Posted by: "thesermonfodderguy" thesfguy@mchsi.com thesermonfodderguy
Mon Dec 4, 2006 6:20 pm (PST)
Rules for Buying Gifts for Men

Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not
matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has
yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless
drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything
with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two
words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are
you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his
car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something
to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No
one knows why.

Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy
men bathrobes. If men really wanted to wear bathrobes, they wouldn't
have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones
they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-
screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild
as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-
shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #7: Buy men label makers. They are almost as good as cordless
drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely
everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You
get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #8: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required"
on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have
parts left over.

Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works,
Lowes, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab
Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also
excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it
is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a
starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."

Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook-but they will
barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank.
Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who
wants a hamburger?"

Rule #11: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he
will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century
Quilts." Everyone knows why.

Rule #12: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a
chainsaw. If you don't know why-please refer to Rule #8 and what
happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #13: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an
extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy
origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a
hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

These are great, i think i'm now ready to shop for a gift for my Dad LOL

For the men here; what do you really like receiving as gifts? or does that about cover it

Hi, Ariella. I have never been a "tool man", so not much in this list really appeals to me Except the new remote. LOL. I enjoy receiving cologne or aftershave and clothes as presents. This year we decided to get one big gift for the family and bought a new 20 inch flat-screen TV and a surround-sound system. I'm already enjoying it. :) We are going to surprise the boys on Christmas morning with mp3 players - A Zen and an Ipod. Geordan's been wanting either for a long time, so we are glad we are able to do that for them this year. We got a good deal on them the day after Thanksgiving.

Nice gifts. DH usually don't exchange because we are both so want--less. :)

Well Dave, aren't you going to invite your long lost sister Faithy and her entire family over to watch some T.V. for the Holidays? How's about watching Its a Wonderful Life and me, Princess and Faydra can go in the kitchen and whip you guys up some munchies (low fat of course) :rolleyes:

Oh hope you don't mind, I sent out personal invitations to all of Grace Today members so we can fellowship and enjoy that surround sound system all in one cozy lil room. Woo Hoo! Ariella, your airline ticket is in the mail.

Oh do you think the boys would let me listen to Burl Ives Christmas on their new presents? Aren't you afraid you let the cat out of the bag if they see this by some chance? I have to hide everything, part of the reason I shop late in the season. Foxy is soooo snoopy. :) And Jr. unwraps everything. Most embarassing incidence recently in department store. Jr. totally tore and unwrapped a huge shipping box that was being used as a decoration cause he thinks all gifts are made to be unwrapped no matter whose they are. Hide your gifts everyone.