Title: Inuyasha to Kagome
Description: after a big fight...
~DarkWolf~ - August 16, 2003 06:35 AM (GMT)
to celebrate my 1000 post i give you one of my favorite pieces....
Through out the years I was alone,
And kept a lot of things to myself,
But that was before I knew you,
At first I know you thought I was a rude, selfish, mean, perverted person.
But ever since I met you,
You unfroze my heart from the cold,
You showed me the light when I was in the dark,
You changed me in a way that everyone thought was impossible,
You taught me kindness,
How to care,
And you brought friends into my life
So without you I will losse all those things so precious to me.
I may be an Idiot a lot, but luckly you only have to tell me to “sit” and I’ll behave, and I know I don’t have much to offer but will you forgive me?
L33T_N1NJ4 - August 16, 2003 07:30 AM (GMT)
An interesting peice. As you know, I'm not a fan of the show but I'm looking at the piece, not the source. I see a few spelling errors that you might wan't to correct. I hope you don't mind a bit of constructive critisism.
| QUOTE |
Through out the years I was alone,
And kept a lot of things to myself,
But that was before I knew you, |
Good start
| QUOTE |
| At first I know you thought I was a rude, selfish, mean, perverted person. |
A bit wordy here.
| QUOTE |
But ever since I met you,
You unfroze my heart from the cold,
You showed me the light when I was in the dark,
You changed me in a way that everyone thought was impossible,
You taught me kindness,
How to care,
And you brought friends into my life |
All this is very good.
| QUOTE |
| I may be an Idiot a lot, but luckly you only have to tell me to “sit” and I’ll behave |
I think that that if you removed "idiot alot" it might make it easier reading. Other than that, it's fine.
| QUOTE |
| but will you forgive me? |
Fine ending
Very good job. Look forward to more stuff.
crazdfeline - August 16, 2003 02:13 PM (GMT)
hm....not bad. summed it up pretty well.
Vash T.S. - August 16, 2003 04:02 PM (GMT)
i was reading my friends "Poems of the Emotional" and i think i could've read this...
anyways good poem.
Kupo!!
~DarkWolf~ - August 18, 2003 06:38 PM (GMT)
hehe...^-^ there is a story that went with it that i wrote, but i didn't want to add it in...
Ron no Anime - August 19, 2003 12:29 AM (GMT)
*speechless*
That's cool. Great work... XD
Angel Of The Dawn - August 19, 2003 03:35 AM (GMT)
Hey, I liked it! Good Job, Keep It Up Sweetie It Was Good! *hugs*
~DarkWolf~ - August 26, 2003 03:28 PM (GMT)
^-^ thankies....anybody want the story with it? its one of my favorite kinds of Inuyasha... " what the people of Inuyasha would never say to each other (or would no do at all)"