Manna Issue 17

1 Corinthians 3:2 "I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready."

Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

I see discouragement on the message boards all the time from beginners. They post and plead for prayer, for support, for motivation and tips. They usually post for the first time after being on a diet for 2-3 weeks and either actually gaining weight or not losing anything. My heart goes out to them because discouragement that early on in a diet is not a good beginning. Here is a typical posting: "I have been here for 2 weeks now, but gained 1.5 last week. Yuk! I can't seem to get re-motivated. Need lot's of love, prayer and encouragement. Help please!" Or this: "Hello out there!!!! Have joined a few weeks ago and just look at the food plan and don't seem to be motivated to eat what's on the plan. I think I should have waited another 2 weeks to join. I have a problem with exercising. Belong to a health club but don't make any effort to go. I feel like I am so far behind and have no stamina, I get discouraged before I start. So any excuse that comes up, I find myself not going. Can you motivate me?"

I am convinced that the love, motivation, and encouragement comes primarily from God, and the prayers have got to come spontaneously from us. Having others support us is all frosting on the cake. I was blessed the first week by losing six pounds and that encouraged me more than any words that another could speak. Other typical weight loss is 1-3 pounds. I met someone who lost 14 pounds the first week. We know that the first week can consist of water loss, but it sure gets you revved up into a "I believe I can do it mood." But today we are going to take a look at why some dieters never get off the ground and why other dieters seem to adjust so readily, and that is where our Scriptures are headed at today with the help of an article so fantastic I had to build the food sermon around it this week. Might you still be digesting milk when you could be chewing on meat?

SIX STAGES OF LOSING WEIGHT The following six stage plan is adapted from a theory by James O. Proscaska, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Univ. of Rhode Island and co-author of 'Changing for Good' (Avon 1995). ============================Stage 1: “I can't lose weight so why try?” In this initial stage, you don't accept that you can or need to change. You might be in denial because you've been so demoralized by previous failures. Or maybe you're just hoping no one will notice, since you've got zero motivation to do anything about it. You know you're in Stage 1 when you make up excuses like, "I have a slow metabolism." or "I've tried exercising and it just doesn't work for me." But you are probably also aware of warning signals: buying larger clothes, doctor saying your cholesterol is too high, your blood pressure is too high, you're not comfortable in your own skin. To take the next step: Don't turn a deaf ear to those warning signals. Write down a pro/con list about why you want to change your diet, review it regularly.

============================ Stage 2: "I'm tired of being and feeling fat." Big Clothes, dreading an upcoming vacation, being out of breath when you climb stairs...and you finally want to do something about it. The fact that you need to drop pounds is finally starting to sink in. Before you can take the next step successfully, you must set firm markers that force you to take action. Look into weight-loss programs, consult a dietician and give yourself a deadline for making appointments. Buy and use a good low-fat cookbook. Set a day for beginning your program, be prepared with the essentials and stick to that day. ============================= (Relapse Rx) If you hear the call of Stage 1 ("I guess being heavy just runs in my family"), get some support. Team up with an exercise buddy, or go grocery shopping with a friend who also wants to eat healthier, and start practicing positive imagery---- visualize how good you'll feel and look once you've taken off a few pounds.

============================= Stage 3: "I'm ready for action." You're ready to detoxify your diet and can prove it. Perhaps you've already joined that weight-loss group. You're more focused on your goals and they are beginning to take priority in your life. For instance, you're willing to adjust your schedule to accommodate time for exercise. You've begun an aerobics class or walking or bike riding. You've begun to modify the way you eat and cook. To move to the next step: Reality tests all the changes you plan to make to get an idea of whether they'll stick. Let's say you've decided to give up those fatty take-out dinners but don't have time to cook--what are you going to eat? Make sure you stock your kitchen with low-fat frozen meals, bagged salads and frozen veggies each week so you have easy, healthy options. If you're not a morning person, don't vow to hit the gym in the a.m., you're likely to hit the snooze button instead and scrap the exercise altogether. ============================== (Relapse Rx): Still having problems? Develop a structure and routine. Jot down your exercise routine in your calendar at the beginning of each week so you'll be more likely to stick to a regular program. And keep a food diary so you can track your progress and pinpoint problems.

============================== Stage 4: "I'm on a roll!" In stage 4 you feel really good. You're eating and enjoying lower fat meals, controlling your portions and consuming more fruits and vegetables. You're also working out for 30 minutes three times a week. You feel a huge sense of relief because you've found a real solution to a problem that's been zapping your confidence. CAVEAT: One reason dieters fail is that they dive in at Stage 4 without first getting mentally prepared for change. If that sounds like you, turn back. Do your homework first and you'll increase your chances of success.

============================== Stage 5: Fortify your motivation. Take part in activities that were formerly only on your wish list. Buy yourself a new outfit. Look in the mirror every day and repeat, "I feel good! I look good!" ============================== (Relapse Rx): Keep a photo of the 'old you' tacked on the fridge as a reminder of how far you've come. If you gain a few pounds, evaluate what in your life might be causing you to solve your problems with food. Be a stress manager, not a stress victim. And if you do slip, don't let guilt---the biggest motivation killer of all---set in. Instead, forgive yourself and start fresh with the next meal.

============================== Stage 6: "I'm a healthy eater for life." You know when you're in this utopian stage when your former less than healthy habits feel as foreign to you as your new habits once did. Eating right, staying active, and handling stress has become second nature. ============================== Sound too good to be true? It might be. For many of us Stage 5 is as far as we get---and that's okay. If you've reached your goal but still struggle with occasional setbacks, give yourself credit for all you've accomplished, you can maintain your new, healthier body by making sure your motivation doesn't lag. ============================== (Relapse Rx): Revel in the new you and make sure to continue rewarding yourself.

Any of this sound familiar? What stage are you? Do you have what we will call stage fright and just can't move on to the next stage? The majority of people that I meet fall into that first and second stage. I was in it myself for years before I was able to move on and do something. The key to these stages are blame and excuses. I have tried to move many people beyond this stage and I am afraid that even with my own success story and experiences to spur them on they remain stuck. I call to their attention that there truly has to be a straw that breaks the camel's back for them personally. I remember my straw was when I had a photo taken for our church directory and all I could see was this full, fat face with two doubles chins, mind you! Why hadn't I seen that in the mirror each day? Why hadn't I realized that this is what other people saw in me? It took a camera to break the camel's back for me.

Let's take a look at others' breaking points that made them move on to stage three and beyond. Perhaps you will see yourself in one of these and be motivated to move on yourself. What's it going to take? Perhaps just knowing that someone else is encouraging you to make a decision today as they did at one time also. Make that decision first and you will be able to move onto stage two and three, and from there on seek all the support and encouragement that you possibly can from others as you go through the subsequent stages. Almost overwhelmingly people said that is was when they saw a picture of themselves that made them decide to lose weight. One person said they knew a camera put on ten pounds in a picture (that is a television camera actually), but my mother always jokingly said to me, "Look what the camera has to work with." Have you seen a recent picture of yourself? Are you pleased, or shocked? Were you tempted to tear it up? If you were then this is the time to do something about your weight. This goes also if you have caught yourself in a window reflection and looked so heavy you were surprised. You may have thought that reflection distorted your image, but the truth is, if you were taken aback it is time to move forward with action. If you don't have a camera handy, pick up one of those inexpensive disposable ones and have someone shoot the roll of you. Not only will you be convinced to change your appearance, you will proudly someday be able to display a before and after picture! It is an investment that you will be glad you made, and if you are ever tempted to raid the refrigerator or revert, having one of these photos on the fridge might just continue to do the psychological trick for you.

