First of all, check out all of the results from ASWF Bloodied and Broken

The ASWF's fifth show, to kick of the next block of TV appearances, is set to explode this coming Thursday. How will the ASWF superstars react to Sir Quincy Penfold III's new alliance with MrCharisma. Will Reg Reagan's return shake things up? Only time will tell

Commissioner, Chris Walker-Bush, has offered a bounty for Chopstick's head. Who will take him up on the lucrative offer- a chance to be the first ever ASWF superstar to hold the new Pacific Title.

The Randy Man is laying back in his seat at his home with Reg Regan. The two have nothing but Kb's all around them. Randy Man is talking in his sleep.

Randy Man:I've got you now Penfold. This is it, I'm going to become champion. What Charisma? Noooooooo. He wakes up. That bastard I'm really going to make him pay. Randy Man grabs the phone. Hey Bushie, how ya doing? Yeah that chopstick is a big bad man...I have an idea...A bit of you scratch my back I'll scratch yours...I want Charisma in a Hardcore Match...Yeah he needs to have the grease knocked out of him...I don't care if he thinks he's Travolta...Now I understand you want Chopstick taken care of, well he happen to upset my butler Giles at the Bloodied and Broken Pay Per View...I will allow Giles out to play if you let me finish what that bitch started...I've got that coverd...Oh and if I win, I want SPQ in a no interference disqualifications mean loss of belt match...Yeah well get back to me on that one...Hope to hear from you soon, Chow Big Balls.


Reg:What'd that puncy c&*t say?

Randy:He said he'll see what he can do. I'll get that wog either way and now I have you here I have some backup.

Reg:I'll f&8king drink to that.

The whisper of the beer can is heard and the Randy Man and Reg scull their beers and laugh about something stupid...

MrCharisma has a portable camera known as Charisma-cam, he is walking around as we see what he see's but no one really is sure what he is doing, since it's before work and no one is here.

The question is answered when we reached the rustic door of the Randy Man. Charisma busts the door to find a large room, untidy, fill of pornos' and usesd tissues and about a hundred slabs of KG beer.

Charisma pops around the door again to retreive a stedgehammer and locks the door. He looks at the sledgehammer with an evil grin. As he lifts the sledgehammer... the telephone rings. The call goes to the answering machine and we find out Reg isn't coming in to todays show because of a hang-over.

MrCharisma laughs as he proceeds to bash the cases of beer.... letting it all flow on the ground and then into the drains. To add injury to insult, MrC then ducks back around the corner to bring back a spray bottle. Charisma then goes around spraying the room with this unknown liquid, however; on smell you would realise it was the smell of hommus.

Charisma's work is done. He ducks around the corner one more time to get his pizza box and leaves it on Randy's table. Inside a note reads "I'm cheeesed to meet you Randy Man"

After seeing the attrocity that MrCharisma left in his room The Randy Man looks furious. He hears Reg Regan's message and laughs as he picks up the phone...

Randy Man: Piss Off Ya Poofter, As if you wouldn't come cause of a friggin hangover. Look that ethnic faggot has trashed my dressing room, and Reg he's smashed the KB...Yeah all of it...I know what a prick...And the whole place smells like hommus...yeah I know what must be done...see ya soon...bye...no you hang up...no you hang up...you...ok 1,2,3 you didn't hang up


Camera Fades...

The Randy Man is dressed in some sort of camouflaged suit as he busts into MrCharisma’s dressing room. There is no one in the room but there are naked pictures of Sir Quincy Penfold all over the room. There are also thousands of bottles of Ouzo out the back.

The Randy Man finds the sledgehammer that was used to destroy his KB and decides to smash every single bottle of Ouzo keeping a couple of bottle for him and Reg for later. He tears down ever picture of Sir Quincy Penfold and throws them in a bin, pours a little Ouzo on it and burns them.

After they finished burning The Randy Man throws a used condom at MrCharismas’ mirror at which it sticks to. He places a sign just under it reading, “I saw, I came, I didn’t wipe, congratulations you have just been royally F&*ked by the Randy Man”.

As he leaves the phone rings the answering machine answers. It's Sir Quincy Penfold talking about how theres no way he would interfere in MrChraisma's inferior match for it has no real effect on his own. Randy Man lets off a laugh and runs out of the room just before MrCharisma arrives...

Sir Quincy Penfolds State of the Union Address....

Good evening worthless excuse mongerers of the ASWF. This belt over my shoulder is called a WORLD TITLE. I say this because i'm the only person in this bothersome federation to ever own it. You can say what you want, may even have almost convinced yourselves even, that you have some claim on this title. That you deseve yet another title shot. I am here to tell you that is simply not true. The truth is, if the talent roster in this federation was a horse, it would be shot for humanitarian reasons.

Randy man, i have pinned you, your sad little dream is over. Go back to the circus. I handed you your tag team titles to you out of pure PI-ty. We both know you will never hoist a singles belt skyward. Not a wrestling one anyway. I hope you realise that alcoholism is a disease. A poor mans affliction, a defence mechanism appropriated to dissolve ones own feelings of self hate. Why do you hate yourself young man, you have so much to live fo- Oh sorry, no you don't, i forgot, quick have another "Ouzo"(?) before dark reality attacks!!

Chopstick, my boy, my smelly, dirty, retchid boy. You say that your arrest was thwarted by, let me see, (SQP3 puts on a monacle, twirls his moustache) stipulation 72.8 of the ASWF charter any man who enters the ring during a match is deemed to have done so at his own risk. Fascinating, really. You must be quite the sleuth to discover this montrosity of a rule. Does the fact that Giles was merely "ringside" observing his beloved sport first hand not render this fact mute? You attacked him and through him into the ring. Poor poor Giles! I demand your suspension as such! How about Gods commandments? Commandment 14 of the new genesis, "thou shalt not covet nor admonish thy neighbours butler"?

Mr Charisma, you are truly an athlete! Congratulations on such an overwhelming and moving victory. People seemed to be suggesting we have some kind of super, all powerful, nobody could ever possibly defeat juggernaut of a partnership. How peculiar.

Baron, what has happened to you of late, you husky little butterfly?

Senor Ding Dong, perhaps the nect Pacific Champion. God knows i've beaten you too many times for another title shot? Onto smaller and shorter things eh? Chopstick for example.

Randy man is sitting back watching the "State of the Union" Address made by Sir Quincy Penfold.

Randy Man: What an absolute wank job. I am going to beat the shit out of him next time we meet in the ring, that shouldn't be too far away seeing as Reg is back. As for him handing me the tag titles as if, the ref handed them to me after I pinned Tonto. But I have a feeling that Sir Quincy's reign at the top will be incredibly short lived, he has rubbed too many people the wrong way and there is no way he be able to dodge all of us even if that greasy wog is defending him.

Randy Man stands up and picks up a photo of his father the great Impotence Man.

Randy Man:I do all this for you dad...Well the ladies is for little Randy Man but you know what I mean. I will gain the titles and I will hold them high just like you did.

Randy Man does one of those heroic poses and gives the camera a final melodramatic look as it fades out....

In the Bellcave

(Tonto is running around in a rage while El se·ñor Ding Dong is trying to play a untunned guitar)

Tonto:Fucking hell i shouldnt of fucking taken the money look whats happened to chopstick (Tonto punches a prisless Sculpture of a bulls head)

El se·ñor Ding Dong:Gee bloody hell Tonto calm down that was my Pricless Piccaso sculpture

Tonto: It seems like nothing goes right for us

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Well Tonto lets go make it.

(El se·ñor Ding Dong and Tonto storm out of the cave, Ding Dong still clutching his guitar)

(Tonto is seen marching up to Mr Charisma's office, then knocks very loudly)

(Mr Charisma opens the door with kebab in hand and it sounds like there is a conversation being held behind him)

Mr Charisma: what do you want you little creep

Tonto: Your tittle you fat bastard and this (Tonto grabs Mr Charisma's Kebab and runs his little arse off, Mr Charisma chases)

(As this is happening Kassandra and Sir Quincey Penfold open the door to see whats happening, then with at almighty speed El se·ñor Ding Dong hits SQP III with his guitar smashing it over his head and dropping him on his arse in a daze)

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Sorry damsel you had to see this. (Then disapears)

(Tonto still being chased by Mr Charisma runs into randy mans dressing room disturbing a Randyman being massaged by two beautiful blondes)

Randy man: What is the purpose of this interuption

Tonto: Sorry Senor but i have brought you this fool in a propostion my master El Senor Ding Dong and I get a crack at your Tag team title we dont care when even if we have other matches we want what we are in titled and we will stop no where.

(As Tonto was explaning Mr Charisma and Randyman saw some red paint on his fingers)

(Mr charism trys to attack Tonto but he pulls out a container of mace spray and spays him in the eyes then sprays it on the kebab and has a bite while Mr Charisma is rolling around on the ground in pain)

Tonto: MMM just what it needed so what do you think

Mr Charisma is still rolling around on the ground in pain. The Randy Man picks up a bat and hits Charisma till he goes limp.

Randy Man: Ok well Giles get rid of this, take him back to his room and put him in his bed, put a panadol and a glass of water beside him. I don't want him pulling out of the match. And as for you Tonto you will get yourt title match provided you can help me with some problems. I believe I can help your partner senor Ding Dong as well.

Senor Ding Dong appears at the door...

Randy Man: Mr Ding Dong come in sit down lets talk about a partnership. Have some Ouzo it's on the house. Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

*sigh*
SQP3: How sad, i see you people have dug up a Mr C impersonator as well for your silly little antics. Mr Charisma isn't even in the state today you wretehed beasts!

The crowd is roars as Party Boy appears in the ring, in what looks to be a talk show style set. He is standing there draped by his usual enterage of beautiful girls. The crowd go quiet waiting for what he has to say. Party Hoe 1 steps forward with a microphone and announces.

Party Hoe: Good evening Party People and welcome to the very 1st installment of THE PARTY SCENE, a review on all things wrestling hosted by the one the only, the sexiest S.O.B I have ever seen, my man Party Boy!!!!!

Party Boy: Why thank you baby! HEY YO WHASS HAPPENING EVERYBODY?? ARE YOU ALL READY TO GET DOWN AND PARTY WIT DA MASTA! Welcome to my new segment the Party Scene where I will take an in depth view at all things going down in wrestling. This weeks theme is, the losers of Wrestling. You know all those Mother F*@#ers, that say might stick there nose into other people's business. You see Party Boy aint down wit dat, and all you wonderful people aren't down with that. So take a look at this footage and we'll see who's the feature of tonight's show.

On the big Screen footage of Party Boy vs Pwn comes on, and it is fast forwarded through until the bit where Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson, runs in.

Party Boy: Yeah that's right everybody, tonight in focus we will be talking about that sad bitch that has to be the ugliest and most talentless "wrestler" and I use that term loosely when I talk about this fool. Well tonight it is time to expose Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson as the talentless hack he is, and why he has got no place in the ring, and especially when I am gracing the ring with my presence. Now how about we get this fool down here.

Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson music plays as he comes down to the ring, face to face with Party Boy. The crowd start chanting, Ralph's a wanker! Ralph's a wanker.

Party Boy: Welcome to the Party Scene! Party Hoe please bring me two glasses of my very finest Party Juice.

The party hoe comes with 2 glasses. They both have a sip of the drinks, Party Boy smiles and looks at Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson .

Party Boy: Now I am not the sort of player to hold a grudge so I want to put this behind us. Now let's just enjoy some party juice.

They both charge there glasses, the crowd is dead silent not knowing what is going on. Then Party Boy kicks Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson in the stomach, and gets him into an airoplane spin which goes into a spine-buster then smashes his glass on his face. His party hoe throws him a bat she had under the ring. It is a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire with the words "party down" written on it. Party boy is laying into him, while dancing around the ring having the time of his life. What's this, PWN is running down to the ring he is carrying a sledgehammer, he slides into the ring. He looks to be going straight for Party Boy, he swings and oh my god he has hit Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson, they are both laying into him, Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson is a bloody mess. PWN has an evil smile on his face while making an evil laughing sound", he looks to have made a truce with Party Boy, this could be a major force in ASWF if these to strike up a partnership. The Party Hoe throws Party Boy the mic.

Party Boy: Well my dear lord, Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson has just learnt some respect. And I must say PWN I am suprised you have come out to help me. But man anything we had in the past, that's the past. You and me are down like a clown charlie brown. Now you are someone worthy of sharing my Party Juice with. Here Party Scrag you can have a crack at PWN tonight! I tell you player she has been around the block a few times but god damn is she hott! I bet a rat kid like you would like a good night with this fabulous young lady, I believe you call them "bitches" in your neck of the woods! Das it people, boys are girls, hot mummies and pimp daddies, that brings us to the end of proceedings tonight. This is the Party scene, I am Party Boy, let's all party down! And PARTY ON PEOPLE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PEACE WE OUTTA HERE!

While disturbing for some and funny for others, we continue footage within the Randy Man's dressing room where we find Randy Man and Reg Regan drinking some newly bought KB's while MrCharisma is laying on the ground beaten and bruised.

Reg, Randy Man and two beautiful ladies chuckle about the misfortune of MrCharisma while occasionally taunting him by pouring VB beer *can't waste KB's* over him and poking or kicking him. For some reason or another, the four decided to leave the room, possibly because they are bored.

Moments later KassandRa runs in to see a half-dead MrCharisma so she proceeds to call the ambulance using her mobile phone. Minutes later a handful of medics come running in, put a neck-brace on and stretcher him into the ambulance destined for the hospital

Pretty Woman hits the arena and KassandRa walks down the isle into the ring

KassandRa: Ladies and Gentlemen, first off I would like to appoligise for the horrific, torturing and disturbing footage you saw only moments ago, where my client MrCharisma was wrongfully attacked in a cowardly way. My client was lured by Mr El Tacco and finally beaten senseless by the Randy Man who is obviously annoyed because he is not at the same level as Sir Quincy.

This cowardly act has now put MrCharisma is hospital and quiet dearly fighting for his life.

Crowd beings to chant 'bullshit'

KassandRa: Believe what you want friends but we all saw how badly MrCharisma was beaten moments ago. We also witness the medics applying a neck-brace and the last time I checked they don't go giving out neck-braces when you have a few cuts and bruises. Do you know what MrCharisma said to me today, he said he would give any wrestler the oppotunity to compete against him for his title.

Crowd beings to chant 'bullshit'

KassandRa: It's true and unfortunately for that young wrestler who could live out one of his dreams, he will not get that oppotunity tonight. The medics also told me MrCharisma maybe out of action for some weeks. I told this to Chris Walker-Bush

Crowd cheers loudly, KassandRa looks annoyed at all the interuptions and stands silent until the crowd settles, which is actually a fair while

KassandRa: As I was saying, when I told Chris Walker-Bush

Again the crowd goes into a cheering frenzy

KassandRa: WOULD YOU ALL SHUT THE HELL UP! As I was saying, when I told Chris Walker-Bush about this, I was told if MrCharisma can not defend his Hardcore title at least within the month, he will be fored to give it up.

The crowd begin to chant 'nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbye' repeatitly

KassandRa: YOU'RE ALL INCONSIDERATE BUSHPIGS!

KassandRa slams down the mic and storms off backstage

Card so Far...

Someone will take on Chopstick to become the first ever ASWF Pacific Champion!

How will Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson react to his two on one beating from Party Boy and pwn?

With MrCharisma in hospital after an horrific attack from Reg Reagan and The Randy Man, there will be a match for the #1 HC contendership

Sir Quincy Penfold III is set to defend his World Title

ASWF camera's are taken to the Bankstown Hospital where MrCharisma is laying in Emergancy Ward, hooked up on life support and with both arms and both legs held towards the roof in plaster cast.

KassandRa enters and sits besides him, holding his hand and shortly an Indian doctor enters the room

KassandRa: Doctor, what are the results of the tests?
Doctor: Well MrCharisma as you can tell has been seriously beaten. He has fracters to both his elbows, fracters to his legs and knees as well as serious bruising all over his body.
KassandRa: Will he *gasp* live through the night?
Doctor: He's hooked up on life support and should live through the night, however; his chances of wrestling ever again are slim to none.
KassandRa: Thank you doctor

The Randy Man is Backstage after listening to to all of the updates on the condition of MrCharisma...

Randy Man:Did you see me hit him with the bat Reg?

Reg:Yeah you clogged him right on the head.

Randy Man:But did I hit him anywhere else?

Reg:No, just the head from what I saw.

Randy:Then how can he be fractures on his arms and legs, what did we do lie him down incorrectly?

Reg:Must have puncy wog, how's that chump supposed to be hardcore champion, if he can't take a few hits to the noggin without ending up in hospital. If you ask me the two main champions in this federation sound like fairy chumps!

Randy Man:I'll drink to thank brother!

They scull their KB once more...

Randy Man:Oh Giles!! Send that Kassandra a bunch of roses and a sorry to hear your leaving card.

Reg and Randy laugh and continue drinking.

The lights go of in the areana the A.C.D.C classic 'TNT' is being played the big screen turns on showing a small Mexican wrestler going off mainly against the opponents Chopstick and Randyman. Then the spotlight appears in the middle of the ring with a broad short figure with a microphone and a shopping trolley full of junk.

Tonto: In the absence of Mr Charisma i claim i should have first shot at the Hardcore title contendership and i promise Im not going to be as weak as other contenders as you can see I have brought some little toys to make my matches more exciting and actually hardcore for once.

Tonto points to cricket bats, fire exstinguishers, 4x2's wrapped in barbed wire, a cactus in a pot, wooden legs crutches and more junk

Tonto: Im apealing mainly to Chris Walker Bush If your champ can't take a blow with some pepper spray and one hit with a bat i declare its time for a new champ one that actually is hardcore.

The light disapears and so does Tonto and his weapons

Backstage interview in the dressing rooms on Party Cam.

Party Hoe: How do you think Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson will react to the complete punishment he got from your amazing self and PWN.

Party Boy: Sup yall, well I think he will have come to the realisation that he is the worlds biggest loser. But we have yet another suprise install.

Party Hoe: Another suprise? What on earth will it be?

Party Boy: Well you see, tonight infront of my millions and millions of fans around the world, PWN & I will challenge Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson to a Steel Cage Handicap match. That way he will have no where to run and no where to hide, and will just be able to catch another beating.

Party Hoe: Wow, I would certainly like to be punched around the ring by you, but it looks like Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson will cop a different kind of punishment, and PWN being the supreme rat kid he is, how do you think he will act?

Party Boy: Well my dear I am sure we can arrange a match up between you and I after we finish whiping the floor with that mother f$%#er, all I know is the PWN has said to me and I quote " I can't wait to punch on with that c@nt eheheheheehe" So Tough Guy, why don't you accept the challenge and take us on! Because we are looking for total domination of the wrestling scene, and when we do that oh hell yeah it will be time to PARTY!!!!!! That's all I have to say good looking ;)

Party Hoe: There you have it party people my man Party Boy and the supreme rat kid PWN have thrown out the challenge for a handicap match to Ralph 'The ASS' Burgesson. Tune in next week, same party time same party channel.

Soon after Tont leaves a new character emerges from the darkness of under the ring and follows the small man back to El se·ñor Ding Dongs change room where Ding Dong is practicing some moves and Tonto is putting away his arrangement of weapons, Then this misterious character grabs tonto and hangs him on the towel rack and grabs the cricket bat and smashes it in to Ding Dongs face that drops him down in agony. Then kicks him in the face repeatedly with the thong covered feet. Then puts a onslaught of punches into Tonto's ribs as his little arms and legs swing repeatly missing the attacker.

El se·ñor Ding Dong:Oww my face my beautiful face

Tonto: who do you think you are, are you one of Charisma's or penfolds assasins?, Ill get you creap, as soon as i get down from here.

Jesse (the Surfboard) Cornish: Ha you think your worthy challenges you the greazy spaniard want to be bull fighter who has faught three matches so far and two of them worrld champion title fights and not one win your pathetic, and you the Mexican garbage compactor all you do all day is eat shit and kiss that bell heads feet. You have no hope becoming a hardcore champion if you can be manhandle by me so eas....

[Neigh.. Crash...

The Attacker gets interrupted by a angry donkey that smashes the door down and applying mule kicks at the attacker and narrowly missing making a mess of lockers and tables. Jesse ducks tha attacks and high tails out of there showing the slogan on the attackers back 'Be a surfy not westy, suck a tittie not a testie'

Randy Man: Woooooow what the? what the F&*k is Tonto doing challenging for the world title? We had an agreement! And who the hell is this new bitch surfie?

Reg:He did a number on that spick.

Randy:Yeah that bitch deserved it. Hey listen maybe he's comming this way, Giles lock the door, boys grab the bats, he ain't getting us. Hey I just got an idea...

RandyMan picks up the phone...

Randy Man: Yeah Bushy I just had a great idea...Yeah I know he's in hospital but how about when the oil queen gets out we have a all contenders and champion hardcore elimination match. Ok here's how it goes we all go down to the ring at the start but only two start, each time someone is eliminated another enters until it's just the last two. The draw is random except for the last person who is the champion, you see this is better for the wog, he'll have to agree to it...Ok get back to me...bye

Randy Man hangs up, grabs the bat and waits patiently...

The Randy Man is walking quietly backstage with bat still in hand when he runs into Party Hoe....

Randy Man:Oh sorry pretty lady, Oh my I mean beautiful lady more like it, how does someone like me have the pleasure of running into someone like you out here?

Party Hoe:Why thank you Mr Randy Man. you certainly are alot better looking in person yourself. I better go he wouldn't like me talking to you...

Randy Man:Who? Who is it your scared of being caught with me is?

Party Hoe:Party Boy

Randy Man:Who?

Party Hoe:Party Boy you know the wrestler!

Randy Man: No idea, say would you do me the favour my good friend Reg Regan has gone out for a couple of hours and I need a drinking partner.

Party Hoe:Well I guess one would be good.

The two walk into The Randy Mans Locker room where quotes like "We Usually drink naked and kiss" "Do you mind if I touch your nipple" "It's all about the love baby". Then screams of pleasure echo from the room and continue for about half an hour before the ceremonial "YEAH YEAH YEAH" quote is heard...

(in the vein that people seem to think they can do anything they want to other peoples characters whenever they want in there own promos, i guess i will do the same)

Sir Quincy is walking the backstages at the ASWF arena before the show. He is not actually walking, he is flying around on a rocket propelled jet pack he had made after watching "The Rocketeer" in his private theatre last month. He zooms past Tonto and Ding Dong who are arguing over who going to catch there mule. He zooms into the Randy Mans dressing room unnoticed because he is high above them (how suiting don't you think?). They are discussing whether or not the IQ tests real prove them to be morons or not. reg reagan uses a three syllable word and they both look at each other confused. He takes a small bottle out of his pocket, he puts on a gas mask. He drops the bottle and upon sniffing the liquid the two cavemen start beating each other on the chest and scratching there heads and trying to hump each other then fall down into unconsciousness. SQP3 blows a whistle and 6 short, possibly blind albino men run into the room and pick up the unconscious, smelly bodies. They carry the bodies outside to a waiting car. NOT A LIMO. SQP3 would never allow trash like this to ride in a limo under his control.

Scene cuts

Scene reopens on an airport. Randy man and reg reagan are being loaded into a crummy looking jet. The plane takes off. The plane lands in America. It is Arizona.
SQP3 takes the two to a cabin filled with yokels. The verbal retards wake up looking terrified. The yokels take turns sodomising Reagan and Randy Man. Bleeding from there asses they are handcuffed to a car and driven over the cliff into the Grand Canyon where they burn to death. SQP3 drinks champagne.

(Thank you for using me in your own promos)

Jesse (the surfboard) Cornish is seen outside the locker room of the little asian loony Chopstick with Knuckle dusters on both fists. The surf board punches through the door.

Jesse (The Surfboard) Cornish: You want a challenger for the Pacific tittle bitch im going to bring it!!

Jesse stands with fist pointed at Chopstick

Jesse (The Surfboard) Cornish: Good you understand

Jesse walks out at the same time the Baron walks past Jesse swings the Baron ducks and gets his helmet knocked of and bolts leaving his helmet on the ground jesse picks it up.

Jesse (The Surfboard) Cornish: Hey buddy dont you want this? Well you know where to get it, with me ha ha, ha ha , ha

(Taking a blocking move right out of the book of the hypocritical Sir Quincy Penfold, The Randy Man refer's to a previous statenment.)

Randy Man: How sad, i see you people have dug up a Randy Man and Reg Regan impersonator as well for your silly little antics. The Randy Man and Reg Regan wern't even in their dressing room at the time this attack was supposed to happen! Oh and sorry if this sounds familiar I was never one for originality!

Sir Quincy Penfold the Third wakes up in his big bed and curses.

"Curses!! It was all just a dream! Follly oh pickles!! I want a jet rocket pack!!"

SQP3 gets up and opens the big blinds, its time for a new day.

Out of Character Note
MackDadday has a point, guys. Cutting a promo is fine, as is involving your opponent- but leave things like severe beatings out of it unless both opponents have agreed to participate in it.

KassandRa is walking down a hallway when she bumps into Jessie Cornish. Both of them stare down at the other, you can really feel the tension! They are frozen for a moment before KassandRa pushes past her and continues walking. Jessie has a blank look on her face as the camera fades

Party Boy is being interviewed backstage by the coach.

Coach: So Party Boy, what do you think of Randy Man going to his room with party hoe?

Party Boy: HAHAHAHAHA oh my god, I can't believe that idiot fell for that. That was a girl we hired that looked exactly like Party Hoe. The funny thing is though she is a hermaphrodite, so Randy Man would have had quite a night back there. It was meant to be a trap for Ralph 'The ice', but that stupid oaf fell for it. Seriously I think he would have got alot more then what he bargained for with the other "Party Hoe", maybe we'll call her the Party Him, or the Party it. I think maybe Randy Man will learn his lesson 1 don't mess with another mans bitch even if he has 1000s of them, like me. and 2 that he will never be the man I am.

Coach: you certainly aren't showing Randy Man much respect, how do you think he will react.

Party Boy: Well after his encounter with Party thing, I think he may have the taste to a bit of cock, he certainly was in there with her a while. And Respect? Ha you have to give respect to get respect, I am the Party Boy, I am a legend, I am a ladies man, I am the sexiest S.O.B this wrestling industry has seen. I am also a 5th degree blackbelt in aikido, and I am so god damn disciplined as well. So Randy Man can take his new found he she and she can let him recieve for a while. Peace I'm out coach.

Coach: Strong words from a stronger man. He seems determined to turn this industry upside down, and I for 1 am glad he is here, not like thos other old and stale wrestlers. Party Boy is the way of the future!

(Pwn is backstage and throws a water bomb at party hoe)

Pwn: eheheheheheh

Party Hoe: jesus fucking christ Pwn

Party Boy: whats up with that player?

Pwn: im just fuckin around ay cunt, take a chill pill ay.

Party Boy: Im cool, Im Cool, but you gotta stop fucking with my ladies.

Pwn: yeah whatever cunt. Duuude i cant wait to punch on with that fuckwit raphael or whatever his fuckin name is, but what im more looking forward to is our crew garn out to melbas so i can pick up a root should be sick ay.

Party Boy: aight, you know party boy is always ready to party

(Party boy, Pwn and Party Hoe go to melbas, pwn doesnt get laid but instead threatens to punch some guy in the taxi line but all he does is push him until someone breaks it up)

In the ruins of the change room Tonto is lifted off the towel rack by El se·ñor Ding Dong whos face has a severe cut over the left eye from what the attacker has done to his face with a bat.

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Are You alright Tonto

Tonto: Yeah im fine se·ñor, what about your eye it looks horrible.

Ding Dong goes over to Isabel and starts patting her

El se·ñor Ding Dong: Its fine Tonto just put a few stiches in it and i will wrestle. Gee what a good steed i have, you looked after us girl, Tonto before you stich my eye can you get the best oats money can by for this steed. And when your gone look out for that attacker and be carefull for all those imposters and look a likes they can be quite a pain.

Tonto: Sure thing master.

And Tonto exits

The Randy Man is backstage in his personal shower, he seems to be washing his genitals quite agressivly....

Randy Man: Now that shit is seriously ficked up. Party Hoe was a bro or something. I can't believe I put my ding dong in the bitch.

Reg walks in the room laughing.

Reg:Ha ha ha ha you poof, why didn't you check downstairs before going all the way.

Randy Man:How do you know?

Reg:I just saw this interview on the TV Party Boy had that hoe/bro as a setup for some ICE queen.

Randy: ARggggh dammit, I forgot the sacred rules amongst wrestlers and I paid for it.

Reg: Whats that?

Randy Man: Bros before Hoes.

Reg: Yeah Mutha Fucker!

Randy: Lets send Party Boy an apology letter and throw a case of KB in it as well.

Reg: But Randy...was it any good?

Randy: Bet sex I have ever had he/she could get into some of the...SHUT UP!

Camera Fades...

shadta comes fuming to a press conference after shortening his trip back into the highlands of PNG.

SHADTA: how dare randy man, and tonto attack MRCHARISMA like that.

HEAD REPORTER: isn't MRC your number one enemy?

SHADTA: yes he is, his head was mine to collect and therefore i will not stop until randy man and tonto's heads are hanging from my wardrobe.

HEAD REPORTER: thats a bit rough isn't it.

SHADTA: no it isn't, do you want to join them. they have got between me and what my gods have ordered me to do, so therefore the gods will need vengence. i propose to meet these two in a triple threat last man standing match.

HEAD REPORTER: what if they are two chicken to accept?

SHADTA: then i will have to resort to bringing in their girlfriends into this revenge.

Tonto: Shadta since im going to win the hardcore tittle im going to have to beat the shit out of you over and over again so why dont we make this tripple threat match hardcore to see whos going to be number one contender for the titlle for when that wuss Charisma gets out of hospital.

your on. lets say you are not going to be counted 1.2.3 until you are unconsious

(Chopstick sits on a large plush recliner lounge in a huge room. to one side of the room is a supersized TV wal unit with the best sytem money can buy. The room is decorated xtremely well and we can see that every item of furniture is as expensive as can be found. Aside from the coffee table he is resting his feet on the room looks to have the touch of an interior designer. The large hunk of metal with a glass top looks entirely out of place. Chopstick gets off his recliner and walks over to the camera)

Chopstick: At the request of my fans i am here to show the people how your next Pacific champion lives. It saddens me quite a bit to admit that i have an obsession. As you can see all around you i have scoured the furniture industry to equip my home with only the best and most expensive peices of furniture money can buy. The wealth used to furnish this room alone could feed a small nation. In the past i craved a rise to the heights of those in the upper classes and i began to do that with my home furnishings. Most of these items are fairly straightforwrd in their composition however my new centre peice is what i take most pride in. While to some this peice of metal upon which i rest my feet is considered a monstrosity, for me it is a step away from the commercial way i have lived since i made my succes in wrestling. For many years the Mercedes Benz has been a symbol of wealth, power and oppression. My coffee table here represents how the power of one small man can crush these things. You see when i crushed this car i did so to show how little fear i have of, shall we say the ruling classes. Mr Penfold has held power for too long in this federation and it seems he does so by tying himself to the shoestrings of Walker-Bush. This has gone on long enough. When one man can be punished for attacking an opponent who steps into the ring and be wrongly arrested, its time for that man to take a stand. We see on the other hand that the self proclaimed heir to the earth mr Penfold is able to run around doing as he pleases, no punishment for interfering in three matches and he still beleives he holds all the cards in this federation. Well ive cut the deck and you hold no aces. While Bush can try to keep me form playing the hand i hold against yours eventually youll be forced to play and you will lose your stack. For now i say to little surfer ill take you on and ill win my pacific title. Intimidation cannot be acheived by rnning around making threats to all and sundry. Penfold! youll keep till im ready and Bush wont be able to protect you forever. Your stablemate is not here to protect you either. Ill see you at the next event.

(scene cuts)

The Randy Man is walking back and forth in his dressing room as if his wife was giving birth...

Reg:Whats the matter Randy?

Randy Man:This damn shadta! What right has he to come in and demand a match? He has already had his ass handed to him by Charisma dammit! I am just trying to focus on the wog and destroying him but I can't while they are in my way.

Reg:Well there is only one way to deal with that!

Randy:How?

Reg:Destroy them in this Tripple Threat Match!

Randy:Your right! I will win this tripple threat match cause it is my destiny to hold a singular title above my head, I will do it for my father, it's what he would have wanted!!

Reg:Thats the spirit son!

Randy:Come on lets get ready for the match, call Giles he can help as well!

The Randy Man and Reg start doing weights however the weights just happen to be women...

Updated Card

Chopstick still needs an opponent for the Pacific Title match

Ralph 'The Ice' Burgesson has been challenged to a two on one steel cage handicap match!

The Randy Man will clash with Tonto and Shadta for a shot at MrCharisma's Hardcore Title.

Sir Quincy Penfold III is set to defend his World Title

What will Jesse Cornish's debut mean for the rest of the ASWF superstars?