PREMIER LEAGUE
Thrashed One Week- Thrashing the Next
After capitulating to a 42-10 loss to North Sydney last week, the Manly Cannons have turned it around to dish out an identical scoreline to the visiting Darwin Cyclones. The Cannons were basically at training, Steve Menzies and the Manly backline having a field day.
Manly: Steve Menzies 2, Slick Cupples, Patrick Varune, Phillip Graham, Kit Walker, and Logan Swann. Rogers 7/8
Darwin: Amahl Singh and Moreton Weatherall. Singh 1/2
PoM Points: Steve Menzies 3, Mat Rogers 2, and Matt Sing 1.
Bible Bashing
A dominant performance from Christian prop, Jason Stevens, has lead the North Sydney Newbloods to an unlikely 21-12 win over the Central Phoenix. Stevens outmuscled more well known stars such as Gorden Tallis and Barrie McDermott in a sixty minute performance.
North Sydney: Michael DeVere 2 and Jonah Lomu. DeVere 4/4. Ikin 1 fg.
Central: Scott Donald and Tyler Durden. Schifcofske 2/2
PoM Points: Jason Stevens 3, Michael DeVere 2, and Jonah Lomu 1.
Grizzlies Roar on Back of Drew Treble
The Carnarvon Grizzlies are back to their fearsome best, today outlasting Perth at Subiaco in a thrilling 34-24 win. A triple to halfback, Brad Drew, and a scintillating performance by overlooked Queensland back, Jamie Venables, lead Carnarvon to just their fifth win of the year. Perth’s season seems in doubt now, with the side guaranteed to lose influential captain Darren Lockyer at least twice more this season.
Perth: Darren Lockyer, Deon Bird, Mark McLinden, and Robert Salvatori. Lockyer 4/4
Carnarvon: Brad Drew 3, Nathan Blacklock, Jamie Venables, and Danny Williams. Taylor 5/6
PoM Points: Jamie Venables 3, Danny Williams 2, and Matthew Diskin 1.
Lead Boot Sinks Vikings
It’s so rare that the better side loses without calls of dubious refereeing or foul play- but today the Parramatta Vikings were the better team, and yet lost 22-16. After trailing 22-4 at halftime, the Vikings scored three second half tries, but Fitzgibbon had a horror night- failing to convert a single one of Parramatta’s four tries.
Parramatta: Michael Witt, Nathan Cayless, Craig Gitzgibbon, and Jamie Lyon. Fitzgibbon 0/4
Gold Coast: Tevita Vaikona, George Smith, Dennis Moran, and Tommy O’Reilly. Johns 3/4
PoM Points: Francis Meli 3, Nathan Cayless 2, and Michael Witt 1.
Luana’s Fond Farewell
After being brought up through the grades at Wellington, local hero Graham Luana today farewelled his club with a dominant perfomrance. The PNG lock had a perfect day with the boot, and was the linch-pin in Wellington’s 28-10 thrashing of the resurgent North Melbourne Maulers.
Wellington: Ashley Graham, Clinton Toopi, Jeremy Paul, and Willie Mason. Luana 6/6
North Melbourne: Scott Hill and Richard Taylor. Walker 1/2
PoM Points: Graham Luana 3, Clinton Toopi 2, and Ruben Wiki 1.
Falcons Survive Shocker
A truly embarassing performance by the Central Coast Falcons has almost seen them go down to the last placed Wollongong Destructors, who they last met in their Division Two Grand Final victory only a few months ago. Both sides snared two tries, with Sebastian Azema scoring the match-winner off an Emmerton grubber in the 73rd.
Wollongong: Danny McGuire and Scott McLean. Kimmorley 0/2
Central Coast: Sebastian Azema and Craig Emmerton. El Masri 3/4
PoM Points: Craig Emmerton 3, Braith Anasta 2, and Jason Bell 1.
Devils Escape Last Position
The South Melbourne Devils have scored a vital 22-0 win over the visiting Christchurch Carnage today, lifting the struggling side out of last position. The injection of little known halfback, Damien Gibson, seemed to spark the home side. The win leaves Wollongong as sole holders of the wooden spoon.
South Melbourne: Steve Witt 2, Damien Gibson, and Paul Southern. Witt 2/2. Elahmad 1/2
Christchurch: None.
PoM Points: Damien Gibson 3, Steve Witt 2, and Chris Salem 1.
Adelaide Power On
The Adelaide Attitude continue to mirror the fortunes of fellow slow starters, Carnarvon, as the Attitude out-kicked Surfers Paradise in a 10-6 win in front of a disheartened Gold Coast crowd. The Attitude and Punks scored a try each, with Adelaide capitalising on penalties in Surfers’ half to record the win. Despite the scoreline, Surfers were arguably the better side, but continually blew opportunities.
Surfers Paradise: Brett Seymour. Hannay 1/1
Adelaide: Chris Walker. Deacon 2/2. Geyer 1/1
PoM Points: Rhys Wesser 3, Brett Seymour 2, and Dane Carlaw 1.
DIVISION TWO
Townsville Halt Rivals
The return to form of UK fullback, Kris Radlinski, has lifted Townsville to a vital 20-12 win over the red hot Cairns White Pointers. With the Cairns side gaining support up north despite hints of a possible merger, the Dolphins put together a solid performance in humid conditions to get their season back on track.
Cairns: Jason King and Bilal Najjarin. Lamaisson 2/2
Townville: Giovanni Piazza 2 and Craig Bowen. Drummond 4/4
PoM Points: Kris Radlinski 3, Giovanni Piazza 2, and Linden Drummond 1.
Suns Humble Wyrms
The Suva Suns continue to be as hard to predict as the weather, as they today put together their best performance of the season to thrash Coffs Harbour, 28-10. Brilliant performances from Union converts Justin Marshal and Christian Cullen lead the charge, whilst Wes Davies snared a hat-trick for the home side.
Suva: Christian Cullen, Wes Davies 3, Demetrius Lichtenstein, and Deiter Fisher. O’Gara 2/6
Coffs Harbour: Stirling Mortlock and Raymond Karl. Opan 1/2
PoM Points: Justin Marshal 3, Christian Cullen 2, and Sam Harris 1.
Last Hurrah
With coach Roger Bossert organising a major reshuffle of the Oilers after this round, today’s clash with Penrith was a lot of players’ last chance to show off their wares in Division Two. They didn’t disappoint, Sydney finally clicking into overdrive with a solid 32-10 win over the Penrith Highlanders.
Sydney: Luke Covell, Nigel Vagana, Jason Robinson, Jason Ryles, and John Rovoa. Covell 6/7
Penrith: Martin Gleeson and Jake Lamia. Riddell 1/2
PoM Points: Jason Robinson 3, Shane Laloata 2, and Daniel Fitzhenry 1.
New England Weather Downs Ferrets and Chargers
A downpour of torrential performances during the second half has meant that Canberra and New England have been unable to break an 18 all scoreline. The pouring rain reduced visibility to mere metres, and the wet conditions added up to a total of forty handling errors between the two sides. The rain also made it nigh on impossible for either side to nail goals, and three players had to be taken to hospital with suspected hypothermia.
Canberra: Paul Whatuira, John Cross, and Ryan O’Hara. Towers 3/5
New England: Lee Harland, Brad Baker, and Andy Farrell. Farrell 3/7
PoM Points: Lee Harland 3, Albert Torrens 2, and Loren Broussard 1.
Power Maintain Division Two Lead
The Port Moresby Power have remained in control of Division Two again today, but had to do it tough against an always unpredictable Auckland side. The Power outmuscled Auckland’s feared forward pack in the first half, before their backs and halves took control to record a 34-24 win.
Port Moresby: Steve Bell, Jamie Bloem, Tommy Martyn, John Morris 2, and Tavis Zephyr. Martyn 4/6
Auckland: Steve Stacey, David Treacy, Mark Aopaeia, and Matthew Petersen. Detreaux 3/4
PoM Points: Steve Stacey 3, Alfred Songoro 2, and Jamie Bloem 1.
The Downward Spiral
It seems after such a promising start to their second season, Redlands are doomed to repeat last year’s abysmal finish, as they today slumped to an 18-8 home loss to the Eastwood Pumas. The loss, Redlands’ forth in a row, was made worse by the fact the Redlands’ players seemed entirely uninterested in the clash.
Redlands: Daryl Cardiss. Takawira 2/3
Eastwood: Tom O’Shea, Todd Byrne, and Matt Adamson. Furner 3/3
PoM Points: Tom O’Shea 3, Jamain Lowe 2, and Ben Tune 1.
Stallions Ride Again
The Fairfield Stallions continue to be a dominant force in Division Two, having little trouble in humiliating the last placed Drovers, 22-2 in a one sided affair. Another star performance from underrated lock, Scott Magro, was the catalyst for the win.
Fairfield: Chris Kendra 2, Scott Magro, and Rupeni Caucaunibuca. Magro 3/5
South Queensland: None. Rodwell 1/2
PoM Points: Scott Magro 3, Shayne McMenemey 2, and Jarod O’Doherty 1.
Mavericks Get Back on Track with Half Century
After a worrying three game losing streak looked set to spoil Hawkesbury’s dream season, the players rallied today and put on a real show to embarass Tamworth City 50-0 in front of an ecstatic Central Coast crowd. Starring in were departing stars Brad Fittler and Steve Prescott, Prescott scoring fourteen points in the romp.
Hawkesbury: Brad Fittler, Joe Roff 2, Matthew Rieck, Brett Howland, Mick van Der Wall, Lote Tuiqiri, Adam Perry, and Inoke Ratudina. Prescott 7/9
Tamworth City: None.
PoM Points: Joe Roff 3, Adam Perry 2, and Steve Prescott 1.
Sinfield Signing Out
In his final game in the Bulls’ colours, Kevin Sinfield has put in another star performance to ammend Brisbane’s recent poor form and lead his side to a 30-0 lead over the struggling Ipswich Reds. Sinfield scored fourteen of his sides points, and had a hand in two other tries in the five tries to nil romp.
Ipswich: None.
Brisbane: John Hopoate 2, Kevin Sinfield, Craig Stapleton, and Kandy Tamer. Sinfield 5/5
PoM Points: Kevin Sinfield 3, Fifita Moala 2, and Matt Nightingale 1.
Ravens Outmuscle Without Mehrtens
After influential five eighth, Andrew Mehrtens, was injured after ten minutes- Capetown’s chances of downing in form Newcastle at EnergyAustralia looked slim. However, star performances from the unheralded Ravens’ forward pack have meant that the Ravens held Newcastle scoreless whilst racking up sixteen of their own to record a valuable 16-0 win.
Newcastle: None.
Capetown: Michael Robertson and Noah Sete. Mehrtens 4/4
PoM Points: Noah Sete 3, Bronsen Saunders 2, and Anthony Collela 1.
We have finally done it. Our mass farewell to players was celebrated by a demolition job on Penrith.
The Oilers had a very busy week in the headlines. The team was under pressure to perform after leaving the ESF. We relied on our own roster to get the job done. While the borrowed ESF players were okay, they did'nt possess the Oiler spirit and our side felt fragmented between two loyalties. After we broke away from the ESF, we finally had unity and were heading in the same direction. Our training sessions this week were the best I have seen in my Oiler coaching career.
No offence to the ESF, but we needed a different direction. I wish the ESF luck in the future.
Due to Cameron Smith leaving and Pat Gibson's injury, Ben Kennedy trained and played at hooker. While he was not our best, he tackled his heart out and played with vigour. His knockout hits on Firman(causing him to leave the field) and Riddell were truly inspirational.
As part of our pre-match entertainment , we have decided to put on a series of rare musical acts. The series is called "Has-beens and One Hit Wonders".
For our first performance, we decided to employ two has-beens. Our first act was Pearl Jam, who have been quiet for some time. They performed a song as a tribute to me called "Better Man". The original song was about a woman beater, but they changed the lyrics to glorify me. Great stuff!!!
Our main pre-match entertainment was the New Kids On The Block reunion. They also rewrote the lyrics of their songs to promote the Oilers. For an example, here is some of their rewritten lyrics for "The Right Stuff".
"Oh, Oh, A-oo, Oh, Oh, A-oo, Oh, Oh A-oo, THE RIGHT STUFF"
"First hit-up was a great hit-up, second one was a break, third one was a try right between the poooosts."
"You got the right stuff, OILERS".
"Love the way we cheer you on".
"You got the right stuff, OILERS".
"You're the reason why I sing this song".
Classic work guys. 1992 all over again!!!
Next week will be even better. With the arrival of Brett Kimmorley, Willie Peters, Mark O'Neill, Travis Norton, Aaron Cannings, Ben Harris and Kyle Bryant, we'll be having huge celebrations.
Townsville will be our guests, so we need to welcome them with a total massacre. With Kimmorley leading the way, we should do it with ease.
Roger
