I forgot the names, so if i do remeber them, Ill post them.

Lewis Black:
- I was walking out of a starbuck's in huston, when i saw right there in front of me, was another starbucks!!! now, you know you've reached the end of the universe, when you come out of one starbucks, and see another in front of you!!! -\

anonymous:
- I have an astigmatism [] where your ee just flutter back and forth for no reason[] so i go to my doctor, and he says its from doing too much stand up comedy. It's from all the lights flashing in my eyes. He told me he can fix it with a little laser surgery. Whats that i askedhim. He told me they're gonna stick a light in my eye.-

[] ack i cant remmeber much, and i know this first post is bad, but I'll have more soon, and Ill get better quotes. -_-;; []

AH! You also like Louis Black. I watch standup ALL of the TIME. Your quote diddn't do the bit justice, but, eh. *points to sig* comedians said those things.

I know! it's not enough to say, it, you gotta see him twitch his fingers and get mad and stuff at everyday things!!!!

Yeh isn't he great?

I ALSO like:

George Carlin
Gabriel Inglesias
Denis Leary
The Amazing Jonathan
Gilbert Gottfried
Bruce Bruce
Margaret Cho
Dave Attell
Jeff Foxworthy

And Many others.

I saw Margaret Cho in a theatre once, I had great seats. Soon, I will go and see a comedy tour with Dave Attell AND Lewis Black!!!

awww i so jealous!!!

I like

- Lewis black of course...
-jimmy sanchez
-denis leary
- michael j. fox ( when he was still okay )
- pablo fransisco
-Daniel Tosh
- and almost any tall, skinny white dude is funny for some reason

Daniel Tosh:
- I live in LA, and the girls there say " im not religious, im spiritual!" I'd like to say to them " well, Im not honest, but i think you're interesting"

Quotes from Steven Wright:

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Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
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Half the people you know are below average.
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99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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All those who believe in psycho kinetics, raise my hand.
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The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
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The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
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Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
-----------------------

lol

Theya are all funny. Keep em' coming.




StaTiC

lol those are funny, i used to watch this one thing on comedy central called The Last Comic Standing and it was about Stand-Up

Mitch Hedberg it really funny also.

Mitch Hedburg? Funny, but not as good as some of the others I mentioned.

People like:
Larry the Cable Guy
Kevin James (His Sweat the Small Stuff special was really funny)
Tony Woods
Katheleen Madigan
Ardel O'Hanleon (ROFLMAO he's one of my favorites)

And of course, the one comic I hate and cannot stand is Jim Breuer. Ick. Most of the other people on Comedy Central are OK.