Not intending to offend anyone in any way, I still want to wish a Merry Christmas to all of those of you who are inclined to celebrate this wonderful holiday. For the rest of you, I send you all my very best wishes for an exceptionally happy, fun, and meaningful holdiay season, and I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year as well.

I won't be around much the next few days due to family obligations, travel, etc. but will try to check in when I can...

Merry Christmas!!!!

Have a Merry Chaunawanzamas everyone!

Now see 420!! You offended all of us that cewlebrate Festivus. Please create a new word that includes us.

Thank you,

The CLU

:ph43r: :P

Representin' both Christmas and Wigilia here!

Merry whatever-you-celebrate!

I agree and in fact, if you don't celebrate anything at all, I still hope you have a happy time of it. :D

JT - Merry Chaunawanzamas for the restivus?

Works for me!!

:lol: :lol:

HAPPY NEWYEAR!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

...and happy whatever else you celebrate!

To Everyone in Canada from the Nation of BCC! :D

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the Annual Yuletide celebration,
And throughout our domicile, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as mus musculus.
Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning warming apparatus,
Pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist who goes by many honorific folkloric appellations.
The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose,
Were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruity confections moving rhythmically through their cerebra.
My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal cranial coverings,
Were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness
When upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance
That I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my own place of repose
For the purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.
Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing
The fenestration,
Noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without,
Reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline
Climactic precipitation,
Might be said to rival that of the solar meridian itself,
Thus permitting my incredulous optical sensor to peruse
A minuscule airborne runnered conveyance drawn by an octet of diminutive specimens of the genus rangifer,
Piloted by an aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble
That it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated visitor.
With his undulate motive power traveling at what might possibly have been more
Vertiginous velocity than patriotic, alar predators,
He vociferated loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia,
And addressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen,
Guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode,
Through which structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.
As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location,
And was performing a 180-degree pivot,
Our distinguished visitant achieved with utmost celerity
And via a downward leap entry to the aforementioned domicile by way of the smoke channel.
He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebon residue from the oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls of such channels.
His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle.
His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity,
While his submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability. The capillaries of his molar regions and nasal aptenance were engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers,
The former approximating the coloration of Albion's floral emblem,
The latter that of the prunus avium. His amusing sub- and supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot,
And their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen dihydrogen oxide.
Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece,
Whose gray fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of ilex leaves.
His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful,
His corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container.
Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementioned hosiery with articles of merchandise extracted from his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle.
Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt about-face,
Placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking,
And forthwith affected his egress by renegotiating the smoke channel.
He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance,
Directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden,
And proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed.
But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility:
"Ecstatic yuletides to the planetary constituance, and to that self-same assemblage my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable period between sunset and dawn!"


All general statements have exceptions - even this one!

:D

BOO POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!
Although I still wish those who aren't of the Christian/Jewish faith a Merry December/Winter Time...

It is quite funny that at no point in the Bible is a celebration of the birth of Christ accepted, Christmass (Intended spelling) is in fact not an actual holyday (intended spelling).

There are plenty of things that were never mentioned in the bible, and yet are now accepted by various Christian denominations, for one reason or another.

Besides that, the Bible probably shouldn't be believed on alot of things... remember when eating meat on a Friday was a sin? Well, neither do I, but there you are. :D

Merry whateveritisyoucelebrate to all. ^_^

Actually, I do. Me and my wacky Catholic family!

Okay, now that is a card I can get into!!!!

Yea Ess!

8 days of Chanukah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Chanukah/Hannukah y'all! This year it starts the day of Christmas so we'll celebrate together. :)

It's not Christmas in the Russian Orthadox Church till December 17th lol, so I get to celebrate Christmas twice this time (going seeing family in January).

Merry Everything, Everyone!

We just celebrated Christmas 'cause we're going away to Chestermere over Christmas. I got more makeup than I know what to do with!!!

Nice!! o0o o0o! Can I give you a makeover?

Sure!

*gives KD a cute makeover*

I used gold as the base on your eyes with this cute pink on the inside. then i did a thin strip of eyeliner, with a little bit of cat action on the side. Lifting mascara, of course. This base with bronzer. I used darker bronzer and blush on your cheeks, and a pinky lipstick. We did a lot on your eyes, so i kept your lips simple.

Wow you're amazing!

Go with me to FB's house?

hmm I think you may want to go there alone if you get waht I'm saying *nudge*

Hmmm, could I have a makeover? I'm in the need for some beautifying.

*Slips Bam Bam a bucket of tar and a huge bag of feathers.*

That should work wonders. :yes:

o_O

I totally know where that is!

Lived there long enough. If the lake's thoroughly frozen, I suggest taking a walk. Oh, and don't eat at the Steakhouse... food's good, the healthcodes not so much...

[/advice]

Merry Christmas ya'll

*Does Omni like one of those punk rockers*

Perfect!

SANTA CLAUS - AN ENGINEER’S PERSPECTIVE

I/ There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world, however since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or
378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

II/ Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say, that for every Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purpose of our calculations). We are talking about 1.25 Km per household, a total of 120.8 million Km, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 1040 Km per second........3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 43.8 Km per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 25 Km per hour.

III/ The pay load of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds, even granting that the “flying” reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with eight or even nine of them......Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV/ 600,000 tons traveling at 1040 Km per second creates enormous air resistance....this would heat up the lead reindeer in the same fashion as a space shuttle re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 1040 k p s in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 G’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

V/ Therefore, if Santa did exist, he’s dead now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

* SCHIZOPHRENIA:
Do you Hear What I Hear?

* MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
We Three Queens Disoriented Are

* DEMENTIA:
I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

* NARCISSISTIC:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

* MANIC:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

* PARANOID:
Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.

* PERSONALITY DISORDER:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.

* DEPRESSION:
Silent Anedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.

* OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock............(better start again)

* PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:
On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

* BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.






A JPL Christmas

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the
annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our domicile, kinetic
activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this
potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as mus
musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge
of the wood-burning warming apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory
pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric
philanthropist who goes by many honorific folkloric appellations.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their
respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious
visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving
rhythmically through their cerebra. My conjugal partner and I,
attired in our nocturnal cranial coverings, were about to take
slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the
avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a
cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with
alacrity from my own place of repose for the purpose of
ascertaining the precise source thereof.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing
the fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance
without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline
climactic precipitation, might be said to rival that of the solar
meridian itself, thus permitting my incredulous optical sensor to
peruse a minuscule airborne runnered conveyance drawn by an octet
of diminutive specimens of the genus rangifer, piloted by an aged
chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly apparent
to me that he was indeed our anticipated visitor. With his undulate
motive power traveling at what might possibly have been more
vertiginous velocity than patriotic, alar predators, he vociferated
loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia, and
addressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen,
guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through
which structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of
each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.

As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was
performing a 180 degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved
ù with utmost celerity and via a downward leap ù entry to the
aforementioned domicile by way of the smoke channel. He was clad
entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebon residue from the
oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the
walls of such channels. His resemblance to a street vendor I
attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings which he
bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle.

His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his
submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging
amiability. The capillaries of his molar regions and nasal
aptenance were engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous
layers, the former approximating the coloration of Albion's floral
emblem, the latter that of the prunus avium. His amusing sub- and
supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot, and
their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tabular
and columnar crystals of frozen dihydrogen oxide.

Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smokingpiece, whose gray
fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive
of a decorative seasonal circlet of ilex leaves. His visage was
wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his
corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of impectinated
fruit syrup in a hemispherical container.

Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the
aforementioned hosiery with articles of merchandise extracted from
his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth
receptacle. Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt
about-face, placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition
to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture
of leave-taking, and forthwith affected his egress by renegotiating
the smoke channel. He then propelled himself in a short vector onto
his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through his
contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and
proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly
among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed. But I overheared
his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to his
vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic yuletides
to the planetary constituance, and to that self-same assemblage my
sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly
pleasurable period between sunset and dawn!"

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note)

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons steal- ing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal
products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration. NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remain- ing gift package has been revised.

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses, and

ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.


Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed Yule. Oh, heck! Happy Holidays!!!! *
*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with the suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.

I read in the local paper that 95% of people in Columbus (at least among the survey respondents) celebrate Christmas. How many do so as Christ's birth compared to how many would be just doing the generic "family time" (as some athiests/agnostics/etc I know would celebrate) isn't specified...

No snow on the ground this year. The temperature got up over 50 on Christmas Eve and we've had rain on and off all day.

Time to do the family thing!

Merry Cristmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

Now lets all have some turkey.

We had a nice Christmas. I hung out here on the forum most of the day and wished everyone I saw a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah.

A couple of friends dropped by to visit and one brought me wind chimes. That's the third person in about as many years! I guess I'm collecting them, now! ^_^ :D

Hope everyone had a good day! :)

My family and I spent most the whole afternoon trying to do this puzzle. For only having 9 pieces it was CrAzY. About a million times we had them all matched up, except the last piece. Matching butterfly heads to butts is not as easy as you would think.

:lol: :lol: That made me laugh! :P

:lol: :lol: :lol:

So much like a lot of people I know with their heads up their butts.

:hide:

You laugh but this puzzle was really hard. My brother kept wanting to match butt to butt. :wacko: