The show starts with a replay of Roger Bossert's shock re-appearance last week, including a slow motion showing of Hussey stealing the ASWF title. The entire segment is played to 'Suffocate' by Cold.
*Pyros flare up at the show's beginning*
Prisoner of Society by Living End comes on, and Wizard 1o1 comes out.
Wizard: I'm sure all of you just saw that little bitch Hussey steal my title. Well, Wizard 1o1 doesn't stand for that shit. I want Jelly Adams again, tonight.
Bring Me To Life comes on, and Chris Walker-Bush strolls out onto the aisle.
Walker: Listen, Wizard, you know that you're already defending your cruiserweight title tonight in a four way. And Jelly's already booked to face Luke tonight. You'll just have to wait your turn like everyone else.
Wizard: No way Bush. I want Jelly and a title shot. If not tonight, then how about at ASWF Bloodbath?
Walker: You want a title shot at the Pay-Per-View? I'm sure I could arrange something. In the meantime....
Steve Simmons slides into the ring from behind, and hits Wizard 1o1 with a chair! He proceeds to beat Wizard around the ring, while Walker applauds from the top of the ramp.
Gay Pride vs. The Kebab Brothers vs. Michael Vella and Steve Simmons
The Kebab Brothers and Gay Pride get most of the in ring time, with Gay Pride constantly tagging the bigger team in to beat down their 'Maltese' enemies. Plenty of action here, including Gay Pride's flap-jack variation on Simmons.
When Trent looks set to get the pin, Mario Fenech hits the ring and throws a chair towards Tommy. However, Vella catches it and wipes him out. He then hits Trent and Aaron. When Maleky tries to stop him, Simmons catches him with a big powerbomb. Vella makes the cover, and the unlikely team score the titles!
COMMERCIAL
Marajuana from the back lot. Mum and me are smoking some pot, yeah, Marajuana from the back lot.... New Kellogs Marajuana Brand. Available only in Canberra
Backstage we find Gay Pride fuming in their locker room, Chris is also there.
Trent: I can't believe that bitch Vella has the title.
Aaron: But he does have nice thighs, don't you think Chris.
Chris: (Not paying attention) Sure, yeah, great thighs.
Trent: That doesn't change the fact we got screwed out of our titles, Aaron.
Aaron: Not nearly as good as being screwed in them, eh Chris?
Chris: (Still not listening) Yep. Love that screwing. Yep.
Natalie Gruzlewski enters.
Natalie: Chris?
Chris: Yeah, what's up Natalie?
Natalie: Look, I'm sure you saw what DJMaC did to me last week....
Chris: Yeah....
Natalie: Well, don't you think it was a little unfair?
Chris: Of course.
Natalie: Well, if you could 'punish' him for me. I'm sure I could 'reward' you suitably...
Chris: Oh, I'd love to help, but I promised this pair that I'd help with their rub down.
Natalie: (Stunned) Ok....
Trent: Oh, don't worry about us darling, go and help this beautiful lady.
Chris: Alright, I'll challenge DJMaC.
Natalie: It's ok, I already challenged him for you. He's already in the ring.
DJMaC vs. 'Charisma' Chris Maunder for the Pacific Title
DJMaC wastes no time in laying on some heavy offence, battering Maunder around the ring with ease. Maunder soon regains some control, and hits a hurricanrana for a near fall. DJMaC fetches his title, and Natalie is foolish enough to try and get the ref's attention. He clobbers Maunder, and the ref turns around in time to make a count. Somehow Maunder got an arm up! DJMaC hits a flowing DDT though, and gets a cheap win.
After the match Gay Pride storm the ring and hit their flapjack combo on DJMaC! Natalie then goes up top and hits a massive missile dropkick to score some revenge.
After the match, Roger Bossert and Josh Hussey come into the ring. Hussey has the World Title over his shoulder, and waves cockily at the crowd.
Roger: Last week I shocked the wrestling world when I formed B.A.T and had Josh Hussey here score the World Title from no less than Jelly Adams and Wizard 1o1.
(Hussey helps DJMaC to his feet)
Roger: DJ, would you like a chance to join the organisation that will tumble Walker-Bush's reign of terror?
DJMaC: You want me, the biggest name in the ASWF, to join your group? What can you offer?
Roger: Well.... we have excellent health care.
DJMaC: Done.
Bring Me To Life booms out, and Walker-Bush makes an appearance.
Walker: You just committed career suicide DJMaC. If Roger here is intent on playing the bad guy, I'm going to play the good guy. Since you cheated tonight, you'll be taking on Natalie Gruzlewski and Charisma Chris Maunder next week at Bloodbath in a triple threat match for your title.
DJMaC: You can't do that!
Walker: I just did (Begins to leave)
Roger: See, this is what I mean. The high ups in this business abuse their power for their own gain. When I take control of the ASWF it will be a diplomatic company. No more dictatorships.
Walker: You know what Roger? I don't want to hear this crap. You and me at Bloodbath. If I win, you shut the hell up. If you win, I'll let you book a show to prove your 'diplomatic' ability. Sound fair?
Roger: It's the fairest thing I've heard all night.
COMMERCIAL
Washed Up. Vanilla Ice's outstanding new album. Including a duet with MC Hammer, and another with New Kids on the Block
Brandell vs. Dragon Fanatic for TV Time
Dragon Fanatic starts with a lot of ferocity, but little else. Brandell wastes little time in beating him down and power-bombing him for the win in less than two minutes.
Backstage we find Marshal Boyd eating a kebab. MrCharisma walks in.
Charisma: Mate, I see you are getting in touch with your ethnic side. What is on that kebab?
Marshal: Lamb, beetroot, and a bit of mince.
Charisma: What did you just say?
Marshal: I said it had LAMB, BEETROOT, and a bit of MINCE.
Charisma: Mate, that ish sacrilige!
He rushes to attack Boyd, who wrestles him to the ground and forces the kebab into his mouth.
Marshal: Eat it! Eat it!
The Kebab Brothers rush in and drag Boyd off.
Charisma: Mate, you just made a big mishtake. You want to try me? You and me will wrestle, tonight, in a kebab on a pole match.
Marshal: Are you for real? Sounds like a plan. Let's go little man.
In the ring is Wizard 1o1 with his Cruiserweight title. Lance Rats is first out, accompanied by Kermitt Krocket QC. Next out is Natalie, followed by Andrew Young. Everyone waits for the final participant.
Weeeeellll, well it's the Big Schmo
Wizard: Wait a minute, he's not a cruiserweight.
Schmo: I think you'll find I am. (He produces an official looking document. Wizard takes it)
Wizard: But this is signed by Dr. Nick Riviera!
Schmo: We'll debate the details later.
Wizard 1o1 vs. Big Schmo vs. Andrew Young vs. Natalie Gruzlewski vs. Lance Rats for the Cruiserweight Title
Things start in the standard brawl fashion, with Rats and Young teaming on Schmo. He doesn't seem daunted, and pins Young after a big boot. Meanwhile Natalie Gruzlewski hits a top rope hurricanrana pin to eliminate Lance Rats. Kermit looks furious!
The match slows in pace, with Big Schmo doing his best to beat down Natalie. She continually eludes him, until he corners her and starts beating her down. Wizard 1o1 goes for a sneaky pin on Schmo, but the big guy kicks out. In the meantime, Natalie slides out of the ring and gets a chair! She goes to swing it at Schmo, but collects Wizard instead! Schmo kicks the chair hard, knocking Natalie down. He gets the pin, and it's down to one on one competition.
Wizard 1o1 regains his feet, but looks stunned by the blow. Natalie is still ringside, and she looks distraught. A few quick moves keep Schmo on the ground, and Wizard 1o1 goes upstairs for the frog splash. Schmo rolls aside, picks him up, and hits a Jackhammer! 1-2-3, it's over! We have a new cruiserweight champion.
COMMERCIAL
Tonight in the News. Willie :afro: Mason sent off (:yellow:) for :bang: a :pimp: in the crowd. More at 10pm
We return and Natalie Gruzlewski is backstage with a rather battered Chris Maunder. She is fawning over his 'injuries', putting down ice packs and cooing over him.
Chris: Look, it's your fault that I'm this banged up. Can you just leave me alone for a while?
Natalie: (Hurt) Oh, ok Chris. Whatever you say....
She leaves.
Aaron: That wasn't very polite, Chris.
Chris: Yeah...well.... I'm not in a polite mood.
Trent: Obviously. Aren't *we* miss snappy, someone's panties in a bunch?
Chris: I just got hit in the head with a title belt. I'm just pissed off.
Aaron: How about a nice massage to cheer you up?
Chris: Sounds good.
Outside, Natalie is stopped by Jelly Adams.
Jelly: Hey babe. I saw what that queer Chris said. Look, you don't gotta put up with that. Let Jelly take you on as manager.
Natalie: Er... no thanks.
Jelly: How about I take you on as personal assistant? (Pulls her close) Or, how about concubine? I bet a nympho like you would love that.
Natalie: You have a girlfriend...
Jelly: Hey, babe, she's freaky. I bet she'd be into it...
Natalie: No (Storms off)
Jelly: (Calls after her) Your loss!
Marshal Boyd vs. MrCharisma in a Kebab on a Pole Match
Match gets underway with Charisma continually running for the pole. Boyd continually stops him and does a beat down, only to have Charisma scramble away again. Match continues in this fashion, with Charisma eventually able to escape and snare the kebab (and the win) after Fenech trips up Boyd.
COMMERCIAL
ASWF Bloodbath. Coming soon!
Walker: Just to explain to everyone. Until I can get the title back from Hussey, there is no belt, but rest assured, this *is* a title match.
Sharpedo hits the ring.
Luke: Alecia, can you come out here?
Alecia, Jelly's girl, comes out.
Luke: I thought you might like to see this...
Footage of Jelly's backstage 'conversation' with Natalie rolls. Jelly rushes out and covers Alecia's eyes and ushers her backstage.
Jelly: That was a stupid move Puke.
Luke Sharpe vs. Jelly Adams for the World Title (NO DQ)
Jelly starts with plenty of intensity, but Luke is equal to the challenge. The first period is dominated by Jelly, who has Luke on the ropes. Luke soon bounces back, and hits a Sharpedo that shakes the ring. Jelly somehow gets a foot on the rope, and the match continues. Jelly returns to his dominant form, and gets a few near falls. Alecia appears at the top of the ramp, looking pissed off. The match halts.
She gets in the ring, and Jelly gets down on his knees to plead with her. The ref seems amused. Luke is laughing openly, and Jelly looks worried. Alecia looks pissed, but she turns and kicks Sharpedo in the groin! Jelly scrambles over and makes the pin for the win!
Afterwards...
Jelly: You really are dumber than you are stupid, Luke. My bitch'd never get jealous. She knows she's my number one ho.
They lick each others tongues in a disgusting display as the show goes off air.
Reporter: David Harris
Date: 29/9/03
Location: Convention Centre, Brisbane
Website: www.aswfans.com
Really looking forward to tonight's show. It's the first in QLD, so they'll be eager to impress. Show starts with a pretty cool video of Roger Bossert turning up and stealing the title.
Next up Wizard 1o1 is in the ring, and he demands a rematch after he was robbed last week. Walker-Bush comes out and says he can't have a shot, but maybe at the PPV. Sounds like a good match. Pretty dead interview, which ends when Steve Simmons attacks Wizard 1o1 with a chair. The whole Simmons/Walker-Bush relationship is weird. They're never together, but Simmons hits people for him. Wish they'd stop it.
Match One: Gay Pride vs. Kebab Brothers vs. Simmons/Vella
Good three way dance here, probably one of the best tag matches I've seen. Gay Pride and the Kebab Brothers do most of the work, but the big pair are impressive as well. When Mario got involved I thought there'd be a screwjob on Vella, but he got the chair and beat down everyone else for the win. Kebab Brothers don't seem that pissed off, so I'm confused as to where this is going.
After the break is a segment involving Gay Pride, Chris, and Natalie. Chris is still on the 'Is he gay?' angle, and Natalie asks him to challenge DJMaC. He says no, but Gay Pride convince him otherwise. Fucking funny segment though.
Match Two: 'Charisma' Chris Maunder vs. DJMaC for the Pacific Title
Great match, Maunder can really work the ring. Natalie's ring side, so I didn't pay heaps of attention. DJMaC hit Maunder with the title, but he kicked out, only to cop DJMaC's finisher to lose the match. Afterwards Gay Pride attack DJMaC, and Natalie does a missile drop-kick. Maunder is escorted out by Gay Pride, but looks angry at Nat. No idea why.
Once they all leave, Bossert and Hussey come into the ring. They invite DJMaC to join, and he does. How very NWO- they've got two titles already, albeit one is unofficial. Walker-Bush comes out and demands a match against Bossert to shut him up. Should be good.
Match Three: Brandell vs. Dragon Fanatic
Complete squash match, I don't know why they bothered. Brandell did it easy. Good way to get him over though, as everyone seems to hate this Dragon Faggot guy.
Weird segment involving MrCharisma and Marshal Boyd was next, and they booked a kebab on a pole match. No idea why.
Match Four: Big Schmo vs. Wizard 1o1 vs. Andrew Young vs. Natalie Gruzlewski vs. Lance Rats for the Cruiserweight Title
A pretty good clash here. It was good to see Big Schmo back in action, he's been gone for a month now. Young and Rats only made up numbers, and as expected, it came down to Schmo and Wizard for the win. Natalie seems to make a habit of almost costing people matches, coz she hit Wizard with it on accident. He doesn't lose it there, but seems to be hurt. Schmo eventually picks up the win. Quality match though.
After the break Natalie is trying to give Chris Maunder a back-rub, but he gets pissed off at her. Funny, he accepts one from Gay Pride....
Outside Jelly hits on Natalie, but she doesn't look interested. Can't blame her, he's an ugly man.
Match Five: MrCharisma vs. Marshal Boyd
Dud match, no idea what purpose it served. Boyd dominated, but MrCharisma won courtesy of some Fenech interference.
Next up Luke tries to show Jelly's girlfriend Alecia what he did backstage, but Jelly stops him. The match gets underway. Good to see some quality bitches on the show other than Natalie though.
Match Six: Luke Sharpe vs. Jelly Adams for the World Title
About time these two got to really wrestle. Jelly shows plenty of skill in this, but so does Sharpedo in patches. About ten minutes in Alecia appears on the ramp, and she looks pissed off. She comes into the ring, and Jelly pleads with her. Then she turns and kicks Sharpe in the groin! Jelly gets the win and keeps the title!
OVERALL
Not a bad show, although the Boyd vs. Charisma match and Brandell vs. Dragon Fanatic matches were both non-events. Sharpe and Jelly's clash and the cruiserweight clash made up for it though.
BIGGEST POPS
1. Wizard 1o1
2. Natalie Gruzlewski
3. 'Charisma' Chris Maunder
4. Brandell
5. Gay Pride
MOST HEAT
1. Roger Bossert
2. Chris Walker-Bush (Pre turn)
3. DJMaC
4. Jelly Adams
5. Dragon Fanatic