Mission: Members of the Granite And Rolling Pins Association (GARPA) shall obtain and effectively use granite, rolling pins, and wit, in order to chastise members and attitudes of the He Man Women-Haters Club.

Anyone who is not a member of the He Man Women-Haters Club or has the attitude of this club (especially being a women-hater) can join. We invite all rolling-pin-wielding females to join.

No He Man Women-Haters allowed in GARPA headquarters. However, GARPA members can speak to anyone they wish to, as long as they do not condone He Man Women-Hater behaviours.

All GARPA members have equal say in the proceedings of the association. Senior GARPA members are those who are loudmouths (50+ posts a month), have snuck into the He Man Women-Hater's clubhouse, or have used granite and rolling pins against He-Man-Women-Hater-type people three or more times. This is just a designation, it does not affect members' standings within the association.

First order of business. Current holdings: A rather large box of granite rolling pins (originally from the Lemonade game incident) and a large granite block (from the trenches incident) is there in the kitchen being used as a countertop.

Current senior members: Nakisia, Ess, and BCC.
Current regular members: none.

Count me in as well :)

Current senior members: Nakisia, Beaver Country Canada, Ess, and Checkers McDog.

All members are allowed to add the line "Proud rolling-pin-wielding GARPA member" (can replace "rolling-pin" with "wit" or "granite") to their signatures. They are allowed to format this however they wish. Yes! Formatting experimentation spree!!!

Also, members each get a free rolling pin!

Mascot and Honourary Member: Bweezy.

Done.

I'm a wit-wielder! :P

More recommended tactics from experienced anti-Women-Haters.

Ah the lemonade game war....memories ^_^ :rolleyes:

I love what you've done with the place, Nakisia!

:D

:P :lol:

Hehehe! Good job, Nakisia! I'm in! :D

Hello all my granite-rolling-pin-and-wit-wielding friends!

Lelana

Now we form an assualt strategy! :P

Donuts in the fridge. Flour, baking and eating chocolate somewhere in the kitchen. Also sugar. Why don't I just say we have a fully functional kitchen? As you can see, we sort of have an open-concept layout, to help ensure there are no spies. Everyone is welcome to improve the association headquarters! (We have air-conditioning! :P)

In the sitting room there are many bean bags, ottomans, small tables, and ceiling lamp. A portrait of Bweezy hangs on the wall. There is also a television, connected to the regular channels and a few CCTs.
Whoops, did I give too much away? :lol:

To give the headquarters a touch of class (and also tackiness, in a way :D ):

Oooh...ahh... :lol:

*streaks naked through the clubhouse, swings on the chandelier, and rubs his naked butt all over the eating chocolate, then runs away real fast!*

"Eat my shorts, Shelbyville!"
"Yes, eat all of our shirts!"

Can I join??? Please?

But of course, daas!

Might I suggest you add this to your sig: Proud wit-wielding GARPA member

:D

Eve's conversation with God --



"Lord, I have a problem."


"What's the problem, Eve?"


"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."


"And why is that Eve?"


"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."


"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."


"Man? What is that Lord?"


"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger,faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."


"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?"


"Well.....you can have him on one condition."


"And what's that Lord?


"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring..... so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret....

...you know, woman to woman."



:P :D

BENEFITS OF BEING FEMALE!

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

Our boy friend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Free drinks.

Free dinners.

Free moving (you get the point).

We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.

If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could rival the Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we cheat on our spouses, people assume it's because we're being emotionally neglected.

WE never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.

If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.

We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

We're NOT men.

:D :P

Is this truning into a man hating club?
My friend believes that there's a father and mother god and that only the male god appeared to people to protect his wife from basically slander. It would explain why man get blamed for everything...........
Guys aren't that dumb!
*bumps head on way out*

I had a thing for Rob Heywood from 1080 Snowboarding.... :wub: :D

Yeah, that's pretty sweet :D

We do? :o :P :D

YAY!

*does a happy dance*

Welcome to the club daas....you'll fit in well with your views on men ;) :P

woo-hoo!

daas is in da club!

B) :D

*coughlyingcheatingevilamoebasonfleasonratsscumcough*

What views? ;) :P

*does another happy dance*

I'm in 'da club'! WOOHOO!

I just realized that no one acknowledged this :D

We've gotten so used to his antics that we completely ignored it :P


No one eat the chocolate!!

ROFL! I didn't even see it! I must have totally bypassed it, because we're all so used to it! ROFLMFAO! That's hysterical!

*dies from laughter*

Lelana

Is there room for one more??? I'm sure I have a rolling pin somewhere....



Ahhh!!! there's my collection!!!




PLEASE?????

Of course there is!!!

Welcome to GARPA Bern! :)

Better add it to your sig! :D

Yes Ma'am...sir... MA'AM!!!!

very nice collection ya got there, Bern! B)

Welcome to da club!! :D

Thank you kindly... I think I remember hearing somewhere that wood (in general) causes fewer bruises but just as much pain... we still want our "he men" to look pretty =-)

You got a good head on those shoulders, Berndalia! Welcome to the club! :D

Lelana

Wow! I've been away 24 hours and the club has grown by 50%!!! Sweet new rolling pins. Here's our secret storage place.

Witty, rolling-pin-efficient and granite-likers: BCC, Berndalia, Checkers, Daas, Ess, Nakisia.

And females...you don't have to beg to join. Those women-haters will have to though! :P

... why would the woman haters want to join a club dedicated to beating them to show them their rightful place in society???

No kidding. That seems incredibly absurd to me! /sigh. Boys are dumb! :P

Lelana

What do you mean, it was YOU guys who suggested it. *sigh* Girls....

Theres a reason why god lined up all the beasts of the earth and had us name one of them WOMAN. :lol:

He wasn't dumb. He had an IQ of around 164-168.

To test your own go here:

http://www.highiqsociety.org/noflash/nonmembers/iqtests.htm

MORE EYE CANDY!!

Will we have to import??? :P

WOMEN

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart,
knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to
use their softer side to make a point.

Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and
themselves.

Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the
loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think
there is no strength left.

A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live
in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or
e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women
do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They
give compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends. And all
they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same
to people you come in contact with.

MEN

Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and killing spiders.

:lol:

What I learned in CAPP this week:
90% of careless diving injuries happen to males between the ages of 15 to 19.

Don't forget getting rid of mice.