The next most common I see is people hitting a certain age group and finding that they are extremely uncomfortable with how they look. Biggest was the thirties, a first time milestone for many. When they compared themselves with others at this age they realized that they had many good years left in them that they didn't want to be wasted on being obese and unhappy. Another age group is the college age student who discovers that they not only have to compete for academia while away at school, but also acceptance from their peers as they live apart from family and friends that have always been familiar and accepting to them. And then there is that cafeteria and parties to contend with rather than cooking something sensible. Many at this age come with determination and find that their busy lifestyle needs much more hours in the day to devote to a healthy lifestyle. Next is the forties and the fifties. Two major milestones for anyone to deal with, let alone dealing with the natural decline of bodily attraction to other age groups. Being overweight and realizing that the body is beginning to slow down takes its toll. Many reach out just before one of these milestone birthdays and are determined to take the bull by the horns and not let gravity and the aging process get the best of them. Then there are those that received the very last insult that they can stomach. Perhaps it came innocently from the mouth of a child, or perhaps it came intentionally from a spouse, a stranger, or a parent. But it did come. It did infuriate us, and it did cause us to seek to lose the weight so that we would not be subjected to insults anymore. It did cause us to want to raise to the occasion to prove that we were above that insult and would never allow ourselves to be put in that position again. Whatever works, the cruelty of unkind remarks might have raised us up to a point that we did want to improve if only to prove a point! And at the very bottom of the list I find those that for health reasons have sought out medical advice and was told to lose weight by a doctor. Diabetes, stress, backaches, high cholesterol, blood pressure and other symptoms that can be relieved or improved by better diet. One lady that had been with me on and off for well over a year, suffered a mild heart attack. Her doctor has charted her as morbidly obese which she hates, but up until now has not been able to lose any significant weight. Will she now? She is only in her forties. Is this what it really takes to move on to another stage? Others when confronted with health issues may not be fully persuaded, but when convinced that this is the only route that will alleviate them, they attempt it.

Know what? It really, absolutely will enhance our well being if we drop some weight. Results begin to be seen after as little as 10 pounds and a healthier diet to get there. The magic begins to happen, and oftentimes this group stands amazed that what they were blaming on the inevitable in life can be prevented. Is it can't, or don't want to when it comes to moving on into a different dieting stage in your life? Please take time to not only write down the stage you are in, but a plan of action by God's guidance how you can move on to the next step to become healthy and confident once again as God desires for you. Stage 4, 5 and 6 are pretty self explanatory and appear to be like the dominos effect. If you can make it to stage four you will find the inner motivation to make it all the way to goal. You can do it! God will help you! But absolutely no one else can coax you out of one stage to the next. It must come from within, and perhaps there is a season for it as our Scripture suggests. You haven't begun to bloom yet, but you will. Is anything to difficult for God? Can't He still lead you upon the path that He so desires for you? Can't you reach out your hand right now and almost feel Him urging to grab hold and get ready for the move?

Dear ones, take a few minutes today to read over the stages, determine where you are really at, and make plans on how you will move on to the next phase that we have discussed today. Write it down, read it often, and make very sure that you commit it to God in prayer with good intentions. You needn't be stuck in second gear when it is time to shift gears and move on. Perhaps this day, this week, this month you are ready for it. Prayer: Lord God, I am motivated to move on to the next stage whatsoever that might be. Help me please. Give me a nudge. Let me be encouraged that as I commit it to You, that You will bring it to pass. I want to do what is right, and I want to be cheered on by You. May I make You proud that instead of sitting down and pouting, I hold my head up high and march on bravely. Thank You, Lord God for hearing my desires. Amen ©2001-2007 www.gracetoday.com

Personally, I think I have one foot stuck in Stage 2 and the other in Stage 3. It's time to get my foot out of Stage 2, put down the "twinkie" (for illustration purposes) and step on over to Stage 3. I would compare my "status" to my Karate in that I know my Kata and now I need to fine-tune it.

None of this HAS been possible without the Lord. The question that is left unanswered in the back of my mind and without offending anyone by asking is this....

I would like to lose just under 30 lbs in order to feel "healthy" again. What happens to a person that they find themselves 100+ to lose? I suppose I will answer my own question (IKES!) just the same way my need to lose 5 became 30. I didn't want that 30 to become 100 and I had no choice BUT to change my ways.

Up until 9 years ago I never crossed over a need to lose 5-10 pounds. Then it escalated to 85 pounds. It happens with apathy. I hope all will look up that word and if it doesn't apply in any area of your life, say but by the grace of God go I.

Looking forward to your firm footing on stage 3, Coach. How exciting is that?

It is exciting and I know it will get better. I think both apathy and complacency would both be good to look up. It's dangerous to become complacent too.

You always speak in multiples.:lol: Yes, that word too. I only assigned one. Keep us posted on your journey to move on. I know we will be the first to hear about it after you have told Jesyus. :)

It's my "amplified" version I suppose. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I was meant to write after all. Just haven't gotten the courage or the confidence I suppose.

One of the frustrations with this "all or nothing" "have to perfect" expectations I have of myself is that if I can't get it right the first time, I won't ever get it right. The Lord has been working with me in this area and I'm beginning to realize (with the help of my friends and Friend) that I won't get it perfect. The joy IS in the journey and the excitement is seeing the transformation unfold. (I have been journalling for 5 days now and even when I overeat.)

*Disclaimer:
I am my dd's friend but I am her parent. Jesus is my Friend but He is first my Lord. (The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom)

Coach, I am---- My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.

In persuasion that today is the right moment, I offer this recent word from Jesus:

To The Perfectionlist

You desire perfection in yourself and others. You are driven by that and you have yet to but hint that this is the leading cause of the many frustrations, discouragements and inability to progress in the Kingdom of God.

I can not help you when you believe it is my responsibility to answer your prayers as perfectly as you desire, rather than My will. Do you not yet know than other than Me there is no one that has walked this earth in perfection? You can't. Others can't. Your standard is not reality, and the all or nothing mentality must cease.

When I spoke these very words, Mat 5:48 "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect," I was teaching you, in kindness, that you might understand that perfection in My Kingdom is wrought by grace through Me. How can the imperfect be perfect? You were marred through original sin and you then progressed in a choice, many choices even now. You cannot be perfect unless you are perfect for My Father to use. I spoke of your works in My Name. I spoke on the Mount of Olives the conditions of the blessings you seek. I did not say, "Be perfect and you will receive visions of grandeur and satisfaction in your life." I spoke of your availability to Me which is evident right now that you are not perfect.

You do not let me use you in My Kingdom as I would. Would you not swell with pride and be unreachable if every single thing you attempted to accomplish were perfect? How could you then call upon Me in your weakness' so that I might strengthen you? I said not until earth passes away would my Word pass away. Why do you choose one passage subject erroneously and base your entire life on it? You cannot be perfect unless you surrender your life to Me and therefore be perfect to use for My glory. Re-think your life patterns and if you have elevated yourself above Me, repent, for that is idolatry.
Study yourself to conform to My example on earth and you shall see that love, mercy and compassion, not perfection, drew people to Me. You are driving people away with your stance and ways, and you are in danger of never achieving in Me true satisfaction in your life. When you know I use you mightily, then you are perfected, not your works and achievement, but your availability to Me

Listen carefully as I alone will teach you a more perfect way. Lean on your Savior and learn of Me for I am meek and gentle. That is the perfect you I would like to see and develop. Draw close to Me and I will draw close to you and instruct in you a better way, My child. Don't hold Me at arm's length by the standard you have created. I have no part in that. Follow Me now.

Thank you! This was the precise and right moment and I appreciate it. Of course, I will be reading it more than once because you can't take a bite of steak and swallow it whole. It must be chewed and chewed.

One manna meal and one goumet meal to go on Grace Today and hold the pickle please. :laugh:

:laugh: 'til next week then!

Dear Candy,
These manna posts have been so helpful. But I would ask you personally if this is the way you are losing weight, the way it speaks of in this particular post. I hope you can understand what I mean. You have said before that you eat all foods and don't exercise. We need to know what works for you personally. That's why I asked you yesterday what you eat each day. I am really nervous about writing this because I don't want to offend you.......you and this site have always been so helpful. But I think you went a few years here before you started losing and we just need to know the basics of what works for you not what the media say should work. I, personally, have been struggling for years sometimes walking as much as 6 mi. a day and even fasting. I have said before that I think dieting is part of the problem because with each diet there is an equal and oppostie period of overeating to catch up. I'm like you in a way in that before I had kids I never thought about what I ate and since that is a lot of what I think about. This is not good in my opinion. God would not want us so consumed with eating. Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat etc. Love in Christ, Carol

I guess I don't understand what you mean, Carol

I am writing about my losses and what I feel is beneficial for others to know about weight loss. I answered your post yesterday on what my meal day looks like. I have explained on numerous posts to you I eat when hungry and stop when satisfied. I eat no seconds and no snacks. I have no plan I have stated clearly. I write these not to motivate myself but to motivate others.

I can't tell anyone what to eat or give them a plan. That would be commercial just like all the diets are. You have to work with God on this. If you are looking to see what it is that I eat and why I have chosen for now not to exercise (I have explained that also) then you have failed to see that I give God all the glory and do not stoop to robbing Him of praise, showing me this way daily for 6 months now. It is a day by day journey, for sure. I thought I have done well answering your questions and I don't really know what this post is asking.

O.K., I just read the email notification and I believe I see where you are coming from.

I had introduced to all here my what I named Inspirational Eating to all on this board. I have been congratulated for the steady losses, but not one single person has adopted this plan, which I did not expect. This is what I genuinely believe God led me to do. I maintain we each must what works for us. This is our 17th week of Manna and I have to introduce other material here because obviously God will strike a chord with one at any moment and however He chooses. I think this was a fine article I included to talk about the stages, and personally I agree that we all go through these stages or steps. Was that your question answered? Also I am on two medications that I was told would include the side effect of weight gain, but obviously when I dropped that crutch I could lose weight. What I sincerely believe you should do is to start your journal on the Diet Roundtable (wher you asked your question) and be accountable by letting others crtique if you are a) eating healthy and 2) eating moderate portions. How does that sound? If you knew how very busy I am with over 20 sites and writng and posting each day, you will understand why it is one reason I do not keep a journal here.

Thanks Candy. I know you are busy but I guess I still can't understand why all of a sudden you began losing weight when you had moderated this site for several years. Obviously you know I follow that type of plan, too and so does Ann as she said under help topics. I just recently had to up my prednisone and I'm trying to let that not come in the way of losing but it seems all my life it did. I begged the dr for something else but there is nothing. So I have to learn to live around it. God is so faithful in the midst of it all as we recently got an eliptical and I really feel a lot better since I started using it faithfully but still am staying the same weight or maybe a lb or 2 less. I would like to join the challenge but get so discouraged when I don't lose. The same with putting down my food. I've done that for years and that one of the things about intuitive eating is that only you can tell what you need. Well, I'm just glad it is working for you. Praise the Lord!

Oh, well I had mentioned what preceded my decision and we'll call that willingness to move from one stage to the next. It was a clear and unmistakable Scripture to me while thumbing through the Bible. That's is why I insist it has to be a God thing. This might also help you to on an issue you mentioned about dieitng. Dave posted this on June 18.

The Light comes on when we confront the lie that is holding us back from our victory which God already holds in store for us.

Thanks for that, Candy, and all the other great help you give.

I want to see you a success, but God more. This is what leaped out at me, and especially what you mentioned of moderating here for a few years with no weight loss. We do know God holds us accountable and I was believing there was not coming a day soon when He would address the issue of my gluttony and beating His servants "spirutally" by not leading them to freedom. I was not even a faithful and wise steward of my own body.

Luk 12:42 And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season?
Luk 12:43 Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.
Luk 12:44 Of a truth I say unto you, that he will make him ruler over all that he hath.
Luk 12:45 But and if that servant say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming; and shall begin to beat the menservants and maidens, and to eat and drink, and to be drunken;
Luk 12:46 The lord of that servant will come in a day when he looketh not for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and will cut him in sunder, and will appoint him his portion with the unbelievers.
Luk 12:47 And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes.
Luk 12:48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.

Since I was quoted here, I felt led to join in a bit on this discussion, which is excellent. I know that I am very thankful that I finally came to that realization I mentioned in my quote. I woke up and am now listening to the Voice of Truth.

We do have to find a plan that works for us and that we can live with for an extended time. God will show us that plan when we look to Him for direction, and we will see success when we follow that plan.

Dave, I think that compliments my strong opinion as to why Grace Today has never given a plan or endorsed one.

I agree with your total discussion here today, and although I may not favor a person's choice of plan, I support that moment that can come only from God! I think for clarity I will say that I felt Carol looking for a plan to bring success in her many travels to Boards and with people, rather than personally hearing the Voice of Truth such as you call Him.

I see that come about in people when they exchange the Truth for that lie. Then even the jelly bean diet could work. Ha!

P.S., and I forgot to say Ann is not following Intuitive Eating or Inspirational Eating as you thought, Carol.

Here is what Anne said in an earlier post.

Carol, I also allow all foods on my diet. Just try to eat them sensibly. For instance when I have pizza, I have a slice or two. Not a whole pizza!!! By allowing foods I love, I don't feel so deprived and I am more likely to succeed.

To me, that is intuitive eating or inspired eating as you call it, CE.

Carol, then I am wrong. I did read that but didn't realize that was what you saw. I have been following Ann since last year and I do know she could not join, despite her wishes, the EEE challenge because she was used to a snack each evening. That is not IE, in my plan or in the book you read, and I really keep up with the plans of our members. Gee, semantics? :lol: :bless: