I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the first post I made with my first column, but wow ... we freaking talk a lot.

Anyways ... new issue of UMM comes out ... uh ... soon. Week or two. But since I happen to enjoy most of you, I decided to give you a sneak peek by posting my column.

Hope you enjoy.



So … I’ve been thinking lately that we here at UMM should drop a letter from our name. Maybe call ourselves UM, or maybe even just MM. I mean, really, one of those solitary letters is getting between us and our fans. Which reminds me - if you need an extra letter for anything, Sean Combs freed up some “P” for you. Diddy? Yes, he really did.

Isn’t that shit just bananas? B-A-N-A-N-A-S? Is anyone out there able to tell me when the hell ‘bananas’ became a descriptive word? Maybe even what it’s supposed to mean? Or why Emo is still popular? Bueller? Bueller?

BANANAS! It’s the end of the year, for you guys at least. To let you in on a journalistic secret, it’s the end of September for me at the time of this writing, so I figured, hell, let’s take a stab in the dark and write a year-end “Best of” list. Here’s hoping nothing decent comes out after I write this.

So, here are a bunch of albums that I think topped the list this year in terms of originality, quality and overall greatness. Enjoy and happy holidays!

Hot Hot Heat – Elevator

Ever been angry, yet serene, all at the same time? Elevator displays that emotion quite cleverly, weaving some very strong lyrics through delicate deliverance, creating a very strong album that tops my list this year. From the catchy and intriguing ‘Goodnight Goodnight’ to the downright ear-candy-licious ‘You Owe Me An IOU’, this album delivers the absolute best from start to finish.

Fiona Apple – Extraordinary Machine

Long story short: Fiona Apple makes a CD (2003), Label says “thanks for the shelf fodder” (also 2003), fans get leaked album and spread it like wildfire (2004/2005), Label realizes money can be made, releases album (2005), this review says if it weren’t for Hot Hot Heat’s … well … heat, this would easily be the album of the year (2005).

White Stripes – Get Behind Me Satan

Once again, Jack and Meg White have gone to the far edges of the musical spectrum to create a stellar album that simply dazzles. Some will pass them off as an experimental garage band that is riding the wave, but this album truly shows how diverse the band can be, giving them many options to continue their success in the future.

System Of A Down – Mesmerize

If you weren’t cool enough to pick up the last issue of UMM to know what I thought of this album, you aren’t cool enough to know how good this album is either. But it’s my job to tell you … so I’ll just say these words: melodic, screaming, political, socks, amazing, gouda, astounding, boobies. Purple monkey dishwasher. BUY THIS ALBUM!

The Game – The Documentary

Instructions: Grab a large pot. Throw in some gin and juice, some blunts and bowls, an array of guest artists and producers and one deftly skilled lyricist. Simmer and stir occasionally to bring out the full flavour of all the ingredients. Remove from pot, sip gin and juice, spark up the blunts and bowls and throw the remaining items into your CD player and be amazed by one of the best Hip Hop albums released in awhile.

Stars – Set Yourself On Fire

Picture yourself out for a walk on a brisk Winter day. It’s cold, you’ve been walking for hours and you just need to sit down and gather some heat. You find a nice little coffee shop with warm people and a warm atmosphere. The hot chocolate you get soothes your weary soul and you feel relaxed and awake to the world yet again. This album is that feeling.

The Arcade Fire – The Arcade Fire

This is the perfect example of the little guys making it in the big leagues. Based off a small label, the band totally hit it big through word of mouth and a strong promotional campaign dominating the airwaves. Of course, an absolutely stellar album helped the cause. A totally different modern-rock sound than what has been making the rounds lately, but it creates such a chillaxin’ atmosphere that you just can’t get enough of it. Well done guys!

Mindless Self Indulgence – You’ll Rebel to Anything

This album is what I look for in a woman – fast, fresh and able to make me scream. For some, it takes about as much time to acquire a taste for MSI as it does to acquire a taste for Buckley’s cough syrup, but for the others that can handle the brashness of it, this is definitely an album to add to your collection. And hey, as a bonus, it takes about as much time to listen to this album as it takes George Bush to say “nuclear physicist” properly (estimated time; 30 minutes).

Fiona Apple album of the year? It's safe to say we don't share the same taste in music :P

(she's okay - but best of the year??)

I've heard of Hot Hot Heat but haven't heard any of their music (that I can remember)

I'm not up on the entire scene so I can't really pick a "best of", I would say that the disc I've enjoyed the most this year is "Z" by My Morning Jacket.

*nods* Yes ... after seeing your pick, I would agree, we do have a totally different taste in music. TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

I'd like to think one of us has taste. LOL

Chances are, you have heard HHH - they are alllll over the airwaves. "Goodnight Goodnight", "Middle of Nowhere" and ... erm ... one other song ... are all currently rotating on radio play lists.

What about the new Yanni CD? ...... :puke:

Huh? Wha? Or ... sorry - I only pay attention to MUSIC CD's ... not NOISE CD's.

Reading the Amazon reviews, "Elevator" does sound like a disc worth checking out. Thanks...

There is an album that came out this year in the "punk-pop/emo" category (if that is what Hot Hot Heat is) that I liked a lot called: "The Possibility and the Promise" by Amber Pacific.

Oh I see ... trust Amazon and not me. *harumph*

I'll have to check that band out - never heard of them.

I give you some of the credit, because I would not have read those reviews without your post. However, I don't give reviews in Amazon much weight since most posts seem to have an ax to grind but in this case it is one more piece of information.

I've heard a song or two from their earlier album "Fading Days" (think it's an EP) it might be even better...

I think we share musical tastes. I'd definitely put Hot Hot Heat, White Stripes, Arcade Fire, and Fiona Apple on my list of best albums this year.

I'd add:
Feist - Let it Die
Death From Above 1979 - You're a Woman, I'm a Machine

DFA was going to be on the list, but the damn label rep never gave me a cover image, so we couldn't use it.

It'll be mentioned in my next article ... if they still keep me on by then.

Feist ... there's another one I'll have to discover.

I think you'd like her....seeing as we generally seem to like the same music :D


I think I forgot to mention it, but I did read your first article from the last issue of UMM...I thought it was great, and I totally agreed with how you rated the albums. I remember you wrote something about a "420 celebration"...it made me laugh ^_^

Soooo - the new issue is apparently on store shelves now. So if you're in Canada ... the real one, not the NS one, go to your local store that has a decent magazine selection and pick it up.

This directive, of course, does not apply for me, 'cause I don't even have enough money to puchase the damn thing for myself.

DFA... Deterministic Finite State Automata?

Rule.

I have no idea what that is all about, so is it possible to get an explanation that won't make my brain go all :blink: :wacko: :blink: ? :P

Wouldn't that be DFSA?

Hey check it out these guys at Jam Canoe had the same top pick for the year that I did. :P

Thank you - you have now narrowed my job search a bit.

*Note to self - never work for Canoe, unless you don't mind working for people with a lack of musical taste*


Interestingly, if you hadn't caught it elsewhere, I no longer write for UMM. Bastages .... actually ... I won't get into the rant.