him as a brother? He'd never realized that. Strange.

Kneeling forwards, Alex lifted his ice sculpture a few inches into the air, then held his hands out beneath it. Alex pushed out all the cold, sent it away from himself and the gift he'd been given. Instantly, the suspended droplets poured down into his palms, and he splashed it all over his face. Water felt so pure, so refreshing. He had to figure out how to make this stuff himself again.

Felix opened the door wide, sending a ray of light across the carpet. Alex looked up, wondering what this was about.

"Are you just going to sit there all night? Everyone else is getting some sleep now." Felix asked coldly.

"Don't sleep." Alex shook his head. "Not anymore."

"Try it anyway." Felix advised. "It might help you sort some stuff out." Felix closed the door, having only wanted to make sure Alex wasn't going to cause any more trouble. Mia had been incredibly upset.

Alex wondered if he really should try sleeping. He was afraid it might make things worse. No one else had thoughts like his to sort out, did they? Still, anything was worth a try when he had so long to find a way forward. Alex closed his eyes, but they shot open instantly as he jumped up in alarm. He could still see it. The granite surface that had been fixed on front of him for fifty years was still there, exactly as he'd sensed it, engraved on the back of his eyelids. He'd only just got out! There was no way he was closing his eyes again, no way he was dreaming of that.

These were the first minutes he'd gone without it near him for a long, long time. He knew it's exact density and temperature inside out. He knew exactly how it had fractured all those times it had started to crush him, exactly how it had splintered. Yet he'd never been able to run his fingers along its surface, find out what it felt like. He was touching so much else now, yet a sensation so near to him was missing.

Alex glared at the bed in the center of the room, ordering it to race out of the way and slam into the wall. The bed rose by half an inch and started to gently float off. Groaning in frustration, Alex walked over and pushed it himself. Walking back to the center, Alex pictured the first few feet of granite in front of him. At this height there was less pressure, which would make it this dense, this big… He kept going, filling the room with rock.

Once he finished, he looked around. His little crevice was much bigger like this, wide enough for him to spread his arms out either side and just brush both walls. Alex sent a little light into his hands and ran his fingers along the grainy surface of the rock, mesmerized by the dryness and roughness, the way the little crystals glinted in the light. This was beautifully new, but so familiar too. Very safe. Alex stood up and closed his eyes, falling instantly asleep.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Alex? What's going on? Are you all right in there?" Isaac's muffled voice slowly roused Alex from a deep, calm sleep. Blocking out the annoying noise, he opened his eyes. He gasped, too horrified to scream. He was trapped again, cursed and crushed, going to die, going to die-

No. It was just the copy he'd made. Why? Why had he put himself through that? Alex clenched his fists, furious at the rock, crying at the sight of it, punching it with all his strength. Well, there was pain, something else familiar. Alex looked down. He'd smashed his fist. Bits of bone were poking through his skin, dripping blood onto the steep granite and sandstone floor. Not as bad as his injuries when he was there for real, but still, the sharp agony, the sickening ache, it took him away from his thoughts. That was still something of a relief. Alex reached for power to mend the injury and felt a flood of golden warmth heal it completely, taking less than a second. Of course, he had a lot more power spare now, didn't he? Movement almost left him far too much to appreciate his injury. The way the pain would lift bit by bit, getting better and better. It had always been quite a diversion. At least his arm felt better now. He just had to get out. He couldn't bear it in here.

Scanning the seams of the rock, Alex realized he hadn't left himself a way out. He still couldn't destroy the rock, and it filled the room, he couldn't move the two pieces apart. No way out, again! Fear and panic swamping his mind, Alex started pounding madly at the walls, yelling;

"Help! Help! Get me out of here!"

Great chapter, like always! Please post the next one soon ;)

Ah, soonish. If I go too fast, I'll leave everyone behind. Just - I see you said something about feedback a while back. Don't worry, I'd never withhold chapters for feedback. I want you to enjoy this story, if it's good enough. I don't want anyone to stress, feeling like they have to try and be an editor or anything.

It's just... I started writing fanfic as an attempt to talk with people about the game, telling them my views in an interesting way (hopefully interesting, at least) and wanting to hear other people's views too - to use the fanfic to bring up topics we could have a conversation about. Instead, everyone's all hushed like this is some kinda library. Instead of writing Alex as the aloof, hot guy the game portrays him as (complete with a woman at the inn drooling over him), I've turned him into an insane youth! Does nobody have anything to say about that? Does nobody mind?

I'm not very much for long posts, they tend to get very complicated to type, so I'll just write something short;
Well.. It is kind of understandable (how do you spell that?), since he's been isolated for a very long time. People tend to go a bit crazy after being alone, with only one view, with no sound, and only your mind to entertain you.
I still however, think that this story has an extremely good plot, and is well thought out. 10/10 points.

I hope that made sense >.<

You don't like writing long posts, and you still wrote me that! Thanks. You spelled understandable right. I generally check stuff as I read/type - I always have a dictiontionary/thesaurus site open in a second window. (That's the only reason I don't make tons of mistakes.) I just looked up logorrhoeic and perspicuity not half an hour ago, in fact - I hadn't the slightest idea what either meant.

Yeah, people go crazy when driven crazy. I'd have thought that there would've been no view, with no light, and that there might have been noise; the rumblings of the earth shifting every so often, cracking sounds whenver it splintered, that sort of thing, wouldn't there? And his thoughts were often more torture than entertainment. (Well, entertainment to him. ^_^ Unless you're not as sadistic as me.)

Still, that wasn't what I was actually talking about; many plots, in badfic, logically create situations to realistically develop a character and destroy all that was good about them in canon. To quote Elsa Bibat's essay on darkfic, "A Long Strange Walk": "Those who really don't like seeing their favourite characters slaughtered or emotionally and mentally scarred for life are advised not to read anything with a [DARK] tag or warning." I know this story's not that bad - everyone so far's seemed to like it, and besides, I'm aiming to use and revel in all the many facets of Alex's personality here, not replace them, like those authors. I'm just thinking, surely not everyone finds it fun to see Alex like this: His game personality was someone who was calm in the face of all danger - inside an erupting volcano, on an island about to be hit by a tidal wave - everywhere except Mt Alpeh, in fact. A lot of people hated the way the ending seemed to turn him into a 'cliche baddie', but I found it sort of moving that someone with such total control over his emotions showed so much longing for that little ball of light; like the ice cracked, and for the first time, the desire burning in his heart showed through. In Fifth Age, Marlin says that thousands of years trapped in the centre of the planet didn't break Alex, and that excellent fic is a real testament to that character's strong side. The more vulnerable side of Alex is used in this fic, though, the side that got all hysterical then got beat up, and that scene of the game is the one so many people complain about and try to explain away or ignore in their fanfic. So... what did you think of the game's ending?

(It's nice to hear you think this fic works so well (flattery is always nice!), but I did mean it when I said I wanted to chat more than get rated out of ten and such - I don't want to put you to any trouble, really!)

Plus, I used the word youth there too; most authors who indicate Alex's age make him older than the other characters (well, except Saturos and Menardi), and one writer I talk with says she'd have placed him at at least twenty seven, he was so 'elegant' and 'powerful'. I've made him sixteen, and he hasn't aged except in that years have passed. Playing through GS, would you have seen him as a boy of that age?

Don't worry about a long post in reply if you're not overly fond of them - I think I've only asked three things. Oh, and if nobody else has caught up by tomorrow, I'll just post the next chapter for you anyway - after all, you did read the last chapter.

Edit: Here's the start of the next post, as it's far too far over the limit to manage in one. Yours was another long post! Thanks! I'm from England. First time through, seeing Alex climb Mt Aleph - I was stunned. I didn't see how it could be possible to come within reach of infinite power over reality; it seemed beyond anything that could be done in any game. When it was revealed he didn't have the complete golden sun, that brought it back to a realistic event, albeit in an underwhelming way. So while it was seeing him having his dream taken away just when he'd recieved it, it was also a relief hearing that the holy grail would remain.

Alex's reaction confirmed how evil and self-centered a person he was for me too, but when that sort of power could have turned many good or evil... Reading fics, I like situations that make him react in a further evil way, and those that show other sides of him, as long as they're true to the character - how evil he is doesn't seem as fundamental to his personality as other things, and by using his vulnerable side I hope to explore some of those things. Alex was very strong minded. I think most townspeople/villagers would be able to take a week or two of being buried so painfully and hopelessly before it would be too much for them, and they'd die and be done with it; I don't think I could cope any better with torture either. The heroes would last a few years, perhaps, but to hold out for an entire five decades... That credits Alex with being phenomenally strong minded.

And he didn't quite snap, not totally, just came a little unhinged; he'll do a little better after he's had a good night's sleep. If he'd managed everything through pure strength, healthy confidence and in-control willpower and the like - that would be crediting him with too much, I think, when he was only human. Some of the traits that make him seem maladjusted now he's rescued helped him get through the time he was trapped, and were visible in the game, making him look evil and strong-minded then; I think he was more than a little unhinged in the game too. Like, the way he had no use for people he didn't need to manipulate in the game meant he didn't miss the people he knew as severely as anyone else would have, and it's now messing him up; if a normal person survived a traumatic experience, they wouldn't feel that they shouldn't be grateful to their rescuers, and they could shed tears and recieve comfort, deal with it a little easier. That's part of why I made Alex sixteen; in the game his being a selfish, loner teenager would help explain some things, and his strength of will and planning at such a young age makes him all the more exceptional, but it also means that to not allow himself comfort and sympathy after a terrible experience when he's mentally still a kid - that's a sign of something not quite right, but it's also sign of him not having completely changed. So when you say you didn't think a person like Alex would snap - didn't you think him already a little out of shape, less healthy than normal, in the game itself? Or did you really think that was mature, steady evilness?

My image of the Wise One didn't change either. That one's just wise. Plus, it saved the world. So... actually, my opinion of it improved. Though it seemed careless of it to let Alex (possibly) live. I've come up with a solution to that, but it won't be here for a while. It's my fault you misunderstood; I said 'still see it'! I'll have to change it, soon as I find a replacement that fits.

"The boy looked at Johnny
He said 'Don't you know who I think I am?'
Well I knew you once before
Now I'm trying all I can."
The Libertines, 'The Boy Looked At Johnny'

Chapter 4: Trying to be Alex

Isaac frowned and stepped back as the others behind him looked on, equally puzzled. He'd opened the door to be faced with a blank wall of rock, and asking Alex what he was doing in there had been as good as asking the wall.

"Do you think he's gone?" Jenna asked.

"He could be telling us to leave him alone." Ivan suggested.

"We're going to have to look eventually." Piers pointed out.

"Shh! I hear something!" Mia quieted everyone, and they heard Alex finally asking for help again.

Isaac and Felix stood on either side of the door, each placing a hand on the surface of the rock. After a slight pause, the entire mass of stone dissolved into nothing. Everyone stared as a wild eyed, panting, sweat soaked Alex fell from three feet up in the air, collapsing on the ground with a quiet thud. Still shivering, Alex picked himself up, turning to face them.

"Never seen him this energetic before." Felix called over his shoulder to someone Alex couldn't see, before stepping back with the others. King Hydros came into view, approaching the door and drawing to a halt at the threshold. The King waited, surveying the man who stood before him. Alex stepped forwards curiously, looking a lot calmer. Isaac noted with surprise that even the sweat seemed to have been drawn back into his skin.

"So, Alex. I'm glad to finally make your acquaintance." The King opened the conversation for him, wondering what sort of character he would turn out to be. His first impression certainly hadn't been very promising.

"Majesty. What's it like to have so much majesty about you?" The King opened his mouth, but Alex hadn't finished and didn't seem to notice. "You have Alchemy. Are you strong?"

"Fairly strong, yes." The King replied, much amused.

"Same here." Alex tilted his head sympathetically. "Nothing ever turns out infinite, does it?"

"Does it need to?" Asked the King.

"You don't enjoy your reign? Don't wish to rule eternally?" Alex asked mildly.

"There is satisfaction to be had from doing what I can for my people, certainly, but I could never wish away a well earned rest at the end. More importantly now, do you still wish to rule the world?" The King questioned him.

"Sure, if you're offering. Two sugars, no milk." Alex replied.

"I wasn't offering." The King replied honestly, even if Alex had been sarcastic. "What are your plans, in that case, now you've been 'brought back into the real world', if that was how you put it?"

"See what the real world is doing. That's a must." Alex replied like it was obvious. "When I knew of everything but one rock, the mountain I'd presumed to rule ruled me. Prevention is everything."

"Yes, prevention is everything, and I am here to prevent you being a problem. I'll have to keep an eye on you, but for now I see no problem with the supervision of the Governors of Alchemy. This room is yours, indefinitely." The King stepped back with a smile. "I must say, as a King, it is rather refreshing to see a man such as yourself stand and face me as an equal."

"What are you saying?" Alex called angrily after the King as he walked away to inform the senate.

"He's saying you're an evil madman." Felix replied scornfully.

"I'm not… mad… or" -

"So says the man who just filled his room with stone." Felix interrupted, glaring at him.

"Well, it looks like Hama was right. Alex was worth saving." Piers commented, watching his King go with pride then holding Sheba's hand the same way. "You were right to forgive him, like we thought."

"Of course. I just wish I knew what potential the King saw in him to come to that conclusion just from that conversation…" Sheba wondered.

"We'll see soon enough. King Hydros has always been the best judge of character on Weyard." Ivan contributed. "I'm just glad Conservato's retired. He may have been one of the first to accept Alchemy, but this would still make him so mad…"

"We'll have to go tell him, won't we?" Garet grinned.

"You know you can't! He'll have another heart attack!" Jenna reminded him.

"Yeah, I know." Garet admitted. "But he's got to hear it sometime, and I'm not missing it."

"Do you have to be anywhere today, though? We need to decide what we're going to do with him." Felix walked over, leaving Alex lost in thought.

"I'm busy." Mia answered first. "I had to be here for this, but there's a new installation at Mercury Lighthouse I've got to oversee." She left in a hurry.

"I'm not free yet either. Neikul will be waiting for us to help sort those kids out. And when the camping holiday's over we're taking them up to Mars Lighthouse for their test. See how much they haven't learned." Garet told them.

"The trip was scheduled to end today anyway." Jenna added. "We'll be free by evening, though I'd really rather spend some time back in Prox before I go anywhere else. I'll just have to see if I'm needed by then." Jenna and Garet walked into Isaac's room, just opposite Alex's.

"We can't abandon ship for too long when the rest of the crew's still at sea! It'll be cutting the session short, but we can be docked by evening and free from then on too." Piers spoke for Sheba and himself, before turning to follow her into Isaac's room.

"Isaac, aren't you and Ivan attending the trade conference between Biblin and Kalt this morning?" Felix asked, a little worried. He did not want to be stuck on his own for this.

"Hey, don't worry. I can manage without you." Ivan volunteered. "I may be going as a Weyard Trade and Communication Councilor, but I’m sure I can act as the attending Governor of Alchemy at the same time, if that's what's needed."

"Thanks." Isaac and Felix gave Ivan identical relieved and grateful smiles. Isaac hated sitting around worrying while other people dealt with his problems.

"I should have known better than to make this week a holiday from 'everything except emergencies'. That was a sure way to summon something like this." Felix joked, not looking at all put out. Unusual trouble tended to be interesting when he had company.

"You'd better decide where you're going - hey, wait." Ivan realized something. "Alex just got up, he hasn't had brekf- He hasn't eaten for decades!" Everyone felt rather stupid, only realizing this now even after Mia's glass of water… Alex just hadn't looked thin and starved when they'd found him, and no one usually thought about food in the middle of the night.

"Alex? Would you like something to eat?" Isaac called over to him.

"Food?" Alex turned, puzzled. Sure, food had sometimes tasted quite good, but the new input from all his other senses was distracting enough and he had bigger issues to deal with. Unless they thought… "I don't need food." He informed them. "Nothing destructive about nourishment, so I get it directly from the elements - they're what food is made of anyway."

"Don't you just want to taste something again, for fun?" Ivan asked. The way Alex was responding to everything else now, Ivan had been sure he would have appreciated taste too.

"Fun? Gathering in pointless circles, grinning like idiots? I worked for so much more than that! Don't think I've lost enough hope to sit around haplessly tracing smiley faces in the air!" Alex snarled at Ivan. There was no way he could… he had to have more than that left!

"I'll just leave this to you two." Ivan told the others quietly, walking off without another word. Felix knew another of his friends had been hurt. Ivan and Mia were so sensitive. Still, now that they’d rescued him, did Alex plan to insult and alienate everyone again?

"So, you want to learn about the world? How about visiting the House of Light?" Felix suggested.

"You should get more of an overview there than at any of the Lighthouses." Isaac agreed. "We can introduce you to Kraden too… though I don't think he'll be glad to see you, so we'll find someone in another department to teach you."

"Where is" -

"Not far from the palace." Felix interrupted. "So you won't have far to walk. Save your questions until then."

Felix and Isaac started down the corridor, both glancing over their shoulder impatiently at Alex to indicate he should be following. Alex walked after them, wondering how much power and symmetry they really possessed. If he found a new plan, would he ever be able to play them all again?

Oh.. I seem to have misunderstood.

Anyway, the ending of Golden Sun was..I dunno.. Seeing him climb Mount Aleph actually made me happy. '-_- Finally reaching his goals :P My image of the wise one, however, didn't change. I still thought of "it" as a powerful being of overwhelming intellect.
Alex showing his "weak" side at the end of Golden Sun didn't change my mind about him. I can just imagine what it must be like, having your dream taken away from you, just when you received it. It's like winning a car, and then finding out there's nothing inside. It made me think of him as an even more evil and self-centered person.

I thought of him as a very strong-minded person, and I am... I'm not surprised.. but still.. I didn't think a person like Alex would snap.

Wow! Another "long" post! I'm making my way toward the elites :P

Where are you from anyway? I'm from Sweden..

Starts last post, as exceeds 60,000 character post limit by several thousand and I won't double post.

Chapter 4: Trying to be Alex (Continued)

The House of Light, Alex decided, certainly lived up to its name. It had been visible from the palace gates, once he'd recovered from the sheer blueness of the sky. Alex had stared at the sun for a full minute before Isaac and Felix got tired of standing around. The sun did seem far brighter than he'd remembered, but then he'd never been able to look directly at it before. Lemuria's silvery stone pillars and archways, set against the rich green grass and pure blue of the sea and sky surrounding the island, gave it all an air both of refreshing, exposed openness, and impossibly ancient magnificence. Resting on one of the city's lower slopes, the House of Light shone brilliantly white past the dusty silver of the other buildings. Drawing closer had revealed its shape, a perfect hemisphere like a pearl the width of the palace embedded in the earth. Standing right next to the building, Alex could see it had been constructed of the same stone as its surroundings with a shadow thin layer of light across its surface. The four elemental colours intertwined in a billion momentary whirls and swirls up close, blurring into a dazzling white from any further than a yard away. Alex didn't like much, but he found himself liking Lemuria a great deal.

Rather than finding a vast space inside, Alex was surprised to enter a tiny chamber with only one other door on the opposite wall next to a panel of glowing buttons. These were labeled with words like 'Chemistry', 'Physics', 'Optics' and 'Mythology'.

"Different aspects of Alchemy." Isaac briefly explained, the same moment Felix said "Different ways of studying Alchemy." Alex nodded, getting the idea.

Isaac pressed 'Philosophy' and the room glowed golden for an instant. Felix opened the door, presumably to the part of the building designated to this aspect of study, leading Alex into a moderately vast room full of chairs, tables, charts and fiercely debating scholars of a mix of hair colours. They soon found Kraden deep in conversation with a Lemurian woman.

"Ah, Felix, Isaac, good timing." Kraden greeted without turning round. "Meda was just arguing that the infinite nature of Alchemy must rule out the existence of God; care to help me explain that it might just make God a necessity?"

"But it's obvious!" Meda started, eyes glinting happily. "Take what happened in the Unlit Age; without being sufficiently replenished, earth was worn away by wind and water, while the seas were lost to evaporation and to Gaia Falls. It's been proven that most material manifestations of air can be dissolved in water, so the atmosphere too was being depleted. Heat dissipates; if we didn't receive heat and light continuously from the Sun, a body entirely of the element fire, Weyard would be lost to cold and darkness. The elements which compose everything in existence enter continuous decay once in existence, so only the eternal renewal of elemental force can be infinite; the eternal maintenance of reality. The stone of sages could link one soul to the essence of Alchemy, renewing them forever from this source. If God was behind the constant creation of the elements and God ensured eternal justice, why would this stone grant any human, good or evil, the same eternal and infinitely powerful state?"

"Look at it like this." Kraden enthusiastically countered. "Each human is composed, in part, of all four elements. Just use the model taking earth and water as the principle elements behind solidity and fluidity of form, present even in the bodies of the dead, infused with fire in life; warmth, the energy of thought and movement, the spark of consciousness, which must be fed by air as we breathe like pure fire needs air to burn. Without this shell of earth and water, the fire of the soul which inhabited and activated the body may no longer contact living souls, but it is then in complete contact with the air allowing it to burn still brighter. Weyard is in continuous growth, expanding the land we live on, the heavens above and the earth below. Concentrations spread over the available area unless some force is creating a vacuum, so with no physical weight holding them to the relatively tiny area living souls inhabit, departed souls must depart; either for the heavens where pure air allows these souls to blaze brightly for as long as the elements exist - in other words, infinity - or they must be drawn down where there is no space for air, completely extinguishing their existence. Does this not call for the Church’s traditionally infinite and just God, to ensure good souls pass on to the heavens and bad souls are ended?”

“Try to remember,” Interrupted Alex, “That the cosmos is a unity of interdependent parts all consisting of the same four elements as humans. What makes you think there’s a vacuum anywhere? You missed out the Jupiter energy in people, and as a former water Adept, I would also object to the notion that my soul is a thing of fire.”

"Air is rather hard to pin down." Meda contributed on Kraden's behalf.

“Well, if we take fire to be the spirit which sustains the body and soul…” Kraden started to argue as he turned to face them at last, but when he saw Alex standing next to him, the old scholar froze and started to turn a deathly pale shade.

“What’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost… Or a spirit?” Meda asked.

“This is… This is someone Kraden thought long dead.” Isaac explained.

“Deep down in the earth, I was not extinguished. If I was the resurrected dead, that would make this God a dark, vengeful creature intent on torturing half of all human souls. However, I am fairly sure I’m not dead right now, so can everyone stop saying that the one bad thing that didn’t quite happen to me did?” Alex was looking rather amused, but also more than a little disturbed.

“You… were in Mt. Aleph’s collapse… and are back. How? Why?” Kraden whispered, recovering slightly.

“We rescued him, Kraden.” Isaac told him carefully.

“No one really knows why.” Felix added.

“The King knows about him, and now we’ve told you. He’s here to catch up on some history, so we’re taking him to that department next. We can talk to you about this later.” Isaac finished.

“Mt. Aleph?” Meda caught on. “Wait, so is he?… He can’t be!”

“He is.” Felix confirmed. “Let’s go.” He and Isaac started to leave.

“Wait.” Alex hadn’t moved. “I want Kraden to teach me.” Kraden loved learning more than anyone else Alex had ever known. He would probably be the best source of information by now. Plus, Alex might still be able to tell whenever he deliberately left something out. It was also sort of reassuring to see how Kraden looked like he had actually aged a couple of decades. It made all the time that had passed feel a bit more real. Alex truly wanted to figure out exactly what was going on with reality right now.

“I think your… ah… rescuers there… had a much better plan.” Kraden responded, still not quite believing his eyes.

“You are wise. You know who I am, what I should hear, perhaps what I shouldn’t hear if it’s for the best. You’re curious and I will answer any question I can. You will teach me.” Alex could see Kraden’s expression softening.

“Well, we could talk a little, while you’re here…” Kraden seemed to half consider Alex a mere daydream or phantom. It wasn’t just his sudden appearance. Over the years Kraden had honed a kind of intuitive Alchemy, even if he'd never got the hang of fireballs and the like. He knew who was around him and he could hear a lot more in people’s voices, especially how open or deceitful they were trying to be. He'd thought something seemed strange before he even turned around. Kraden wasn’t getting any sort of reading from Alex, nothing but the sight of him and the noise his voice made. It was like thinking of a half-forgotten conversation from long ago, or just imagining things…

Alex allowed himself a faint smile. He needed a lot more practice, but there was still a certain fluidity to trying to manipulate people, especially when it worked. Maybe, over time, he could bury all the ways he'd changed when he'd been buried and be exactly who he'd been before. Did it matter, just for now, that he was more than just satisfied at a chance to talk to someone useful… That everything felt like a chance to win over companions? It was a little hard to think straight. Even empty air was still such a distraction… But he could focus if he tried.

“While they talk, would you two mind filling everyone else in on this?" Meda led Isaac and Felix away to gather the philosophers for an interesting story.

"People don't recognize me? She knew me by my part in history, but not very well if even those who study Alchemy don't know my face. Did claiming most of the golden sun not make me that important?" Alex asked Kraden quietly.

"Every scholar here will know that an Alex from Imil traveled with the various parties that lit the Lighthouses, left before the end to seek the golden sun and was therefore the only one to die when Mt. Aleph fell. It's not a secret, exactly, what Isaac received of the golden sun and how you… ah, didn't die, but we've never really emphasized that side of Alchemy. It's in the most comprehensive texts, but it's not really general knowledge. You never even visited Lemuria, Alex, they're really not going to know your face. You'd be recognized in any town where you… made an impact, I suppose."

"What is common knowledge, then? If it's all so patchy, could you add a bit of uncommon?" Alex asked, rather annoyed. He'd been the most important person in bringing back Alchemy, and had almost become the most important anything. Ever.

"Well, to start at the beginning… In the Unlit Age, Weyard was slowly decaying from a lack of the universe's fundamental elements; the seal on Alchemy had locked away far too much elemental force, the lifeblood of reality. Looking back on it, the worst part is, barely anyone noticed. Prox was the first community to stick around long enough at the most inhospitable edge of the world to be pressed into action by its recession. The first party from Prox, of the two smartest thinkers, the two most diplomatic souls, and the strongest fighters, Prox's two warriors, departed for the old village of Vale. They found no help there, and when they tried to start the quest by themselves… Only the warriors survived, as you know, each suffering a terrible loss. They took hostages from Vale, saving their lives of course, but not letting them go home, leaving Vale grieving over more deaths than the boulder had actually caused. After a few years of recovery, in which two Proxan youths who had also been picked as warriors grew into that title and many others were trained as soldiers for that time of crisis, the next party left with Felix… So strange, to think there was a time he wasn't known in every house on Weyard…. They restarted the quest, rather more brutally and ruthlessly - though no one blames Felix of course - and with a lot more success. This… new style? It accumulated most of the other heroes of our time, either as hostages or in pursuit.

When the warriors died, the situation in Prox still spurred on those who'd traveled with them, and the quest was continued in a much more humane and helpful way. Piers was the last hero to join them, and thanks to him all the heroes finally realized the significance of Alchemy - that Weyard would shrivel up and die in every way without it - eventually uniting to finish the quest together and save the world. Thus began the Relit Age. This is the heartwarming story celebrated each year during the Lighthouse Festival, which lasts the two months the quest took to complete. It finishes with a wonderful street party on Lighting Day, which is actually the first day of winter now the climate is so much warmer… I always remember finishing the quest so far into in such a bitterly cold early winter, it seems a bit odd to me.

Anyway… the seal broken, the heroes soon met with the King of Lemuria, the most civilized land humanity had inherited from the last Age of Alchemy, bringing along the refugees formerly of Vale. The Golden Week… that was a real landmark. We arrived two days in, so while all over the world, people saw the sun grow brighter, the- "

"I knew it." Alex muttered.

"What?" Kraden was quite surprised. Students usually interrupted him far sooner. Alex was a wonderful listener. Though it was rather strange how he didn't even blink…

"Nothing. Continue." Alex waited quietly, unnerving Kraden a little. Definitely not like most students.

"Yes, well… while people everywhere saw the trees grow greener, the seas grow calmer and the air grow warmer and fresher, an open air conference was held in Lemuria which pretty much decided the future of Weyard. King Hydros offered all the heroes the position of Governors of Alchemy, leaving it to them to determine what sort of a position that became; whether they kept traveling and guiding the progress of civilization with the help of all those town and city leaders who held them in high regard, or settle down back where they came from with an honorary title. As you've probably surmised by now, they decided to keep making a difference. Oh, and I was obviously one of the heroes, but I declined the new title the others accepted. Rushing all over the place is all very well for the young, but I only wanted to stay and continue finding out about Alchemy and the construction of Weyard in the most knowledgeable society on the planet… Doesn't sound like much of an 'only' to me, but I was the only one.

Master Hama also arrived a few days in, along with Puelle of Prox; they had each been given instructions in their dreams. Hama had proceeded to walk through a tree in Contigo to arrive in the centre of Lemuria, while Puelle is rumoured to have had to walk through a snowman. As the discussions continued, Puelle was quick to offer the Vale refugees homes in Prox, seeing how three of the villagers already had friends and jobs there, while the others were keen to see the town that the 'children' of Vale had saved.

Ivan wished to live with his sister Hama, and to learn of his original home town Contigo and the people of Anemos, so it was decided that Hama and the Governors would travel to Contigo with a party of Lemurian scholars - including me - on Piers' ship. Once there, they used everyone's skills and the new gift of Alchemy to try and construct a working pair of teleport pads, one on the ship, the other in Contigo. This being a brilliant success, they then created a second pathway between Lemuria and Contigo, and so it was established that wherever the Governors traveled, those in Contigo would join them to build more teleport pads, to create a revolutionary network of pathways allowing people on opposite sides of the world to live like neighbors!

For, as a great deal of experimentation during the Golden week had established, everybody can use Alchemy. Generally only Adepts could figure it all out for themselves in those days, apparently using a similar method to Psynergy, but anyone could be taught at least a little. The Governors offered to train everyone everywhere they visited, in classes that got larger and larger as they brought those from each town together, and most people could use the teleport pads by themselves after a few months of training.

Within a few years, it was possible to teleport from anywhere, to anywhere, if you didn't mind up to half a dozen stages in between. At this point, only Piers and Sheba decided to continue living on the ship; Piers loves the sea, and I believe Sheba loves the sense of belonging everywhere and nowhere. They both love to be constantly on the move at any rate, and at the start of each month they hold a week long voyage for training young Alchemists in sailing and weather Alchemy, going along a different route every time. They made sure Briggs of Champa and a significant number of the population of Yallam were included in the first few trips, which included a lot of treasure hunting. They wanted to help the people in the village Yepp had founded rediscover the skills and legends their hero had left them, partly in thanks for how Yepp had left Piers and the rest of us the way back into Lemuria, without which we would have been truly lost. Briggs, meanwhile, still hadn't got around to paying back the towns he and his men had raided before the Lighting. This hadn't mattered too much in the years of mild weather and plentiful harvests that had followed, but it was an outstanding debt even so.

The other Governors soon found that the population's increasing skill in Alchemy was also putting their help and guidance in its development and use increasingly in demand, so they decided to convert the Lighthouses into academic resources for Alchemy closely relating to each particular element. Felix and Isaac worked on Venus Lighthouse from the inn at Lalivero, Jenna and Garet on Mars while staying in Prox, Mia on Mercury while staying in Imil, and Ivan on Jupiter, where Hama quickly became just as involved. The Governors would visit each other in the evenings and spend some days helping out at each other's sites, but they ended up spending most of their free time meeting up and relaxing in Lemuria. It's just so calm here, while they were so busy… and they liked visiting me, of course. They received a lot of help with the Lighthouses from the Lemurians, as well as those from nearby towns, and people from all over Weyard who would teleport in to see their progress and help out for the day. Most of the puzzles and traps were removed, while libraries, classrooms and various pieces of equipment were installed and skilled local Alchemists were trained as teachers.

During this time, Jenna was especially glad to get to know Prox, a place so important to her parents there and to her brother. She found she had a lot in common with the Mars Clan, making many close friends and becoming a cherished member of the community herself. The town's spirit had been rather subdued for a long time after all the deaths it had seen, especially as each of their warriors had lost so much of themselves to this grief, in their different ways, and died before they could ever find their way back to being the brave and happy protectors the Clan remembered. Jenna helped fill a void and, well, just cheered the town up. Felix would often stay with her and their parents for a weekend, glad to spend time with everyone he'd known growing up in Vale and Prox, but he didn't consider the place a home like Jenna did. Garet enjoyed his time there too, and he seems to visit Prox a little more than anywhere else these days, but he couldn't settle down there either.

Since communication was established between Contigo and Kalay, Ivan had been in touch with Lord Hammet and Lady Layana, and once all of Weyard had been linked up, Ivan decided it would also be worth setting up a way to organize trade across the myriad routes available. So, he enlisted Hammet and Hama's help in recording supply and demand for every product in every area and acting on this information. Hama still considers the original silk route her greatest idea, but what they have accomplished now is truly incredible, getting farms, markets, shops and craftsmen everywhere involved in an efficient system of trade that has helped every town on Weyard prosper. Now you can buy silk from Xian in Shaman village, or find Proxan sweets for sale in Vault! Hama also started organizing the further construction of teleport pads at this point, to make certain trade routes a lot easier to use, improving communications between towns at the same time. Everyone involved in this whole enterprise decided to officially name themselves the Weyard Trade and Communication Committee, or WTCC… They were going to think up something more inventive, but if it confused people about the purpose of this new group it would have been a bit self-defeating."

"Just one question. Why exactly did they need more teleport pads for this? You said they were all connected anyway." Alex asked.

"Didn't I also mention all the stops in between? Teleporting is one of the hardest sorts of Alchemy. Even if they're not transporting any stock, most people are thoroughly exhausted by two or three trips in a row, and some people can barely manage one." Kraden didn't mention how he was one of those people, but the look on Alex's face suggested he'd guessed. "You used to Warp, didn't you? Surely you found instantaneous transport tremendously hard, much more so than your other Psynergy? You weren't even using a path!"

"It's not instantaneous. It's not Psynergy either, just warping. And it's the simplest thing in the world. But can this wait? Please continue."

Alex didn't know how anyone could make warping difficult. If everyone found teleporting hard, they must be doing it wrong. He suddenly felt like warping again, just to see if he could still do it, but he was busy right now. That would have to wait too.

"Right. Well, once the refurbishment of the Lighthouses was complete, King Hydros offered Isaac, Felix, Garet and Mia rooms of their own in the palace, from which they could still access every corner of the planet; the Governors could probably manage dozens of teleports with ease, if there was ever any point. They all accepted, though only Isaac and Mia truly inhabit their rooms anymore. This move was especially convenient, as it soon became apparent that the Lighthouses weren't sufficient, leading to the construction of the House of Light. Alchemy is more than the sum of the particular powers of its individual elements; a combined research facility was needed. Since the Lighting, careful records of every town's history and progress had been compiled in Lemuria and Contigo, and it was getting to the point where a dedicated facility was needed for this, too. I helped design the building in which we now stand, as did many of my colleagues and all the Governors of Alchemy. The Philosophy department here was a late addition, but very popular; there's a saying that while every other department is about finding what Alchemy can do, in Philosophy we only look at what we can never know if it does… Actually, that might be the dictionary definition."

"Dictionary?"

"Oh, sorry. That's a set of books listing in alphabetical order each word people use alongside its meaning. A group initiative from the Language department. It's very useful, don't look so derisive."

"So people find it useful to be told what 'it' and 'three' mean?"

"Never mind… I'll show you one later. Anyway, the House of Light took eight years to complete. We used new architectural techniques that had arisen from people's new skills, and from several informed studies of the Lighthouses. We were able to employ people from all parts of Weyard… It was an incredible project. Added to the fact that the Lemuria Spring was still the only source of youth water, the substance which had prolonged the lifespan of Lemurians for millennia, and Lemuria was busier then than it has ever been before or after."

"How exactly did this lost, secret island become busy anyway? Did they really let the rest of the world just teleport in and out like that, when so few people even knew of its existence before?" Alex was finding this all a little hard to believe despite the evidence all around him.

"Oh, yes. Lemuria used to have those laws about no one entering or leaving. Well, it still does, technically, but they're so archaic nobody would ever bother enforce them. When the heroes first returned to Lemuria in the Golden Week, a few senators tried to bring those laws up, in a general fit of fear and frustration at everything happening without them I suppose. Lunpa sorted them out, using the research he'd conducted at the palace."

"Lunpa?"

"Yes, he's alive, he stayed here when Babi left. I could have told you that fifty years ago. He revealed that the written laws are so careful to distinguish between Lemurians sailing out to fish and people actually crossing the ocean, they only ban sailing to or from anywhere else, even in the parts that define exile. Felix and the other Adept/Alchemists hovered us back, while since then everyone has always teleported.

I mentioned youth water too, didn't I? The sheer abundance of the elements after the Lighting set Lemuria Spring overflowing, and by the time the House of Light was started it had been reworked dozens of times, despite a new factor that had been keeping it in check; tourism. Lemurians never used to have much contact with outsiders, but once they started talking to the many visitors that soon found their way here, they realized how different life really was for many, many people. Soon, the Lemurian public became rather horrified as it sank in how soon most people died, people who were friendly and intelligent to varying degrees… none of them savages after all. Visitors increasingly found bottles, jugs and pans pressed into their hands, and were urged to drink their fill from the spring and take plenty home for their families, for their children. To Lemurians, despite the boredom of a long life stuck on a small island, the old human lifespan sounded tragic, unbearable… and that's how we all look back on it now.

The very night the House of Light was completed, Lemuria Spring flooded worse than ever before, making it clear another solution had to be found. It was Ivan's wife, Keisha, who thought of using the crater by Contigo as a reservoir. You remember her? She used to run the general store in Contigo… Well, she's a member of the WTCC, and that was the idea that made her a Councilor. She even, just that one time, made her sister in law Hama a little jealous! The WTCC got help from the House of Light and the Lighthouses in actually figuring out how to do this, and we eventually designed this sort of perpetually open pair of modified teleport pads vertically suspended in space, powered by an infusion of Alchemy that's topped up every morning… It basically looks like a little waterfall in mid air above the reservoir, while the part in Lemuria is a little patch of sky underwater.

The water level in the reservoir was very low at first, but it's risen steadily, so that now the crater is nearly two thirds full. Around the rim, a set of teleport pads were built especially for transporting a set of heavy water tanks to and from the reservoir - they usually rest on the other halves of their paths, at the centre of the biggest town or city in each area. Each town's share is pumped into the tanks once a week, an amount that is also constantly on the rise. Isolated regions still get their share, it's teleported to them from the tanks as an extra service, as the whole thing is done free of charge anyway by the WTCC, which is never short of funds.

You will therefore find that nobody is the age they look anymore. Well, except babies. Youth water slows different ages by different proportions as well, or one would find oneself a screaming infant for a decade or so. A five or six year old will stay that way quite a few years longer than might be expected, and by the time they're a teenager, they could be more than fifty years old, though some will still only be twenty or thirty even these days. No two communities started drinking youth water at quite the same time, and in some it still isn't very popular; the younger you start, the more potent its effects, with the optimum age being nine months before you are born; it takes better to stronger Alchemists, especially if they used to be Adepts; sometimes variations seem to be pure luck… And though most of these factors should even out eventually, we don't yet know how long future generations will live, once everyone's blood is as saturated with this potent, post-Lighting youth water as Lemurian blood has always been with Mercury energy.

You can't tell how old anyone is by how they look, but to a certain extent that doesn't matter. A teenager of fifty years will be intelligent and mature, someone you can trust as you would an adult, but they will still have their teenage way of looking at the world. Just don't judge anyone by anything but their personality… Oh, and don't ask how old they are. You don't need to know, and it only gets people mixed up these days."

"Very well, but are you sure you can't guess how long humans will now live with this drink?" Alex asked. Redefining human life needed to be put in perspective.

"We think at least a few thousand years considering how long King Hydros has lived, though like I said, it varies right now. For instance, I didn't find youth water until I was in my sixties, I was never an Adept, and I'm no luckier than average. I'm pretty sure I only have another sixty or seventy years to go… While Isaac and Felix and the others will still be young men and women decades after I'm gone.." Kraden turned to watch those two for a moment, a sad look finding its way into his eyes.

The Governors were at the centre of an argument at the other end of the room. It didn't seem to be a philosophical debate. More the sort of argument where rather a lot of people got very upset. They must still be talking about Alex. Kraden turned back and saw without much surprise this time that Alex was waiting for him to continue, standing there still and expressionless. Only seventy years more, sure, but Kraden knew he was lucky to have always been able to live each year just the way he wanted. He continued talking, with a slight sad laugh for the way he couldn't help feeling.

"Listen to me, moaning about living a far longer and richer life than I could have dreamed of last time I saw you. There's so much I want to find out, so much that no one knows, but that's just the way it'll always be. I've already been blessed with more privileges than I can honestly say I've earned. I'm truly happy for Isaac and the others. They went through so much, so young, they deserve every reward life has given them. I tried to find Lemuria for Babi, but I didn't find it for him in the end. I don't want to end up like that man, terrified of death…

Oh, and did you know that Babi tried to pad out the youth water he took with powdered nuts and herbs? He'd long realized it would run out. When I left for Vale it was getting very murky, and according to Mia he'd turned it practically orange by the time he was down to the last few drops!" Kraden smiled, trying to cheer himself up. Then he remembered… "Say, Alex. You know you told us how you were there when Babi died, and everyone in Tolbi assumed it was because of you and the Proxans? No one has ever exactly been able to prove or disprove that. I mean, it's clear he died of old age, and that's the accepted story now, but the way it was supposedly just as you walked in the room… A great many people in Tolbi would still insist it was not just coincidence…" Kraden waited for some sort of response.

"So the mob still sticks by its spontaneous, superstitious stupidity? I'm impressed." Alex replied. He got the feeling Kraden was half expecting him to admit to something. Maybe they would have killed Babi if he hadn't died on his own so conveniently, but that was nothing Kraden needed to know.

"Well, not everyone… never mind." Kraden found himself feeling a bit embarrassed for some reason. It was a valid historical dispute, and when those who knew for sure were all long dead (until recently)… He should just get through the history Alex was here to learn. "I got as far as the completion of the House of Light, didn't I? Since then, the Governors have been involved with various individual projects, construction of other buildings, politics, education, keeping the peace and dealing with natural disasters. Of course, nothing has ever matched the tidal wave that shifted the continents, and there have been too many little changes to cover…

Perhaps an example of a fairly large change in one part of the world? As you may know, Champa used to be run by the village elders. When Briggs and his men saved the village from famine, the elders were so amazed they started to consider turning the running of the village over to its sailors, feeling a bit useless themselves - except for Obaba, of course, who'd expected nothing less from her grandson if he ever wanted to return! When we revealed Briggs' piracy, the elders reconsidered, realizing how rash and immature the young could be. However, their doubts about the effectiveness of their own guidance didn't just go away. When Briggs was on Piers and Sheba's first training voyage, he often talked with them about his home; the way it was coping fine while times were so much easier, but its future was rather uncertain. On returning to Champa, Piers and Sheba went with Briggs to speak to Obaba, suggesting a council where each elder and each youth had to come to an agreement to vote as a pair on every suggestion. It seemed a very strange idea, but as Obaba wished to give it a try it eventually came to pass, and that's how Champa has been run ever since. The youths of Champa are now very wise, level headed sailors, while the elders have much more free time.

Obaba started to spend much of this extra time in the House of Light as soon as it was built, finding it very interesting, and of course contributing a lot to research here herself. She has a remarkable mind…" Kraden trailed off, realizing he'd been about to tell Alex about how he had spent a lot of time with her. How it would be their thirtieth wedding anniversary next March. No reason he shouldn't tell him, it just seemed a bit… social. Would Alex even care? Oh well. "When we started working together in the Astronomy department… We grew very close. We've been married now for thirty years."

"Congratulations." Alex replied, smiling, looking sincere and almost normal for a
moment. Kraden smiled back uneasily. From the look in Alex's eyes… he almost seemed hurt by the news, and it only showed in his eyes, making that normal smile… a little creepy. Why would he?… Kraden wished he'd stuck to the world history lecture.

Alex waited for Kraden to continue. Thirty years back had not been a happy time for him. It had been the same as ten years back, forty years back, last week, last month and yesterday... It was different up here, but he couldn't keep thinking about how long it had been, not if he wanted to keep going like this. Alex wished Kraden would start talking about something a bit more distracting again. At least he wasn't expected to respond much.

"The Governors have been involved with so many decisions all over Weyard, it has become customary for at least one of them to sit in on every major meeting of any town or city's government and every conference between towns. Isaac tends to be most involved with this. He has a reputation for being very reliable and trustworthy. He has a keen sense of right and wrong… they all do, of course, but Isaac… he'll take on anyone's worries as his own. He does seem to get rather worried sometimes. The others all look out for him though; the Governors are always there for each other. They went through a lot together. Ivan also spends a lot of time in meetings, though it's often for business reasons. He's a very respected figure too, quite old for his age with his family in Contigo. He always seems very happy there, very settled. I think he enjoys thinking about all the time he's spent there, while the others are happy to still feel the age they look.

Let's see… Garet has been involved with a lot of the construction that has taken place since the House of Light. That's mainly new homes, shops, schools, churches; little things in greater numbers than before for the growing population. No new villages have been founded yet, as it's easy these days to look around every existing town and find somewhere you'd like to move to. Garet will stay wherever he's working, so he doesn't tend to live anywhere for more than a few months at a time. He'll often help out with one of Piers and Sheba's voyages, or with training at the Lighthouses with one of the other Governors, even at Mercury Lighthouse; he says his own Alchemy greatly benefits from the practice. Still, it's construction work that he's really taken to. He told me once that he didn't ever feel like he could have taken after his grandfather and been a town leader anywhere. He's always considered Isaac the responsible one, a fact that's always made him feel rather relieved.

Oh, and construction includes road maintenance, can't forget that. See, the planet seems to be growing quite fast compared to the rate it was shrinking, though it's eased off a little since the years immediately following the Lighting. Much more maintenance work is required, especially for those routes across the land that are still in use, like paths between nearby towns or to camping, hunting or research areas. However, many roads just aren't used any more, having proved far less convenient than teleporting. Mountain passes, desert paths, routes joining distant towns with nothing in between, all of these have fallen into disrepair. There may not be many monsters left, but the wilderness has never been more vast, overgrown and… well, wild.

Most people never venture out into these abandoned areas any more. Felix might be the only person on the planet to ever wander around the Suhalla Desert or Kolima Forest, the only one to know their exact layout now. He goes camping a lot… not in a group, not in a well-used site with tents and everything… He just doesn't often seem to sleep anywhere civilized. I think he did stay the night at Riki and Tavi's place a few days ago, they invited him round as he'd spent the afternoon helping with the craft fair in Daila. That morning, I think he was in Izumo, he had some business with Kushinada and Suza, though I'm sure he said he'd spent the night before somewhere east of Loho…

Ah well. The djinn can always find Felix, and he has an uncanny way of knowing where he'll be wanted anyway. That may have something to do with how he actually knows everyone on Weyard by name and face, but I'm sure he puts a bit of Alchemy into it too. He is rather good at Jupiter Alchemy for an old Venus Adept. He picks up Mars exceptionally well - in fact, it only seems to be Mercury that he's not too keen on, only bothering with the basics. I suppose that's to be expected after jumping into the sea and swimming for miles just to be knocked out by a giant tidal wave right afterwards… Never mind dragons and demons, that wave was the scariest thing I've ever seen."

"I wouldn't say it was that bad. Just so immense… I'm glad I was there to see it." Alex felt the need to speak up on the wave's behalf.

"I wouldn't believe you just said that, but you did seem a little too calm at the time…" Kraden sighed. "Plus, it's not just you. Piers told me once that when he saw that wave coming, at first, he was just awed. Then he got scared, then he got knocked out, then he got thrown in jail... He had a hard time on his own. Good thing we found him." Kraden found he could no longer feel the slightest bit surprised that the Governors had chosen to rescue Alex.

"Is there much else?" Alex asked. He had some idea what Kraden was thinking and he didn't appreciate it. Strong people are perfectly fine on their own.

"Much more history? Of course! You missed a lot. Still, we'll never cover everything in one session, and that's got most of the important bits out of the way… So why don't you answer a few questions for me now like you promised?" Kraden was getting very curious.

"Fine." Alex nodded.

"Right…" Kraden wondered if his first question might seem rather tactless. Well, he had to ask. "We've accumulated enough information at the House of Light to guess a lot more about the form of the golden sun and the stone of sages; how the stone has never been formed, but left on its own, the golden sun would have either condensed into the same thing or fallen into the planet and spread throughout its heart… or possibly exploded… but it's all just guessing. How… What did the golden sun look like, right up close? What did it feel like to…"

"Very bright. Like the surface of this building but a thousand times more intense, and the elements are so mixed up you can't see them, just feel them when it meets your skin… So intense you feel like you're burning up, spinning so fast in every direction that it looks perfectly still, but you feel like you're going to be torn to bits… And then it settles into the core of your being, and you realize you'd been blinded and hadn't noticed, and it's rushing right through you and nothing feels quite the same… Because it doesn't leave any part of you quite the same. I… didn't realize what that meant in time…" Alex suddenly realized he was telling Kraden far too much. He had no reason to talk to anyone about this! Nobody should know him, or he would lose himself… a life's worth of treasured and painful thoughts lost to those he could never respect, never trust. That was a very scary thought. He couldn't ever slip like that, not ever.

Kraden saw Alex falter and fall silent. So it was a personal question… Well, he was still extremely glad to have asked. The way Alex had described the golden sun, he should hate it, yet he seemed irrevocably enchanted. Perhaps anyone would be. Kraden was still a little jealous himself. If his studies had revealed enough about the stone of sages, it might have been him… Yet it never could have been. Kraden knew he could never sacrifice other people for such a selfish cause, could never ignore what he'd learned from the Wise One. Alex's words made Kraden rather glad that hadn't happened to him anyway. They did make a small part of him wildly envious of experiencing such rich and vivid power… Kraden was glad it was just a small part.

"Ah… Hmm. Would you mind me asking… Can you tell how long a lifespan the golden sun gave you?" Kraden considered this a reasonable enough question to follow with.

"Not quite. A fairly long one, certainly, but I was told it would be nearly infinite, so that doesn't tell me much. I'd thought you might have some idea, based on how fast Isaac seems to be aging and how powerful the complete golden sun would have been." Alex replied carefully.

"Nearly infinite… yes, the Wise One showed us that memory. Isaac hasn't really aged that much, so we think he'll live something like five or ten times longer everyone else. I suppose you could expect to live at least a hundred thousand years, possibly a million or more." Kraden reasoned.

"I'd think at least a few million." Alex corrected him. So they had even less idea. Oh well. "It doesn't really matter though. Not much difference."

"What do you mean, not much difference?" Kraden wondered if he'd heard wrong.

"You're a mathematician, are you not?" Alex asked. Kraden nodded. "So you know. Relative to infinity, any finite number is practically nought. Say I live for just a billion years. Anything I achieve is just a thousandth of what I could have done with just a thousand times as long. Even that..."

Kraden was speechless. How could Alex take for granted the greatest power any human had ever actually attained? Kraden found himself waiting for Alex to say something more, to take it back. Alex didn't seem to be paying him much attention though. He was just staring into space, looking right through him. His thoughts must be miles away. Kraden suddenly realized that the scene reflected in Alex's eyes was not actually the room ahead. Kraden glanced over his shoulder nervously, confirming that the Philosophy department hadn't melted away. According to the reflection… a young boy was sitting against a deeply blue wall a few yards away, opening a book. Messing with Alchemy really meant messing with the laws of physics…

"Compared to infinity, everything else fades into nothing. My choice was everything or nothing. I can't possibly regret my decision. But that perfect… I'm going to die, like everyone else. Then I really will be nothing." Alex's expression was so lost and sad, Kraden turned away. He was sure Alex had never wanted to be seen like that. The more Kraden got to know Alex, the more he wished he hadn't. Still looking away, Kraden decided to ask another question. Maybe it would serve as a distraction.

"I can understand how you could have been caught up in Mt Aleph's collapse, and how you could have survived underground for years if you were powerful enough, but how were you rescued? How did the Governors know to go find you, and why now?" Kraden turned back to face Alex and was glad to see he had lowered his eyes to consider the question.

"I contacted them. I got around to trying to establish some sort of telepathic communication, and Isaac heard." Alex eventually replied. He couldn't exactly lie when Kraden would hear it from the Governors later.

"It took you fifty years to try asking for help?" Kraden exclaimed, probably a little too loudly. Alex flinched. He'd been trying to keep it from sounding like that.

"I contacted Isaac and he helped." Alex tried not to sound impatient. Why was he getting so nervous?

"So, you were trying to reach him specifically? Any particular reason?" Kraden thought something sounded odd there.

"No. Just anyone. I'm not exactly sure why he was the only one to hear, or how he heard at all, but it must have something to do with the golden sun." Alex told him.

"Yes… It's linked to everything, it would certainly be relatively easy to establish a link between its two parts. He would be the easiest person to reach." Kraden couldn't see any great mystery there. It was a tempting research topic, but Kraden knew Isaac wanted as little to do with his part as possible, and Kraden was finding he wanted as little to do with Alex as possible.

"Two parts. The quintessence of all things, all ripped up! How is that even going to work anyway? Both of us will die. The stone of sages isn't supposed to expire!" Alex couldn't ever quite believe how ridiculous it was, the way he'd been beaten.

"The stone of sages can't expire. I'd imagine its power would merely be released from your body upon your death, and the same would apply…" Kraden froze, horrified. Had he really just said…? How could he be so stupid?

Alex saw Kraden realize his mistake. Too late. So… so it didn't matter, what he'd been through. Everything would be perfect after all. All that work, and now he was almost there. Alex felt very relieved. Very, very relieved.

"ISAAC!" Kraden shouted desperately across the room, backing away from Alex. This was bad. Very, very bad.

ooooooooooo

Isaac sighed, trying to think of yet another way to explain why he hadn't just killed Alex. Most of the philosophers had wandered off by now, some to talk amongst themselves, most to take another look at the History department. A handful of very angry people wouldn't leave him and Felix alone. They were just yelling the same questions again and again without listening to any of the answers. Felix seemed to be coping fine, but Isaac was getting a headache. Couldn't something just interrupt? Anything!

"ISAAC!"

Isaac spun around, thinking for a moment that Kraden's panicked cry was the answer to his prayers. No. Kraden looked terrified, and Alex… Isaac shivered. Alex was turning to face him with a dreamily calm expression, and a murderous look in his eyes.

#Kraden! What happenned?# Isaac didn't care if Alex heard again, he just needed to know fast. Isaac read the thoughts Kraden had formed for him upon hearing his question. So Kraden had told Alex… Isaac could have kicked himself. He should have known the golden sun would be an issue! He should have gone to the House of Light before he rushed off to the rescue, should have sorted everything out before something like this happened! Well, he just had to deal with Alex here and now. Alex wasn't moving, just standing and watching him, watching his face, watching him breathe in and out... Isaac walked up to Alex, trying not to look scared. Trying not to feel scared. There probably wasn't anything Alex could do to him. Not here and now, with Felix watching his back. But Isaac didn't see what he could do to Alex either, not after he'd survived the worst the earth could throw at him. If Alex walked out of here and started planning something… Isaac stopped a yard away from Alex, desperately wondering what on Weyard he could do to keep control.

Wait, what had Ivan's message from Hama been, the bit about control? Something vague… 'Keep control with what motivated us in the first place'. So kindness and decency, that was how Hama expected him to deal with Alex, or he would lose control. What say did decency have when someone was going to try and kill you? But if fear, hostility, aggression and mistrust would fail, he had to try the opposite. Isaac trusted Hama. He had to put his life in her hands here. He was so nervous he felt like he could pass out, but Isaac had a plan.

ooooooooooo

Alex watched as Isaac approached him. Strange behavior, but useful. Alex wondered how he was going to kill Isaac. He'd never killed anyone before, but it couldn't be too hard. People killed each other all the time.

Wait, what was Isaac doing? Alex watched Isaac draw his sword. The fire brand… Wasn't that the sword that unleashed the psynergy Purgatory? How fitting. What use did Isaac think that was going to be anyway? Wait… Isaac was offering him the sword! Just holding it out, waiting for him to take it. Alex looked into Isaac's eyes, thoroughly confused. Isaac was nodding without breaking eye contact, smiling at him, holding out the sword… Alex took it shakily, trying to figure out what was going on. Isaac didn't want to die, did he? Well, this would only make it easier.

Alex gripped the fire brand, trying not to think. Trying to think about just killing without thinking and trying not to think all the thoughts he'd been trying not to think all day or think about who he really was now he could be who he wanted to be and wasn't yet or think who Isaac was to have saved him and to stand by him or think about how he was so furious at him he wanted to lift this sword and rip Isaac to pieces and dig out his eyes with his thumbs and keep him alive and hurting for years to show him what it was like and how sickening it was to think such thoughts like he was just a savage disgusting beast and to think like that about another human being who'd showed him the sun again and given him a home here where the walls weren't crushing him or think how he really had to kill him but when he lifted this sword just an inch he couldn't bear the emotions he hadn't expected and hadn't tried to cope with before and couldn't get rid of after all and trying not to be so furious with himself for trying to kill Isaac and for not trying to kill Isaac and he couldn't manage it but this was giving up hope and he couldn't possibly do that either and everyone in the room was staring at him waiting and they wouldn't wait forever and he couldn't do a thing. Alex gripped his sword, trying to think.

Had to do something, couldn't do one thing or the other. That rock had certainly made this world a hard place to live in. He wasn't just going to walk away from this. He couldn't. Nobody would ever trust him if he didn't drop this sword ten seconds ago… Hopeless. Almost made sense. Ever since he'd climbed that mountain and found himself just as far down, everything seemed to become its opposite instead. His puppets ruled the world. His suicide note saved his life. The most beautiful moment of relief and hope turned into this. Maybe… Maybe violence would buy him a little peace…

ooooooooooo

Isaac watched and waited. When Alex had met his eyes, Isaac had been able to summon a calm and trusting smile in return, just about. So far, his gamble seemed to be working. Alex wasn't moving, wasn't quite looking as murderous. But he was still holding the sword. With every passing second, Isaac was growing increasingly worried that he wasn't going to drop it. Isaac didn't want to move from Alex's side, didn't want to stop looking trusting. Even if Alex raised the fire brand to his neck, Isaac wasn't going to protect himself. Sometimes people just had to see that you trusted them, right up until the last second, before they'd be convinced and trust you back. And if Alex wasn't convinced… Well, Isaac would just have to count on Felix saving him. Isaac still considered this his best hope. Hama was never wrong.

Isaac saw Alex's expression clear a little. Then… it happened so fast. Alex raised the fire brand above his head, then plunged it into his own chest. Isaac blinked. Alex was just standing there with a sword through his chest, half of it sticking out either side. He'd closed his eyes. He wasn't moving at all. Isaac blinked again. Alex was still there. He wasn't bleeding. He was breathing deeply, calmly… he was asleep. Isaac stared, not getting it. What did Alex mean by this? Impaling himself and falling asleep? Isaac felt Felix's hand on his shoulder. That was a comfort.

"I don't think he's going to do anything else. You can stop waiting." Felix told him gently.

"But… he just…" Isaac was getting confused.

"Yeah. We've got to get him out of here." Felix replied. Isaac looked around. Everyone in the philosophy department was still staring at them. Of course they were. Kraden had found a seat, and was looking rather happy. He must not have liked talking to Alex.

"He just had to drop it. That was all. Just drop it." Isaac whispered, gazing at Alex.

"Oh, come on." Kraden laughed. He couldn't resist. "Surely he knew what he was doing the moment he raised his sword!"

GRAAAAGH!!! posts so long!! unreasonably long!!
everyones like "your story is awesome rozzlyn"
but its sooooo long.....i know!!!
record yourself reading the story out loud, then save it on the computer so i can listen to it!!
i scroll through your mega-long sections of the story, and when i stop to read a line or two, i want to never stop but i have to because i havent even finished the first post yet :C :cry:

these drugs are too hard to take!!


oh yeah and as for double posting, nobody will mind as long as you have a very good reason for it, such as posting a very long chapter from a very very long story


long!! o_O

Hmm. I don't have a microphone for my laptop yet, but on my other computer I'm able to make .avi video files that can be played on Windows Media Player, with kinda staticky sound, and a black screen that I can't separate. You could see if that's any better. Just... how do I get them online? There are only tags here for uploading images from my computer and linking to other net pages.

Wooooooow!!!!!! I don't know what to say other than that this sentence was difficult to read:

It actually took me a few minutes getting through, and I bet I spent at least 30+ minutes reading the whole chapter.

And how come chapter 4 is about 3 times longer than chapter 3?

Oh, and you asked a while back if it was possible to center the text, and it's not possible. u_u

Saying a sentence was hard to read generally indicates a mistake, but... you also said 'Wooooooow!!!!!!'; were you pointing out the only bad point you could find, or did you like spending a few minutes over one sentence? Well, ch4 is longer than ch3 because I don't organise the story into chapters by length, but by train of thought (Alex's, generally). Like I said earlier, I want to make the feel of each chapter different. I hope it ends on a very different note to the start, with a variety of other notes in between. If I can't center text, I'll manage without. Thanks.

If you don't know what to say, maybe you could say something about Kraden? This was his chapter, after all. I've never seen anyone else try to write him as as childish a character as he is in the game. Did that seem accurate here, or did you think him more mature in canon?

Have you ever read a novel before? Most novels usually have chapters that are at least 10 pages long. I don't think any of these chapter exceed ten pages, so if you really do want to read this story, then read it through and don't let yourself be daunted by its length, which isn't that impressive, IMO. Or if you don't want to have to stare at a comp. for a while reading a story, then you can alway print it out.

Nice story, Rozzlyn.

Oh, he did print it out after that. I think the mild length might be a bit unexpected in fanfic, perhaps. And thanks. ^_^

actually, my printer broke trying to downlaod the fanfic #-_-

*punches printer, hurts hand*

oh well, i guess ill start now since there isnt much going on anyways

*goes to first page...*

It hurt your printer? '-_- Sorry!

Should I add chapter five soon?

I didn't mean anything bad about it, I just found it difficult to read (since the sentence was quite long without pauses) The chapter was awesome, though.

I wouldn't mind if you posted the next one.

Ah, I didn't mean that I thought you meant anything bad by it, just that I'm worried whether the effect I was after there works, or whether it's just difficult, so, a bit nervous. Sorry. Thanks, really, for commenting!

Okay, start of chapter five, posting now. I should mention; five is weighted toward Alex's best side, and six his worst, to try and explore the limits of each, so if this one seems out of character... Oh, never mind. Crazy Alex is already quite divorced from the game's character.

"So maybe I wasn't that good a friend,
But you were one of us.
And I will wonder, just like anyone,
If there was something else I could've done."
Aimee Mann, 'Just Like Anyone'

Chapter 5: Meltwater.

It didn't take long to relocate to one of the spare rooms built into the basement of the House of Light. Many of the scholars employed there found themselves working late surprisingly frequently, and it was far easier to stagger back to the entrance chamber at two in the morning when you'd just exploded your fifth test tube in a month than it was to stagger all the way home. Isaac and Felix certainly found it convenient to only have to carry Alex that far, considering what a strange sight they would have been otherwise. Two of the Governors of Alchemy, dragging an unconscious man with a sword through his chest to the palace… This room was far more convenient, Isaac decided, however impossible it proved to get Alex settled on the bed without his sword ripping up the sheets.

"It… it just makes no sense!" Isaac sighed, giving up and sinking to the floor beside the bed. "No sense…"

"I know what you mean." Felix replied as he carried a couple of chairs across the room to set them by the bed. "We jolted him so much on the way here, but his chest's still not bleeding. Strangest wound I've ever seen. And I don't know when he's planning on waking up."

"Thanks." Isaac mumbled as he moved to the chair. "And that's not what I meant."

"I know."

"Yeah, you would." Isaac almost laughed. "I just… just don't get it. Since we found him, he's done nothing but snap at us, insult us and demand our help. Then he goes and does… that, rather than hurt me… rather than not hurt anyone!" Isaac paused. "Do you think… He seemed so like what we thought of him, like he didn't care about anyone but himself. It looks like he must care about other people at least a little, but maybe he doesn't really like anyone much. Anyone at all."

"Well…" Felix paused. What a strange thought. There might be something to it. "If that's true, might be worth wondering if he knows it himself."

"Wouldn't think so." Isaac replied, still staring at Alex. "He's too sure of himself… usually." Isaac looked away. "I just… this... Can't we at least take the sword out?"

"You sure that's safe? We don't exactly know what we're doing here." Felix reminded him. Isaac thought he didn't sound too convinced.

"You really think we'll be putting him in any more danger? That thing's… right through his heart!" Isaac hated seeing his sword like this. It had been a long time since it had last hurt someone… Why'd Kraden always have to be so immature? It wasn't funny!

"Makes sense." Felix nodded. "Like I said, can't keep waiting now for Alex to do something else."

Isaac half laughed. So Felix had just been waiting for him to decide what to do. He'd thought so. The two of them stood up and tried to pull out the fire brand as carefully as possible. Isaac kept flinching whenever the sword moved, until Felix told him to sit down and let him finish. Once the sword was free, Alex merely fell back, still fast asleep. He still wasn't bleeding at all… Something very strange was going on, Isaac was sure. The sword didn't even have any blood on it.

"Hmm…" Felix held the fire brand out. "Want this back?"

"No thanks." Isaac shuddered. "Just leave it on the floor. Shouldn't we try… try healing him now?"

"If we can." Felix replied. "We'll try."

"No reason it shouldn't work, is there?" Isaac asked.

"Not that I know of." Felix replied with a smile.

"Yeah, of course. Sorry." Isaac answered absent mindedly, standing up. "Let's try, then."

Side by side, Isaac and Felix each gathered in their hands a glowing mass of healing Alchemy. Rich greens and browns dominated the swirls of colour, power that flowed so easily these days. They both remembered the way Psynergy had taken so much effort to drag out bit by bit, building up in waves and so often leaving them with splitting headaches indicating how badly they'd overdone it. Neither of them expected Alex to remind them of another aspect of Psynergy as well; the way it would so often fail absolutely for no apparent reason.

"I don't believe this! No affect… Not the slightest…" Isaac let the light surrounding his hands dissipate. "Is he blocking it or something?"

"While he's asleep?" Felix asked, raising an eyebrow as he turned to face Isaac.

"Yeah, that would be a bit strange… Sounds about right, for him." Isaac sighed. "Do you think we should find a professional healer? Someone who knows more about the routes healing energies take. Maybe they'd see what's stopping it."

"Have to be someone very skilled to do any better than us." Felix reminded him.

"So should we try Mercury Lighthouse, see if Mia can recommend anyone?" Isaac suggested. Felix nodded, and Isaac decided. "Right. You go, I'll wait with Alex." Isaac knew Felix would rather be the one to leave - well, both of them would always enjoy going to see Mia far more than waiting around like this, but both would wait if the other asked them to, and both would, of course, be too considerate to ask.

"Sure." Felix smiled and nodded before turning to walk off. He was certainly considerate enough to accept every reasonable favour Isaac offered… It was like Alex had said once, wasn't it? Some people drew strength from being kind. Of course, Felix made sure his friends received enough kindness to stay strong too. He paused at the door, turning back to Isaac. "Sure you're all right if he wakes up before I'm back?"

"Why? You think he might want to kill me? Whatever gave you that idea?" Isaac forced a smile.

"That wasn't what I meant." Felix replied, smiling back even so. Isaac wasn't letting himself stay too shaken.

"I know."

"You would." Felix grinned, leaving at last for Mercury Lighthouse.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Alex sat by the river, watching the snowflakes hit the surface of the water. Imil was still a little way off waking up, but soon enough the other villagers would all be out and about… Not that it would be busy, exactly, in a place with such a sleepy pace. Alex wondered sometimes if he was a bit cynical for a ten year old, but as he didn't know anyone else who felt the same way, he had to assume ten was a fine age for discontent simply because… That was how it was.

He was on his own for now, at least. He'd come here because he needed some time to think. Needed a bit of space. It wasn't too cold yet, either. These snowflakes had been falling for quite a few weeks already, but the river hadn't frozen over yet. When it did… Winter would seem to last forever. Even so, Alex knew spring had to come. The river would thaw eventually, when the spring came. It had to. It wasn't like it could turn into a glacier, like you got in the mountains, where miles of ice and a little meltwater from the crushing pressure would get thrown together with a load of dirt and rock and send this horrible monster slipping and slipping away… You couldn't get a glacier in Imil. Anyway, it wasn't too far into winter yet. The river was still fine. He didn't need to worry about anything… Anything that felt a little strange to think about. He was just a kid, just sitting around, soaking in the calm and the quiet. How boring. How nice.

Alex got up, brushing the snow off his tunic. His grandmother should be up soon. If she didn't need him, maybe he could sneak off to the Lighthouse for a while. Alex smiled at the thought, glancing up to see the top of the tower in the distance showing through the smoke from his grandmother's chimney. Good, so she was up. He was almost at the door when it opened from the inside, and the third member of the Mercury Clan stepped out. Mia was thanking his grandmother, saying goodbye. Why would she be visiting so early? Mia glanced around and, spotting Alex, smiled and waved as she ran over to talk to him.

"Alex! There you are! I was looking for you." Mia greeted him. "Today, I'm going to start teaching Megan and Justin meditation. I was wondering if you felt like helping out. I know you don't think they're going to be very good, but you could just come along to practice with us if you like."

"I didn't say they'd be bad. I said they'd be useless." Alex replied. "They don't have the hair, do they? They'll never be able to do what we do."

"Maybe, maybe not, but meditation's still good for anyone. Like how I got my parents to meditate too, even though they can't do Ply or anything. Praying is good for the heart." Mia insisted.

"Sometimes, you take my grandmother a little too literally." Alex told her, trying not to laugh.

"What are you talking about? She knows far more about the Clan than either of us!" Mia sounded a little confused.

Alex remembered, he wasn't supposed to sound like he knew too much. He couldn't tell her that when he meditated, he didn't bother making it a prayer any more and it worked just fine. Or how it seemed pretty pointless anyway; while meditation unlocked some sort of power, Alchemy had been the foundation of the real Mercury Clan, a vast and powerful group in a glorious land… He hadn't read much yet, but still, Alex wished he could talk to her about it all. If he was found out, though, he wasn't exactly sure what sort of trouble he'd be in. Wandering around Mercury Lighthouse on his own for the past four years… The others would be beyond shocked. Kids misbehaved, but this was on an entirely different scale.

"Of course. You're right. Sorry." Alex apologized, though Mia seemed no less curious.

"Alex… Is something wrong?" Mia asked. She really looked concerned, more so the longer he paused. Maybe, today, he would try and tell her.

"Well…" Alex wondered how to phrase it. "Grandma does know a lot about the Clan, doesn't she? Wouldn't it be nice, sometime, to ask her how far back it goes? To ask how long ago it was that the fountain was filled with the Water of Hermes, see if she knows what things used to be like?"

"What are you talking about?" Mia sounded so shocked. This was such a bad idea… "The Mercury Clan's always been around! At least, practically always. Everyone knows that. The Water of Hermes can't be around any time the Lighthouse doesn't work, and it's not supposed to work. That -"

"Yeah, that would be dangerous." Alex sighed. He really didn't see how anything could make his Lighthouse a dangerous place. "Still, for as long as it doesn't work it's our Clan's inheritance, isn't it? We've always been safe enough with grandma. Don't you want to ask her if we can stay a little longer sometime? Don't you wish we could look around…" Alex trailed off. Mia really looked horrified, more so the longer he talked.

"Safe enough?… Do you really not feel it, Alex? That place… it has such a weird feeling to it… like if you let it, your soul would seep away there. It, it's too big! Too quiet, only… big, like the sea. It's so scary, Alex! Don't you feel it? I wouldn't want to go without your grandma to keep us safe. The way she's so careful about that place, she… she keeps us all anchored. It'd be more than just 'dangerous' if whatever it did actually worked! It'd put the world at risk, remember?" Mia gasped, wiping her eyes. She looked so scared. "Anyway, what are you doing, talking about 'our Clan's inheritance' all of a sudden? I didn't think you cared about that. You're never around, never bother with Clan stuff, and nobody else ever seems to talk with you… I can't believe you haven't noticed! The Clan doesn't mean nearly as much as it could when one of its members acts so… You're the only person in Imil who's never around, never really involved with what everyone else is doing, and now you want to ask about what the Clan means? Alex... Nobody else thinks much of you, and you don't even seem to care!"

Alex didn't know what to say. Maybe he didn't usually come so close to telling her the truth, maybe she was surprised to hear a little of how he really felt, but really... Had he got her so upset that she'd lie? But she sounded more honest than ever, like she'd been worried for ages, so did that mean… Did everyone really think of him like that? That was… Well, yeah, he didn't talk much to… But why would they think little of him? He spent ages hanging around this boring village! At least one thing was clear. He couldn't talk to her about anything. She didn't understand at all.

"I… I help out with Clan stuff." Alex finally found his voice. "I helped heal old Jacob's dog with you a couple of days ago, when it was sick again."

"Alex…" Mia shook her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… It's just, it's never made sense. Everyone else thinks you're shy or something, but if they talked with you half as much as I do they'd see there's no way… I mean, if you don't want to talk about this, that's fine, but… I'm always worried about you."

Alex couldn't figure out how to answer her. If everyone thought there was something wrong with him… He was misjudging it, wasn't he? Leaving for the Lighthouse so much, even if he never got caught… There were consequences. So how could he explain himself if he told everyone they had him wrong, he wasn't shy, he was… He couldn't think of anything right now, and Mia was waiting.

"Well, they've got it right. I'm just shy." Alex lied.

"What? No, you're… not." Mia looked very confused.

"Don't argue with me! I said I'm shy and I mean it!" Alex snapped. Then he realized how convincing that must have sounded. "I mean… People are so hard to talk to. I don't know how you do it, Mia."

"Uhh… All right then. If you say so, you're… shy." Mia seemed to be having a lot of trouble with that idea. "But… Alex, any time you ever want to talk, I'm here. Got that?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Alex replied with a smile. Might as well keep acting.

"Right. So, are you coming to help teach Megan and Justin? They'd be glad to see you around more." Mia seemed to think she'd solved something.

"Sorry, not this time." Alex replied. He didn't need to give a reason. Not if he was some… nothing.

"Oh. Okay. Some other time?" Mia looked a little hurt. Why'd she have to be so stupid?

"Maybe. See you later." Alex finished, walking off without looking back. As soon as he could he turned a corner and broke into a run, dashing through the village until he was out of breath. Stumbling to a halt, he leaned against the back wall of a house, out of anyone else's sight. Had to catch his breath. Had to think.

If he wanted everyone to think better of him, he'd have to spend more time in Imil. He'd have to hang around chatting about all the usual pointless little things, smile for people he didn't even like all that much. He had to… but it sounded like so much work, killing time here where the days dragged by so slowly. Why should he bother? When would he ever need to put so much effort into maintaining just the right image? If he could just get back to the Lighthouse and forget about all this stuff… if nobody else cared when he was gone, he could spend as much time there as he liked, couldn't he?

Standing up, Alex noticed a weird heap of fur a few feet away. He leaned closer to look, pulling back and retching when he saw what it was. Jacob's dog was dead. Looked like it had died in the night. It was all stiff and its eyes were all gross and… Should he go tell someone? Mia would still be around. But what was the point? All the village crowding round a dead dog in the morning, feeling dreary and hopeless. That'd be as useless as trying to heal it had turned out. That pathetic creature had just hung around here miserably until, one day, it died. Sooner or later probably hadn't made much difference, not when it was bound to die all along. Alex ran off, heading for the woods at the edge of the village where he could slip away unseen.

Once he was a good distance from Imil, Alex slowed down, picking a more careful route beneath the trees. Soon he'd be back. Back at the Lighthouse. Alex knew nobody else was at all comfortable with its existence, it was so different, nothing like the houses people built and understood. But it was better… Shouldn't that be obvious? So comfy without needing to be cozy, everything seemed stable and still, like something vast that you just didn't need to worry about, the sort of change that would never change, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Besides, it was where he'd found out how different everything used to be. Life was supposed to be loud and long and exciting, a load of important people from every corner of Weyard writing books together about rich, exotic, powerful ideas… But not these days. Not for a long time.

Alex shivered. He seemed to have misjudged how cold it would be, here, today. Who'd have thought winter set in so early, so quickly? He hadn't remembered it like this… But he was doing it again, thinking thoughts that felt strange. Just focus on walking through the trees…

This was taking far too long. He should be nearly there, but the woods weren't thinning out. Weird. Maybe he should climb a tree, check he was still heading the right way. Reaching the top branches, scanning the horizon in all directions… This was impossible. It couldn't… The Lighthouse wasn't there! Why wasn't it?… That unmistakable tower, visible from miles away, was just… gone.

Alex climbed down, getting rather scared. This couldn't… it couldn't really be happening. He'd better just get back home, forget about… whatever, and it wouldn't have happened. He'd be able to see it when he was in Imil, and try again some other time, when… whatever. He headed back the way he'd come, determinedly staying calm.

Paying his surroundings such close attention he felt a little paranoid, Alex was relieved to reach the edge of the woods exactly when he should. Except… something wasn't right. Passing the last few trees, he should have been able to see the first few houses from here. There was nothing. Beyond… There was nothing. A vast snowy clearing lay before him. Imil was gone too.

Alex stood there, staring. This… Nothing… He ran through the snow, through the space where all the buildings should have been, looking for something that made sense to… When he reached the empty air that used to be his house, Alex stopped. Nothing… He collapsed on the ground, out of breath long ago without noticing. Did he really have nowhere left to turn? Alex raised his head, looking east just in case. If only he could get there after all, all he'd really wanted… Still not… It was gone for good, wasn't it?

As he got to his feet, he noticed a bit of paper lying in the snow. Picking it up, he wondered. Was this what he'd been hoping for? It was a single printed word. Alex let the sheet drift out of his hands. 'Disowned'… What did that mean? Was Imil gone because the village had disowned someone? Alex gasped. They hadn't noticed he was gone, hadn't told him who he was supposed to be disowning or where everyone was living now! They'd come back for him, right? Unless… Alex started to feel sick. It didn't mean him. It couldn't mean him! He was just a kid, he hadn't done anything wrong! Not yet… Wait, what? He hadn't done anything wrong, that's all!

Try to keep calm. Could he wait here? Sit around alone with nothing? No. Where could he walk to? Nowhere was near enough. So just… not here. The sea, then. Alex laughed. It would be freezing cold, but this was winter after all. He could just sit and watch it all freeze over. Cold nothing forever! Alex ran off with his eyes closed, back through the woods.

What else could go wrong? The air was getting warmer. Alex looked around. Sand between the tree roots. Huh. Kept running, so… Thinning out. The trees were gone. Looking up. Probably. The sun was high in the sky. Far too bright. Down… Sand everywhere. Alex spun around. An endless desert, even behind him! Standing there shakily, he just didn't know what to think anymore.

The air was wavering too. It was too hot. Way too much. The sun was too big. It looked too close, and he was boiling. Alex brought his arm up in front of his face. It really was boiling… All the water was boiling off, steaming away, and his skin was all gross and… He fell, face hitting the ground, fingers digging into the sand and finding rock just underneath. Rock! He tried to pull away, but didn't have the strength. Just felt bone dry. Every drop of water was seeping away into the sand, boiling off into that blazing sun… He was going to crumble to pieces, a pile of sand…

So he had nothing left. Practically dead. Except that wasn't quite right. Someone else would intervene, somewhere, or had done already… Wouldn't it be different, having to live without being all he had? Seemed to be worth the bother. He couldn't even see where the vapour had all drifted away to now. There was a little more water coming… How'd he know that? Jupiter? Well, whatever. Couldn't feel sorry for himself in the real world, but that should be over with now. He had to be someone who could cope with anything… Heh. Good thing he already was.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Isaac sat staring at Alex. What on Weyard was he dreaming about? Or maybe he didn't want to know. At least Felix should be back soon. Three, two, one… The door opened. Weird, how randomly good his intuition sometimes was. Isaac smiled as Felix walked in, followed by…

"Mia? You came?" Isaac was a little surprised. She'd seemed glad to get away earlier.

"Did he really…" Mia dashed over to Isaac's side, shaking her head as she saw for herself. "Oh, what an idiot!"

"He is, isn't he?" Felix agreed. "So, what do you think?"

"I… think you'll have to show me how it didn't work." Mia replied.

Isaac grinned as he stood up to try again. Mia was here. She could heal anything. If she couldn't figure this out, it just wasn't worth trying. The second try certainly didn't work (just as she'd requested).

"Maybe… You two always use as much Venus as you can in your Alchemy. He could just be sick of earth or something." Mia wondered. Isaac and Felix met eyes, a little surprised. They'd never have thought about it like that.

"Then I guess you'd better try Mercury, right?" Isaac offered.

"Yeah…" Mia closed her eyes, starting to gather swirls of endless blue in her palms. Think calm, kind, gentle thoughts… Her eyes snapped open. "You know, I might just try…" She decided, rather irritated, walking around to start searching the room's cupboards and shelves.

"Try what?" Felix asked, getting curious.

"Pure Mercury. He did seem to appreciate that earlier, if nothing else!" Mia finally fished out a bucket, filling it with water herself. She didn't generally bother with taps anymore.

"How's he s'posed to drink…" Isaac started to ask, straight away feeling a little stupid. "Oh, right, he's not."

"Right." Mia flung the water at Alex, narrowly avoiding throwing the bucket at his head too.

As the water drenched him, Alex's eyes opened, a slow smile spreading across his face. He sat up on the edge of the bed, toying with his dripping hair and looking thoroughly lost in thought. Everyone else just stared. Even though Alex kept flinching and his breathing was constantly shallow and pained, he seemed to be completely ignoring the hole in his chest… It was even starting to bleed, and he was just sitting there, totally oblivious!

To be fair, Alex did have a lot to think about. Left with the memory of a very peculiar dream, with all his usual thoughts once more accessible, he found himself coming to some strange conclusions.

First time around, he'd been too bored of Imil to consider the scenery especially pretty, and memories don't tend to change by themselves. Going back there, he'd only seen it the same way, as the same child, even if he'd appreciated it at the start without quite knowing why. Thinking about it now, how different it was to the place he'd been stuck in far longer… Imil was beautiful. The sky, the snow, the smoking chimneys… Amazing. He still didn't really like it. It was a weird feeling. Though he didn't know why he'd been so struck by that word… Disowned. It wasn't exactly banishment, and even if it had been, he didn't want to go back! He'd thought it left him nowhere. He had… Ah. He had a space in Lemuria, as an unwelcome guest. His name was 'Alex, hated'. Perhaps it did make some sort of sense.

Anyway, some thoughts seemed far harder to fathom. Why'd he keep going on about the weather? Was there anything he couldn't quite let himself think, even in a dream? The sun had been too intense, right at the end. Unmistakable… The golden sun. Was he… What an insult! The golden sun was the best thing to ever happen to him! Maybe he'd been through a lot for it… But if he hadn't, he'd probably be dead by now anyway. That, or old and miserable… Certainly as good as dead.

Anyway, he was alive now. Even that… It was because of other people, wasn't it? Dreams pointed out some strange, rather obvious things. For as long as the other part of the golden sun was out of reach… For however long he couldn't bring himself to take it from Isaac, to kill Isaac… He didn't care about any other plan. His life would be just… Just hanging around, not at all wanting the sort of goals that kept other people going. Waiting, surrounded by all the beautiful distractions he'd been trying to ignore. Not like suffering. Nothing at all like what he was used to, what he understood, what felt far more solid and real than really believing he was up here, suddenly rescued and happy… These people only wanted to help. He'd better try and get along with them. It might be a relief. Might even be what he wanted… second choice, at least, out of three.

Felix coughed. Alex looked up, suddenly aware of how strangely everyone was staring at him. Mia was here, and the other two. They were all looking rather pale. Hadn't they sorted everything out? He'd made it so easy for them!

"Trouble?" Alex asked.

"What?" Isaac's voice sounded a little higher than usual.

"Trouble? Yeah, you are." Felix replied, waiting for an explanation.

"No, no… Was there trouble?" Alex repeated. "Did the philosophers cause any problems?" He clarified, when they just kept looking at him strangely.

"No, like I said, you're the biggest problem. Want to tell us what on Weyard you were thinking?" Felix was starting to sound annoyed.

"What exactly did you think was going to happen?" Alex demanded. "I could hear what was going on at your end of the room, you know. Do you really think I could have raised a sword against a loved and trusted 'Governor of Alchemy' in a room full of angry people and got away with just walking out with you, holding hands? They all hated me, and seeing me do something so appalling… I confused them, left them too unsure to object to you getting me out of there! Who'd threaten a man who already looks so hurt?" Alex noticed, as he finished, that his explanation had left Mia looking quite appalled too. What was up with her?

"You didn't need to." Isaac whispered. Alex noticed Isaac was looking even paler now.

"Need? It was the best way. It's not just those scholars who'll judge me by my actions there, is it? News must travel fast these days, now everyone can teleport. If those academics wanted me dead, how do you think the thugs in Tolbi or Prox are going to react?" Alex glared at Isaac. Why'd everyone have to be so stupid?

"Know what? You're right!" Felix snapped. Alex looked over, surprised. Felix was really angry. "Some people will really hate you! So what are going to do about it? Stay one step ahead, rip yourself to pieces? Think they'd be satisfied unless you went the whole way and really killed yourself? How is that the best way out?" Felix paused, glaring at Alex, who couldn't find a reply. "Trust us, Alex! We won't let anything happen. Just stop attacking other people, and stop attacking yourself!"

Alex nodded, a little shocked. Felix sighed. Alex really was trouble.

"Right… Sorry then." Alex eventually replied. He still thought he'd done the best thing in the circumstances, but Felix was right. He couldn't do it again. "So… Everything's fine now, right? That's all…"

"Fine? You still…" Isaac's voice was getting even higher.

"What?" Alex asked. Everyone was still staring at him.

"You're… your…" Isaac shook his head, not quite believing it. Beside him, Mia was looking just as pale, but awfully grim.

"Look down." Felix advised.

They watched as Alex did look down, finally seeing what he'd done to his chest. It had been bleeding so long, the red had seeped down his clothes to pool around him, dripping down onto the floor. Alex paled, his eyes widening. After a flicker of golden light, Alex's wound was healed, his tunic was mended and the blood was gone. Isaac wondered if he'd absorbed it. Still, Alex was looking scared. That, at least, didn't surprise anyone.

"That… That was really hurting…" Alex whispered, totally unnerved. "But I… I didn't…"

"Notice?" Isaac asked. Alex nodded, staring at the floor.

"Don't notice much, do you?" Mia muttered. Alex glared at her.

"You could have told me, you know!" Alex snapped.

"You could have told me!" Mia snapped back. "When Felix told me what you'd done, I… I actually thought you might be sorry! Thought you were apologizing… I was pretty stupid, wasn't I? You're just… just selfish and crazy. That's all you've ever been." Mia finished, once again fighting back tears.

"Yeah, you're stupid! Why'd you always have to think there's something wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with me, so leave me alone!" Alex snapped. Felix and Isaac stared. Where did that come from?

"Alex?" Isaac wasn't sure what to say.

"Just… Just forget I said that." Alex muttered. "What… What she said proves my point earlier, though, doesn't it? Can't expect much from the rest of Weyard when even one as kindhearted as Mia detests me." Alex noticed that seemed to have shocked Mia, made her even more upset. "Oh, come on. You made it quite clear you hate me. Remember earlier? You said you wished I actually had died! You threatened me with execution!"

"What's he talking about, Mia?" Isaac asked, rather shocked; he hadn't thought Alex would start lying like that. When Isaac saw that Mia was backing off, barely blinking back tears, he went over to comfort her, wishing he hadn't spoken so insensitively. "Hey, it's all right. Whatever you said, I know you didn't mean it like that. I know you didn't mean it." Isaac pulled his friend into a hug that she gratefully returned.

"I… I…" Mia couldn't say what she meant. She hated hating. "I… I… I…" Mia sniffed and pulled away, pulling her sleeves straight. "I… I've got to go… Go make a cup of tea. Two sugars, no milk!" Mia snapped, her eyes flashing angrily, before she turned and half ran from the room.

"Alex! What did I just say about attacking other people?" Felix growled.

"I… Sorry, I suppose." Alex replied. The others were both glaring at him. "But… if she doesn't mean it… why'd she do that to me?" Alex frowned. That wasn't what he'd meant to say. Again.

"Don't you understand what you did at all?" Isaac demanded.

"Nothing I've done has anything to do with her!" Alex insisted.

"No. You…" Isaac sighed. He couldn't believe he was going to have to explain. "You abandoned the world, Alex. Wanting the golden sun just for yourself… The Wise One couldn't trust mankind when it saw that, didn't think we could bring back Alchemy without bringing back all those wars, the selfish power struggles that would destroy the world… We had to prove ourselves. At Mars Lighthouse, we… I thought I was making a very painful sacrifice, worse than giving up my own life, to save the rest of the world. I had to do that to convince… Because you were so selfish…"

"Is this why Mia hates me, or why you do?" Alex interrupted. Isaac blinked, remembering what he was supposed to be explaining.

"I don't hate you, Alex. I can't." Isaac sighed. "The point is, you stopped caring about the rest of the world, discarded everyone who wasn't useful to you - even admitted it to Felix once, like there was nothing wrong with it! Because of you, the world almost wasn't saved. Acting so heartlessly…" Isaac trailed off. They'd all reached a certain unspoken agreement before they rescued Alex, thinking about what he'd done. Isaac couldn't bring up the worst thing, because if Alex didn't regret trying to… nobody could justify this sort of kindness towards that sort of monster. They'd talk about it when everyone was sure Alex would really regret it. Isaac tried again. "The point is, you grew up with Mia. While you turned into someone who would leave on a cruel, selfish quest, she was there every day, spending more time with you than anyone else. She knows she can't have been your biggest influence, though we've never been able to figure out what was… She knows her kindness helps people really. Still, sometimes what you know can't stop you feeling responsible."

"Oh!" Alex laughed. She was giving herself credit for a miracle she wasn't happy about, and taking it out on him. "So she's just being selfish too!"

"Guilt is not selfish!" Isaac snapped, rather too loudly. Alex looked intrigued. Isaac sighed. Why did he keep talking without thinking?

"What do you feel guilty about, then?" Alex asked. This was getting interesting.

"Alex! Attacking other people?" Felix reminded him with another glare.

"Right… Sorry, then." Alex apologized again.

"All you need to know." Felix continued. "Is that you and Isaac are very, very different. You don't feel guilty, but you actually should."

"Perhaps." Alex answered simply. He was very glad they didn't know much.

"Which raises another point." Felix went on. "A short while ago, you almost tried to kill Isaac. Then you didn't. We know why you almost did. Have you given up for good?"

Alex wondered what to say. Clearly, 'no' was not an option, but… How much would they understand?

"Please. Do you still want to kill me?" Isaac whispered, meeting Alex's eyes.

"I… I can't imagine just letting myself die. I can't just die, when I could just… Not die. But I don't want to kill you! That should be obvious. I can't kill you. And I've got a lot of time to think, before I… run out of time. I want you to stay alive because of who you are. So… is that enough?" Alex fought to keep his voice steady. It was only partly a lie. He couldn't tell them how he wanted to hurt Isaac, because of who he was… Meaning this lie was far too much of a truth. Well, he couldn't let himself keep thinking he hated Isaac. Those barbaric feelings were completely out of place, obviously as self defeating as the motives of the lowest idiot. If he wasn't going to kill him yet - and he could only try again once he was sure he could go through with it, sure he wouldn't mess everything up again - if he wasn't going to kill him yet, he had to like him, now, not… Anyway, if they understood what he was saying, saw how much it meant he valued Isaac's life, then this was the most convincing thing he could say. They couldn't expect him to place someone else's life above his own!

"Yes." Isaac smiled. "Yes, I think that is enough. That's very unselfish. Thank you."

Alex couldn't help but feel surprised to see Isaac smiling at him. It was just as he'd hoped, except… It was more. Isaac looked so happy. Like, throughout everything Alex said, Isaac had been determined to think the best of him, and now he could. In fact… Alex was a little disturbed. If he'd had more of a choice, he wouldn't have trusted these people with nearly so much knowledge about himself, but then Isaac wouldn't have so much faith in him now, wouldn't see and somehow like what he saw… It didn't mean anything. Alex knew, if they saw a little more, they wouldn't be so happy. Even that was irrelevant really. Trust was just… an unimaginable impossibility. Always. Why was he thinking this?

"I'm not so sure that's enough." Felix interrupted everyone else's thoughts. "But it'll do for now."

"Good." Isaac laughed. "So shall we get out of here?"

"I suppose we should keep showing you the world." Felix sighed. "What did you learn from Kraden?"

"Aging, planetary expansion… quite a lot." Alex replied. "I think I'd like to go out and see what he was talking about now, if that's fine with you."

"See the world…" Isaac thought. "We could see a lot of it at once. Want to go flying?"

"In the ship with wings? I thought that was still…"

"Not that. Plana wings." Felix interrupted.

"Plana sells people wings." Isaac took over. Felix always tired of explaining himself. No wonder Alex was annoying him so much. "She lives in Contigo. She started… I think it was twenty three years ago now. She was about… I guess she would have looked about six, by the old standards, though she was older of course. Her mother was telling her the story of the flying ship, showing her the designs in the ground on the outskirts of town, when Plana asked why people didn't make wings for themselves too. Her mother told her that nobody had though of it like that. Generally, Alchemy makes anything possible, but it doesn't do anything unless you think of something. That can be a lot harder than it sounds."

"I know what you mean. Really." Alex assured him. If he hadn't finally thought of telepathy, he'd still be… How much longer would he have lasted? If he hadn't thought of something… His whole life. Alex shivered. Flying sounded great.

"Plana grew her first pair of wings on her own shoulders, creating all the bone and feathers and stuff within a couple of months. She grows them on trees now, in batches, and she'll attach them to anyone who doesn't have the Alchemy to do it themselves. They usually last a few years, if you take good care of them when you're not wearing them; hers are permanent. They don't exactly work like bird wings, they're not strong enough for you to fly with just muscle power, but using them takes a lot less Alchemy than flying by yourself. I have a spare pair at the palace you can use if you want, or we can buy you your own." Isaac finished. Talking so much did get a bit tiring, but it was sort of fun too. Such a lighthearted topic was a relief this morning.

"Sound good?" Felix asked.

"Of course. I'll use yours, Isaac." Alex got up to go, then remembered his sword. Picking up the fire brand that Felix had left on the floor, Alex noticed the others looked a little shocked.

"I thought you said…" Isaac sounded unsure.

"This was a gift, wasn't it? Can't I keep it?" Alex asked.

"A gift… Sure. You can keep it." Isaac smiled again. Taking the sword's scabbard from his belt, Isaac handed that over too. "Let's go."

yes!!! i finally did it!!!




i finally made it to chapter 2!!!!! :C
your story is so awesome!!!! :)

This story is so well written!

Great chapter! This personality side of Alex was.. cool. B)

Have you ever read a fanfic before? The chapters are usually not very long! But this, compared to everyone elses, is first class, and a great length! (it seems though that some people are slower readers than I am)

You did it! Way to go Mathias! Eheheh... ^_^

This side of Alex is... going well, it seems. However, this chapter is only half done, and that wasn't the half I was most worried about. I guess if it really is anywhere near 'first class', I shouldn't worry too much. '-_- Oh, and I'm glad I now have two opinions on length to think with; very short and very long. I like opposites very much. You might have been able to tell that from my fic, or maybe there haven't been enough in there yet; in which case, be warned that any theme you like may only be there less than half the time.

Chapter Five. (Continued.)

Felix waited with Alex outside the House of Light while Isaac fetched everyone's plana wings. Alex was a little nervous about looking at the sun again, but his eyes were still drawn to it the instant he stepped outside. He needn't have worried. The sun was still brilliant. He still loved it. Five minutes later, Alex was still staring up at the sky when Isaac returned.

Fitting the wings was easy once Alex saw how the others did it. The Alchemy that joined the wings to his back overlapped with his clothes in a strange way that Alex didn't really like. He eventually just tore a couple of holes in his tunic instead. He could fix it later.

All three sets of wings were brown, though Isaac told Alex that they were made in plenty of other colours too. Spreading his wings, Alex decided brown feathers and blue hair didn't look quite right together. He had a look at the Alchemy, and managed to turn his feathers white fairly easily. Stretching them again, Alex grinned. Glossy white wings, stretching out a yard either side of him… They looked… On second thought, the imagery wasn't very welcome. It was like the world kept trying to tell him he was dead. Alex turned his wings brown again.

"Made up your mind?" Felix asked, trying not to smile.

"This is fine." Alex shrugged. Watching the others take off, Alex followed, until the three of them were flying east over the ocean, matching each other's speed.

"Got to keep gaining height." Isaac explained. "Most of the monsters have died off now, but the ones that are left are quite strong. Once we get about thirty feet up, we shouldn't get bothered."

"How high can you go?" Alex asked.

"Not sure. The air gets thin if you go too far up, and it gets harder to breathe, like on high mountains. People who've messed around have sometimes passed out… You should be able to tell in time." Isaac replied.

"In other words, don't climb too close to the sun or I'll fall?" Alex asked. Very bitterly.

"Stick with us this time and you'll be fine." Felix answered. Alex didn't reply.

As the quiet flight stretched on, Alex found he was enjoying himself. The sea below was beautiful, after all. The way the morning light reflected off the waves… The cold air was incredible. Just to be here… He'd never thought he'd experience anything like this again. All his thoughts were stilled. To find that happiness could do that too…

Eventually, a cluster of islands started to show through the mist in the distance. They were already headed straight for them. Alex wondered how many times these two had flown this route.

"Those are the Apojii Islands. Did you ever go there?" Isaac asked. Alex shook his head.

"If you had, you'd see they're a lot bigger now." Felix continued. "This is where Weyard's expansion is measured. You'll be able to see how soon."

Sure enough, as they approached, Alex could make out the many flickering golden lines radiating from the land's highest point, stretching straight out across the ocean every way except to the west.

"Those things are coloured air lines." Isaac explained. "Well, it's not exactly the air that's coloured, it's the space, or they'd blow away… I guess you get the idea. Weyard's growth isn't exactly uniform, but keeping track of these distances to the edge gives us more than enough information to calculate a reasonably accurate ratio, so that we know how large the planet is from end to end without having to keep measuring the whole distance."

"Makes sense." Alex replied. They wouldn't need so many unless they wanted to average out slight variations… And the islands were wonderfully green in the morning light. And how did they make sure the lines were perfectly straight? And…

"What's wrong? Bored?" Felix asked.

"What? No…" Alex frowned. Did he really look…? He was used to not letting his face betray his thoughts, but he hadn't thought he was still -

"Isn't this what you wanted to be doing?" Isaac asked.

"Yes! Flying like this, seeing all this… Really. I've always wanted…" Alex realized what he was saying.

"Always? Is this a part of what you wanted Alchemy for in the first place?" Isaac wondered. This sort of freedom… That would be a much nicer thought than all they'd thought his plans had been.

"A small part, I suppose." Alex admitted. It seemed to be what Isaac wanted to hear. "Not quite like this though." He added. Flying with these two would have been a strange thing to have wanted back then. It was a strange thing to enjoy now.

"Not like this? Like what?" Isaac asked.

"Well…" Alex decided there was no harm in explaining a little. "Just me, going wherever… faster than this too. Much more…"

"You want to go off on your own?" Isaac interrupted.

"What? No. No, I know I can't…" Alex hadn't wanted to sound like he was complaining.

"It's all right. You can look around a bit by yourself if you want." Isaac offered. "Only if you want." He added when Alex just looked at him, clearly surprised.

"I…" Alex realized it would be good, to fly by himself for a bit. "Thanks."

"We'll wait here, okay?" Isaac smiled. Alex nodded, turned and flew off, dashing upwards without really using his wings. Within seconds, he was just a distant dot in the sky.

"Why'd you let him go off on his own?" Felix asked. He hadn't wanted to interfere with how Isaac wanted to handle this, but still…

"This is Alex. If he thinks we won't give him space, he's going to resent us pretty soon, right?" Isaac answered.

"And if he gets into trouble?" Felix asked.

"His Alchemy's not supposed to be that dangerous. I don't think anyone would be able to attack him either. Besides, if he does get into trouble, he won't be so keen to wander off again, will he?" Isaac smiled innocently.

"That's true!" Felix laughed. "Still, better hope he's all right."

"Yeah. Well, we can wait." Isaac sighed. Couldn't help worrying…

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Alex flew higher and higher, until the Apojii Islands were a distant speck at one end of the strange landscape below him, and Lemuria was a faint dot at the other end, with a sparse scattering of other islands in between. Who'd have thought the land could ever look so small? It was like looking at a map, except it was real, the sea shifting and glittering distantly… It was unreal. How many people knew the world looked like this?

Flying off again even further westward and upward, Alex found something was bothering him. Surely this was perfect… Wait, it was because he couldn't see Felix and Isaac any more. Why would that bother him? Alex flew even faster, annoyed at himself. But not for long. When the continents started to appear on the horizon… That was a distraction. It was breathtaking. Alex forgot to breathe for quite a while.

In the air above Gondowan, Alex spotted someone else flying a lot higher than thirty feet up, though not nearly as high as him. Going down a little for a closer look, he could see it was a man in his late thirties - he must be older really, of course - scanning the area impatiently for something. Alex thought he looked familiar, but couldn't quite tell why. As he got closer, the man seemed to notice him.

#Hey there! You with the blue hair! Are you of Lemuria, Imil or Garoh?# The man hailed him telepathically. Alex stopped, a little confused. That was a strange question. At least he hadn't been recognized yet. His own vision was probably better than most people's now.

#I've just come from Lemuria. Who are you?# Alex replied. It didn't seem like bluntness mattered to this person.

#Saul of Lalivero. So you were in Lemuria. Did you see, then? Is it true?# Saul of Lalivero sounded very anxious, and Alex had a feeling he knew why that might be.

#Is what true?# Alex asked, just to be sure.

#That the worst murderer of the Unlit Age has returned! What else would anyone be talking about?# Saul shot back.

Alex was shocked, despite what he'd expected. He was not a murderer! At least… Not yet… He hadn't even done most of the fighting back then, though the way rumours worked, people might think he'd killed with Saturos and Menardi, or Karst and Agatio, when they were fighting their way through enemies… Though the Proxans had a better excuse than him, enough to be remembered as heroes by some, and Alex knew he was the one who'd been seen all over Weyard. Suddenly, Alex remembered where he'd seen Saul before. Outside Venus Lighthouse when he'd been fighting for once, to help Jenna and Kraden get away when Jenna had just proved herself remarkably dedicated to their cause, willing to fight her way through an army to continue the quest for the same reasons as her brother… Saul had been the second soldier Alex had attacked. All Alex's opponents had been shocked by his appearance, manner and Psynergy. They'd thought him a monster, which had been exactly what he'd been aiming for at the time. He'd thought his reputation wouldn't matter once he became all-powerful… Alex wondered if he should leave and wait for help dealing with all the people who hated him like he'd promised Felix, but he quickly dismissed that idea. If he couldn't handle talking to one person, that would just be pathetic!

#Well? You do know who I'm talking about, right?# Saul seemed to find it very strange how long Alex had gone without replying. #Alex. The one on the Aleph Memorial. The one who fell with Mt. Aleph!#

#Alex of Aleph? Yeah, I know who you're talking about.# Alex finally replied.

#Good. I was really starting to worry… Hey, 'Alex of Aleph', that's just right for him. Why'd no one ever think of that before?# Saul wondered.

Alex wished he hadn't said that. Why'd he have to play around with words? Now he'd gone and got himself renamed. This was worse than 'Alex of Imil'… Though perhaps not quite as bad as 'disowned'.

#Did you want to talk or not?# Alex sent, trying not to sound impatient. He wasn't looking forward to the reaction when Saul found out who he was talking to.

#Yeah. Are you going to talk then, or what?# Saul asked. Alex realized he must not be used to people who aren't that chatty…

#Better land somewhere.# Alex decided, pulling his wings back and diving down, hopefully too fast for Saul's eyes to quite follow. He was right over the cliffs left over from the Suhalla Gate, as good a place as any. Perhaps this was putting it off… But if Saul spent a little more time talking to him first, maybe his reaction wouldn't be too bad.

#Sure, I guess…# Saul seemed to be getting a little unnerved by his behaviour already. #Is it big news, then?#

#Why don't you tell me what you've already heard first?# Alex asked, landing at the foot of the cliffs, with Saul starting to follow at a much slower pace even though he was hurrying too. Looking around, Alex could see what Kraden had meant when he talked about the land growing, and growing wilder. The cliffs stretched as far as he could see either way, and the pathways higher up had mostly collapsed, leaving heaps of rock all along the ground. A few hundred yards of patchy brown grass dotted with spiky bushes ran along the base of the cliffs, eventually giving way to proper woodland blocking any distant view there might have been of the sea. Alex would still have considered it a fine place if he'd been free to enjoy the light shining down and the life growing all around… But right now, he wished he could have picked somewhere less dry, somewhere more blue.

#What I've heard is really, really bad. Someone passed through Lalivero a little while ago saying somebody'd told him the Governors of Alchemy had brought back this psycho and taken him to the House of Light, where he went crazy and started attacking everyone! The Governors had to stick a sword through his head to stop him, and - you know what the worst part is? It didn't kill him! Nobody was quite sure how true it all was, so someone went to Lemuria, where someone else said she'd just seen them leave. She said it was true, except she'd heard they'd sliced his heart out, but either way, they'd just flown off and they hadn't even put him in chains! Don't know what the Governors are thinking… Don't know where they were headed either, but I'm supposed to be watching the skies here, so if you have to land to talk, better not take too long. Where exactly did you land, anyway? And who are you? Why didn't you give your name earlier?#

#I'm… down by the…# Alex couldn't see any landmark to describe, so he just lit up a patch of air above him instead, trying to mimic those coloured air lines. That was the easiest question answered… Could he give his name yet? He'd just unnerve Saul if he lied then let him see who he was, or told the truth, or didn't tell him… And what could he say about those rumours? Saul would never believe nothing had happened.

#Thanks, I see where you are now. But aren't you going to answer my other questions?#

#I… To be honest, I don't particularly like my name right now. Say, I know where I've heard of you before! You won Colosso that time, right? Didn't you used to live in Tolbi?# Alex tried to distract him.

#Uhh… Not for a long time. Lived in Lalivero since soon after the Lighting, when Sheba came back safe. I guess news travels slowly some places… Wherever you're from. There was a time one of Babi's soldiers moving to Lalivero would have been unthinkable, but I fought against our real enemy - the one that's back today!# Saul sounded proud. Alex wouldn't have called it a fight exactly. He'd sent Saul flying with one jet of water, and hadn't seen him again.

#So why'd you move to Lalivero?# Alex asked. Saul was landing now, about a hundred yards away, right by the cliff. He was walking over… He'd see him soon.

#It's good and dry there. Close to the desert. It's… You! You're… you…# Saul stopped and stared.

#Yes, I am me. That should no longer pose the problem it once did, assuming you're still willing to talk to me.# Somehow, Alex doubted he would be.

Saul raised his arms, and Alex could tell he was about to use Alchemy. It felt like fire… Maybe he should let one attack hit. Not to let himself get hurt, just to not look invulnerable, infallible and inhuman this time.

"Anyone can do what you did now! I'm stronger! You'll see!" Saul yelled, letting loose a stream of white-hot flames that Alex found he had to shield himself against a little. Still, when they died down, he looked a bit singed…

"Yes, you're stronger than me. So would you please just leave it at that?" Alex called back. That only seemed to scare Saul even more.

"You… I'm not falling for anything! What are you… If I can win this, I will!" Saul shouted, hurling more fire at Alex. More and more…

Blocking it all, the flames fizzling out as they reached his skin, Alex gave up on talking to this idiot. He'd just have to leave, let the Governors deal with Saul later after all. Alex turned and stepped away, about to take off again, only to find that the air behind him felt solid as a stone wall. Why was there a barrier? Turning back, he saw Saul standing against the cliff face, looking terrified but… proud. Alex felt to see how far the barrier went, to find it was a huge dome trapping him with Saul… Because he couldn't break it. Didn't matter how weak it was, he couldn't break it! He checked to see if he could warp through it. The way it blocked that was even weaker… But he still couldn't get through. This was ridiculous! The way their strengths compared, it was like holding the sun in check with tissue paper! How could he be trapped again?

"Let me go! Now!" Alex shouted.

"I told you, I'm not falling for anything!" Saul yelled back, not letting the fire stop.
Alex clenched his fists, trying to calm down. He wasn't in any danger. Just had to tell Isaac, get him here to sort this out.

#Isaac! Can you hear me?# Alex demanded.

#Yeah. What is it?# Isaac sounded concerned. Good.

#Trouble. Can you come help?# Alex asked as patiently as he could.

#Of course. Where are you?#

#Suhalla cliffs. How soon can you and Felix be here?#

#Wow. That's miles away. Okay, we'll have to land and teleport somewhere nearer. We'll be there as soon as we can.#

#Thanks.# Alex looked over at Saul again.

"You can't keep me here. I've got help coming." As soon as he said it, Alex realized it had been precisely the wrong thing to say.

"You…" Saul paled and leaned back against the cliff, no longer attacking for a moment. "You're not going to win again!" He yelled, grabbing one of the rocks around him and flinging it at Alex.

Stumbling back, Alex threw his arms up to cover his face and made a barrier in mid air, stopping the rock before it got anywhere near him. Lowering his hands, he realized what a mistake that was too. Now Saul was going to… Why couldn't he just let his normal shield stop it? It wouldn't actually have touched him! Saul was starting to manifest rocks in the air all around Alex…

"I meant the Governors are coming!" Alex yelled.

"They're not here! Nobody's here to help me!" Saul yelled back.

As the rocks started flying at him, Alex made himself keep his arms by his sides, made himself trust his normal shield. He had to know he was perfectly safe, know that it didn't matter how long Saul kept this up, he wasn't going to get impatient, he was perfectly fine, completely safe, ignoring all the rocks bouncing off him and piling up around his feet… Alex tried to kick away the rocks that had built up on the ground, but it didn't do much good when more kept falling on him and flying at him and... He backed off as far as he could, hitting the barrier again and making himself step forward, telling himself these were just pebbles, just grit… There was no danger, so just wait! Perfectly safe, so wait…

A rock a foot wide hit him square in the chest. Alex was slammed back into the barrier, ribs cracking, head snapping back and hitting hard enough to feel as if that had cracked too… He collapsed forward, totally stunned, his head hitting the rocks littering the ground… Painfully. Couldn't have been more stunned. That should never have happened. Never! That hadn't been nearly enough to break his shield from the outside… So something was wrong on the inside! Something actually, definitely was wrong in his head, or that never… Something was really wrong with him, that he couldn't deny or ignore. His mind... didn't work any more when he wasn't paying attention? It never… It couldn't be… But it had to be. Stabbing himself in the back too! Something wrong with him… Alex could hear Saul walking over, but he barely registered it.

"That rock beat you, huh?" Saul said, calm at last, as he kicked Alex in the head. Then turned and walked away.

Alex gasped as his head slammed back down. Once, that rock may have beaten him, but now, to get beaten up by a bug! That awful, evil rock! It wanted to just do that to him and leave? It had to hurt for that, not just leave him there, had to pay this time!

Climbing to his knees, ignoring the blood dripping from his hair, Alex watched as Saul walked off back to where he'd landed by the cliff to look around one last time… Alex picked up the rock he'd been hit with and threw it at Saul's head. He watched as it hit, as Saul collapsed on the ground. He picked up another rock, holding it ready in his hand, and walked over. Saul was still breathing… Alex kicked him in the head. Saul was still alive. Alex kicked him again. Still alive. Alex lifted his foot -

#Alex! Stop! What are you doing?#

Alex spun around, saw Isaac and Felix approaching, and threw the rock he was holding straight at Isaac.

Isaac froze in the air, completely shocked. He knew he should have expected… but he hadn't. Not at all.

Felix raised his hand. The stone stopped, and fell back down to earth. Alex watched it fall. Oh no…

Alex backed away. The way they were looking at him… They knew now, knew how he wanted to hurt them and kill them, and wasn't he stupid to still want to finish off that other one! So stupid… And they were looking at him, so horrified, so sad, and they were going to kill him, weren't they? He couldn't protect himself when he should, really should, and Isaac had nearly infinite destructive power! They were landing, and Felix was seeing to the other one, and Isaac was walking this way, and Alex couldn't even look at his face any more… Alex backed off, shaking worse and worse, until he ran into the cliff behind him. His legs gave out, and Alex sank to the ground, trying to find something to say as Isaac kept walking over to him… There was nothing he could say, nothing in a mind with something wrong, really wrong!

"Trouble?" Felix whispered, kneeling by Saul. His voice sounded terrible…

"Don't… Don't kill me!" Alex found his voice, just about. "Please, don't…"

"Alex…" Isaac's feet were getting closer.

"Stop! Don't! Please, don't!" Alex scrabbled back against the cliff, grabbing another
rock without realizing.

"Alex. Look at me." Isaac told him. Alex did, looking up into Isaac's eyes. How could he have thought…? Isaac always had kind eyes. Always.

"Sorry…" Alex realized he was holding another rock, and dropped it as quickly as he could. How could he still be so stupid?

"Good. Just calm down." Isaac told him. Alex nodded.

"Is he… Is he… I can't tell anymore… Is he all right?" Alex whispered.

"I don't know. Hold on a minute." Isaac went over to talk with Felix. Alex couldn't hear what they were saying, and they were looking so blurry… Isaac walked back to Alex, knelt to talk to him. "He's alive, and he's fine now. Felix is just keeping him asleep until we're ready to talk to him, to sort this out somewhere else. You're going to be fine too, so just calm down."

"You… No. No, I tried to kill him! I… you saw, I still want to kill you, I really want to kill you! You can't keep…"

"Helping you?" Isaac asked.

"Uhh… Maybe." Alex didn't know if he'd meant that or not…

"I know you didn't want this to happen! Sure, for a moment, I was worried… But you made it pretty clear you hadn't meant for this to happen. You called us over, Alex, and if that had been to assassinate me, I think you would have managed something a little better than throwing a stone and going all terrified. I know you're trying. I'm not going to stop helping you just yet." Isaac promised.

"Oh. Sure, then… You're here, and… I think, I… I need that. I think… There's something wrong with me…" Alex whispered.

"Yeah, we all figured that out a while ago. Doesn't matter. You can trust us." Isaac told him.

"Sure…" Alex mumbled. "What… What do I… do I do..."

"Right now? Just rest, you look exhausted. Really exhausted." Isaac sighed. Alex had fallen asleep almost before he finished speaking.

"He looks tired of this?" Felix still sounded furious. "Next time you want a pet psychopath, I'm going to have to vote no!"

"Felix! You saw how scared he was!" Isaac stood up.

"I know, I know! I'm just saying, if we knew what we were getting into from the start… Well, yeah, I'd still have saved him. But all this…" Felix looked back down at Saul.

"Yeah, I shouldn't have let him go off on his own. He was too messed up, it was so obvious, and I told him to go…" Isaac couldn't believe he'd been so stupid.

"Hey, no! We were both there, and this… And you were right, he asked us to help, he was trying, and they're both safe now..." Felix wished he'd been more careful what he said. Now Isaac was blaming himself. Maybe he had a point, but Isaac was going to feel way too bad, for way too long.

"Yeah." Isaac looked around. "We'd better get them out of here."

"We should probably take them somewhere calming." Felix contributed.

"Then the best place is probably Mercury Lighthouse." Isaac decided. "Let's go sort everything out."

Aha.. Interesting.
I liked this.
......

I want more!!! :}

(Edit: Changed a little, made a bit more readable, hopefully, though it's still not done.)
(Edit II: *Sigh.* I seem to have lost all my readers... all the curious folk who once frolicked in this thread, even in my absence... Oh well. I'll update this post until I've finished this chapter, then I guess I'll leave it at that. Oh, or I won't - I've already met the post limit. There's no way I'm sending this fic to the top of the list when nobody replied to the last chance it had.)

"Oh! When I have the gout, I feel as if I was walking on my eyeballs."
Sydney Smith (1771-1845)

Chapter Six: Wreck.

Felix glanced around the base of the cliff. Nothing left to do here. Better get going.

"I'll take Saul, then." Felix decided. In a way, this reminded him of all the time he'd spent in Lalivero in the past, of all the nights he and Isaac had gone out drinking with Saul and the others and ended up having to carry someone home. Felix had always been able to drink twice as much as the others without getting nearly as drunk - Isaac only ever drank half as much as the rest of them anyway. Some of the effects of strong Alchemy were rather fun. Of course, some were disastrous. Felix looked back at Isaac, who was once again kneeling by Alex.

"You know, I think he's really hurt." Isaac muttered. "The way he was moving, he didn't look injured, but now he's... This is his own blood."

"So there's more to it than we saw." Felix answered. "Won't know what until we get out of here."

"Yeah, just... I wonder..." Isaac held out his hands, trying his healing Alchemy again. This time it worked. By the time the greens and browns faded from his skin, Alex was as fully healed as Saul.

"So something's changed." Felix acknowledged.

"He really does trust us now." Isaac's voice wavered. "It took something like this... but he really trusts us now."

"You, maybe." Felix replied.

"You too!" Isaac insisted, picking Alex up. "We're flying the whole way? Shouldn't be seen like this in town, around the teleport pads."

"Shouldn't be seen at all." Felix agreed with Isaac there. As for the part he disagreed with - it would wait.

The two of them flew off, heading north. The four of them were almost visible; one of many patches of air wavering in the sunlight above the cliffs.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Mia sighed, leaning against the wall with a cup of coffee in her hands. She should probably get downstairs again soon, help finish installing the new pressure tanks. Well, nobody begrudged her this break, and the quiet of the corridor was really quite a relief. She might just stay here a while longer. Soak up the feeling of Mercury that seeped from the stones here - from the very air! It was strange to think that she'd been a bit scared of it as a child - of the slight power the building had held even before it was lit. Once you got that it was just water, endless water, you could sit and sink into the feeling for hours... Still, it could get a bit boring. The tranquility made it strangely hard to notice, but hanging around here for too long, for weeks on end, would eventually make her feel like she was going stale. It was nice to visit Mars Lighthouse, times like that. The heat there gave her so much energy, she'd laugh and jump and feel like bouncing off the ceiling... Though that would probably hurt if she really tried it.

Sipping the coffee, Mia wondered how Isaac and Felix were doing. She was glad she didn't have to deal with that with them, but still... It didn't feel quite right, lounging around here while other people dealt with her problems. No, this wasn't her problem any more. She had to stop thinking like that. It never did any good. She gave the world plenty of help whenever she could. Everyone else said so too. She'd finish her drink and -

A clattering from the stairs drew her attention. Isaac and Felix came striding down the corridor, carrying... Mia almost dropped her coffee.

"Mia, good, we heard you'd be around here." Isaac greeted her. "Would you mind watching Alex for a minute? Sorry to ask this, but we've got to talk to Saul first and I'd really rather have Felix with me for that. It's just not fair to keep him asleep too long, he's the one who got caught up in this when it's not - "

"Wait. What happened?" Mia interrupted. This was odd, Isaac speaking too fast!

"We..." Isaac hesitated.

"Let him go off on his own. He ended up trying to kill him." Felix filled in.

"What? Why?" Mia gasped.

"We didn't think he'd... Oh, you mean why he tried... Sorry." Isaac sighed. "That, we don't know."

"So he just..." Mia drew back. "You want me to watch him? Shouldn't he be... What exactly are you planning on doing with him now?"

"He's sorry." Isaac replied.

"What?" Mia blinked.

"He's really sorry now. It looks like they might have got into a fight or something. I don't think he meant to..." Isaac stopped and began again. "Look, you don't have to do this, we can go find one of the others or split up. We just shouldn't leave this to anyone who's not a Governor, that's what King Hydros asked of us and we can't mess up again. See you - "

"No, wait! He's sorry?" Mia asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Look, you really don't have to help." Isaac maintained.

"No, it's fine. Really." Mia insisted.

"You sure?" Felix asked. "You did seem upset earlier. We don't know what's going on. The others are finishing their work before they get involved."

Mia couldn't quite tell whether he was trying to encourage or discourage her.

"I'm fine. Now come on, the third floor staff room should be free." Mia decided, turning and leading the way down the corridor. Isaac shrugged and followed. Felix grinned and followed after him.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sitting in the third floor staff room, her drink sitting forgotten on the floor, Mia was starting to regret her decision. Alex was lying on a sofa on the other side of the windowless room, showing no sign of waking up. Mia started picking at the fabric of her armchair. She didn't even want him to wake up, not really. This was stupid! How could he actually regret his actions now when he hadn't earlier?

On the quest, she'd seen so little of him, she'd never had a chance to stop him and make him explain himself, and hearing how he'd ended from the Wise One just hadn't... She'd believed it, of course, but it had always seemed like there might possibly, surely, have been some other explanation for his behaviour. Kidnapping people, trying to destroy a village - those glimpses of him didn't fit the kid she'd known for fifteen years, the friend she'd seen pretty much every day and known better than anyone else had, even if she couldn't honestly say she'd known him as well as she'd known everyone else - but that villain really was him! There was no denying it now, that side of him was the real one, they'd rescued him and that was how he acted and he wasn't even trying. He was just messed up. Must have been for a long time. She'd known an act. A false child. This person across the room was nobody she knew after all. And to think, she actually used to think he looked up to her!

Mia heard a ripping sound. She looked down. She'd torn the fabric from the chair's arms. She stood up, dropping the cloth on the floor and pacing to and fro along her side of the room. She glanced at him, and found herself laughing. He looked so young, lying there asleep with his wings crumpled beneath him, a funny colour against his hair. (He must have borrowed Isaac's spare set...) He looked so innocent... He'd just tried to kill... She made herself stop pacing, made herself stop laughing before the harsh noise hurt her throat. She sat down again. He shouldn't be freaking her out now - he wasn't even doing anything, he was unconscious! She was a Governor, watching over... this evil kid. Except he wasn't either. Unless he was. She sat and waited, staring at the ceiling.

Alex started to stir, and Mia couldn't help feeling relieved.

Lying there with his eyes closed, Alex frowned. Where, who...? That dream... It didn't want to fade. It was unsettling. Especially as this felt like Mercury Lighthouse. Still, that might be real. He lifted his hand, felt the back of his head. Nothing - but there had been a fight, he was sure of that now. And his shield... That part of his mind had stopped working. His own mind had dropped the shield that it had always maintained so effortlessly before... He'd let a rock hit him. He'd give anything for that to be a dream, but no, he'd let a rock hit him! What was wrong with him? Then Isaac... Alex's eyes shot open. He'd said... What was he thinking? Oh, of course. He still didn't know what he was thinking. Fantastic. Humiliated and stuck here, and his own thoughts were out of control. Not that they'd been in control for quite a while now. At least he used to be able to think they made sense!

"You said..." Alex started to say as he turned his head, before he saw who else was in the room. Just Mia this time. He scrambled into a sitting position, glancing around again even though he knew there was no point, not knowing how panicked he looked.

"Mmm?" Mia was sounding rather unsettled too. (Not that Alex noticed just then.)

"Where's Isaac?" Alex gasped, feeling very afraid all of a sudden - and immediately feeling very stupid too. Why did he have to ask that?

"He's with Felix, seeing to something else for a minute." Mia answered, frowning. Now Alex was acting different again! What was wrong with him? It wasn't like this was 'sorry' either! He was acting like a victim - and of course he was one, they'd just rescued him! But he'd just -

"Why... Ah, what..." Alex couldn't think what to ask. What was she doing here? Obvious. Where were the others? Not here. He couldn't believe it. They'd left, when he'd said... Did they honestly think his words so cheap? Did they think he'd ask for help whenever it was convenient for them? If only he could still trust that he could act on his own without ruining everything, over and over again... His head kept protesting about the stupidest things, messing so much up - getting in the way of killing Isaac. That was certain. Getting in the way of not killing him too. They didn't seem to think he ever would. They couldn't be right. It didn't matter that he wasn't trying to kill him now! He wasn't losing sight of the golden sun! He couldn't! He had to wait, sort out his head, plan properly or he'd never get a chance... Still, when it actually helped to have Isaac there, how was spending time with him going to make it any easier to kill him? He didn't want help and he didn't want to want it, and getting or not getting help wouldn't help... He had actually asked for help, and they had wandered off? How insulting were they trying to -

"Mmm?" Mia prompted him, when he didn't finish his question.

"Nothing." Alex whispered bitterly. How true was that going to turn out? Up here after all this time, did he have everything or nothing?

"I expected you to have a little more to say." Mia muttered back, a little bitterly too. Alex glanced at her, curious about that.

"As in?" Alex asked, after a pause.

"I'd been told I might expect an apology." Mia answered, sounding slightly annoyed. She shouldn't keep letting this bother her!

"From me?" Alex tried not to laugh. Wouldn't it make more sense for the world to apologize to him?

"Clearly not." Mia replied, trying not to sound angry at either of them.

Alex could see she was serious. He probably shouldn't be insulting one of his supervisors like this. It couldn't do much good. But she wouldn't appreciate dishonesty either, he was quite sure of that, and his acts did seem to keep falling apart quite spectacularly. An apology wasn't worth that much. Might as well see what he could come up with sincerely. Didn't exactly have anything better to do. Now more than ever, the idea of getting lost in his own thoughts didn't appeal. This conversation wasn't much of a distraction, or even much of a conversation, but it was something.

"Maybe I've wrecked a lot." Alex started, thinking through all the things he might say. "Generally ruined things for myself more than anyone else, generally to avoid loosing something far better, but still... There's a lot that I did wreck." He finished. He could feel bad about far too much now, and worse at the thought of not having done the opposite, but he couldn't determine anything he could possibly take back. Didn't want to think too hard about all that.

Mia stared at him. That was an awful apology, but it sounded real. This person did seem to feel regret. Her friend Alex used to be far better at apologies, but they had all been false. So this one probably was too. Quite an act, taking into account what she obviously thought of him. He hadn't seemed capable of that earlier today, or even earlier this minute!

As she stared at him, Alex looked away. He didn't know what reaction he'd expected, but for her to just sit there looking horribly grim... It wasn't making this wait any better. Alex briefly wondered if he should use his Alchemy, try and find the others. Underground, with the smallest manageable fraction of his power available, he'd been able to sense every detail for half a mile around; if he tried now, he'd probably be able to sense for miles and miles and miles... He couldn't cope with that. Dealing with normal sight was getting a little easier, if only because the clamour outside his head wasn't as unfamiliar now as the mess inside, but even the idea of all the buildings and people and plants and animals and air and earth in the Imil area in his head as well - it was too much! Far too much to think about. He'd stick to just looking. And to think, he'd wanted to know the whole universe at once! That idea was beyond overwhelming... It didn't mean he shouldn't own infinity, of course. He would just have to be very careful not to use too much before he was truly capable of it, whenever the time came.

Looking around now that he'd thought to, Alex decided that this room of Mercury Lighthouse looked very odd filled with cupboards, armchairs and little low tables. Some of the designs were sort of strange, but of course most aspects of life would have changed in all this time, much more so than in the few years he'd lived up here... On second thought, he didn't want to think about that either. Glancing again at Mia, Alex saw she still wasn't looking much happier than him. He'd already noticed how the feeling of Mercury here had grown. In a strange way, it was quite an accomplishment, for two people to feel thoroughly unnerved in a place that so dampened the emotions of its every occupant.

Mia hadn't been able to decide whether or not she really wanted to question Alex any further. If he made things worse... that hardly seemed possible, but it was probably all she could expect. Yet if she wasted this chance to talk to him, she'd leave still wondering what exactly was going on. If he was going to make a vague apology like that, she could at least try and find out what it covered.

"You said 'generally'. So do you care about having wrecked things for other people?" Mia finally spoke.

"Why are you asking me this?" Alex replied, frowning. He didn't need her prying.

"I just want to know if you're alright. I just want to know if I can help." Mia replied, as softly as if she were talking to a sick patient. Which must make him sick in the head, Alex decided. Now he had to be alright, nothing wrong any more, just so she didn't have to feel guilty!

"Still trying to judge me against my will?" Alex snarled. "Fine! I'm not alright. You may abandon hope if you wish. Nothing was ever your fault. Honestly, you can be quite merciless, Mia. I always thought so. Still, somehow I doubt you murdered Saturos and Menardi purely with emotional blackmail."

"Be like that, then." Mia shrugged, a little taken aback despite how little she'd expected of him. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Can you honestly say anyone has suffered more than me?" Alex snapped.

"That's not what I asked." Mia reminded him. "Do you regret anything you did hoping to make anyone else suffer?"

"Did you have something in particular in mind?" Alex asked suspiciously. He kept hearing that the rock had shown these people its memories, but they couldn't know about... If they'd seen everything, they'd never have rescued him.

"Anything in particular?" Mia tried not to start laughing again. Alex had sometimes been a bit annoying, before, but he'd always seemed to heed her when she warned that he was hurting other people's feelings. Which was worrying in its own way. "You were brought here after trying to kill a man, and you wonder if there's anything specific I might be talking about? Saul of Lalivero. Surely you remember!"

"Oh. Of course." Alex muttered. "It's only here on the surface that you get slime like that around the rocks, isn't it?"

"You can't be serious." Mia whispered.

"Ah. That wasn't what you wanted to hear, was it?" Alex realized, feeling very stupid. Again.

"No." Mia sighed. This was hopeless. "No. It wasn't."

"No..." Alex sighed. "It's not like I want to want to kill him..."

"You still want to kill him?" Mia asked sharply. How could Isaac have thought Alex was sorry?

"Don't look like that!" Alex protested. "Just because I - Isaac knows, and he's still here for..."

"And I'm seriously wondering why!" Mia snapped.

"Know what? Me too." Alex muttered. "So you don't need to be like that! I know you hate me. Whatever the reason, you're glad to see me hurt, aren't you? Saying things like that. And you know what I've been through already! At least Saul didn't know what he was doing."

"I don't want to see you hurt!" Mia protested. This was annoying. She was supposed to be staying calm. "I do know what you've been through, and I'm here for you. We all are."

"Changed your mind, then?" Alex laughed. "But you're going to keep on saying all those hurtful things, aren't you, Mia? Not so benevolent really, are you? Saul had no idea what he was doing. I'd seen to that before I could forsee the consequences. But you were there in Imil, weren't you? And you saw for yourself where I ended up. You found me there. You know how long I... For you to wish me more suffering now - unbelievably cruel!"

"I don't want to see you hurt, Alex!" Mia insisted, finding it increasingly hard to stay distanced. But Alex no longer seemed to be listening to her.

"Unbelievable. You wouldn't really be so cruel, would you? Not when you only want to think... So you simply don't understand." Alex decided, glancing around and laughing softly again. "Of course you don't understand! You lost me back then and found me this morning, almost your whole life in between. Can't comprehend it! How many sleepless hours there are in half a century. How much it hurt... And these first few minutes I'm not there, you think I still deserve pain!"

"I don't want to see you hurt! Listen to me!" Mia stood, glaring at him. Alex looked at her and shook his head, not quite laughing anymore.

"All the - it doesn't show, does it? Healed myself every time. I look the same as before, don't I?" Alex glanced down, taking in his spotless clothes. Healed again. "Same as before! If I looked... even bruised, things would be different, wouldn't they? You don't get that it's not the same..."

"I know you were hurt, Alex!" Mia insisted, starting to walk over to him. Alex stood sharply, raising his hand and creating a barrier across the centre of the room.

"Don't you dare come near me!" Alex hissed, glaring at her through the invisible Alchemy in front of him.

"Fine!" Mia backed away from the barrier. She hadn't expected him to look so furious, so disgusted... "Just listen. I know - "

"No you don't!" Alex snapped. "You don't! You have no idea!"

"Fine! It's hard to appreciate properly. I know - "

"No! Stop saying that!" Alex shouted. "You don't see! Didn't see anything! All that rock, it wouldn't have left me spotless, then you'd get it! It wasn't... It won't..." Alex looked down again, frowning. He raised his arm again, as if he was going to cast another barrier. "A scratch. That's all you've ever seen! Barely anything. You don't..." Alex held his other hand beside his arm, casting Alchemy on himself. "This is nothing like how it - this is nothing. And I can heal in a second! Could never... not nearly so fast." Blood started to seep through Alex's sleeve and through his glove, all along from his shoulder to his wrist.

"Stop that! Stop that right now!" Mia snapped.

"Changed your mind?" Alex grinned, holding his arm steady as it kept bleeding. "You see, you didn't know!"

"Stop that! Heal yourself!" Mia shouted back. "If you can heal it in a second, then heal it! How can you do that to yourself?"

"How?" Alex shrugged, grimacing at the pain that movement caused. "I didn't get much of this sort of Alchemy, did I? Can't hurt anyone else. But that rock doesn't care about me. I thought you knew that already. I never expected much, but I didn't think you were that slow."

"No, I meant..." Mia stopped and seethed. "Heal yourself right now, or I'll do it for you!"

"Just because you say so? You?" Alex glared at her, starting to shiver slightly. "Still don't get it! How can you not get it?"

"Then we can talk after you calm down." Mia told him. She raised her arms and tried to use her Alchemy on him. The barrier blocked all her power, though, the swirling blue mist flowing along the surface until she let it fade. Alex watched and smiled.

"Even without that, I wouldn't have let it work on me, of course." Alex assured her. "You just have to see!"

"I see perfectly well!" Mia insisted, getting very exasperated. Nobody she'd treated had ever been quite this difficult. "I see you hurting yourself when you've just said you don't want to suffer any more! It's pointless!"

"It... it does hurt." Alex admitted. For a moment, he looked like he was going to follow her advice. "You're shocked, though. Treating this scratch like such a big deal. If this won't make you see..." Alex lowered his arm, trying to stop shivering. "What do I have to do? Bleed all over? Burn all over? You think this scratch is too much! I nearly died, so many times! If you're so shocked just by this, seeing what I really endure... endured, would make you so much more... You wouldn't act like just now, before this. You'd act... like you are now. But more so. Much, much more so. If you won't go away, you can at least try to understand. My... my arm's hurting... very badly now. Very badly. So shall I do the same to the other arm? Would that show you a little better why... why you shouldn't be mean to me now?" Alex laughed breathlessly, clutching his bleeding arm to his chest and getting blood all over his tunic as he kept on shivering uncontrollably.

"No!" Mia made herself breathe deeply. If her Alchemy wouldn't work, she'd just have to talk him out of this. "Honestly, Alex, you're the one who still needs to understand."

"No... No, I'm..." Alex sank back into his seat, getting a little too distracted.

"Thinking about you has always been painful." Mia explained, walking back to her chair. "Looking back would always make me wonder - was I not kind enough to you when I had the chance? Did I let something horrible happen to you without even noticing, when I was always there for everyone? Or was it just..." Mia sat down and picked up her abandoned cup of coffee. "Were you just rotten all along? Whenever I smiled at you, spoke to you, was I cheering on an enemy? It was hard, thinking about you, after... After what we thought happened. Couldn't ever forgive that, but it hurt to hate too, not knowing what my part in it had been. I was glad to forget about you with everyone else. After all these years, we'd almost managed to forget you ever existed."

"I really hate you." Alex whispered.

"Bear with me. I have a point." Mia assured him, stirring her coffee and taking a sip. It had gone cold, but it was more for the look anyway. "I can't just forget you now, can I? And I still don't know what to think. Or I don't want to know. But as long as there might be hope for you, I don't want to see you get hurt more than you deserve. I certainly don't want to see this. Wondering whether or not you still deserve it... How can't I feel guilty about that too? If you understand, what can you possibly accomplish by doing this to us?"

"You've changed. Not much though." Alex noted, slumping forward in his seat. He was turning deathly pale, and shaking worse than ever. "So I am hurting you... Good. If I wasn't so crippled, I could be... doing this to you instead. If you could imagine it feeling far, far worse... Or if I hurt you far more."

"Would you really? You care enough about my opinion..." Mia muttered to herself. Reaching a decision, she set down her drink and held up the spoon she'd been stirring it with.

"What... doing with that?" Alex mumbled.

"Showing you something." Mia told him. She ran her fingers over the spoon, using her Alchemy to reshape the metal. Once she was satisfied, she held the new piece of cutlery over her arm, watching Alex's reaction.

"Knife?" Alex paused. "No. You wouldn't - "

"You want to watch someone else suffer?" Mia asked softly.

"Wait, what? What... What makes you think I want to see you harmed?" Alex demanded.

Mia could only stare.

"No, I mean... Yes, I... don't... I don't care! Do as you will, I don't care!" Alex snapped.

"Fine." Mia shrugged. "I'm giving you one last chance to heal yourself."

"No!"

"Right, then." Mia raised the knife and swung it down toward her arm.

"Stop!" Alex shouted, flinging up his arm to cast a barrier and falling back shuddering when that movement he hadn't meant to make hurt. It wouldn't even have worked with that barrier already in the way...

Mia had already stopped the knife an inch from her sleeve.

"Oh... You made it sound like you'd healed yourself." Mia made sure she sounded very disappointed. "But no, you're still making me watch you put yourself through something so dreadful... So you're going to have to watch me do the same."

"No, I... Just don't!" Alex demanded, standing up. "You shouldn't - Mia, that's not - "

"Three... Two..."

"Don't! Just go away!"

"One..."

"I'm healed! I told you, it was nothing! You didn't need to..." Alex backed away, glaring hatefully at her, still shaking even though all the blood had disappeared.

"Good." Mia set the knife down on the floor. "Now let me see your arm, make sure you've really healed yourself under your sleeve."

"Get out!" Alex hissed. She... How dare she make such a fool of him!

"You know I can't do that." Mia reminded him gently. Still, it seemed she'd better not push him too much.

"Get out! Out!"

"You're not to be left alone. Just calm down and wait with me." Mia told him, picking up her drink again.

"Get out... you evil..." Alex backed off into a corner, still shaking. "Evil..."

"I'm sorry, Alex. I shouldn't have... I just had to know." Mia smiled. "Thank you for showing you do care about me, at least a little."

"You..." Alex shook his head. "Wrong direction... I knew it. I shouldn't be spending time around... around any of you."

"I'm sure Isaac will be very hurt when he hears you said that." Mia couldn't help commenting.

"Evil!" Alex hissed.

"Sorry..." Mia sighed. "I'm not handling this very well either, am I? I know - "

"Stop saying you know." Alex sounded almost as exhausted as he did angry. "Just stop."

"Right. I'm sorry. I don't know. Is that better?" Mia asked.

For a while, Alex just glared at her, shivering in the corner.

"I would have hurt you. If I could have." Alex eventually spoke. "Just because... It doesn't mean I wouldn't have hurt you."

"I believe you." Mia told him. "Lashing out and seeing someone else do something stupid... They feel different."

"You..." Alex stopped, trying not to hate those words too. "You believe me. Good."

"It's not good!" Mia answered. "Why do you want me to think worse of you? Wait... Sorry. I shouldn't have - "

"It's not worse." Alex whispered. "This is worse. Such a wreck. Powerless. Can hardly stand it. Better if someone feared... heeded... If I could start meaning something. Like..." Alex closed his eyes. "Saul was afraid. Horrible shock, hearing that the world had such a low opinion of me. But... talking to him did feel... better, even if... so incredibly frustrating. Finally, once again, not pitied, tolerated and pitied, the way you all see me. Frustrating... against my goal, the way I need things - and want them. I think. I had to try and talk him out of it. Not in any position to... But I didn't do very well. He didn't calm down. Now there'll be trouble for sure. Still... He stopped fearing me too. Thought he'd beaten me. Looked down on me, utterly pathetic, not even worth finishing off... I should have left it at that. Couldn't stand it. There'll be trouble... But I showed him. Almost. I wonder how much he remembers..."

Mia sat and listened. So they did fight. Not that it made Alex sound any better. She might be able to understand, if he kept talking long enough.

"Senseless. I actually wanted to finish killing him in front of the others. What a sight that would have been. If I was still... right... I could manage it. Keep quiet until it wouldn't get in the way, until I could find a safe time to finish him in his sleep... or wake him up first..." Alex smiled for a moment. "But... no. Wanting him dead now, it'd just be... like everything. Not important enough to risk it. I can't intend - can't look so dreadful in front of every - "

"Is that the only reason?" Mia whispered.

"You..." Alex opened his eyes, giving her a strange look. "You're still here. Like... Could you accept that I'd want to kill anyone?"

"Accept?" Mia repeated. "Isaac wouldn't accept that. He'd just keep helping you. He wouldn't turn away. Right?"

"That's... it was something like that." Alex admitted. "But not - "

"Well, I... really, I am here for you too." Mia told him. "And perhaps I don't have to be. But that says more about me than you, understand?"

"Don't..." Alex stopped himself. Whatever they thought of each other now, this might just be a little more important.

"And if you want my opinion," Mia ignored the look he gave her. "It seems to me like you're far too used to pain. Obviously you would be, after so long, and nobody could expect you to get over it right away. Still, you have got to realize! I don't care what you say you were trying to prove, you were far too reluctant to heal yourself, and too reluctant to forgive someone else as well. That's not acceptable living normally, and you remember, I'm sure, but it doesn't yet seem to have sunk in again. Injuries are not to be expected, and certainly not casually tolerated!"

"This is beyond redundant!" Alex snapped. How insolent! Her telling him to stop suffering! Did she really think he needed telling? There was nothing wrong with him, except, except... Nothing should be able to hurt him, outside of... And he let himself get...

"I think that's - "

"Shut up! If you're not going to get out, just shut up!" Alex snarled.

" - Isaac and Felix at the door." Mia finished, giving him a reproachful look automatically. He didn't see it, of course. He was already staring at the door, looking absolutely horrified.

The barrier that ran through the middle of the room finished against the middle of the door, blocking it from opening. On the other side, Isaac was just starting to get puzzled when he heard Mia's voice through the wall.

"It's no good, it's - you'll have to teleport in and take a look. I'm not exactly sure what to do about this." Mia admitted.

"Hold on a moment." Felix called back, stepping up to the door. He brushed his fingers past the hinges, melting them away, and leaned the door against the wall out of the way.

"I guess that's easier. You're fixing it later?" Mia checked.

"Of course." Felix assured her, edging past the barrier into the room.

"What's wrong with Alex?" Isaac asked from the doorway.

"He's been in a funny mood. He'll be alright." Mia answered, walking over to Felix, who was studying the barrier. Isaac wondered whether having known Alex in the past, like them, would leave him a little less concerned for him now. Probably. Unless they knew something he didn't.

"I see what you mean about this. Don't think I could dent it!" Felix commented. At that, Alex started laughing raggedly, still shivering in the corner.

"What exactly - " Isaac started, as he followed Felix into the room.

"You'll have to mind read me." Mia interrupted, glancing at Alex too. "To be honest, I'm not sure if I helped at all or just made things worse."

"You always help, Mia." Isaac told her, before starting to catch up with her thoughts. By the end, he found himself less surprised than he would have hoped. Clearly he hadn't had that much faith in Alex either. Why couldn't he have a little more hope? Obviously, not too much either... Why couldn't he just be there and help? Like Mia - she really had helped. She shouldn't be doubting that. He sent her that thought as soon as she finished filling Felix in.

#Thanks.# Mia sent back. #But then, I could say the same to you. You've seen, now isn't it obvious? You've already helped him. More than I ever did, at least.#

#Either of you feel like helping now?# Felix interrupted, bringing their attention back to the problem at hand.

"Right." Isaac walked up to the barrier too. He wondered if Alex would mind them removing it. "Ah, Alex? We really need to get rid of this at some point, to keep using the room..." Alex glared at him, obviously having figured that out already.

"Of course. Sorry." Isaac continued, trying not to feel foolish. "And I suppose, now that you've made it, you can't - "

"Destroy." Alex whispered. "Golden sun..."

"You're right, I probably can destroy this." Isaac replied, hoping that was what Alex meant.

Placing his hands on the surface, Isaac realized just how much force it would take to break this thing. More than he'd ever had to use before. It would take much less Alchemy to move the door or redo the walls. It'd take less destructive Alchemy to create a new city-size crater outside Contigo! Was this safe?

"What are you waiting for?" Felix asked.

Isaac remembered that Alex had seemed to create this barrier easily enough. So he should be able to match that. He nodded to Felix and broke the barrier. It was easy. Once it was gone, Alex did look disappointed. He must have minded anyway.

"Uhh... Governor Mia?" A hesitant voice drew the room's attention to the blonde youth standing in the doorway.

"Yes? What is it, Damien?" Mia asked, hoping he wasn't too spooked by the sight of Alex staring malevolently from the corner - presumably for the crime of being there at a time like this.

"Th-they need you downstairs, they're up to 800 atmospheres and it might be more than the seal mechanism can take so..." Damien trailed off, shifting uneasily.

"Why don't you try asking Master Keren?" Mia suggested.

"Away at the Soap Makers' Guild talks. They might not strike if the ban on imploding - "

"But I told them to schedule those next week!" Mia insisted.

"You did?" Damien glanced around helplessly.

"In that case, try asking at Jupiter Lighthouse. If there's nobody free there, at least they'll know where everyone actually is." Mia told him, thankfully managing to not quite sound annoyed.

"Oh, well... There's something else..." Damien hesitated, glancing reluctantly at Alex then trying to ignore him again.

"Yes?" Mia prompted.

"Uhh... By the fountain. People." Damien replied. "Can you...?"

"Fine, fine." Mia sighed. "Let's go down - "

"Might want to go upstairs." Damien interrupted apologetically. "Balcony."

"Ahh... Alright." Mia cast a worried look around. "Take care, Isaac, Felix... and... take care of him."

As Mia swept out of the room after Damien, everyone else started to feel a little worried too. (Or rather, a little more worried than before.)

"Saul had better not have done anything stupid." Felix muttered.

"...s..." Alex seemed to be having trouble speaking. Unless he'd been trying to keep quiet, with just as much trouble.

"We talked to him." Isaac started explaining, filling the space that had been left to him to do something with again. "We tried to find out what happened. To you two. And tried to get him to understand. He didn't want to listen, but it sounded like he'd started something, and... made it difficult for you. And now, it sounds like you... hate him for that. Could you explain any more? We still don't know exactly what happened."

"Sau... that..." Alex tried to focus - one set of thoughts at a time. (For now.) "He is... truly alright?"

"He's shaken, but otherwise fine." Isaac answered.

"Oh. Oh well." Alex looked relieved and, again, very disappointed.

"Is there anything wrong with that?" Isaac asked, hoping Alex really had decided to trust him.

"You know. You saw, you know already!" Alex snapped. "After what he did, what he dared - And now I have to let him get away with it!"

"Get away with it? Do you even understand how close you came to..." Felix managed to cut short his reprimand. He'd been so shaken to see - and that attitude! But this wasn't the time.

"Thank you for being honest, Alex." Isaac continued, while Felix tried to calm down. "Saul seems to want you dead too. It's not all that awful for you to feel the same way right now."

"That lout has never felt anything like - I wouldn't simply wish him dead! That wouldn't rule out an easy death!" Alex snapped.

"What exactly did he do? So he tried to start a fight with you - how did he ever hurt you that much?" Isaac asked. Rock might explain it, maybe, but it still didn't make any sense.

"You would have to know, wouldn't you?" Alex seemed to be agreeing. "In a way, I should be thanking him. I hadn't appreciated, until now, just how - how vulnerable I've truly become. Saul illustrated quite clearly the way every man, woman and child on Weyard is now capable of trapping and torturing me."

"Trapping?" Isaac sighed. "You can't break barriers. And - "

"I'll spare you the details." Alex interrupted.

"Oh. Sorry." Isaac replied, a little embarrased.

"I really do need your help, and I will until... Until the day you die." Alex finished, staring intently at Isaac.

"Things won't be so volatile for long." Isaac replied, trying not to focus on that last part. "It might take a few months, or a few years, but most people will come to accept that you're here and it's not the end of the world."

"Until the day you die." Alex repeated. "Wanted me to be honest about that too, didn't you? Saying it doesn't matter if I need you dead! I can't do a thing to kill you now, and that's... it doesn't make... a 'thank you for being honest' just because I can't! You can't mean that, you can't..."

"We're here for you. We mean it." Isaac answered, getting very concerned. Alex was shivering even more violently than before, looking furious about something, though Isaac couldn't tell what. "Was this what you wanted to talk to us about, when you woke up?"

"When I..." Alex scowled. "That was no good."

"Why?" Isaac asked. "It looked like something was troubling you." Isaac thought he heard Felix trying not to laugh.

"Of course something was troubling! After - " Alex broke off, wishing he hadn't said anything. That certainly hadn't been what he'd wanted to talk about then!

"After? After the fight?" Isaac asked.

Alex shrugged, then realized they couldn't tell the difference.

"Yes." Alex hoped that would dismiss it, but clearly not. He should have been able to make it sound like yes. It just sounded like that wasn't what he had meant.

"Oh. Well, if you don't want to say... But you actually looked peaceful, just before. When you were asleep. I guess you remembered everything when you woke up." Isaac tried to smile. "I wish I had such good dreams. Enough to drive memories of a past like that away completely. If only for a little while."

"No! Couldn't want that one! It was not good. It wasn't, not at all!" Alex suddenly looked scared.

Isaac glanced at Felix, but he didn't have a clue either.

"Uhh... Wasn't it?" Isaac asked.

"I just said!" Alex replied, rather annoyed. They were talking about it after all.

"What was wrong with it?" Isaac tried again. "You did look calm, so..."

"Like that doesn't make it so much worse!" Alex snapped. "Know what? Guess! What was it? If you're so - Tell me that!"

It sounded to Isaac like Alex wanted him to get it wrong. Like he was asking him to get it wrong. Perhaps Mia had been right. And perhaps Alex wanted to be free of something. The dream couldn't be so obvious as... Trying to think what to say, Isaac wandered over to the wall and sat down. He ran his fingers along the carvings in the floor, trying to find the underlying rockiness in this tower of water. The Venus inherent in the rock was always there, but so drowned out, it always felt like the walls should have been worn away long ago by the constant flow. Turned to sand and dust. Perhaps the longevity conferred by Mercury was all that kept the place standing.

"I'm sorry." Isaac eventually sighed. "This is beyond me. Alex, what you've been through already - I honestly can't imagine going through that myself and still being in one piece at the end. I can't even think what else... whatever else might scare you, I can't guess at it."

Isaac looked up and saw that Alex had turned away, kneeling with his head turned down towards his own corner of the floor. His hair fell forward, completely hiding his face. He wasn't replying. Isaac looked over to Felix, wondering if he should do something. Felix shook his head. He was sitting too, leaning against the wall by the door, looking very sombre. He wouldn't have wanted to say what Isaac had said. More than that, he wouldn't have wanted Isaac to say it. Maybe it helped for now, a hint of admiration - but it was not a good sign. Not at all.

"N..." Alex broke off, trying to get his voice under control. It was only then that Isaac realized - he sounded like he was crying. It should have been obvious, except... After a few moments more, Alex continued. (Still sounding a little shaky, but from this voice, Isaac never would have guessed exactly why.) "Not quite... There wasn't actually anything in... nothing in that dream would ever drive you to suicide, Isaac. Not unless you're possessed of some strange fear of... of snow, or cake, or..."

"Cake?" Isaac echoed, wondering for a moment if that somehow was a phobia of Alex's.

"A gift to us from Mia, for the grandchildren." Alex turned around, not wanting to miss Isaac and Felix's expressions. He almost smiled.

"Whose grandchildren?" Isaac was starting to get some idea why Alex might not have liked this dream.

"They... they were..." Alex shuddered, very creeped out. "They looked like me. Except none were of... none had blue hair. And they were playing around me and m... an old woman, only... my wife. In the dream. And... and their mother was there, my... daughter, so I must have, at some point, with..." Alex looked like he might throw up.

"This was in Imil?" Isaac checked, giving him a distraction.

"No, Prox." Alex replied sarcastically. Isaac looked slightly confused. Alex sighed; perhaps nonsense was expected of him now. "Of course it was in Imil."

"A dream of what would have been?" Felix asked, looking thoughtful.

"Dream, vision. Something like that." Alex replied. "If I hadn't left - or even before any of... Where I'd be by now, at least. So old already! Never escaped, but I didn't seem to mind. It didn't matter to me, that I'd only have, something like, a decade or two, growing even older and more withered, nearer death... What sort of sleep is that? Twisted into not caring, happy about giving up! Can't... I can't possibly feel like that was... couldn't ever be content to be frail and suicidal. How could I feel like that? How could that dream be anything but horrifying, to think I could... could feel like that? To look back on it as... peaceful..." Alex shivered desperately, scared of what was in his own head for it to act against him, of whether something unseen had failed him by those Suhalla cliffs because of some unshakeable death wish, whether all he said and did meant it was getting worse... "I don't want to die! I know I said, when you first - when I didn't think I'd really - and Sheba said, but she didn't need to, I mean, she shouldn't have needed to! Nothing I'm doing is... Oh, it won't go away, and I - I don't want to die!"

"Yeah. That's obvious." Felix reassured him. "That wasn't how you felt in your dream."

"Surrounded by loved ones, happy to spend all the time you have left with them, knowing your life was everything it was meant to be." Isaac smiled, thinking back. "I remember growing up in Vale. Such a small world, ending at the village gates. Playing by the river, seeing our parents watch and smile, we knew everyone felt... like that."

"Unless that's nostalgia." Felix commented.

"Might be." Isaac admitted.

"It was something... more like that, yes. I can't quite..." Alex sighed, a little recovered. "If I loved my friends and family there, I can't remember how that felt." He looked pensive for a moment, then shrugged. "So it wasn't me."

"Doesn't it matter that it could have been?" Isaac asked.

"It couldn't have been. Not me." Alex answered. "If I weren't me, it hardly matters whether some stranger could have been happy. A waste of an infant that showed such potential. Perhaps I've not gone from that to become perfect. Not yet. But I still have time! I can..." He fell silent, looking suddenly saddened. Though Alex had been staring distantly at the wall already, Isaac started to get the impression he was trying to avoid looking at him.

"You can...?" Felix asked mildly. As he heard that, Isaac felt quite saddened too. It looked like they really would be using Felix's plan. Maybe Alex wouldn't take it too badly. Maybe... But it was for the best. It was all they could do.

"Staying wouldn't have been good anyway." Alex continued without answering Felix's question. "Nobody in the village knew, but Mars Lighthouse would have fallen by then. By now. Sitting in a cozy cottage, glancing out the window, that... person... thought Mercury Lighthouse marred the landscape. Such coldness, a looming reminder of some nameless danger from ages long past - and good riddance to those times. He drew the curtains, stoked the fire, sat with his family and smiled. All the while, the world fell away, soon to be lost forever."

"That wasn't why you left." Felix replied.

"No, it wasn't." Alex answered, meeting Felix's gaze. When neither moved for a long while, Isaac decided he'd better interrupt the staring contest.

"It was just a dream. If you'd stayed, maybe the rest of us would have managed without you, saved the world all the same." Isaac offered. "You could have been happy."

"You're probably crediting yourself with too much. You weren't that important." Felix agreed.

"Let the world be saved without me?" Alex turned to Isaac, ignoring Felix. "Let another reach the top of Mt Aleph, lay their hands on my future? I couldn't possibly allow that."

"So the dream's no problem?" Isaac asked, trying to look on the bright side despite Alex's dark expression.

"It's no answer." Alex sighed. "And if it was irrelevant, I... I still don't even know that it's not... Why else? Why... why else?" He slumped against the wall, staring at the floor.

"Answer to what?" Isaac wished Alex was a little easier to figure out.

"What do you mean, answer to what?" Alex demanded. "You think there's nothing to be questioned, existing like this? How much blood have you seen this morning? And for no point! You think I don't need an answer? I have to get rid of - I have to fix! - I won't -"

"What's brought this on?" Felix interrupted, smiling a little. "Earlier, didn't you say there was nothing wrong with you?"

"Felix, after the... fight..." Isaac considered showing him the memory, but decided Alex (if he eavesdropped again) might not appreciate such a vivid reminder of his dazed mumbling. "He changed his mind."

"And what exactly did he mean by that?" Felix answered.

"I know you didn't want to talk about the details, Alex, but we will listen, and if we can help..." Isaac hoped Felix would stop glaring like that, but if Felix heard Isaac's emphasis, he ignored it.

Alex found it slightly amusing. Would there be a disagreement over him? More important, at the moment, was whether to tell them exactly... He'd allowed himself this much comfort, and this sort of thing was supposed to help. And it did. But not fast enough!

"After the fight? I'd rather you didn't call it that. If I'd meant to return the attack, I'd have left myself nothing to return, so that doesn't... I suppose you wish to hear what exactly happened."

"If that would help." Isaac answered carefully.

"Obviously." Alex replied. The others waited. The pause stretched on.

"So were you going to say...?" Isaac eventually asked.

"Yes." Alex nodded, gritting his teeth. His hands were clenched painfully. It was so hard to break old habits - but this one was no use to him right now! "I only... I knew there'd be rumours, I thought I might start to disperse them. Saul told me of all - of the things people are saying about me, but before - I couldn't talk to him before - when he saw who I was he... " Alex glared at the floor. "He hit me."

"You don't say." Felix smirked.

"With white-hot fire and boulders and - oh, forget it!" Alex snarled.

"Please, don't mind him." Isaac was beginning to wonder whether Felix ought to leave. "You were attacked. Saul admitted that."

"So he still sees nothing wrong with it." For a brief moment, Alex looked angry again, but it soon faded into an expression he used to wear far more often. "Well, it was to be expected."

"And yet the predictable little thug caused you such trouble..." Felix reminded him.

"I suppose you'd have responded alike? Tried to sit it out patiently, doing no harm?" Alex snapped.

"What went wrong?" Isaac asked. "What did he do that was so extraodinary you couldn't - "

"More of the same. You saw the debris. Very... very unpleasant. Still nothing that... could have threatened..." Alex hesitated, but didn't hear any welcome interruption. "I didn't realise I'd stopped protecting... my shield wasn't there when a... a rock h... t..." Alex had to stop. He held his breath. Breathing was getting too difficult.

"You were distracted." Isaac nodded.

"Dist...?" Alex stared at him incredulously. "You do realise what would have happenned to me long ago if my shield had ever failed, ever faltered? Would you call total unawareness of my surroundings a distraction? Would you call years of continuous screaming, not the slightest pause when there's no breath to draw, no pause for thought in the pain - would you call those years...? I don't just... I don't just... hurt myself..." Alex closed his eyes, curling up around his knees. "W-why isn't it over? Not... not screaming any more, not - not really there, never going back, th-they don't have to keep reminding me..."

Isaac suddenly turned ghostly pale, his hand flying to his throat. Felix was sure he was the only one to hear Isaac's hoarse whisper.

"It wasn't dad..."

Looking round the room at his two shellshocked companions, Felix sighed. He stood up and walked over to Isaac, laying a hand on his arm.

"Wha?" Isaac blinked.

"Weren't you going to talk to...?" Felix reminded him.

"Right." Isaac rubbed his eyes. "Th-thanks."

Moving away from the wall, Isaac sat down in a chair nearer the middle of the room.

"If it's difficult... Give it time. And we're here, until then. I mean, afterwards too." Isaac frowned, trying to clear his thoughts. Alex raised his head, listening. "Even if the reminder wasn't as bad as the real thing, if you were trying to avoid it, then trying to put up with it... It's not your fault you got hurt."

"No, no!" Alex shook his head, hair falling across his face in tangled strands. "I have it in for me, I know it!"

"You don't." Isaac wasn't too sure about that, but it wouldn't do to tell Alex so. "Right now was always going to be difficult. Nothing can solve that. You have time - "

"Nothing?" Alex echoed, eyes narrowing. "One thing... The only thing! Waiting, risking all that... I should have just..." He stumbled to his feet, reaching for the sword he'd been given. It wasn't there.

Of course it wasn't there. Alex stared across the room, his face burning. They didn't even look surprised.

"For my own good too, I suppose." Alex managed, in a rather choked voice.

"It's still yours. You can have it back, once you're feeling - "

"More myself?" Alex interrupted, glaring helplessly. Why did they have to look so sorry for him...

"Alex..."

"Just die! Why can't you just..." Closing his eyes, he turned away, reaching for the wall to steady himself. The floor had to be still, really. He felt like punching the wall - but that hadn't turned out well earlier, had it? He managed a question which he hoped might still make some slight difference. "Too honest?"

"No. It's far better for you to tell us - "

"Of course it is." Alex sighed. They were insane, but if they were still willing to ignore this... Yet they were bound to run out of patience before he ever managed to... If he could just get out of here! Maybe flying again. "Can... Can we go now? Outside..." They were looking awfully hesitant. "Or somewhere else here. I just - this room. I've been here too long. All this stone. I can't... Somewhere with a window? I can't see the sky here..."

He'd been here so long, so long ago, and these walls were the same as he remembered. Maybe another room would have changed more. He couldn't forget the power here. He'd been so different... from everyone. The power he'd found here. He'd always wanted more. It was so close. The sun behind him... He couldn't forget it here.

When they still wouldn't reply, Alex turned round, getting worried. Isaac wouldn't meet his gaze; Felix was watching this, looking increasingly annoyed. Eventually, when Alex was about to ask what was wrong, Felix decided to answer instead.

"You can't leave this room, Alex. Not now, not for months at least." He told him. "You might as well take those wings off, now you're grounded." He added, unable to supress a slight smirk.

"Felix!" Isaac couldn't believe he'd just...

"Then you tell him! Don't hesitate!" Felix snapped.

Alex would have wondered what Felix was so mad about, if his mind weren't still reeling. Even as he thought of warping away, Felix recognised the look in his eyes (the same expression worn by hundreds of Alchemist children the instant before they found Teleporting wouldn't allow them to escape the approaching teacher) and shook his head. Alex felt around desperately, sensing the new barrier in the same place his had been, until it curved to one side of the door, continuing along the walls, floor and ceiling. Trapping him inside his half of the room.

"No! No, it isn't... Oh, no, no, you can't!" Alex protested, wide eyed and horrified.

"It might not be for so long - it's just to give you more time, let you work things out." Isaac explained, wishing he had told Felix to leave. "Until it's safer for you to - "

"Traitors! You can't do this! You - you traitors!" Alex shouted, pointing a shaking hand accusingly, wishing he could still attack - drown them, burn them, anything! "You sick - "

"It's not that bad!" Isaac wasn't even sure that was true, if confinement was so distressing after... "There'll always be someone around, we'll bring some proper furniture from your room... if you think you'll use it. We'll get someone to bring you lunch soon... if you want it."

Alex opened his mouth, managing only a small strangled noise. Stumbling backwards into a footstool, he snarled, picked it up and hurled it at them; it broke in half as it met the middle of the room.

"I'm sorry. Really." Isaac sighed, as Alex continued throwing all the lighter pieces of furniture in his direction. "You didn't leave us any other choice."

"There's no point talking to him now." Felix advised, heading for the door. "We should come back later."

"No..." Out of things to throw, Alex scrambled over to the barrier, hitting and clawing at it frantically. "Again... Never... going to..."

"Felix, I don't think he's going to adjust to this the way we hoped." Isaac decided.

"We agreed. He's staying here until we know he won't try anything. We'll know when that is." Felix replied, slowly and clearly for Alex's sake. "Otherwise, it's when he's feeling better that he'll be a problem."

"He's had all the time in the world. He hasn't stopped caring about that. To keep holding him against h

Wait, your stopping or something? That would be too bad, because I really liked this fanfic. I'd love to see it keep going. Looks like no one has posted in a couple months, though. Please continue, unless you've really just given up on it. It was probably one of my favorite fanfics.

Weird how the last chapter gets cut off at 'h'.

Do I count as all the curious folk that frolick in this thread? :biglaugh: