Well all of my other work was deleted of my comp. but this is one i wrote a long time ago. its from my old suicidal days so its pretty depressing. i found it in my "box of sadness" as i call it. it all my old things from when i was depressed.

Why Do You Insist On Giving Me Pain?

Why do you hurt me?
Why do you scorn me?
Why do you insist on giving me pain?

I build up walls of lonliness and sorrow,
I say that I'll open up tomorrow.
Why do you insist on giving me pain?

Whenever i open myself to you,
Causing pain is what u do.
Why do you insist on giving me pain?

Forever i like in solitude,
Fearing you and your attitude.
Why do you insist on giving me pain?

Just one uestion i ask, one thing to know,
Why do you like to hurt me so?
Why do you insist on giving me pain?


well...?

The poem as a whole is pretty good. And I like how you repeated the same lines again and again to make your point. But just a thing to consider, perhaps you should change the form of that final question. Once you get past the third time of saying it, it isn't as great as if you just said it once. So, instead of

"Why must you insist on giving me pain?" put something close. I'm not exactly sure the clear thing you are trying to portray, so I don't want to give you an example that would'nt work in your poem. But, I hope you know what I mean.

But seriously though, good poem, good poem.

thanx i'm glad u liked it. as i said it was just soemthing i wrote a long time ago before i learned to write well. (not that i'm a good writer) i didnt want to edit it b/c i like it the way it is b/c i shows me at that time. but i'll keep what u said in mind. i have a new poem that u might like more. look for it and respond plz. ^_^